Takes

MLB should allow managers to bat anyone on the roster out of order in the 9th inning

The rule is that in the bottom of the ninth, your manager is allowed to bat anyone, anyone on your roster, out of order, doesn't matter, makes the game more exciting... I actually like this rule. It's insane. The closer position would basically be obsolete, but it's a cool rule.

Major League Baseball is the only sport that will never change its rules

The best part about these rules that get thrown out for baseball is baseball is like the only sport that will never change any of its rules no matter what. They still can't figure out if they want to get rid of the DH or not.

The NCAA vacating titles is the dumbest penalty because you can't actually take away a title that people watched

Is this not the dumbest, most NCAA penalty? Just being like, yeah, all those memories don't exist anymore. [Louisville's] fans are just... Really, the only thing that it punishes Louisville in is that Kentucky fans can now say they didn't win that. But other than that, you can't just take away a title. That doesn't work.

Ice dancing is just figure skating for betas

Ice dancing is just figure skating for betas. It's figure skating for people that weren't good enough to do the jumps.

You can't have a tie in the Olympics; make them go again

I also saw that the bobsled team from Canada and Germany tied. Both got golds. How is that possible? Again, I'm not trying to be an Olympic hater, but you can't have a tie in the Olympics. You can't. It's the Olympics. Make them do it again. Go down one more time. What the hell are they doing?

Admitting you are a golfer out loud is broken brain territory because President Trump also golfs

So we've talked about it a few times that Donald Trump, President Trump has broken some people's brains. And I would say this guy who is now saying he can't openly admit that he's a golfer because President Trump also golfs. That would be broken brain territory.

Scott Boras is on the hot seat because the MLB collusion against him is working

My other hot seat is Scott Boras. So Scott Boras, the number one MLB agent. He has had a tough offseason. He promised a lot of money to a lot of people, and he hasn't really come through... basically the entire collusion against Scott Boras has worked. And he's especially on the hot seat too because he's trying to convince everyone how he's doing well.

I want to take out high interest loans to invest in Steven Seagal's Bitcoin 2Gen

I don't want to overreact, but I want to take out some high interest loans just so I can invest them in Steven Seagal's Bitcoin [2Gen]. That's how confident I am in this.

Media outlets create fake millennial memes and trends like avocado proposals just to have something to write about

I think someone out there... they either work for New York Times or BuzzFeed is basically creating these fake millennial memes and look at this new trend just so they have something to write about.

Ryan Tannehill is awesome and will take the next step next year

Yeah, I think Ryan Tannehill is awesome. [He will] take the next step.

Assuming that 50% of MLB players are taking Adderall

I have spoken to people in baseball, and the assumption is right around 50%. Now, I don't know what the rules are as far as if you just get a doctor to prescribe it, it's fine by MLB... obviously, if you're taking it and you have not done the proper steps to tell the league that you are taking it, you can get in trouble.

The success of the Golden Knights makes the rest of the NHL look bad for giving up those players

It's kind of going to make the rest of the league look really bad because all the other teams gave up all these guys, and they're all like the quote-unquote NHL rejects.

LeBron James' tears after winning the Cleveland championship were fake

I'm not a huge LeBron fan. I feel like he's very calculated. I felt like when he cried after he won it for Cleveland, he felt like he had to cry because MJ cried when he came back and did his thing and it made it emotional. Fake tears.

The Blackhawks core will be fine after a full summer to recharge

That core group of players has played a lot of hockey over the last eight or nine years... they're not getting that summer, the proper summer training... I think they're going to be okay.

The Nashville Predators or Pittsburgh Penguins will win the 2018 Stanley Cup

If I had to go gun to your head... safe bet, I'd probably pick Nashville. East is going to be tough. Let's go, I'll say Pittsburgh again.

The NBA is so entertaining off the court that it makes up for the lack of production on the court

I feel like NBA is so entertaining off the court that it makes up for the production on the court.

