Takes

Georgia will beat and cover against Auburn in the SEC Championship

I think that this week in Atlanta, where it's going to be a far friendlier environment for the Bulldogs, they're going to get back to the run game... So I really like Georgia in this one, not just to cover the two and a half, but just to win.

If Ohio State beats Wisconsin, Alabama will get the 4th playoff spot

If Ohio State beats Wisconsin, I think Alabama will get that spot. As long as Clemson beats Miami, Oklahoma beats TCU, and then it probably doesn't really matter what happens in the SEC title game.

Wisconsin will beat Ohio State in the Big Ten Championship

I'm going with Wisconsin, man. 13-0 after this game, 13-0... I think Jonathan Taylor is a player, dog. Like, I like his game, bro.

Tennessee missed out by not hiring Jeff Brohm

Brohm, he's a good coach, man. I like him... I think [hiring him] would have been an awesome hire.

The Bears would have had a better chance to win the 2010 NFC Championship if they played Caleb Hanie earlier

We'd have had a better chance of winning [the 2010 NFC Championship], no question. [If Lovie Smith went straight to Caleb Hanie].

James Franklin will eventually win a national championship at Penn State

He's beyond reproach... where people start just trusting him with a blind eye and say, take over this program and we know you're going to do the right thing. And I think that's going to pan out really well.

Wearing sleeves in the cold is weak for an NFL player

That is so weak, man... I am [calling Kyle Long weak]. That's weak, dog. Next time I see him, [I'll say it to his face].

Tennessee fans effectively coach the team by vetoing hires

Well, they kind of are letting their fans coach their team next season by letting their fans tell them who they can and can't hire.

Mike Leach was born to coach in the SEC

When he was at Kentucky, he used to try to get horses to drink beer... He was born to coach in the SEC. I can't wait for it. Coach Leach, you're our guy.

The Arizona State AD only hired Herm Edwards because they fell for agent posturing

Herm Edwards did the thing where we say that, you know, the agents all every couple of years throw a name out there just to make their guys ego. And then they threw the name out there and Arizona State's like, wait, we'll take Herm Edwards.

Having a Chili's on campus helps a football program win games

This is [UCF's] first football season with an on-campus Chili's, and they're 11-0... Jimbo Fisher's record with a Chili's on campus, 78-17 with one national title. Jimbo Fisher's record without a Chili's on campus, 5-6 with zero national titles. Chili's wins football games.

Ben McAdoo benching Eli Manning for Geno Smith is performance art

If you have fucked up your job so badly that Geno Smith is the answer to whatever your problem is... that is performance art. It is hilarious to me. So Ben McAdoo, I know you probably didn't mean to screw up this badly, but thank you for doing it.

Pittsburgh might be the Garden of Eden

I've said it before about Pittsburgh, three rivers meeting, the Garden of Eden in the Bible. It was at the connection of three rivers. Pittsburgh might be the Garden of Eden.

Eli Manning will go to Denver and win a Super Bowl

Here's my prediction. You ready for this? A Manning family tradition. Goes to Denver. Wins the Super Bowl.

The CFP committee got the rankings exactly right

I actually think they got it exactly right. I think Wisconsin should be four. I think Alabama should be five. And that, like, Ohio State, Miami, like, it feels like all those teams, they could probably leapfrog, but they're outside looking in. Like, that's exactly where they should be.

Oklahoma will lose the Big 12 Championship Game

I honestly think Oklahoma's going to lose. That's going to be the havoc that's going to be wreaked on Saturday.

Lacrosse is booming and the sales are up

My cool throne is lacrosse. Nike chairman Phil Knight, he was commenting on the Duke Florida game the other day, and he said, lacrosse is growing. So the sales are up. They're growing, not a show. Business is booming.

Bitcoin is the future and will replace physical money

You think that the dollar bill's in your pocket right now? You think they're going to last forever? You think money's going to last forever? Okay, so Bitcoin's the future, baby. There's not going to be money in the future. There's going to be Bitcoin.

I do not miss football even one percent

Do you miss football at all? No, not even one percent. No. So I very much flipped the switch into not being in the football schedule right? I very much fell out of love with the schedule of being an NFL player.

The internet is worse for your brain than football

The internet is worse for your brain than football. The internet is tough... it's a tough place. And when you get into the annals of the internet, there's some bad shit happening.

Trent Richardson was not a good NFL player and only got drafted for his speed

Trent Richardson. Oh, that's two first-rounders. People don't know that. He's worth two first-rounders. Future Hall of Famer. Yeah, future Hall of Famer... He zigged every fucking time. Just a zag one time would have been nice for us.

College football has lost its mind if Arizona State hires Herm Edwards

College football has officially lost its mind. When Herm Edwards gets involved, college football has officially lost its mind.

Florida State is a much better program than Texas A&M

Isn't Florida State a much better football program? Why would you leave Florida State to go to A&M?

Roger Goodell has lost control of the NFL if teams can refuse to wear Color Rush

If Roger Goodell can't make teams wear color rush, then he has lost the NFL... He has absolutely no power whatsoever. If the NFL owners are savaging him and just going against his wishes, the inmates are running the prison.

LeBron James got ejected from a blowout to stat pad and hit the showers early

LeBron got thrown out for the first time in his career for using foul language, complaining about a call in the fourth quarter of a blowout win. Why would he even care at that point? Stat padding? Question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark.

You have at least 45 minutes of driving left once you think you need to use the bathroom

The minute you think you have to go to the bathroom, you have at least 45 more minutes. So that's really like... if someone is a small bladder, a little pee boy... you need to just be like, listen, man, I'm just going to keep going.

Mel Kiper would be the ultimate road trip partner because he never pulls over to use the bathroom

Mel Kiper on a road trip would be the ultimate road dog. Just pumpkin pie and not pissing. Never pulling over.

