Takes

I lost a $40,000 bet on the Patriots money line in Super Bowl 60.

I did lose $40,000 today. Yeah, it's a lot of money. Dude, that's a car. I could get a sick car with $40,000. I could get a new El Camino with that.

Lindsay Vonn crashes every single time she is hyped up to ski.

I basically, every time they say, Hey, Lindsay Vonn's about to ski... she's gonna crash. I woke up and they were like, Hey Lindsay Vonn competed this morning and she crashed.

Drake May is the worst quarterback in the NFL when facing third-and-six.

Drake May is the worst quarterback in the NFL on third and sixth. And it's not close Since, since he got, where did you get this? Since he got into the league... He's 36th in the NFL... five for 18. 27%. The league average, I believe is 40.

Mike McDaniel was cursed by the football gods for not breaking the NFL scoring record against the Broncos

2023 Dolphins scored 70 points. Mike McDaniel chose not to go for the NFL record at the end of the game. Did not kick a field goal. I believe the football gods cursed him after that moment. The Dolphins went 23 and 25 after that. The Broncos went 32 and 16 after that moment.

Indiana is definitively a better football team than Alabama

My theory going into it was Indiana is better than Alabama in every single facet of this game. In a seven point spread was so disrespectful to the type of team... No, Indiana's turned it... they're just better than Alabama. Like their dudes are better top to bottom.

The 'Haters' were right about Jayden Daniels being injury prone

The haters were right. Congratulations. Jayden's shut down for the season. RG4, injury prone, made out of glass. ... Haters were right. Can't say anything to the haters. Focus on next year.

The Jaguars won't make noise in the playoffs despite Trevor Lawrence's form

Trevor Lawrence has certainly gotten better this year. I'm not too concerned about the Jacksonville Jaguars making noise in the playoffs, so— [Big Cat: 'Oh, okay. So yeah, we do overreact to everything.']

The Raiders are the worst team in the NFL

The Raiders are the worst team in the league. I agree. I know. I do not think that there's a debate for it. They're one of the worst teams like ever. It's crazy watching 'em play.

The James Madison vs. Oregon playoff game is not a health and safety issue

Bud Elliot said that it was possibly a health and safety issue... he was like, I'm worried for the health and safety of JMU playing against Oregon... Stop saying it's a health and safety issue. Okay... fuck it, let's go win the game.

Jalen Hurts without Lane Johnson is statistically identical to 2022 Justin Fields

Blind resume QB one [Jalen Hurts without Lane Johnson]: 17 games, 2,700 passing yards, 16 touchdowns, 13 interceptions, 78.2 passer rating. QB two [Justin Fields in 2022]: 15 games, 2200 yards, 17 touchdowns, 11 interceptions, 85.2 passer rating.

The Chiefs are officially done

I declared them [Chiefs] done on Thanksgiving. I don't think they're gonna do it. Is there anything that you've seen from the Chiefs this year that would make you afraid of the Chiefs in the playoffs?

Michigan is a poorly coached team and Sherrone Moore is a mistake

They are a poorly coached football team in for 2025... they just, they, they're going to a gunfight with a, with a knife. They just can't do it. And Sherrone Moore is, they're wasting their time with Sherrone Moore as the head coach.

The 2025 Houston Texans will be the second team since 2000 to start 0-3 and make the playoffs

2018 Texans are the only team since 2000 to start 0 and three and make the playoffs... history seems to be repeat, be repeating itself, where the Texans could be an 0 and three team to make the playoffs, which has only happened with the Texans in 2018.

Kyler Murray is done with the Arizona Cardinals

I gotta believe that Kyler is done in Arizona. Yeah. Has to be. Right? Yeah. He's the, I assume there's like a line out the door of, of quarterbacks that are like, they'll be the next McVay, right?

The loser of the Chiefs vs. Cowboys Thanksgiving game is eliminated from playoff contention

I personally say eliminated from playoff contention... to the loser of this game. You can't have the number five in the win column at Thanksgiving. You can't do that.

The Broncos are better than the Chiefs right now

Bo Nicks outplayed Patrick Mahomes... The Broncos are better than the Chiefs right now. Like, that's just a fact. And they are a legitimate threat and a really, really fucking good team.

V.J. Edgecombe's NBA debut was the best since Wilt Chamberlain

VJ Edgecombe. Absolute beast. That's how, that's how you rebuild right there... Best NBA debut since Wilt Chamberlain. Wow. It's crazy. It's a crazy stat. Most points in his NBA debut since Wilt Chamberlain... 34 [points] in a win over the Celtics.

