Takes

The Whataburger Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit is the best breakfast sandwich in America

Big time honorable mention to Whataburger Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit. Yes. Best breakfast sandwich in America. People forget Whataburger, not the best thing on the menu, is not burgers. It's the Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit. And it is incredible.

Wade Phillips is a Fortnite guy who actually wears the gear and plays the game

Wade Phillips... he's definitely animated. He's into Fortnite as well. From what I know, he does play. I've never seen him play, but he definitely has got the gear, sweatshirts, T-shirts and all.

I hate Sam Bradford and Aaron Rodgers most among quarterbacks

Probably most well-known is Sam Bradford because he went number one over me. But Aaron Rodgers is for sure up there. [Bradford]'s a good player. He's obviously done it for many years... but it's always enjoyable to get sacks and interceptions off of him.

Texas should not have had the final second to kick the winning field goal in the 2009 Big 12 Championship

They definitely shouldn't have had an opportunity to kick that field goal. Things happen for a reason... still don't know what that reason is for that particular situation... it was a little controversial to say the least.

The Aaron Rodgers stomp was actually his own offensive lineman's fault for pushing me

That situation was interesting because if you go back and look at the play, I was actually tussling with one of his offensive linemen who pushed me and stepped back on him. If you really look at the situation, it was really his old lineman's fault. And that's their job to protect him. So they didn't protect him.

The firing of Jim Caldwell in Detroit was mind-boggling

That was a funny situation, especially for a guy being so successful and being one of the winningest coaches for the Lions... biased, I'm a huge fan of him. Had a tremendous year underneath him. So a little mind boggling with that situation.

Hiring Scott Frost was a great decision that should have happened three years ago

Great decision. I wanted it to happen three years ago and actually voted for it... I suggested it, for lack of a better word... Scott Frost has the mechanisms and the – I would say he's cut from a good cloth to be able to do it.

Jared Goff is untouchable and one of the few quarterbacks I actually like

Goff is untouchable. He's our good friend. Goff is a good dude. Actually, he's one of a few quarterbacks I actually like. Him and Cutler are on the same page.

James Harden should turn the Scottsdale phone-throwing incident into a cell phone carrier commercial

Dude, every time something like this happens, if you could just figure out a way, if you're James Harden's agent, just create a commercial instantly making fun of this. Do a sprint commercial where you're just grabbing phones out of people's hands, throwing it, then handing them a sprint phone. And everyone would be like, oh, that's funny.

Tiger Woods means more to the sport of golf than any other athlete means to their specific sport

The Tiger effect is very real. I mean, we knew this was going to happen, but it just goes to show, like, I don't think there's ever been someone who's meant more to one specific sport than Tiger Woods to golf.

The Central Time Zone is the undisputed best time zone for sports fans

The Central Time Zone is by far the best. The problem with everyone who's like West Coast is the best because 10 a.m. football... 10 a.m. is too early. Noon is objectively the perfect time to start a football game... and Monday night football ends at like 11 o'clock. My ranking of time zones goes Central time, mountain time, west coast, east coast.

The East Coast is better than the West Coast for watching sports

I like East Coast better than West Coast actually... Noon is objectively the perfect time to start a football game. [On the West Coast] it doesn't feel like a big game if it's Sunday night football and it's still light outside. You should get a Purple Heart if you watch sports in the Eastern Time Zone.

Tiger Woods is officially back because he is contending in majors again

The Tiger's back crew that I despised for many years, the 2014-15 Tiger's back because he, you know, finished top 10 in a stupid tournament in Bermuda. That sucked. Now he's back because he's actually finishing second. I think he shot like six under today. He had that tiger stalk. He's back.

Tiger Woods actually won the British Open and the PGA Championship on aggregate

He actually won the British Open and the PGA Championship on aggregate. His score from those two tournaments were the lowest of any professional golfer. So Tiger Woods, [is a] two-time back-to-back major title holder if you add it all up.

Brooks Koepka is better than Tiger Woods was at his peak

Koepka is better than Tiger Woods was at his peak, right? He's bombing his driver. Tiger at his peak... No, I just think he's underappreciated. All he does is win majors.

Brooks Koepka's lack of popularity is because his name is hard to pronounce

Because his name is hard to pronounce. People just don't say his name. That's what I'm saying. I always just avoid names I can't say. So I just don't ever say his name... It's like, bro, I don't know how to say his name. So I'm just not going to look dumb.

