Takes

The Paige Spiranac bobblehead night saved the Brewers' season

The Paige Spiranac Bobblehead completely turned around the Brewer's season... on June 16th, the Brewers hosted the Pirates... they were 34 and 34. They beat the Pirates that night... and they wound up winning the NL Central with a record of 92 and 70. And they were 58 and 36 after the Paige Spiranac Bobblehead night.

Dabo Swinney is cooked because he refuses to embrace the transfer portal and NIL

Clemson though, done. Dabo. It's so bury—so great. Burying Dabo. Bury him... Dabo is not a likable guy. You had your run. And it does—it is kind of nice. If Dabo didn't say all the stuff about NIL and transfer portal, I, I would feel a little bit worse. But he's so resistant to change when college football has so drastically changed in the last five years.

Jim Harbaugh's self-imposed three-game suspension is a genius move to avoid missing the Texas game in 2024

Jim Harbaugh, Michigan self-imposed a three game suspension on him. Genius. Genius Moves. So he misses all the out of conference games... Michigan was like, okay, tell you what, you pressed our hand. We'll go as far as three games. Well, I mean it would, I would guess... they're playing like no one. It's at all the, at a conference stuff.

College football is headed for a Big Two conference structure

Geographics do not matter in college football anymore. We're headed for the big, big two. Maybe big three... I don't know why we don't just do, we should just do NFL model and just have divisions... The big, the big 10 and the s e c of the conferences.

The massive Jalen Brown and Jayson Tatum contracts will look like great deals in five years

When [Jalen Brown] is making $68 million in four years, it still will be a lot of money. But if we have two or three rings, it's worth it. In five or 10 years, when Jalen Brown and Jayson Tatum are only 30, it's gonna look like two great deals because the cap is going up.

Bill Belichick is officially on the hot seat with the New England Patriots

My Hot Seat is Bill Belichick. Literally. There's a report out... from Tom Curran... he said 'You talk about avoiding the Hot Seat Rich, he's on the Hot Seat and he's been there at different levels of warmth since 2019.'

The passengers on the missing Titanic submarine are likely already dead

They're dead. This is one of those situations that it's captivated the internet because they keep being like, they have 50 hours of oxygen... they died. It's probably better that they died almost instantly. I would imagine they did. You don't, something bad happened and the sub broke and they died.

The Buffalo Bills dynasty is on the Hot Seat following Stefon Diggs' absence

My Hot Seat is the Bills Dynasty. Stefon Diggs no-showed for off season training program. They asked McDermott about it and he said he was concerned about it. Very concerned about it.

Novak Djokovic is the undisputed greatest tennis player of all time

Djokovic won the French Open. He has 23 Grand Slams. He's the greatest tennis player of all time... He is the greatest. And I can't wait to win more... feels good to be vindicated that I was right all along.

I am buying Blackhawks season tickets because of Connor Bedard

I watched a highlight video. There's like a 20 minute highlight video I was watching and I did buy season tickets. I hope everyone here likes to go to hockey games. Cause we're gonna go to a lot of hockey games. I got swept up. I mean he looks, I, I know there's a lot of pressure on him, but he does feel like a can't miss guy.

There will be a massive tick population this year due to the mild winter

We had a very mild winter. There's a lot of ticks. The winter didn't kill the ticks. There's gonna be a lot of ticks. Tick-borne diseases are no joke. Be careful out there. Do tick checks. Get a buddy, get naked.

Five straight days of playoff football in January is the best schedule ever

College football playoff announced today 2024 and 2025. ... Semi-finals would be played on Thursday and Friday of super wild card weekend. ... Saturday, Sunday, Monday. ... Five straight days of playoff football.

Bar managers will be completely lost on Week 1 of YouTube Sunday Ticket

They are going to have to figure out how to get YouTube on all their TVs at once. And they, they are gonna be completely lost week one of next year... Bar owners week one. It's gonna be a shit show.

Nick Saban's 'wrong place, wrong time' comment was a direct shot at Nate Oats

Nick Saban has just suspended freshman defensive back, Tony Mitchell... and Nick Saban said everybody's got an opportunity to make choices and decisions. There's no such thing as the wrong place at the wrong time. Seemed like a direct shot at Nate Oats for using the wrong place, wrong time excuse for Brandon Miller.

Roger Goodell is actually awesome at his job despite everyone hating him

For everything that he has hated for and he's hated for a lot... he does an incredible job. It's like he was designed in a lab just to absorb blows and make a shitload of money for the NFL. And he's done both, like basically the best you could possibly do.

The Celtics own the Sixers and it's frustrating

We would get smoked. The Celtics just fucking own us and it's so frustrating. I just fucking hate the Celtics so much.

Victor Wembanyama is going to be out of this world good

Charles Barkley has come out and said he doesn't know if [Wembanyama] will be good because he's gotta see him play the physical nature of NBA basketball. This means he's going to be out of this world good because Charles Barkley... is kind of stuck in the past... talking about the Golden State Warriors that went on to win four titles shooting jumpers.