Josh Allen will be the number one pick in the 2018 NFL Draft

So Josh Allen, the tallest quarterback that's ever played football, also going to be the number one pick in this year's draft.

Kobe Bryant is the real GOAT because he doesn't need a debate partner

LeBron versus MJ is the GOAT debate... that means that LeBron and MJ need each other to be a part of the goat discussion... which means Kobe's the goat. Kobe doesn't need LeBron or MJ to be considered a goat debate. They're just Kobe. He'd debate against himself. Kobe 8 versus Kobe 24.

If you need to buy time in a relationship, get a dog instead of a promise ring

What this guy doesn't realize is you don't have to get a promise ring. Get a dog. That's what a dog is. You get the dog, and then that buys you time.

Defense in the NBA All-Star game is not fun

they decided to play defense in the All-Star game, so that's not fun. Especially for those of us that had the over.

Left-handedness is proof that the human body is not meant to be left-handed

I think that just playing golf left-handed, that just goes to show you that the human body is not meant to be left-handed. They don't make left-handed can openers for a reason, folks.

I'm rooting for Tim Tebow because he makes sports more interesting

I root for Tim Tebow because he makes sports more interesting, but holy shit, will that be a circus [if he plays in the majors].

Tiger Woods getting a 'bad boy' warning from Trump is good for his street cred

Tiger Woods' bad boy status, when other men are saying, watch out for him, it's like Costanza putting on the Yankees jacket. It's like, you got to watch out... getting this back into circulation is good for his street cred. It's great.

Bob Huggins had a legitimate gripe regarding the free throw disparity against Kansas

with that last night, there's no question that he [Bob Huggins] had a legitimate concern because both teams are extremely aggressive... that amount of free throw difference, that was the most, that was the biggest margin of free throws Kansas has ever had in a Big 12 game. I mean, that's amazing stuff. So he had a legitimate gripe.

Virginia is susceptible to in-game lulls because they don't get to the free throw line enough

Virginia because I really like them but they've got that reputation that they don't commit a lot of fouls well they don't get fouled very much either so like they're not shooting very many free throws and on those nights when you're not making your shots you've got to have something else that you can go to.

Trae Young and Oklahoma are struggling with fatigue and spacing, not a lack of talent

I don't see him [Trae Young] playing as quick as the last week or so... I think the whole mental fatigue, physical fatigue, everybody's got that in February. Sometimes you just got to get back to playing quicker... if his team can stay committed to the spacing and they've got to start to string some stops together, I think they'll be just fine.

The FBI is leaking information to scare college basketball coaches into flipping

I think it's one of the agents that's actually working on the investigation who is trying to scare coaches into flipping... leaking this out and saying, 'hey, we're coming for you, we have the goods.'

Gonzaga is currently undervalued and capable of a deep tournament run

My initial reaction to that question [dark horse] would be Gonzaga. I think they are really good. I think they can go to the bench. I think Rui Hachimura is a potential breakout star... I really like their team.

Virginia Tech is a dark horse to make a deep run in March

You know who I like? Because I think they're deep enough. I like Virginia Tech... I like their team because they can beat you different ways. Now, they've got to defend better... I think they can do that. So that would be a team just off the top of my head in that realm that I would look at.

Wichita State is a team no one wants to see in the first or second weekend of the tournament

Wichita State is not anybody I'd want to see, not only the first weekend of the tournament, but the second weekend of the tournament. Their offense, I feel like they can really get hot, and they can do it all different ways.

Villanova will be a championship threat once they get Phil Booth back

When they get [Phil] Booth back, and now that the freshmen have been able to play these minutes... I wouldn't want to have to deal with them. They can beat you so many different ways.

A.J. McCarron will receive a contract similar to or better than Mike Glennon's

Someone is going to give A.J. McCarron some legitimate money. I would say my guess right now is he's looking at Mike Glennon plus. The Browns were interested enough to try to trade for him.

