Takes

The NCAA Football video game series is far superior to Madden because of its option plays and quarterback run mechanics.

The college football game, it's so much better for me than the Madden game because of the option part of it and QB run.

If a defense makes three stops in the Alabama-Ohio State title game, they will win

I think if a defense makes three stops... It's got to be a punt or a turnover. Three stops, I think, wins this game.

Nick Saban and the Alabama defense consistently struggle against tempo offenses and dual-threat, mobile quarterbacks.

It's always a running quarterback that gives Alabama Nick Saban fits. It's a tempo offense, and it's a quarterback who's a dual guy that can create and do some things with his legs. ... That's Justin Fields.

The Cleveland Browns will beat the Chiefs in the divisional round

I think that the Browns are going to win too. I really do... so I feel like the Browns, this could be the year for them.

Philip Rivers will struggle against the Bills because he stinks in cold weather

Philip Rivers playing in temperature under 32 degrees, 1-5 all time. I'm really just going off of closing my eyes, thinking about a 29-degree day, thinking about Phil Rivers wearing 16 pairs of long johns and turtlenecks, and him trying to climb the pocket and pass the ball to the far hash, and it just not getting it.

The Colts only win if Jonathan Taylor rushes for over 225 yards

If there's a way that the Colts win, it's by Jonathan Taylor running for 225 yards. But barring that, if he gets under 200 yards, then the Bills will win. Every single time Jonathan Taylor has rushed for over 210 yards in a game, the Colts win.

The Buffalo Bills are the most complete team in the NFL

The Bills, weeks 1 through 9, they were 24th in defense, and then weeks 10 through 17, they are 6th, and they are giving up 20 points a game. Flip the switch. They are the complete team.

The Washington Football Team is the definitive team of destiny in the NFL

I've taken [the Washington Football Team] off my team of destiny big board just because they're so far head and shoulders ahead of every other team when it comes to their destiny. They are by far the team in the NFL that has had the lowest COVID cases this year... we're the healthiest.

Teams with an 8-8 record or worse are a lock to cover in Super Wild Card Weekend

Teams that are 8-8 or worse have covered seven straight wildcard games. Teams that are 8-8 or worse have won four straight wildcard games... the last four times the team has gone in with 8-8 or 7-9, and everyone says, how could this team ever win? They have won.

Tom Brady struggles in night games because he goes to bed too early

Tom Brady... One in six last seven night games. One in six last seven night games, nine touchdowns, eight interceptions. If you don't think this guy goes to sleep at 7 o'clock every night, you're crazy.

The Bears have no chance against the Saints because of injuries and overall talent

I'm being realistic. I do not think the Bears are going to have a chance in this game. Partly because of some of the injuries. Roquan Smith being out will be very bad... Jalen Johnson being out will be very, very bad secondary-wise. They're just not that good.

Drew Brees is the most washed player in NFL history

Drew Brees... I probably think he's the most washed person of all time.

Grit happens when Nick Foles enters a playoff game

Nick Foles, just weird shit, grit happens when Nick Foles comes into the game in the playoffs... Nick Foles might be the best playoff quarterback of all time.

Josh Allen is better than Patrick Mahomes right now

Josh Allen... He's legitimately playing the best football right now. So, you know, I'm sure some people – I might take him over almost anybody but Aaron [Rodgers]. I might take him over Mahomes right now in this moment.

Brian Daboll will be hired as a head coach after this season

He's [Josh Allen] going to get Daboll hired, man. Brian Daboll is going to get it. That dude is a dude's dude, and I know that him and Josh are really tight, and he's absolutely going to get a really good job off this.

Arthur Smith's success is tied to Derrick Henry and teams should be careful hiring him

There ain't no Derrick Henry anywhere else in the league right now. So if you're in this hiring cycle, I would be careful. I would just be careful if you're looking for an offensive mind. [Arthur Smith] has done a tremendous job there, but... Tannehill, though, has taken full advantage also.

Roughly 21% of NFL players are on performance-enhancing drugs

I would say probably five to seven different types of things. Oh, yeah, 20, 21%. Just stuff.

Greg Williams' practice style stunted Sam Darnold's development

The things that Sam [Darnold] sees on the practice field from Gregg Williams will set a quarterback back years. You remember when Sam Darnold said 'I was seeing ghosts'? Well, part of that, that's part of the process, and I'm not blaming it on Gregg, but there needs to be a progression. You can't bring a young quarterback on with all that stuff going on.

Kyle Trask's facial hair makes him look like a mediocre 6th-inning reliever, not a franchise quarterback

If you were scouting this crop of quarterbacks, Kyle Trask's facial hair is a huge negative. That is not a franchise quarterback. That is a... like a 6th-inning reliever. Maybe a long reliever. Not a good reliever, I'm talking about a guy who comes in when someone gets shelled.