Tennessee and UConn are my two picks to win the College Basketball National Championship

College basketball. It's back. I always flip the page. I put a future on Tennessee and UConn. Those are my two teams. So I did that after the national championship last night... Those are my two teams.

Short people are crucial for conserving food and resources on our dying planet

Being short is better for the future... Not only do shorter people tend to live longer, but they're also crucial in conserving food and resources on her dying planet. The short are also inherent conservationists, which is more crucial than ever in this world of 8 billion. So basically if we were 10% shorter, we would save 87 millions of tons of food per year.

I will take Liver King back if he admits he used steroids and was just trying to recover from injury

If he just says like, yeah, guys, I'm 50 years old... I needed this stuff to like, you know, come back. Like if he basically does the, I was injured and I wanted to get back with the team real fast. Like, if he does that, I'll take him back. I'll be like, what? Fuck it, dude. Like at least you're honest now.

Sam Bankman-Fried is the latest Bernie Madoff

My hot seat is crypto in general. Sam Bankman-Fried from FTX is the latest Bernie Madoff right now. It's been in the news. He had I think about $40 billion and now he has $0 because his entire platform went bankrupt.

Ben Simmons will be one of the most hated and mocked players on the internet this season

Ben Simmons is back and he's shooting basketball... It's gonna be awesome when it's like a Thursday night primetime game... and he just misses a shot. And the whole, like this is now this we're we're looking at one of the most universally hated guys on the internet... There's not a lot of defense for Ben Simmons.

Russell Wilson is identically copying Tom Brady's social media videos

Russell Wilson has just completely ripped off his [Brady's] post game videos like identical. And it was it. I mean, it's so Russ it's so Russ and for doing it for a 16, 9 win against the Texans was even better. Everything was, was exactly identical going from the, the intro, the different cuts, the type of filters, the music.

Robert Saleh taking 'receipts' on his haters is a dangerous game that will only make the mocking worse if they lose

Robert Saleh went in front of the media on Monday and said... 'we're all taking receipts on all the people who continually mock... and I'm gonna be more than happy to share them with all of you when all is said and done.' ... I will put myself down as a receipt. He can, he can absolutely come back and dunk on me when the jets become a super bowl team. But yeah, that was he he's, he's taking receipts... if they're not good this year, he could get fired. And if they're not good next year, he definitely will get fired. So yeah, those receipts, it's tough to say that.

Will Zalatoris made a deal with the devil to win one tournament and his injury is the cost

I'm nervous that he made a deal with the devil and the deal with the devil was let me win one. That's what I'm nervous about. And I bet on him last week to finish top 10... I'm nervous cuz it feels like the timing is [predominant].

The Falcons do not have their quarterback of the future on their current roster

I think the Falcons don't have their quarterback of the future on the roster right now.

PGA Tour Commissioner Jay Monahan overplayed his hand and had zero leverage against LIV Golf

He also overplayed his hand. Yeah, of course. And everyone's like, yeah. Okay. You know what? You know, what's better than, than winning. The fortnight challenge is getting a hundred million guaranteed. So Jay Monahan just needs to be like, listen, I fucked this one up. I'm firing myself... It's a classic case of really overplaying your hand and thinking that you had all the leverage in the world when you actually had zero.

NFL Blitz without delayed hits is like porn without nipples

NFL blitz is back. There's they're selling it without delayed hits though. Which is stupid... It's basically selling porn with no nipples. I'm a big time like go woke, go broke guy. Yeah, no one's gonna buy NFL blitz minus late hits. That's the only reason.

Shohei Ohtani is on one of the most irrelevant franchises in professional sports

Show Otani has been incredible... And he just completely lost by being on like one of the more irrelevant franchises in all professionals. Like Anahi, there's no reason that nobody cares about Anaheim, right? Like they are a big market. Kind of, they stink.

The NFL purposefully scheduled Christmas Day games to screw over NBA markets

NFL is game, right? They did it so that each market is fucked by the NFL... Celtics, Sixers, Nicks, sons nuggets, Lakers, Mavs... Packers are playing bucks. They just fucked. It's it's so great. They just like, oh, here are your top teams that you're gonna use for Christmas day. We're gonna steal 'em.

Colin Cowherd knows exactly who PMT is and is doing a bit by pretending not to

He is now going on seven years of the running gag of pretending he doesn't know who we are... he described me as a standup comedian, big guy, big physical presence. And I like, at this point I respect Cowherd for doing this because he is so committed to it... for him to pretend he doesn't know what the number one sports podcast is. I actually tip my cap. Like it's funny.

The Derek Jeter documentary will be boring because athletes produce their own content

Documentaries that are made by the people just suck... When you have you need to have a neutral third party director for these documentaries or as they're all like the same... Derek Jeter's going to do that thing where he's like you guys, I was famously private... now I'm going to, and it's just not going to be anything.

Nuclear-powered 'air cruises' are fake and would definitely crash

It's a plane cruise. Yeah. It's like a massive, massive, massive, bigger than whatever name like four aircraft carriers... 20 electric engines powered by nuclear fusion. I'm just going to say this. If this is real, I will absolutely laugh when it crashes and everyone dies. There's no way to test fly this until you actually make the real thing.