The Bellerive course was a sickening disgrace to the PGA Championship

Sickening showing by the course this weekend. Disgusting. Lowest, I think, score in a PGA Championship... I'm disappointed in you, St. Louis. Yet again. Lock up the course.

These new microphones officially make us look like douchebags

We look like fucking idiots with these new mics. I mean it sounds better I think so it looks like cool... but I do feel like we are officially douchebags. This is now official... like just close your eyes and be like the douchebags who have a podcast, this is what they do.

Little League sound bites will soon become fake and self-aware, ruining the magic

Do you think there will be a point where these kids become a little self-aware and start doing this? Because Big Al is, like, so beautiful because he's genuine. But we're going to get to that point where they're going to try to start making sound bites and stuff, and it's going to ruin it.

Jalen Ramsey's suspension is actually a great treat for him because he gets to sit in the air conditioning

That's why Jalen Ramsey was so smart to get suspended. True. That's a great treat for him. For going after the media. Yeah. Got to keep us in check.

Mike Tomlin has officially lost control of the Steelers

So my who's back is Mike Tomlin losing control of his team. Because like you just alluded to. This tweet, a fan dressed in pads and a helmet made it past security and tried to take part in some drills at the beginning of today's practice. What kind of fucking training camp are you running Mike Tomlin?

Allagash White is my number one micro-brew and I am responsible for making the brand famous

But the last one is Allagash White, which I made famous. I mean, it's a little bit of a cliche, but I mean, I have two or three Allagash Whites a week. I mean, it's good beer. What more can I tell you?

James Harden's step-back move is a travel every single time

All right, my third travel complaint is James Harden's little step-back move that he does. That is absolutely a travel. It's a walk every single time. He travels, and they never call it. It's disgusting.

Jason Garrett is on a toasty hot seat in Dallas

I'm going to see the Dallas Cowboys in Oxnard, California. [Jason Garrett's hot seat?] I think it's toasty. It's toasty.

A team's closeness and culture is a tangible advantage on the field

I always feel the tighter team, the closer team, has an advantage over the team that's not as tight. And the only way you do that is by hanging here, spending time together. I like to put ping pong tables in there just so people kick it and they don't go home right away.

Defenses never actually 'caught up' to the zone read; execution and health just failed

Personally don't think [defenses] ever did [catch up]. It was the lack of being able to continue doing it... There's no hey defense learned how to stop it. Yeah, they just have to play simpler which allows you to open up everything else.

Jimmy Garoppolo is an elite thrower with exceptional release speed

Jimmy, he's an elite thrower. I think everyone can see his arm talent, how quickly he can get rid of the ball. Even if you don't block very well, he can speed it up so fast that it's very hard to get to him.

Having a fullback allows the offense to dictate the game to the defense

I like to dictate what the offense wants to do. And when you don't have a fullback in the game, the defense can dictate it a lot... When you have a fullback in the game, it doesn't matter what the defense does. If you want to run it, you can, and they know that.

I regret throwing the ball on 2nd and 10 in field goal range during Super Bowl 51

The one regret I had is after we got down there was throwing it on second and 10. I wish I just ran it. But I also didn't plan on us getting a sack. We got four guys out, thought we could end it right there, and I thought if it wasn't, we'd throw it away, and we didn't.

The holding call on Mohamed Sanu in Super Bowl 51 was a suspect flag

Mohamed Sanu got us right back in the field goal range, but our left tackle had a holding kill, which put us in a third and 30... Mohamed Sanu beat man-to-man coverage, and it was over like that. But then there was a flag there, which – It still is a suspect flag, but it is what it is.

Johnny Manziel was set up to fail by being drafted higher than his production warranted

I thought Johnny, you know, he was put in an unfair situation where I thought he was taken higher than what he could produce. And that's a lot of pressure on a guy... I think he was set up to fail from the beginning.

NFL preseason doesn't suck; it's genuine, enjoyable football

It's such a treat every August because everyone's like, oh, the NFL preseason sucks. Guess what? It doesn't suck. No. It's football.

Saquon Barkley is a future Hall of Famer

Saquon Barkley, future Hall of Famer. His legs look even bigger in pads.

Josh Allen's passes are so powerful they will require drone cameras to track

They're going to need to devise new cameras. All-22 isn't going to be able to cover Josh Allen's passes. No. They're going to have to have a drone. They're going to get... Obama to fly a drone above the stadium... taking photos.

