Takes

JJ Redick's coaching experience is basically limited to being a fourth-grade volunteer

Everyone [is] talking about JJ Redick's coaching experience [being] fourth grade volunteer. That was a bad graphic they showed... fourth grade volunteer head coach.

UFC 303: Conor McGregor vs. Michael Chandler is in serious jeopardy of being canceled

There was supposed to be a scheduled press conference for UFC 303 that got postponed on Monday... It's not looking great for UFC 303 unless this is all a work. [McGregor] is on the Hot Seat.

Jared Goff is no longer a bridge quarterback after proving everyone wrong with the Lions

When the trade happened, everybody was saying like, they're gonna use Jared Goff as a bridge quarterback. Now he's he's not a bridge. ... it felt like there was Yeah, when he got traded for the Rams, it's like, oh, his career's over and now he's he's proven everyone wrong.

A wrist injury has turned Josh Hart into a lethal three-point shooter

Josh Hart said when he took a half court heave to end the second quarter... he felt his wrist click and it almost clicked back into place. Said he went to Brunson at the half and told him 'I can shoot threes now.' It is basically the plot from Rookie of the Year... Josh Hart is now just a lethal three-point shooter because his wrist clicked.

Caitlin Clark is going to increase WNBA revenue enough to improve rookie salaries

The WNBA draft, the all the rookie wages getting tweeted out and everyone's like, what the fuck? It's like, well, this is what Caitlin Clark might be able to fix. She might be able to improve things a little bit.

The Chicago Sky are going to play 'bully ball' with Kamilla Cardoso and Angel Reese

Angel Reese and [Kamilla] Cardoso... in the last year, the two of them have shot five total three pointers. Bully ball. Just rebound. We're going just bully ball. Everyone's shooting the three, we're just gonna fucking pack the paint and just have some beasts down there.

Charlotte the stingray is not actually pregnant

Now they're doing a bait and switch news story... I don't think this bitch is pregnant.

The Celtics are lock for the NBA Finals

Celtics are in the finals.

Fanatics MLB jerseys are complete pieces of shit

It's starting to bother me now that I'm watching a little more baseball. Just like not being able to read the pitcher's jersey. And it seems like every single night there's a new example of the jerseys just being pieces of shit.

The NBA investigation into Jontay Porter for prop betting irregularities is a bad look

My Hot Seat is Jontay Porter. Raptors center is under an NBA investigation into irregularities on his prop betting involving him. There was a couple times where he basically started a game, took himself out because of a eye injury. And on those games there was a bunch of action on his prop bets. Unders... This is bad.

JJ McCarthy will not be drafted second overall

I don't think he's [JJ McCarthy] going second overall... there's a lot of like misinformation that gets put out there this time of year.

Aaron Rodgers might run for Vice President with RFK Jr.

Aaron Rodgers might run for Vice President... He's being considered and is considering the opportunity right now. Mr. Kennedy confirmed on Tuesday that the two men [Rodgers and Jesse Ventura] were at the top of his list.

Charlotte the stingray is not actually pregnant; the aquarium is lying

Charlotte the Stingray still hasn't given birth. It's fucked up. I don't think that she's actually pregnant. I still think it was a lie. I've been on stingray watch for the last three weeks; that bitch ain't pregnant.

UMass moving to the MAC is great for 'MACtion' and weeknight football

My cool Throne is Mion, we're getting more Mion because UMass is getting added, which means more games back... more weeknight football eventually.

Notre Dame will never get higher than a 5-seed in the 12-team CFP

If Notre Dame is the best team in the country, they get the number five seed. [Because] the four highest ranked conference champions will be seeds one through four.

Justin Fields is probably going to get traded by the Bears

Justin Fields did unfollow the Bears. I don't think it's, I think he's probably gonna get traded. So that's what's, like I said, I mean it could mean literally anything.

Andy Reid will never retire because he has no hobbies except football and cheeseburgers

Andy Reid, who is not gonna retire. This is all he does. I'm trying to get Andy to play golf. I'm trying to get him to go hunting. He just won't do it. Andy Reid also has a bucket list... it's just eating in different countries. My prediction, they win the Super Bowl, he probably goes to France. Eats his way through France.

Caleb Williams is 'popping' because he already has dedicated haters before the draft

If you ain't got no haters, you ain't popping... So Caleb Williams is popping... The anonymous scouts are going off about Caleb Williams... saying things like, you remember he paints his nails? ... These are all big red flags. Nah... if there's Caleb Williams, I would be more concerned about the guy who doesn't get any negative press.