If you don't take a football road trip in college, you ruined your experience

If you were in college right now and listening to this... if you don't take a road trip with all your friends to an away football game, you have ruined your own college experience. That's the best time.

John Fox is coaching like he knows he's fired

John Fox is going full Fox... I think there's zero Fox given for him right now. He's just going to do a thing where he throws the ball like five times a game for the rest of the year because he knows he's fired.

The Kansas City Chiefs are officially frauds

The Bills, they might be back... This is for real because they go into Kansas City, a Chiefs team that I will officially say is a fraud. They're frauds.

The Chargers will win the AFC West

I'm going to tell you why they're [for real], because they're going to win the AFC West... you were saying that they would be the best team to not make the playoffs. Guess what? You were fucking wrong because they are going to make the playoffs.

The Titans are frauds because they only beat the Colts with the roof open

The Jaguars are tough because I'm going to keep them in the for reals because I think the Titans are frauds. I think the Titans winning in the Colts, that's a game they should win. I'm not impressed by that. The roof was open. That's how you know Jim Irsay is getting desperate.

The NFC South is the toughest division in football

I think we can officially say [the NFC South] is the toughest division in football. The Falcons, the Panthers and the Saints all in my for reals category. And I don't know, like all those teams should make the NFC playoffs.

The Steelers will throttle the Packers on Sunday Night Football

I think they will throttle the Packers. Put it in the books. It's a very safe shot to call. I bet minus 14, and I feel very confident in my bet.

The dog in Aaron Rodgers' commercial does not actually love him

You know the commercial that [Rodgers] does with that dog where they play the Believe It or Not song? It's a very cute dog. No chance in hell that's Aaron Rodgers' dog... if you look into that dog's eye, you can tell that it feels no emotion.

Anything is possible for the Eagles with Carson Wentz at quarterback

When you have Carson Wentz, anything's possible. Yeah, he's unbelievable.

Wisconsin will beat Ohio State 27-17 in the Big Ten Championship

Obviously the Badgers are going to win... I think it's going to be 27-17.

Wisconsin will lose the Big Ten Championship in heartbreaking fashion because of Alex Hornibrook

One side of my brain says that Wisconsin has everything they need to win this game. The other side of my brain says Hornibrook's going to have to make four or five passes in key points... and he's not going to be able to. And we're going to lose in heartbreaking fashion.

The CFP selection committee is rooting for Oklahoma to lose and Ohio State to beat Wisconsin

This is what ESPN and college football, the NCAA, is rooting for. They're rooting for Oklahoma to lose and for Ohio State to beat Wisconsin. So then the final four is Clemson, Auburn, or Georgia, Alabama, and Ohio State. They would go insane for that.

Gus Malzahn looks like Marlon's man's lawyer

I take one look at Gus Malzahn and I think there's no way that this guy is a successful college coach... he looks like Marlon's man's lawyer. Like, if the lawyer had a lawyer, he would look like Gus Malzahn.

No business gets done in America during November and December

No business gets done in the months of November, December in America. No business really gets done in March because of March Madness. Then April, the start of summer vacation season is usually June 3rd through August, let's say. So really, if you don't get any work done September, October, February, or March... yeah, then you pretty much screwed.

The Vikings will be up 40 at halftime on the Lions for Thanksgiving

I think that Mike Zimmer is going to leave the game early because the Vikings are going to be up by 40 points at halftime. This is the time of the year where the wheels totally fall off the Lions. I'm rewinding myself to Thanksgiving of every year for the past six years. We've had Matt Stafford, and I've said the exact same thing.

Playing on Thanksgiving is a vacation for Philip Rivers from his nine children

I bet Philip Rivers is so happy this year that he doesn't have to sit down at a table with his nine children for Thanksgiving. Getting to play a day game on Thanksgiving for Philip Rivers is basically a vacation for him.

Trump is like Machiavelli

I gave a, yeah... Trump is like Machiavelli... The Little Prince.

The Celtics have officially overtaken the Patriots as the heart of Boston

My hot seat is the New England Patriots. They're no longer the best team in Boston anymore. The Celtics have won 14 straight. They've captured the heart of the city. Many people are asking who's going to be the next team to lose, the Patriots or the Celtics. I honestly don't know.

Kyrie Irving is significantly better than Isaiah Thomas

I think we need to find every single person who thought that the Kyrie trade wasn't good and ban them from ever watching basketball again. Because Kyrie Irving is so fucking good. And all the people that flipped out about Fultz... Kyrie Irving is... he was finishing at the rim in ways that it took my breath away.

Jeff Fisher is the perfect candidate for the UCLA coaching job

I am so excited for Jeff Fisher to possibly be in our life. Not only is it... It would be so perfect for him to be in the Pac-12 because we would get that 10:30 kickoff time. College football is perfect for Jeff Fisher because if you go 6-6, you go to a bowl game. He rolls out of bed bowl eligible. That would be amazing.

The Cleveland Browns will run the table and make the playoffs

Cleveland Browns are still very much alive to make the playoffs. They run the table. They don't control their own destiny, though. Hey, Cleveland Browns fans, R-E-L-A-X. You're going to run the table. You'll be fine.

Only America should celebrate Thanksgiving

I agree. I think it's an American tradition. I mean, because it was the pilgrims and the Indians like sitting down and having dinner together and kind of somewhat working out the deal of how we're going to take their land.

Undefeated mid-majors like UCF should be in a 16-team playoff

As a mid-major school, it's tough with the way the system is now to get a chance to get into the college football playoffs. I think they should do it like how they do the 1AA or the FCS or whatever it's called, like a 16-team playoff. Because then you give them a chance, you never know until they go play the Power Five conference teams.