Takes

White is the combination of every single color

white is a combination of every single color out there so they [the Packers] actually had the most colorful uniforms people didn't realize that

Cleveland and Milwaukee are equal as cities

I mean, they're pretty similar, like smaller cities, easy to get around, no traffic, which I like. Power rank them? They're like equal. Equal right now. 1A, 1B.

LeBron James is indestructible

I think he's [LeBron James] indestructible. No one's indestructible. I think LeBron is indestructible.

Mississippi State will beat Kentucky 31-28

Mississippi State 31, Kentucky 28.

The Cubs are not dead

The Cubs are not dead. We're not panicking. But they did get the shit kicked out of them by the Dodgers in L.A. Not much else to say. Rich Hill was fantastic. You just got to wait for the bats to come alive.

Aaron Rodgers is the best quarterback in football along with Tom Brady

What about Aaron Rodgers? No, he's the best. Nothing wrong with him? No, he's the best. He doesn't have the weapons, guys. Come on, he does not have the weapons around him... if you're asking me if there's one quarterback in the league, I think he's the best quarterback in football right now. Him and Brady.

We have officially run JJ Watt off the internet

How long has it been since J.J. Watt tweeted? 20 days. 20 days since J.J. Watt has tweeted. We have officially run him off the internet.

The Jaguars-Bears game was legitimately one of the worst NFL games ever played

Legitimately one of the worst games I've ever seen. No, it really did [take the fun out of football]. Watching it, I was like, I don't even know why I like this sport.

The Dodgers are a weaker team than the Nationals

The Dodgers are coming to Wrigley Field. I do think the Dodgers are a weaker of the two teams. Slash, I didn't want to see Daniel Murphy again.

The Patriots will kill the Bengals in Week 6

I have the Patriots. Larry didn't pick that, but I think they're going to kill the Bengals.

Wi-Fi signals should be stronger on planes because you're closer to space

Wi-Fi come from signals in space, right? Yes. So how come if you're in the plane, shouldn't the signal be stronger in the air? I agree. Yeah, no, that's a good point.

The Giants' bullpen was destined to blow up eventually

The Giants blew a record amount of saves this year. Their bullpen was shaky all year. They were going to blow up at some point.

Arizona Green Tea is the #1 non-alcoholic drink

My power rank for, number one, Arizona, the Great Buy Green Tea. The 99 cent, the big tall boy.

Philip Rivers is one of the most underrated players in the NFL

Philip Rivers is, I would say, one of the... I think he's one of the more underrated players with what he can do. He's a pretty amazing quarterback.

The Red Sox will beat the Indians in five games

I actually don't really know what's going to happen with that series, but I do know that people from Boston seem to be very confident that the Red Sox are never going to lose. ... So I got to go with that because I haven't heard anybody from Cleveland sound confident about anything.

The Patriots covering against the Browns is the easiest bet of all time

Patriots. Yeah, we know you're going to take the Patriots. It's not even bias aside. All bias aside, you can take my bias, put it to the side of me. The Patriots is still the easiest bet of all time.

The Bears will cover +4.5 against the Colts because Indianapolis is jet-lagged after playing in London

I have the Bears. Plus four and a half... the Colts is not a bad choice... They're jet lagged. Yeah. Exactly. First team ever to go to London and not elect to have a bye week after.

The Dodgers will beat the Nationals in the NLDS

Who do you have in the Dodgers National Series? I have the Dodgers. Even though Kershaw? What about Kershaw? He's fine.

Sports teams should stop using bird-related nicknames

Can we just call it a day with all the fucking bird team nicknames? I think we've hit our limit. They're not intimidating. It's like somebody asked them for a name and they look up and see the Blue Jays, the Orioles. Just knock it off with the bird team names.

Pizza is not a good lunch food because it makes you fall asleep

See, pizza's not good for lunch. I'm just going to throw that out there. When you're eating lunch, my main goal is to just not eat so much that I want to fall asleep. And pizza will always do that to me.

A soup and half-sandwich combo is a 'power move' lunch order

My first one is soup and a half sandwich combo. That's actually a power move. It's a really good lunch. Not enough people order it.

Jeff Fisher has at least two games of security before returning to the hot seat

Cool throne, Jeff Fisher. He's got at least two games before he's back on the hot seat.

At least five teams in the league right now could easily win the Super Bowl

I'll name them right now. These are the teams that I think easily could win the Super Bowl this year: New England, Pittsburgh, Denver. Now, Minnesota could win the Super Bowl. Green Bay could win the Super Bowl. Philadelphia could win the Super Bowl. Have you seen their defense play? They've allowed 27 points in three games.

October is the best month of the sports year.

It's October. Best month of the year. Sports year by far. It's the only month where all four major sports will be in action. You got the MLB playoffs. You have all of rivalry weekends coming up for NCAA football. And NFL is starting to really cook.

Andrew Luck gets a pass for mistakes because the Colts' offensive line is atrocious.

I'm done making fun of Andrew Luck. That's the worst offensive line I've ever seen. He was running for his life the entire time. I'm actually going to give him an active pass and let him know that it's okay. You can fuck up because that offensive line is atrocious.