Tristan Thompson took cheap steroids intended for physical appearance rather than performance

Tristan Thompson... Got busted for steroids... I went immediately to my number one source of steroids in the world that I know named Billy Football. And he said the craziest thing is that he was taking Broke Boys steroids. Oh. Stuff Frat Boys and Talkers used to bulk up... He was doing it for the look, not for the functionality.

I am officially in on the Bears drafting Caleb Williams and trading Justin Fields

The Bears take Caleb Williams. Yes. Number one. I'm in. I'm also officially in. I just wanna say that I'm, I've, I've done a lot of soul searching. I, especially the Mel—Mel's like, oh, we can get a first for Justin Fields. Let's just do it.

Lifting weights is significantly more effective for getting in shape than cardio

It's crazy how don don't know when we learned this as like kids what point we're like, oh yeah, to get in shape you gotta run. That's so wrong. Like cardio. Okay, fine... Dude. Lifting weights is the best way to get in shape. 'cause you just feel stronger and you start, your metabolism goes, it feels good.

I don't believe for a second that Lions fans actually booed Matthew Stafford's daughters

Kelly Stafford came out and said that Lions fans booed her four little daughters. She's since retracted. But that was a crazy lie... no one's like to say that your daughters got booed is insane. I stand with Lions fans. There's no way... unless you show me a video of a Lions fans pointing at the daughter and being like, 'see you little girl, boo.' No chance.

I'm out on Boeing airplanes until the safety issues are addressed

Boeing airplanes... had an explosive decompressor at 16,000 feet... So if it's, I don't know what kind of flights we have planned soon. But if it's Boeing, I ain't going. I'm out. I'm out on Boeing anytime soon.

NBA officiating in the Celtics-Pacers game was 'very questionable' after reversing a clear foul

Last night against the Pacers... Jalen Brown had a game tying shot attempt that they call the foul. They reviewed the tape, he clearly got hit in the head. They reversed it, gave the pacers the ball back... very questionable. Very, very questionable.

Oregon is going to destroy Liberty in the Fiesta Bowl

17 points is not nearly enough points. They're so strong... They're way bigger than Liberty. So I'm hammering Oregon this weekend.

Betting against the Miami Hurricanes in cold-weather bowl games is the easiest bet in sports

Miami just having to play in a cold weather city is like the easiest bet against every single year in Bowl season. Rutgers just wanted it way more.

Billy Football will be fired if the Uganda football team fails to score a touchdown in their rematch against Kenya

Billy will be fired if he comes back and... they scored no touchdowns once. Billy will be fired if they don't score a touchdown. That's, it's not even that they don't score... if they come back and they lose 40 to three Billy's fired, they have to get a touchdown.

The NCAA's new compensation rules will create a major/minor league divide in college sports

The NCAA is putting forth a new... regulation... so that certain colleges, any college as a matter of fact can contribute up to $30,000 a year... once this gets into place, it's gonna be like the major leagues, right. Of college sports. Yes. And then everybody else is the minor leagues if this actually ends up happening.

Nikola Jokic is the best player in the world

Yoic. Did you know that He leads the NBA in points, rebounds, and assists right now. Jesus. It's fucking insane what Yoic is doing. He's so good. I think, I feel like we're in the trap of not appreciating how great Yoic is. Yeah. He's the best player in the world.

The Blue Jays should be eliminated from the Shohei Ohtani sweepstakes for leaking their meeting

It came out that Shhe... visiting with the Blue Jays. And I think by Sho Hays rules, the blue Jay should be eliminated. See you buddy. See you. Blue Jays. What?

The NBA In-Season Tournament is a success

My Cool Throne is the NBA in season tournament because it kind of rocks... It was an awesome crowd. The crowd was awesome... I was critical at first. It didn't make sense in the beginning, but now that it's more organized... I'm a fan.

USMNT coach Gregg Berhalter stinks and should be fired

My Hot Seat is Greg Berhalter. Ooh. The coach of the US men's national team out. He should be out. Yeah. Hot Seat Greg. He lost to Trinidad in Tobago. Can't do that... He stinks. We brought him back. He doesn't get along with any of the best players on the team. Fire Greg. Fire him.

Jayden Daniels is the only logical choice for the Heisman Trophy

I had Jordan Travis actually as my Heisman Trophy winner, but I don't think that you can give it to him now. So you have to go to [Jayden] Daniels. Jaden Daniels would be the only logical choice.

Eagles vs. Chiefs on Monday Night Football will be the highest rated game of the season

I'm gonna say Eagles Chiefs Monday Night Football is going to be the highest rated game of the season moving forward. Ooh. Also there's a potential of [Taylor Swift] appearing.

Mark Davis invented the 'muff' style hand warmer

Mark Davis invented the hand warmer. The owner of the Las Vegas Raiders. Mark Davis developed the Muff in 1986... for use by professional football teams. And that year, Davis began to market them for the fans. It's the muff style hand warmer.

