Takes

The Pardon My Take crew has never lost a man in their Dungeons and Dragons history

Every time we play this game, we make sure all of us remain a tightness all. We've never lost a man.

Jack Doherty is a '1-1' pick for people who need to be punched in the face

Jack Doherty's our pick. That guy needs to get punched so fucking bad. I several times I consume his work, I just see him on Twitter and I hate him. He goes around with his bodyguards fucking with people... as far as internet people go, he's 1-1.

Joe Burrow's terrible first pitch was a staged viral marketing stunt by Fanatics

I think that whole fucking fanatics thing was just like, they basically listed like, alright, what's gonna go viral? Let's make a fake viral thing here... And they were like, Joe Burrow, we're gonna pay you like $2 million suck at throwing baseballs. That's the only way I can stomach it.

Within six months, humans will be unable to distinguish AI from reality

My Hot Seat is pretty much everybody on earth. We probably need to come together and realize that we can't tell anymore. No. There's like, and I thought this would be like a decade, 15, 20 years from now. It's, I think it's in the next six months where it's here, it's absolutely finished and there's no need in getting on the internet. 'Cause you have no clue what you're looking at.

Removing referees and umpires from sports would eliminate 50% of the conversations fans have with each other

If you took away all refs and umps from all sports, you're basically eliminating like 50% of conversations guys can have with each other. Like if your team loses, you have to be able to blame a human being.

The NBA Finals don't feel special because there is no 'Finals' script on the court anymore

How do you not have just like a script NBA finals? How do you not have anything, maybe even on the baseline there? It's the same argument I make with the throwback jerseys... When I watch a highlight of this game 10 years from now, I wanna know it was the NBA finals and there's nothing on the fucking court except YouTube TV.

The Stanley Cup and NBA Finals should be scheduled to happen at the same time

What I'm rooting for is for the Stanley Cup and the NBA finals to happen at the same time. Yeah, I, well, around the same time. I don't know how the schedules work out with like how they're set. But I would just prefer to not have one series be over while the other sport is still going on.

We have reached the point where AI-generated videos are officially indistinguishable from reality.

AI is back. 'cause I think half the pod, not just Hank this time, got got fooled with a fake man on the street video that's done using all AI. And we've reached the point where now we can't tell we, we officially can't. Sometimes we should be able to tell, but now I feel like it's just, it's, we're we're fucked.

The ESPN announcing booth of Richard Jefferson and Doris Burke lacks aura and does not suit big playoff games

The booth, the Richard Jefferson, Doris Burke that there's not a lot of Aura. I'm sorry. ... I'm smashing the Aura button on everything now but I'm smashing it there. It don't, we like RJ, I like Doris Burke as a team. It just doesn't feel big game ish. It just, I don't know. It's like, but let Mike Breen just do it himself. It just didn't feel something was off.

Ryan Clark is a psycho for his social media attack on Robert Griffin III

Ryan Clark is kind of a psycho and just went like nuclear on a take about a foul in the WNBA. ... It basically comes down to RG3 had a misdemeanor of being corny online and, and Ryan Clark put him in front of a firing squad.

WNBA players should stay off social media to avoid the toxic discourse

I would imagine that most of the really, really bad shit that you deal with is from people that are DMing you from anonymous accounts... I would just log off, have somebody else run your social media, do your ad deals, do all that shit for you. But don't, I, I would stay off.

Jordan Hudson has appointed herself as Bill Belichick's agent and media manager

It turned out that she had appointed herself Bill Belichick's agent and was the one negotiating with Ben Affleck and Matt Damon... She was the one, or at least she had a very controlling interest in saying, we can't do North Carolina because we're doing that for something else... she was CC'd on every single email at Carolina by Belichick's request.

Remote sports broadcasting for playoff games should be abolished

Abolishing in studio broadcasters. Celtics had it tonight. The two guys were not in the garden... It sounded like a dead arena... that just needs to not be a thing. I dunno how much money it saves. It's good for golf. It's bad for real sports.

Jim Nantz's wallet toast card was actually a prank on a reporter

So the card is a prank, but he does like his Toast Nantz style... Nantz ordered his special brand of toast... I made sure the reporter saw the card and when he asked about it, I said, well that card has saved me a lot of hours.

It is impossible to have airtight rules for Barstool competitions because people will always find loopholes

Whenever we do any bar stool competition of any kind, you could spend a year... going through all the plans, the preparations, the rules, everything. Within one hour, one of us will find a loophole and be like, this is bullshit. It's just, it's, it's impossible.

Seth Davis's 'refereeing is art' take is the dumbest argument ever

Seth Davis though tweeted this about the refs... 'Reffing is more art than science.' I'm gonna disagree with that. I think that's, that makes me want robot s. That's the dumbest argument I've ever heard. If the refs don't call physical play or something that happens in the first half and then all of a sudden they decide that they're gonna call that a foul, that's very confusing for the players.