NBA playoff seeding should be based on a team's record against the gambling spread

I like for playoff seeding, I think we should do instead of best record, it should be best record against the spread. Let everyone start actually playing for the spread. It would be unbelievable if teams are up by like seven and the spread's nine and they're just gunning.

The Russian curler using performance-enhancing drugs proves curlers are taking it seriously

one of the Russian athletes got busted for using drugs and it was a curler... So curlers are now taking performance enhancing drugs. Well, it's Russia. Adderall... you have to dope if you're in Russia.

Donovan Mitchell will win the NBA Slam Dunk Contest

I'm going to go with my pick. Ready? You want to pick? Donovan Mitchell. Because I feel like to win the dunk contest, you have to have that big time buzz, regular season buzz. He's got that a lot. And so people are going to be like, this is the coronation of Donovan Mitchell.

Victor Oladipo will win the NBA Slam Dunk Contest

I'm going with [Victor] Oladipo. I have no reason why I'm doing it. I like saying his name.

Someone is going to be hungover during the NBA All-Star game

My prediction is someone's going to be hungover in that game. Yeah, every single person.

Josh Allen is going to suck in the NFL

I love this Josh Allen buzz. He is going to suck, and it's going to be great.

AJ McCarron is the perfect fit for the Arizona Cardinals

AJ McCarron has Arizona Cardinals screaming all over him. That seems like the perfect fit. Shirt off. Business tats.

Russell Wilson has never actually had sex

I'm a Russell Wilson sex truther. I don't think that Russell Wilson's actually had sex. If he has, it's probably through a sheet. He's just not cool enough to have sex.

I will win the 2018 Daytona 500

Yes, I would [guarantee a victory this Sunday]. Starting on the front row, we're starting second with our FedEx Camry... I think that we got just a good, if not better, shot because obviously our car is faster.

Roughly 70% of NASCAR drivers use Adderall or similar focus-enhancing drugs

[Big Cat: You've got to put a percentage on it... 90%? 70%?] I would say yes [to 70%].

LeBron James is a better all-around player than Michael Jordan, but I trust Jordan more at the end of a game

I will say LeBron is better all around, but I trust Michael at the end of the game.

I am officially an anti-Joey Logano podcast

Fuck Joey Logano. We're an anti-Joey Logano podcast, officially. We got a lot of things that we, a lot of hats we wear, but Joey Logano is not one of them.

The Eagles should NOT cut Jason Kelce for swearing at the Super Bowl parade

Mike Francesa had the take quake of the Eagles should cut Jason Kelce because he swore at the Super Bowl parade... Mike, if you don't go in your car, you actually will never hear a championship. Who listens to a championship broadcast on the radio?

The WatchESPN app allows the network to spy on you inside your house

Alex Jones thinks that Bill Walton was being 100% serious... It would also be great if Bill Walton accidentally exposed this, and ESPN was trying not to let this out, and he was just off on one of his weird trips, and he unwittingly uncovered the most giant conspiracy in the history of cable television.

Bill Walton's 'WatchESPN' comment was a result of him doing acid in a forest

When Bill Walton says, 'Watch ESPN, I can watch you,' it's because he did acid in the forest and pulled up his Watch ESPN to watch UCLA versus USC, and was like, 'The game's watching me.'

I would rather win one Super Bowl and have fun than win five in a fear-based organization

I think a lot of guys just want to be happy playing football... It's like the Patriots, obviously, they won five Super Bowls. Is that necessarily guideline minds to win the Super Bowl?... I don't want to be serious. I want to be a not serious individual and get the job done.

Ex-Patriot players won't speak the truth about how much they hated playing for Belichick

What do you think they're going to say? I can hate it there. No, I won Super Bowls. We had a great time. They're not going to badmouth their coach. They're not going to say what they really want to say. Do you think that's going to happen? Hell no.

Never slide in beer league softball unless it's the playoffs

Here's a hard and fast rule I had with softball... You never, ever slide if it's not the playoffs. Ever. Regular season does not matter. Just do not slide. If you get caught and you get tagged out, that's fine. It's better than sliding.