Takes

I have a good chance of winning a major in 2021

I think I got a good chance [to win a major]. I like, I feel good so yeah i'll be ready don't worry.

I am 100% confident I could beat up Darren Rovell

Listen, I'm going to beat the shit out of Darren Rovell. If you were to ask me, name one person in the world that I'm confident that I could beat up, it's Darren Rovell. I don't think anybody in the world couldn't kick Darren Rovell's ass.

Darren Rovell should have to delete his Twitter account forever if I beat him in a fight

I will kick his ass. If he agrees to delete his Twitter account, I want to wipe them off the face of the internet. I feel like I am, I'm fighting for not just myself, but everybody that's had to wake up to Darren Rovell, tweeting out a video in 4k of JFK getting his skull blown off.

Darren Rovell is only challenging PFT to a fight for the engagement and would weasel out of a real match

My first thought when I saw him say he would fight for $2 million is that Darren Rovell would get in the ring and literally sprint around for three minutes straight... And then as everyone called him a coward, he'd be like, whatever... I'm $2 million richer. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Tom Brady has more Super Bowls than 18 NFL franchises combined

Tom Brady has more Super Bowls than the Bears, Jets, Saints, Rams, Seahawks, Eagles, Bills, Vikings, Bengals, Panthers, Falcons, Chargers, Titans, Cardinals, Browns, Lions, Texans, Jaguars combined. That's 18 teams combined. More than half of the league, and he has more Super Bowls than those 18 teams, 18 franchises combined.

The Patriots were holding Tom Brady back

You do have to ask if the Patriots were holding [Brady] back, Hank. You get him and Gronk into a system that centers itself around making plays between your quarterback and your tight end, and all of a sudden he's blowing teams out, blowing out one of the best quarterbacks of all time, Patrick Mahomes, in the Super Bowl.

I would not bet the under on Tom Brady winning more than 7.5 career Super Bowls

He's now three years, two years later, and he just won another one. And he could do it again, and he's still going to come back. And I wouldn't bet on the under [on 7.5].

Antonio Brown will be arrested this summer

Antonio Brown is going to get arrested so hard this summer. It's going to be like the summer of Lindsay Lohan for him. Unbelievable.

Todd Bowles is an underrated defensive coordinator

Todd Bowles, very underrated. He got mentioned a lot, so maybe he's properly rated now. But he was incredible this entire playoff run because the Bucs' defense... They played at such a high level in the last four games.

Patrick Mahomes' matrix incompletion was one of the best Super Bowl passes ever

He made the three best passes in this game. He made a matrix pass. Maybe three passes that would be the best passes of all time. ... The hipster reply in 10 years when someone's like, quote tweet this with the best Super Bowl pass you've ever seen. Yeah, I saw it. Didn't count. It was actually a turnover on downs. Hit his receiver in the face.

The Travis Kelce drop in the Super Bowl was a designed lateral play

I actually think that there was a chance it was a designed lateral play, and [Kelce] thought like a half second ahead of time. I might be completely wrong about it, but that's the first thing that popped out to me.

Patrick Mahomes will have surgery on his foot

I think [Mahomes] is probably going to have surgery on that foot. ... The turf toe reared its ugly head a little bit. I'm serious. He was not able to scramble effectively.

Devin White should have been the Super Bowl MVP

Devin White should have been the MVP, I think, of this game.

HD cameras in sports broadcasts are now too realistic to handle

The HD cameras have gone too far. ... Something about the new HD cameras is just too much for me. I can't handle it.

Bears GM Ryan Pace constantly bids against himself in negotiations

Some of these reports about the Bears treating a fucking first, maybe even two first-round picks for Carson Wentz, no one out-negotiates themselves quite like Ryan Pace. There's nobody else that's bidding that high. Anywhere close to that high. He bids against himself.

The San Francisco 49ers are a great value bet to win the next Super Bowl

I'll tell you what my pick is. San Francisco 49ers 14-1. ... I'm just looking for a team with a good coach, good defense. There's tons of injuries [this year].

Jason Pierre-Paul should retire now to protect his perfect Super Bowl record

[JPP] probably should retire. Walk away, otherwise it just becomes, you're going to lose it. You're going to put it down like a cell phone and walk away.

The hosts are starting a strict 'no carbs' diet for February

Tomorrow, we're starting our diets. ... No carbs for the month of February. ... If you see a carb in my mouth, slap it out. Serious. Except for Saturdays. Those are cheat days.

The Vince Lombardi Trophy should be renamed the Tom Brady Trophy

Vince Lombardi only won one. You're so greedy, Hank. It's true. He won one trophy. He won one Vince Lombardi trophy. Tom Brady's won seven. Like, come on. ... It's a crime that the championship trophy isn't named after Tom Brady.

Brooks Koepka is officially back

Brooks Koepka. Bruxy is back. He went lights out today.

Duke will opt out of the rest of the college basketball season

I would be shocked if Duke plays the rest of the season. They're going to opt out for sure. They might opt out like halftime when they're down by 20.

I am going to buy an albino cobra

Bro, I went down to Florida, and I'm about to buy an albino cobra. ... Dude, they can ship it. ... [I'm] not going to bring COVID back [to the office].

I will spend my Rough N' Rowdy winnings on Dogecoin

So, Billy, what are you going to spend the winnings on? ... Dogecoin.

If Tom Brady wins a 7th Super Bowl, he is officially the greatest athlete of all time over Michael Jordan

If Tom Brady wins the Super Bowl, is he then the greatest GOAT of all time? ... they're saying, like, that would put him over Jordan. And I do think that that counts.