Pardon My Take will end in 21 years.

I'm gonna retire in 20 years. 20. You have 20 years of Pardon? My Take left... I kinda like walking away in 21 years... 30 total.

I will retire from the podcast in 10 years.

I got 10 more years... I can see myself doing it until your guys age.

Skip Bayless is the biggest loser of the LeBron interview on Pat McAfee

All this to say Skip Bayless was not mentioned once and all Skip Bayless wants to do is get mentioned by LeBron. He's the big loser in all of this.

LeBron's swearing in the McAfee interview made him more relatable

The part that I liked the most was the swearing. It makes him relatable. It was the best swear.

Shohei Ohtani's two-way dominance is more impressive than Travis Hunter's

Shohei Ohtani [is more impressive] because he has done it at the big league level... Ohtani being elite at both levels at the highest level of baseball. If Travis Hunter can be an all pro cornerback and an all pro wide receiver in the same season, get back to me.

LeBron James is one of the best and most gracious interview subjects

I'd say him [LeBron], I appreciate the times that we talk where I think he gives you more than just the, the garden variety. When they [LeBron, Tiger, Jeter] seem like they're invested and actually present in a way that they're—I don't wanna say into it, but that it isn't a chore. That's the best you can hope for.

TV networks must fix scoreboard spoilers that show scores ahead of the live broadcast

I don't understand how it's still an issue... if you're watching four games at once, half the time you see the scoreboard on one game and it will be ahead of the actual game you're watching... figure it out. Don't let it spoil us.

The HBO show 'Hard Knocks' canceled its North Carolina season because fans were calling it 'Tar Knocks'

Do we think that the hit show 'Tar Knocks'—the naming of it—has maybe ended Hard Knocks at UNC?... Somebody from HBO listened to the show and was like, everyone's gonna be calling it Tar Knocks. We can't have this.

The NHL's Four Nations tournament completely outclassed the NBA All-Star weekend

The NHL absolutely bodied the NBA in terms of getting it right and what they did, what they've done with the Four Nations Tournament instead of the All-Star game versus everything that's been going on for the NBA All-Star game. It's not even close.

The NFL cued the NBA during All-Star week by holding the Super Bowl immediately before it

The NBA cued the NFL during Super Bowl week and the NHL cued the NBA during Allstar week. NHL is king.

Pardon My Take fans who play Dungeons and Dragons as Barbarians almost always use the 'Reckless Attack' feature to imitate Big Cat's character, Norm

All the barbarian AWLs, when I run the game for them and I ask them whether they go reckless, they say 'just like Norm.' ... they all want to be like Norm.

The Pardon My Take crew will attend the Gen Con Dungeons and Dragons convention in Indianapolis in August 2025

[Timm Woods]: The Indianapolis one is Gen Con. It is the biggest Dungeons and Dragons convention in the world. And if you guys were there, I could take you on the whole tour. [Big Cat]: When is it? [Timm Woods]: It is in August. [Big Cat]: 100% we're gonna do that. That sounds amazing.

The new Fox score bug for Super Bowl 59 was a war crime and shouldn't have been introduced during the championship game.

Fox bringing out that new score bug for the Super Bowl was a war crime. It was disgusting. It was just insane. Why do networks do that for the Super Bowl? This is something that you need like at least a full year to workshop... I don't know who came up with that, but that guy should be—I don't wanna say fired, but he should be because that was so bad.

Scott Hanson and NFL Red Zone are on the Hot Seat for airing commercials on a 'commercial-free' broadcast

My Hot Seat is Scott Hanson and NFL Red Zone... Their entire tagline for years since the beginning of Red Zone... Get ready for seven hours of commercial-free football. And on Sunday they ran commercials. They were like 30 seconds of commercial... you just completely rug pulled them.

The Meta Quest 3 is significantly better than the Apple Vision Pro

I got the Apple Vision Pro like seven months ago. What a waste of fucking money that was. That was probably the the biggest waste of money I've ever had in my entire life... picked up the Meta Quest 3. That thing rocks... this kicks the shit out of the Apple Vision Pro.

The Simpsons characters are significantly better in 2D than 3D

I did watch the first half of The Simpsons broadcast last night, and I don't know why it took me so long to remember this. The Simpsons are a million times better in 2D. The Simpsons in 3D. Not that fun.

Opting out of the lottery ball should be grounds for losing your job

If you Opt outta a lottery ball, you're opting outta the booth. Is that what you're doing? And then you might be opting outta your job. I don't understand this. Hank is the very definition of grace. You could complain, you could bitch... You can't Opt out.

The Dodgers-Yankees World Series will average 14 million viewers.