I was banned from my fantasy league by a corrupt commissioner

I was canned mid midweek last, last week by some what some are saying is maybe a corrupt commissioner. I was kicked from the league... He just like, sorry, had to drop you and because you didn't set the lineup how you should have set the lineup... The commissioner, coincidentally seventh place. I also wanna say commissioner, coincidentally first guy to make trades with the team.

Aaron Glenn has quit his job as Jets coach

I think [Aaron Glenn]'s quit. I think he's quit. I think he realizes how bad this team is and he's just trying to get games over with, get the first overall pick and then try to get guys in.

Aaron Judge will never be a true Yankee unless he wins a World Series

Aaron Judge has to win. He has to. Aaron Judge will not, he will not ever be a true Yankee... [he] has to win a World Series or else. Not a true Yankee. Probably not even. I'll take him out of the Hall of Fame. I won't vote for him.

Marvin Harrison Jr. will break his first career tackle this week against the Titans

I am on, on tackle breaking watch this week. I think this is the week that Marvin Harrison Jr. breaks his first tackle... Kyler Murray, bad body language. Marvin Harrison, Jr. bad body language... after Sunday... people are gonna start to have that conversation.

The Bears-Cowboys matchup is a 'Gateway Game' that will define the rest of Chicago's season

This is a gateway game. If the Bears win this game... don't be shocked if the Bears are five and four or six and three... but if they don't win this game, none of this matters. They're own three and they just suck.

Ryan Polls' rebuild of the Chicago Bears is a complete joke

The main culprit is Ryan Polls because we are now in year four of a rebuild... it's absolutely abysmal. Year four of a rebuilding they're somehow worse. Ryan Polls has not had a single Pro Bowler drafted. That's pretty crazy.

A quarterback with long hair will never win a Super Bowl

If you have long hair, you can't win a Super Bowl as a quarterback. Never been done.

I turned down hosting The Price Is Right despite a $10 million offer

I get a call out the blue and said, 'Hey, we're interested in having you host Price is Right.' And they said, Bob Barker signed off on you... I just didn't think I could do it well enough. It was $10 million a year [in 1999].

Connor McDavid is currently incapable of winning the big one

I feel bad for [Connor McDavid]. He's an incredible player, but as of right now, I'm just going on the facts that I see — has not won the big one. And I'm not trying to do insult stats, but he's the only captain who's lost in back-to-back cup finals in the last 50 years.

I am the undisputed greatest chess player of all time

I'm not sure I'm the right person to, to ask really, but I don't mind. That's that's completely fine by me... I feel like I'm, I'm getting there. So, that's all I can ask for.

I am currently the best at every single format of chess

At the moment I would say that I, I'm definitely the best at every, at every format that we we play. And honestly, my closest competitors are still the, the old guys, guys around my age. So yeah, the kids, they're good, but they're, they're not quite quite there yet.

Victor Wembanyama will kill everyone next season after training as a monk

I do feel like this is gonna be [Wembanyama] fucks everybody up next season because he's Yeah. He's figured out like secret ancient martial arts.

The winner of the 2025 US Open at Oakmont will be over par

I think based on what I've been reading and seeing on Twitter, like we might have like a a over par winner... I want that. I love that about the US Open.

Alex Ovechkin should not have been on the power play during Game 5

Ovy did not look well on the ice tonight. He looked pretty slow... I almost think that he shouldn't even be on the power play right now. Because he wasn't, he did not look like he was moving around like the Ovy that we saw in the regular season.

Jordan Hudson has appointed herself as Bill Belichick's agent and media manager

It turned out that she had appointed herself Bill Belichick's agent and was the one negotiating with Ben Affleck and Matt Damon... She was the one, or at least she had a very controlling interest in saying, we can't do North Carolina because we're doing that for something else... she was CC'd on every single email at Carolina by Belichick's request.

I gave my NBA MVP vote to Shai Gilgeous-Alexander

I actually voted for Shai. And it was a very, very, very hard vote... The Thunder had 18 more wins than the Nuggets. Right. At some point I don't always vote for the guy who's the highest in the standings, but at some point that matters. Right.

James Harden is the biggest choker in NBA history

Is he the biggest choker? I don't know if it's choker or just Bright lights scares him away guy of all time because at this point it is now four different teams that he's done this with. It is, he's great in the regular season. He can be great in the beginning of a series... But then when the Bright, the lights get the brightest and it's game seven, he's a complete no show. And it's, it's not even, there's not even a debate anymore. I think he is [number one all time].