Pirates shortstop O'Neil Cruz is the most electric player in baseball

This guy might be the most electric player I've ever seen in my life. 6'7" he's a shortstop. He ran 31.5 miles per hour. Hardest throw by an infielder in Major League Baseball this year, he threw a ball from shortstop to first 96.7 miles per hour. I am buying all my stock and O'Neil Cruz right now.

Patrick Mahomes is already underpaid

When I first saw this, I thought like, Patrick Mahomes is already kind of underpaid. Oh yeah. So he signed that $500 million contract. What, two, three years ago. And it's crazy to say with a $500 million contract, but if you look at what the other big money being spent around the league is going to right now, it's like, you could very much make the argument that Patrick Mahomes should not have signed that deal.

Indianapolis is the best city for the NFL Combine and it should never move

It is the best city for it. We, they should never move it from Indy. It's perfectly set up for it.

The Arizona Cardinals' Hard Knocks season will be fun because the team will fall apart

The beginning of this, the hard knocks will be all cheery and awesome. And then everything will fall apart and it will be fun to watch.

Coach K's $14 million salary proves he was never 'just doing it for the kids'

Coach K... it was revealed that he made $14 million last year... It proves yet again, what coach K said was true when he was, you know, flirting with the NBA. And he said, the allure of coaching in college has no price... He shouldn't also pretend that he's like getting paid nothing. And he just is there for the kids. I have no problem with him making 14 million. I have a problem with him being like, I'm just here for the kids. I do this shit for free.

EA Sports FIFA is dead because of the rebranding to EA Sports FC

EA Sports and FIFA are dead. 2023. It's been rebranded as EA Sports FC.

It's impossible to tell if Hugh Jackson was intentionally throwing games or just being Hugh Jackson

The NFL just conducted an investigation to Hugh Jackson's claims that he was paid to throw games and they concluded that. No, it's literally impossible to tell whether or not Hugh Jackson was intentionally losing games or if he was just being Hugh Jackson... there's not a jury in the world that would convict him of doing anything intentionally.

Reds fans should defecate in the Toyota Tundra at the stadium to protest the owner

A Reds fan posted yesterday saying... 'I will be scaling the wall to defecate in the bed of the Toyota Tundra.' I just liked that Reds fans are fighting back. This is how you fight... maybe it will make people go shit in their trucks.

Dan Snyder is finished as an NFL owner because he took money from other owners

I think Dan Snyder has done. I think that motherfucker is done... it's been proven through the other books that have been released now, the documents that have been sent to Congress, that he was taking money out of the pockets of Jerry Jones out of all the other owners. And if there's one thing like you can have 40 sexual harassment claims against you. If you take money from the other owners, that's when they're going to do something about it.

Elon Musk's involvement with Twitter will be good for trolls and memes

I think [Elon Musk] just going to make it easier for trolls online. I think he likes trolls. He likes memes. He likes trolls. I think this is good for us. Happy to see old Elon getting on board.

Ken Griffey Jr. is still the sixth highest paid player on the Reds

The reds are on my cool throne, because they're, if you look at their salary this year, they have a hall of Famer as their six highest played player... Ken Griffey Jr. So yeah, the reds are, anytime you get a guy who's been in the hall of fame and retired for like 15 years as your sixth highest paid player, he's getting paid like $4 million till 2024.

Billionaires should pay for their own stadiums

The Bills are getting a $1.4 billion new stadium. It's going to be right next to their old stadium, all paid for by the public... Billionaires should pay for their own fucking stadium.

The Lakers are 'packing it in' and LeBron isn't trying on defense

The Lakers are so bad. It's awesome... LeBron... just doesn't try at all on defense. He's very close to packing it in... I watched the first quarter last night they were down 33 to 12 in the first quarter.

Coach K blocked Tommy Amaker from the Duke head coaching job to protect Jon Scheyer's career

There's a report coming out a new book that Tommy Amaker was going to be named next head coach of duke... and coach K got on a zoom with them and essentially said, I can't have you taking this job because that would set John shier back in his career. So we want you to take your name out of consideration and out of respect for coach K Tommy Amaker realized that this job search thing was apparently he had been offered the job already until coach K stepped in.

The MLB season will inevitably be delayed due to lack of progress in labor meetings

The MLB and the Major League Baseball Players Association made little progress in their latest meeting, and a delay to the upcoming season feels inevitable.

Tom Brady is going to retire after this season

Tom Brady, Tom vs. Time... for my personal takeaway, it seems like he's gone. She [Gisele] deserves what she needs from me as a husband and my kids deserve what they need from me as a dad... from right now where I stand, I feel like he's gonna walk.

James Harden is unhappy living in Brooklyn

James Harden is upset. This is going well. I fucking love the Nets—they're going to Kevin Durant's hurt, Kyrie plays half the games. And I saw the quote... James Harden doesn't enjoy living in Brooklyn, not just because of the climate, but also the state income tax is different than Texas.