Last year, 9.08 million average. I'm predicting 14 million average. Whoa. Average for this one. Whoa. That's, that's what we're talking about. We're talking about ratings.

Stephen A. Smith has the greatest gift of gab in the history of television

He has the greatest gift of gab in the history of television in my view. You just knew right away he's going to let me say that to him. [Stephen A. Smith] is the perfect foil for me.

Bob Costas is horrible at broadcasting baseball and should stop

Bob Costas... He just sounded, he's broadcasting the Yankees-Royals series and he sounds horrible... He has all the money. He doesn't need to do it. I don't get why he chooses to do it.

Adam Schefter will become the Ultimate Insider covering both NFL and NBA

Adam Schefter could be a candidate to replace Woj... In this scenario, Schefter would cover both the NFL and NBA as what a source called the Ultimate Insider... there's nothing you can do when someone says, Hey, you wanna be the ultimate insider?

Al Michaels is at his best when he is visibly annoyed by the quality of football

When Al Michaels is at his best now is when he's annoyed with the quality of football. And he was so annoyed. He gets into surly old man mode very early on in the first half. He was just like, well this is awful. This is terrible, Kirk, get me outta here.

I will not draft Travis Kelce for moral reasons related to his podcast

This is the number one sports podcast. Yes. That's it. There is no other sports podcasts. There will be no talk of that person [Travis Kelce] on this... No Travis Kelce on our team. I love that. Good, good. Take a stand.

The ESPN NBA halftime show is terrible compared to TNT's Inside the NBA

I don't wanna watch [Stephen A. Smith's] halftime show. It's awful. When they go from TNT to him, I'm like, this is the biggest turnaround [downgrade] I've ever seen. ... It's just not good TV to me.

Kevin Warren's chair selection scene on Hard Knocks was riveting television

The scene where [Kevin Warren] was talking about the different chairs... that was riveting television. They're designing suites for their stadium that doesn't exist. And Kevin Warren's making executive choices about whether or not you want a high top chair with a back... these are the decisions that a president has to make.

Connor Stallions would be a massive weapon as a scout for a gambling company

I honestly think that this guy could be a weapon in the gambling space. Have him do one pick a week, go out, scout whatever you want to scout. Unlimited budget. He's a one-man CIA.

John Oliver's monologues are only convincing to people who don't actually know anything about the topic he is discussing

John Oliver's monologues are probably the best in the business. They're unbelievably convincing until he does the one on the topic that you know. ... If he did an NBA one... I'd go 'you're fucked.' ... It's the accent and a great setup on HBO. I can't hang with that.

The leak that Stephen A. Smith might pursue acting is a transparent and unbelievable contract leverage move

There was an article recently about Stephen A.'s new contract and it was like, if they can't figure it out, he may go to politics, he may go late night, or he could get into acting. ... But acting? Because he was on General Hospital a couple episodes? Come on. ... Acting? Come on.

Skip Bayless genuinely believes his own contrarian opinions about LeBron James and Tim Tebow

The one person in the history of the world that thinks that LeBron sucks and Tim Tebow is great... he truly believes that. ... I appreciate how crazy he is. ... what an insane person to have on TV.

Skip Bayless would have found a way to criticize LeBron James's legacy regardless of the Olympic MVP outcome

Skip obviously went straight to Twitter and was like, Steph Curry won the MVP. Right? Yeah. He said LeBron did win the MVP and yeah, skip was like, this is an indictment on LeBron's legacy just perfect spin zone... if Steph had gotten the MVP, it would've been the same video being like LeBron didn't get the MVP and this was his team.

Noah Lyles is the Hater of the Year for his comments on the NBA

Noah Lyles... might have to do that as a Takey Hater of the Year. Because he was the one who before the Olympics said, you don't win a world championship if you win the NBA championship. That's not the world... He definitely got cut playing basketball. He's got some very deep seated anger for any ball sport.

TV reruns are actually actors performing the exact same script live for a second time

I used to think that when you'd watch a rerun of a show on TV, that it was an all new taping of the exact same script... I thought that like, I'd be watching Saved by the Bell... They're doing the same song, but they're just taping it again for us.

Michael Phelps ruined swimming for me because he was too dominant

Michael Phelps ruined swimming for me personally. Because he was so goddamn dominant that, and it happened so recently that I'm watching swimming and I'm like, well, Phelps would've beaten all these guys.

Sports leagues are pricing out fans by fragmenting media rights across too many streaming platforms

This is what the leagues are doing. They're just chopping it up and they're cutting it and they're selling a bunch of NBA to us that we have to buy individually. I feel like that's the real inflation in the United States right now. It's becoming expensive to be a sports fan. They're pricing a lot of people out of watching sports. And that shouldn't be right.