The NBA should stop the Eastern Conference playoffs because the Celtics are just going to eat everyone

Can we just stop with the Eastern conference playoffs? Can we just not do 'em? Because what's happening is every team is just kind of getting fattened up to get eaten by the Celtics and a delicious snack. Like that's what's gonna happen.

Zach Hampel is the best of all time at ball-hawking and deserves respect for his greatness

Listen, I, I know Zach Hampel's a very controversial, actually, he's not controversial. Everyone just hates him. He's, he's the best to ever do it... When did we stop respecting greatness?... He's literally the best to ever do it. What he does, he is the best of all time at.

It is not gay to take a shower in a gym locker room after a workout

I finally look up, I'm like, is he yelling at me? And he's staring at me... 'bro, what the fuck are you doing? What the fuck is this gay shit, bro, you gonna shower?'... I really do. I love Joey Swoll. Love his content. He's the best. Joey, I need you to weigh in on this. Am I outta line? Should, should. Is it gay as shit to shower after you work out?

Auston Matthews has become 'too Canadian' and that is why the US lost the Four Nations tournament

My takeaway from this game is that Austin Matthews has become too Canadian. And that's why we lost the game. Because he's a Maple Leaf and Maple Leafs never win anything. And we saw that.

The SEC is dead following the College Football Playoff quarterfinals

The SEC is dead. So is buys. Buys are dead. Buys are dead. Buys are dead. The rest first rust has been settled. The SEC is dead. We have three big 10 teams in a big 12 team in the semifinals.

Jerod Mayo should be fired for how poorly the Patriots look

I feel like Jerod Mayo, like he's gotta be fired, right? They were... you're gonna make the same mistake the Bears just made where it's like keeping a bad head coach around for a young quarterback is not a good thing.

Chris Ballard should be fired by the Colts

Chris Ballard. ... Since 2017 there have been seven winners of the AFC South. ... The Indianapolis Colts have won it zero times. It is the most combustible division that you can win year to year. And Chris Ballard's teams have not won it a single time. ... His teams just fall apart.

Any quarterback who loses their first Super Bowl appearance never returns to the big game

The curse of Jim Kelly is a curse that just hit the internet... essentially it's any quarterback that goes to a Super Bowl and loses their first one never goes back to the Super Bowl. Jalen Hurts did that... Stan Humphreys, Neil O'Donnell, drew Bledsoe... Joe Burrow. Jalen Hurts. Brock Purdy.

Doug Gottlieb is doing a bad job coaching Green Bay and should spend less time on social media

Jesus, Doug, a seven game losing streak in the last place in the Horizon League. Less time on social media, more time in the gym... I think he's, has he won a game in December... He's doing things like his way... sat [his best player] for the entire game even though they can't win a game right now.

Jerod Mayo feels like a puppet for Robert Kraft

I've always kind of said [Mayo] feels like a puppet for Craft... the Kraft family would bring back Jerod Mayo and his staff because they do not want to admit a mistake.

The 49ers aren't actually good; the Bears are just that bad

I don't think the 49ers are good. I just think the Bears are that bad... [Niners 38, Bears 13] That game sucked. The Bears are a joke. They're so bad... just same garbage team, same garbage start.

There has never been a worse coach in close games than Matt Eberflus

It was obvious that it had to happen because there's never been a worse coach in close games than Matt Eberflus. Like I think that statistically actually is proven true. The timeout is, so obviously Caleb [Williams] deserves some blame for it, but... the second there's any hesitation, it's like 80/20, Matt Eberflus's.

Justin Tucker is officially washed

Justin Tucker though, he's washed. He actually sucks. You actually need to cut him. I think if you were [the Ravens]. It went from a sure thing... to a very big issue.

Travis Hunter should be a -5000 favorite to win the Heisman

I mean it should be like Travis Hunter minus like 5,000. If everything what PFT said is correct... it's something we've never seen before.

The Bears should fire Matt Eberflus immediately after a Thanksgiving loss

They should fire him after we get embarrassed by the Lions. Because at this point I know the Bears have never fired a coach in a hundred years history in Midseason at this point. You should honestly tell Caleb like, Hey we fucked up with Shane Waldron and Matt Eberflus our bad. We're firing him right now.

It wouldn't surprise me if the Commanders miss the playoffs

I said out loud, it wouldn't surprise me if we [the Commanders] missed the playoffs. Because we're not playing—we were a 10 and a half point favorite during this game.