Most sports media coverage of NFL contracts is based on lies because they don't look at the real numbers

I can't believe how bad everybody still is with contracts. NFL contracts, the first headline's a lie. and then it's the guaranteed money, and then it's what's paid out in the first three years. So if Odell's asking for a certain number, what he's really doing is manipulating the media because the media doesn't seem to want to put in the time to figure out what's really being asked for in the contract.

Media personalities should get things wrong on purpose once every few months to move the needle

I had somebody to pull me aside. I was like, you take it too seriously when I was younger. And he said, get something wrong on purpose. Just be so wrong once every few months that it kind of registers with people.

The 'clutch gene' is a real phenomenon because athletes can 'tighten up' under pressure

Why is it that we all accept that a certain golfer standing over a major putt four feet out to win the Masters... Everyone would agree that you're tightening up there a little bit, right? ... So if we all accept that that exists, why couldn't there be players that are more comfortable, therefore clutch, in those moments?

LeBron James will win exactly one more NBA championship in his career

I'll go under [1.5]. I think he has one more. But usually these guys, this means they're done. Remember the Kobe stuff? We're like, oh, nobody wants him more than Kobe. You want it all you want. This is over.

Kawhi Leonard might stay in Toronto long-term because he'll realize how great the city is

Kawhi could be sitting here going, I'm not staying in Toronto. And then you're there. Toronto's awesome. Currency. Exactly.

Men should never use 2.5-pound plates at the gym

Men shouldn't use the two and a half plates ever. Ever. ... You went up two and a half pounds today. Like, men shouldn't use the two and a half plates ever.

Grinding out a par in golf is more impressive than shooting a low score with no effort

See, Big Cat, here's where you and I kind of differ because you don't know as much about golf as I do. He [Tiger Woods] grinded this one out. ... if you grind out a bad score, it's actually better than shooting a good score with no effort. It shows more grit, more determination. It's like an ugly win. Better than a beautiful loss.

Sex bots will be perfected before robot umpires or doctors

I think we're going – if history has taught us anything, it's that sex is always on the bleeding edge of technology. So after we perfect sex bots – Then we'll get around to making things like doctors, surgeons. Robot umps and robot baseball players.

Bill Snyder will retire and then un-retire during his five-year contract extension

The best part about that extension is he's going to retire and come back within those five years. Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

Theme parks and water parks use black sidewalks to dehydrate guests and increase concession sales

Have you ever noticed how theme parks and water parks always have black sidewalks? Yeah, to make you more thirsty so you buy more concessions. Yeah, stay woke. That's like pretzels at a bar.

If you get arrested, you should drop the name of a mid-level officer rather than the President

If you get arrested, you want to drop a name. It's kind of the inverse of what you think it should be. You want to drop the smallest name possible that the guy would recognize. Like you want to drop the name of his slightly superior officer. You don't want to go straight to the top with the president.

Ohio State fans should have learned not to hold rallies before the facts are out from the Penn State / Joe Paterno situation

I feel like we should have learned our lesson with the Joe Paterno rallies. Maybe wait until we figure everything out before you do like an entire impromptu rally at the stadium being like Free Urban Meyer. I can't really wrap my head around these people because I would assume these are the same people that if you bash Urban Meyer on Twitter, they will reply with, wait till all the facts come out. But then they also held an entire rally with none of the facts out.

The Simpsons is the best cartoon show of all time

Number one, no-brainer, Simpsons. Best cartoon show of all time. Even though there were only like seven or eight awesome seasons of it, those seven or eight seasons were good enough to justify like 50 years of shit.

Rick Pitino will not survive Twitter

Rick Pitino even plans to start a Twitter account. Rick Pitino, listen to me right now. Do not create a Twitter account. You are not going to survive Twitter.com. This is not going to work, Rick. He is going to hate it.

The Rock is exactly as great as you imagine him to be

He's great, man. He's everything you imagine and want him to be. It's very satisfying. He often gets himself into pickles just like we do, but he's like such a magnetic dude that he'll get himself out of it easier than we can.

Sports stories have more longevity and 'better legs' than traditional showbiz stories

I just think sports is more – that has better legs. You know what I mean? There's more there. Then showbiz... showbiz just kind of like it's the snake eating its own tail. You know, but in football, you know, like you'll read an article like somebody tears ACL and that's it. That's the phrase. It's not even a sentence. It's a phrase. And this show [Ballers] is about all the drama that led up to that and follows that tear.