My batting average for making Lorne Michaels laugh was around .300

My batting average with Lorne was probably... in baseball we're talking about baseball batting yeah that's batting right baseball yep um i probably would say i was in the 300 area okay yeah yeah i did pretty well he liked a lot of my stuff

I can bench my own body weight

What do you bench? I can bench about 170 maybe. Oh, what do you weigh? About 170. Oh, man. Okay. I can bench me.

LSU will look like a completely different team under Coach O

I think you're actually going to see a lot of stuff, a lot of different stuff from LSU when they take the field Saturday night against Missouri.

A sprain is worse than a break

Sprains worse than a break. People forget that.

The Sam Bradford trade was a win for both the Vikings and the Eagles

I was the biggest winner because I said that it was a great trade for the Vikings and a great trade for the Eagles because the Eagles can now start Carson Wentz, who I believed in, and the Vikings now have Sam Bradford as a higher ceiling than whoever they were going to start.

The Vikings have the best defense in the NFL

But seriously, though, the Vikings look awesome. Their defense, I mean, best defense in the league. Probably.

Mississippi State will beat UMass 35-14

I still think Mississippi State gets the W, but I think it'll be closer than the experts think. I'm going 35-14.

The Chicago Bulls have the only logo in the NBA that has never changed

The Bulls logo. Here's a fun fact for you, Hank. The only logo in the NBA that's never changed. And it's got blood on it, too. People forget. It's got blood on the horns.

NFL Media should prioritize getting the All-22 film and Game Rewind up on time for 'film grinders'

Can we please get the All-22 and the Game Rewind up on time? There are a lot of people out there that like to sit and grind film on a Monday morning or a Monday afternoon.

The Panthers and Cardinals will meet in the NFC Championship game

I'll put Cam Newton back in the Super Bowl just because I'm boring like that. I think maybe Arizona would be my fourth team. Give me that NFC championship right there.

Alabama will beat Ole Miss because their defense isn't good

I'm going Alabama. I think they get it done. Yeah. I'm not sold on the Ole Miss defense at all.

Rams-49ers was the worst NFL game of the year

It was probably the shittiest game. I'm just going to say it. It was the worst game I've ever seen in the NFL in the last year.

The Chicago Cubs will win the 2016 World Series

I'm happy for you that in about a month from now, you're going to be celebrating a world's championship on the north side... It's impossible to fathom you guys not getting to the World Series. And then from there, momentum will carry you through.

Trevor Siemian is the perfect Northwestern quarterback because he is bad but okay

Trevor Siemian, not that bad, but also not that good. Kind of like perfect Northwestern quarterback. He reminded you that he's Trevor Siemian, but then he made a couple of throws that were okay... He was bad, but he was also good.

The next Larry the Goldfish will survive for at least two or three days

I think this next Larry is going to survive for a while... I think there's a lot of things we can do differently with this Larry that will make him live for at least two or three days.

Sam Bradford better simulates what Teddy Bridgewater would have done for the Vikings than Shaun Hill

Sam Bradford, the thinking is, I believe better simulates what Teddy would have done if he would have been able to play. I don't know that Bradford can get there... it's going to be an uphill climb, but when things settle down, they're going to be better off with Bradford than they would be with Hill.

Mentioning that Pablo Escobar dies in Narcos is not a spoiler because it is history

Pablo Escobar dies. And people are mad at me about it... Can you spoil history? ... I say that, yes, you can spoil history if it's a part of history that not enough people know. ... No one forgets that Pablo Escobar got shot and killed.

Wisconsin is the mediocre pushover neighbor of college football

Wisconsin's never back. They're never gone. They're just there. We literally are just like the neighbor who you can be like, hey, can I borrow your lawnmower and just not give it back for three months? And you know he's never going to come ask. It's a total pushover.

Jay Cutler has a true gunslinger mentality that leads to extreme volatility

Jay would come out in the first half and sometimes throw four or five touchdowns, and then something would happen, and he'd throw four or five picks in the second half. So whatever that switch is that gets flipped, man, once it goes, he just starts firing the ball all over the place. But that's what makes him great. He's the true gunslinger mentality.

The Arizona Cardinals will win the NFC West

NFC picks out west. I've got the Cardinals. I like Bruce Arians. I feel like everyone's played with Bruce Arians at some point.

Trading Sam Bradford for a first and fourth-round pick was a great deal for the Eagles

The Eagles, great trade for them. Any Eagles fan that's upset by this, I really don't know what to tell you. You just traded Sam Bradford. You weren't going to go to the playoffs, and you got a first and a fourth round.

The selfie is the new autograph

I don't really do a lot of autographs. I do a lot more pictures. I think I've had more pictures taken by me in the last year than anybody. The selfie is the new autograph.

LSU does not have a good quarterback and will continue to struggle passing the ball

Turns out LSU doesn't have a good quarterback. Oh, you think? No doy. The 10,000th year that Les Miles has a quarterback that can't throw the ball.

Alabama will lose at least one game due to a brutal road schedule at Tennessee and LSU

The other top three teams in the SEC are LSU, Tennessee, and Ole Miss, and they play each of those three on the road. So it's a brutal schedule for Alabama... I'm going to say the two toughest ones are Tennessee because Tennessee is on the road... and then, of course, the LSU game.

Northwestern will hit the over on 6.5 wins

Northwestern, six and a half. I'm going to go with over... I'm going to have to go with over the six and a half.