The NFL should let Bill Belichick or Nick Saban coach the Browns for their playoff game

The real solution, and I'm being dead serious on this: they should just be like, 'Bill Belichick can coach the Browns this week.' Wouldn't that be the greatest entertainment to be like, 'Okay, let's see how great of a coach you are, Belichick.' You show up, five days to prep the team. Browns fans would absolutely take it.

The Browns are a team of destiny because the Super Bowl is the anniversary of their mascot dog Swagger's death

I got a little sliver of hope for Browns fans. And that's that you are a team of destiny... the Super Bowl is being on the one-year anniversary of Swagger's death. Their dog died a year ago on the exact date of the Super Bowl... Swagger one laid the foundation for Swagger two to come in and turn the Browns into a winning team. One year later, I feel like they get that team of destiny vibe.

JJ Watt's heartfelt apology to Deshaun Watson was staged for the cameras

My Hot Seat is the Texans camera crew... JJ Watt and Deshaun Watson were sharing a heartfelt moment of JJ Watt apologizing to Deshaun Watson and he said, 'I'm sorry we wasted a season for you.' And a fucking camera guy caught it... he's got to be pretty embarrassed about that because that's something that, you know, between teammates... or else everyone's going to know what a great dude you are.

UConn is the real 2020 National Champion for opting out of the season

My Hot Seat is Alabama and Ohio State. They're playing in the national championship on Monday, but they aren't the national champions... the University of Connecticut, because they were the first football subdivision team to squarely face the coronavirus and decided against playing a single snap during a raging pandemic, should be our 2020-21 national champ. They are the real champions.

The 'COVID issues' at Ohio State are just a cover for Justin Fields' bruised ribs

Stay woke: they have COVID issues [at Ohio State]. Does it happen to be somewhere around Justin Fields' ribs? ... An extra week would help those bruised ribs. So I would say in terms of a punctured lung, calling it a rib issue... I feel like it would help.

Dana White is going to honey-pot UFC streamers with virus-infected links

Dana White says he has a special surprise for anyone who pirates his UFC... I bet he is going to send out a bunch of troll links... all infected with viruses. So he makes people scared. It's like a landmine.

I am retiring on my terms (sort of)

For me, unless a super enticing offer comes down the pipe... as far as me in my career and where my family's at, man, I couldn't be more happy and content and satisfied with my journey... and this is the end of the road. I wanted to just let it be known that I'm going to go out on my terms and call it a career... Well, the paperwork hasn't been final filed as of yet.

The 1951 NFL single-game passing record is fraudulent because of how yards were measured back then

I feel like yards were not the same distance back then. It was just some guy in the back of the end zone stepping off feet as best as he could. [The record] is bullshit.

This 2020 Packers squad is the best Green Bay team in a decade

One of the words that was brought up last year a lot with this Green Bay Packer team was 'soft.' ... but they have seemed to remove that the last six weeks of the regular season... To me, this is the best Green Bay Packer football team probably in a decade.

Akiem Hicks is the most important player on the Bears' defense

When Akiem Hicks isn't being absolutely dominant in his position, drawing all kinds of attention, Khalil Mack isn't the same guy. He's getting too much double teams, too much attention from offensive coordinators to really be impactful this year.

The Bills and Chiefs are the biggest threats to the Packers winning a title

I think the teams truly to worry for the Green Bay Packers are in the AFC. I think it's the Chiefs with their ability to score really fast. And I think it's the Buffalo Bills because Josh Allen somehow grew a hose in the last offseason and can throw the ball at any point in time.

Snapchat will eventually be used to blackmail future politicians

I think Snapchat is going to have a huge blackmail on future politicians... You have a bunch of dumb 14-year-olds and teenagers and stuff, and then in the future they might be important people and there's a whole cloud of data... I think there will be a scandal that happens in the next 20 years where a Comcast or a major internet service provider just gets hacked or they release a bunch of documents and it's just everybody's search history and internet history.

Tom Brady is 1-3 against the NFC East in the playoffs and we are the best division at beating him

Tom Brady [is] 1 and 3 against the NFC East in the playoffs. You might recall we're the best division against Tom Brady. So I said before the game, I was going to wait for the giants. If the football team lost, I want to open up the bandwagon.

The Eagles players have to be pissed at Doug Pederson for throwing the game by benching Jalen Hurts

I would be pissed if I was an Eagles player. Oh. And because the Eagles player like, what does an Eagles player care? What if they're going to move up three spots in the draft, but the time of the player that you draft is going to be like, Oh, a really good player. You're probably be retired or on a different team.

The Baltimore Ravens are officially the team that no one wants to play in the playoffs

Starting with the Ravens Bengals the Baltimore Ravens. We said it last week. They are the team officially. No one wants to play. They got their swagger back. Five straight wins, 525 yards, 404 yards rushing.

The Bengals will be a .500 team within a couple of years.

Hey, Bengals fans. You'll be fine. This will work out as good as you could hope for a Bengals team to work out for you. And you'll be at, you will be 500 within a couple of years.