Secretariat is the greatest of all time

Secretariat. Well, exactly. Secretariat. It's got to be. American Pharaoh. It has to be Secretariat.

Super Bowl 55 is a game where you should hammer the live over and the live underdog

I'm going to bet the over, but this is definitely a game, most Super Bowls are like this, where the first quarter is a little bit slow. This is a live, hammer the live over game. It also is, I have the Chiefs, but if the Bucs go up or the Chiefs go up early, I think it's going to be somewhat of a close game at the end... so it's also hammer the live underdog game.

There will be over three and a half field goals in Super Bowl 55

I'm taking the over for field goals. Over three and a half field goals.

I'm betting the over on a half-interception for Tom Brady in the Super Bowl

Tom Brady over a half of an interception. So he's got to throw one. I think he's going to throw – I think Tom Brady's going to play well, but I also think he's going to take his shots.

Tails never fails on the Super Bowl coin toss

I usually go with tails never fails. ... It's tails. I'm betting tails. There you go. Tails never fails.

The Gatorade dumped on the winning coach of Super Bowl 55 will be orange

I'm hearing orange. My sources have told me orange... I'm hammering orange.

I am betting the biggest bet of my life on the Buccaneers to win the Super Bowl

You're going biggest bet of your life on the Bucs responsibly? Yep. I packed the vest. That's all you need to know. ... The man of vests is in the building.

The National Anthem for Super Bowl 55 will go over the allotted time

I'm betting the over on [the National Anthem]. If you bet the under, then that's very anti-patriotic. You're a terrorist if you bet the under in the National Anthem.

The Chiefs defense has the advantage over the Buccaneers in the Super Bowl because of their speed

I'm going to say the Chiefs defense. ... very few defenses are going to be as fast as this Chiefs offense. ... I think the Chiefs defensive backs match up better from an athletic standpoint against these Bucs receivers. ... I give the slight advantage to the Chiefs because of complexity and because of who they're facing.

Marshall Faulk was both the best and most important player on the Greatest Show on Turf Rams

If there was one guy that changed the complexion of everything that we did, it was Marshall Faulk. ... he was such a distinct mismatch. ... he was, A, the best player on our team. So he was the best player, but he was also the most important.

The current Kansas City Chiefs are the closest thing the NFL has seen to the 'Greatest Show on Turf' Rams

I would [say the Chiefs are the closest thing]. And probably the closest thing that we've seen since the greatest show on turf. And the reason I say that is just because the ability to attack down the field... they scare defenses. They make defenses play on their heels. And that's exactly how we played.

The Chiefs' tendency to 'get too cute' with play-calling is actually a benefit that keeps defenses off balance

I ultimately think the two cute works in their benefit way more than then it's a negative... down inside the 10 yard line, they are so great at doing special, unique, different things... that creativity is a bigger benefit than it is a negative.

The modern NFL is not full of great quarterback play despite inflated completion percentages

I still don't believe that the league is full of great quarterback play. And so you have to be able to delineate the two... there was 18 or 19 quarterbacks that were completing the ball at a rate higher than than I did the years that I led the league... numbers get inflated and it looks like teams are playing better or quarterbacks are playing better because of the rules. But when you really break down the quarterback play, it's not necessarily as good as we've seen at times in the past.

The Chiefs will beat the Buccaneers by double digits in Super Bowl 55

I am going with the Chiefs in this one. ... I will say that it will be a double-digit win for the Chiefs. ... I will put the Chiefs as mid-30s and the Bucs probably kind of mid-20s. ... 60-some, 65-point range.

I will beat Billy Football easily in our Rough and Rowdy fight

He's going to beat you? Yes. Would you like to put a side bet on that? ... Five grand that I beat him easily. ... If he runs from me, I'm not going to chase him.

I'll fight all three of you tomorrow at the same time — MMA rules

How about if I fight all three of you tomorrow? At the same time. But we do MMA. How's that?

Everyone in their mid-30s should be on steroids/testosterone therapy

I think everyone should use it at our age, for sure. ... Recommended by doctors with a prescription. That's how you should be using it.

Alex Rodriguez is a piece of shit and a liar

A-Rod, you know what I'm talking about, you piece of shit. ... He's a scumbag. I don't like that. He was cheating on Jennifer Lopez. ... I was there when it happened.

I'm a six-four, 270-pound genetic freak — women want to breed with me just for the kids

She wanted to have, you know, my daughter's supermodel. So I breed super kids, obviously. I'm six foot four, 270 pound super athlete. So I'm a genetic freak. So I have, I've had plenty of women wanted to breed with me just for the kids.

Barry Bonds belongs in the Hall of Fame

Barry Bonds. Of course. ... there are probably 10 in the Hall of Fame right now that use PEDs. A couple I injected myself. I won't mention who they are.

I ran a 4.29 40-yard dash back in my prime

I ran a 4.29 40. That's 30 years ago.

I shot my own finger off because I was cleaning four guns at once

Cleaning four guns at once. Very quickly.

I have never benched over 225 pounds in my life

I've never benched over 225 pounds. [Maybe] 40 times, but... I don't know.

I'll take a dive tomorrow if you guarantee me A-Rod in the ring

If you guarantee me I can fight A-Rod here in Barstool, I will take a dive tomorrow. That's how bad I want that punk bitch.

Would have hit 760 home runs if he stayed healthy

Now, if you would have done my home runs per bat ratio over a 24-year-old period, I would have had 760 home runs if I would have stayed healthy.

Big Cat and PFT are just little intern peons — Hank is the real boss

Hank is the boss, people. Jake is the boss. These two are just a little intern peons. And I'm talking to these guys.