The Paige Spiranac bobblehead night saved the Brewers' season

The Paige Spiranac Bobblehead completely turned around the Brewer's season... on June 16th, the Brewers hosted the Pirates... they were 34 and 34. They beat the Pirates that night... and they wound up winning the NL Central with a record of 92 and 70. And they were 58 and 36 after the Paige Spiranac Bobblehead night.

Dabo Swinney is cooked because he refuses to embrace the transfer portal and NIL

Clemson though, done. Dabo. It's so bury—so great. Burying Dabo. Bury him... Dabo is not a likable guy. You had your run. And it does—it is kind of nice. If Dabo didn't say all the stuff about NIL and transfer portal, I, I would feel a little bit worse. But he's so resistant to change when college football has so drastically changed in the last five years.

Jim Harbaugh's self-imposed three-game suspension is a genius move to avoid missing the Texas game in 2024

Jim Harbaugh, Michigan self-imposed a three game suspension on him. Genius. Genius Moves. So he misses all the out of conference games... Michigan was like, okay, tell you what, you pressed our hand. We'll go as far as three games. Well, I mean it would, I would guess... they're playing like no one. It's at all the, at a conference stuff.

College football is headed for a Big Two conference structure

Geographics do not matter in college football anymore. We're headed for the big, big two. Maybe big three... I don't know why we don't just do, we should just do NFL model and just have divisions... The big, the big 10 and the s e c of the conferences.

The massive Jalen Brown and Jayson Tatum contracts will look like great deals in five years

When [Jalen Brown] is making $68 million in four years, it still will be a lot of money. But if we have two or three rings, it's worth it. In five or 10 years, when Jalen Brown and Jayson Tatum are only 30, it's gonna look like two great deals because the cap is going up.

Bill Belichick is officially on the hot seat with the New England Patriots

My Hot Seat is Bill Belichick. Literally. There's a report out... from Tom Curran... he said 'You talk about avoiding the Hot Seat Rich, he's on the Hot Seat and he's been there at different levels of warmth since 2019.'

The passengers on the missing Titanic submarine are likely already dead

They're dead. This is one of those situations that it's captivated the internet because they keep being like, they have 50 hours of oxygen... they died. It's probably better that they died almost instantly. I would imagine they did. You don't, something bad happened and the sub broke and they died.

The Buffalo Bills' dynasty is on the Hot Seat following Stefon Diggs' absence

My Hot Seat is the Bills Dynasty. Stefon Diggs no-showed for off season training program. They asked McDermott about it and he said he was concerned about it.

Novak Djokovic is the undisputed greatest tennis player of all time

Djokovic won the French Open. He has 23 Grand Slams. He's the greatest tennis player of all time... He is the greatest. And I can't wait to win more... feels good to be vindicated that I was right all along.

I am buying Blackhawks season tickets because of Connor Bedard

I watched a highlight video. There's like a 20 minute highlight video I was watching and I did buy season tickets. I hope everyone here likes to go to hockey games. Cause we're gonna go to a lot of hockey games. I got swept up. I mean he looks, I, I know there's a lot of pressure on him, but he does feel like a can't miss guy.

Bill Belichick trading back in the draft just to spite the Jets was a brilliant move

The Patriots traded that draft pick to the Steelers because they knew that the Jets wanted to take Broderick Jones... They even got less than they should have gotten from the Steelers because they wanted to move that pick so badly... specifically so they could fuck the New York Jets. That's brilliant.

Five straight days of playoff football in January is the best schedule ever

College football playoff announced today 2024 and 2025... Semi-finals would be played on Thursday and Friday of super wild card weekend... Saturday, Sunday, Monday. Five straight days of playoff football.

Bar managers will be completely lost on Week 1 of YouTube Sunday Ticket

They are going to have to figure out how to get YouTube on all their TVs at once. And they, they are gonna be completely lost week one of next year... Bar owners week one. It's gonna be a shit show.

Nick Saban's 'wrong place, wrong time' comment was a direct shot at Nate Oats

Nick Saban has just suspended freshman defensive back, Tony Mitchell... and Nick Saban said everybody's got an opportunity to make choices and decisions. There's no such thing as the wrong place at the wrong time. Seemed like a direct shot at Nate Oats for using the wrong place, wrong time excuse for Brandon Miller.

Roger Goodell is actually awesome at his job despite everyone hating him

For everything that he has hated for and he's hated for a lot... he does an incredible job. It's like he was designed in a lab just to absorb blows and make a shitload of money for the NFL. And he's done both, like basically the best you could possibly do.