If you are playing basketball past the age of 30, you should never jump.

If you're going to play basketball past your thirties, don't jump. I never jump when I play basketball, just stay on the ground box out and stay on the ground. Low man wins. That's it. That's the tip for everyone out there. Don't jump.

Tua Tagovailoa has bust tendencies and the Dolphins should draft a quarterback at number three

To [Tua], I think it might be a bust. Well, he has, he has bust tendencies right now... You're not going to be back in the top three for a long time. Take the quarterback and Tua still has a ton of value. Like if you want to trade Tua, I bet you can get a second round pick for him at least.

The Buffalo Bills are a wagon and will play in the AFC Championship game

The Bills are a wagon... I like the Bills. One of the Bills we're going to go to the AFC championship game. They just are. I'm not getting to the bills are gonna play in the AFC championship game.

NFL teams should prioritize drafting quarterbacks who look like "little baby weaklings" when they get sacked to draw more roughing the passer penalties.

When you're evaluating a quarterback and you're evaluating the strengths and weaknesses of a quarterback, you should put in the strength column: 'Does he look like a little baby weakling when he gets sacked?' ... Kirk Cousins, he turtled and was like, 'Oh, help please. Someone help me.' It was a routine sack, but I think that's actually a benefit. If you're trying to scout a quarterback, can your quarterback look like they're getting beat up by a bully when they get sacked? And if so, bump them up a little in the draft.

Tom Brady stinks in prime time and starts sundowning at 7:00 PM

It's going to be a night game, Tom Brady. Let's talk about it. And he starts sundowning at seven. My theory. Yep. He can't. He stinks in prime time.

The 49ers should trade for Matt Ryan; it makes a hell of a lot of sense.

Are they going to trade Matt Ryan? Cause this is Matt Ryan on the 49ers makes a hell of a lot of sense. ... I just know that would obviously make a hell of a lot of sense because of Kyle Shanahan and like that's, it feels like the 49ers were snaked with injury all year and that could be an instant bounce back.

Aaron Rodgers is the MVP and lives to kick the shit out of me and the Bears

I hate [Rodgers], but I also will at least say he's the MVP and guess what? He's fucking good. And he lives to kick the shit out of the Bears in the city of Chicago and me. That's just the fact.

The key to beating the Saints in the playoffs is to 'hurt' Drew Brees just enough to get Jameis Winston or Taysom Hill in the game, but not 'injure' him.

If you knock Drew Brees out of the game, you can win the game. If you hit Drew Brees, you can win the game, if you don't injure him badly. ... You need to hurt him, not injure him. Then you get like the 60% Drew Brees that is not as good as the 100% Taysom Hill.

I am genuinely worried that the Packers are going to the Super Bowl.

The Packers, guess what? They're good. This year they're better. I do think their defense is better. I'm worried about them going to the Super Bowl. I'm just, I'm just give me a chance. Give me a chance later in the game where Marquez Valdes-Scantling has to make the catch and he will not.

Kliff Kingsbury is a big-time fraud and I'm revoking his offensive guru card

Kliff Kingsbury. He waved the white flag on the entire season. Like they actually could of made the Playoffs. This was, it was delivered to them on gold platter. Like you were playing John Wolford... This was, this is the biggest indictment on, on Kliff Kingsbury that he's ever produced thus far. This game was his masterpiece explaining to everybody else. What we saw on him, which was big time fraud.

The Rams are a dangerous playoff team and would be a bad matchup for the Saints.

I'm excited for the Seahawks-Rams game because I do think the Rams, they're a good team and they're a good coached team and they have a good defense. I think they're going to be a hard out. If they beat the Seahawks... they play the Saints; they'd be a bad matchup for the Saints.

Every team in the NFC playoffs except for the Bears and Washington can win the Super Bowl

I actually would contend that everyone except us can go to the super bowl... outside of the bear's in the Washington football team... there are no frauds in the NFC Playoffs except for the Washington football team and the Chicago bears.

Derrick Henry should be in the MVP conversation after rushing for 2,000 yards

Derrick Henry should be in the MVP conversation. It's Aaron Rogers MVP, but he should at least be considered because the last running back to when an MVP was 2012, Adrian Peterson who ran for 2000 yards.

Matthew Stafford belongs in the Hall of Fame for his stats and his reputation as the toughest guy in the NFL.

This is why Matthew Stafford should be in the Hall of Fame. His resume is not going to be based on playoff wins, cause he has none. It's going to be based on stats, overall touchdowns and being top five in passing all the time, and being super tough. He's the toughest person to ever exist in the NFC North.

Notre Dame has a ceiling because they can't recruit elite five-star quarterbacks like Alabama

The craziest part about Notre Dame is Notre Dame is like at its ceiling... they only, the only thing that Notre Dame can can do, I think to, to actually get over this Hill is they need a Trevor Lawrence or a Tua or Joe burrow. Like they need one of those crazy elite quarterbacks.