Takes

Norway shouldn't count in the Winter Olympic medal standings because they invented all the sports

Norway's like the friend that's like, 'Hey, do you want to come to my house and play all my video games and I'll beat you at all of them?' That's what Norway does. If you take out Norway, which you should, we [the US] dominated these Olympics.

Connor McDavid's specialty is winning individual MVPs while losing championships

Connor McDavid winning MVP of the entire Olympics in another losing effort. That's just what he does now. It is funny that this is now twice McDavid has won MVP in a losing effort. That's his thing. That is officially his thing. Anytime I play in a big game, I'm gonna be the best player. Not that I'm gonna win it, but the best player out there.

Ski Mountaineering should be a 'death sport' where the last person moving wins

My idea to actually make this a better sport, just like last person going... there's no finish line, there's no time. It's just the last person who's still moving. It's like a death sport. ... It's just like the epitome of endurance. Just have the last person moving wins the gold medal.

I could medal in a women's Olympic slalom event

What sport would become the most watched if they allowed trash talk... [Hank proposed putting athletes in different sports] ... Hank couldn't medal in a single woman's event. I agree with that. [Hank]: Slalom. ... Not in men's but women's. ... women's slalom turns are not that hard.

Michael Jordan winning the Daytona 500 proves he is better than LeBron James

Michael Jordan won the Daytona 500. I don't know what you're talking about... LeBron has not done that.

The skeleton is a joke of a sport that anyone could do with three years of training

The skeleton is a joke. [Max: I think that's actually like proven fact that the average amount of person to take, they have three years experience.] When I watch the Best Loser win by a fraction of a second, I'm like, well that guy just decided to do luge. 99.9% of the world just doesn't do luge.

Society was better when people who performed mentalist tricks were treated like witches

We used to be a proper society. We used to drown those people, like witches burn them. Yeah. Like it's getting a little to the point where it's like, should we throw, should we throw some rocks at him at the town square?

I am done with all international NFL games because the Bad Bunny halftime show was so bad

The halftime performance was bad. I don't obviously really care about the halftime performance... I hope they never do international games [again]. That was the thing that turned [me].

The Milwaukee Bucks should not play Giannis Antetokounmpo for the rest of the season

I don't even think Milwaukee would want Giannis to come back and play... They should want to do whatever they can with this pick 'cause they don't have many of 'em. And Giannis probably shouldn't even wanna play and risk health and risk this contract extension that he can get before next fall. So the tanking is gonna get egregious.

The Patriots would have won Super Bowl 60 if the Cooper Kupp bobble had been challenged and overturned.

I don't know why they didn't challenge that in real time. That was like, that's a bobble. And then it was clearly was a bobble. If he didn't, if they didn't, if they reviewed it and it gets overturned, they didn't even get a field goal... I think we win. [Sliding doors effect].

The Bad Bunny halftime show was so bad it ruined my interest in international football forever.

That halftime performance was so bad. I might have changed my stance on international football forever... It was horrible. I was watching it and I was like, this is, who is this for? This is America. This is a fucking Super Bowl.

Lindsey Vonn crashes every single time she is hyped up to ski.

I basically, every time they say, 'Hey, Lindsey Vonn's about to ski'... she's gonna crash. I woke up and they were like, 'Hey Lindsey Vonn competed this morning and she crashed.'

The Super Bowl halftime show is for chicks

The Super Bowl halftime show is—is—is for chicks... I don't think the average NFL fan is like, man, I hope this Super Bowl halftime show is awesome. I don't give a fuck.

Bill Belichick not being a first-ballot Hall of Famer is an embarrassment

Bill Belichick not making into the Hall of Fame first ballot... It's an embarrassment. This is based on your career and your accolades and what you've done. This isn't a personality contest.

NFL teams should hire gay GMs to avoid paternity leave issues

This is why I would, I would get a gay GM. Yeah. You don't have to worry about paternity leave. Be very meticulous when he is like studying the bodies going into the combine... GM's jobs are just to like, you know, like let this guy go gossip and be messy. Yeah. Like just unleash him on the league.

The New England Patriots are the worst-looking team to ever make the Super Bowl

Is this the worst a team has ever looked on their way to the Super Bowl? [PFT]: The question people are gonna be asking on other shows, not ours. Is this the worst thing to ever make the Super Bowl?

Mark Davis would 100% hire Chris Angel as head coach if the NFL implemented a 'Loony Rule' for interviews

Chris Angel... for the Raiders head coaching job. [A] Loony rule. Chris Angel doing mind freak shit in front of Mark Davis. He, Mark Davis would hire him. He'd hire him. He would a hundred percent hire him.

Jarrett Stidham might have a vestigial tail that acts as a biological gyroscope for his balance

J Stidham might have a tail. An actual tail. ... Everybody was thinking that J Stidham might have a tail. ... if you have a tail, it helps you balance. It acts like a stabilizer. When you're twisting, when you're throwing, it's a biological gyroscope.

Society will collapse and we are living in a simulation if the Rams beat the Broncos 23-14 in the Super Bowl

O's the Mentalist made a prediction for the Super Bowl... the Rams to beat the Broncos 23 to 14. If that does happen, I think we can all agree that this is all a simulation and everything is fake. Society will collapse if O's the Mentalist is right about his Super Bowl pick and the score... that is proof that none of this is real. We're living in a computer.

It's my duty to 'shake it off' on the floors of airplane bathrooms to punish people who walk in with just socks

I watch people get up in their socks and walk into the bathroom... I feel it's my duty to just shake it, shake it up, even it out. Just get the little, few little drops here and there just to let you know that if you wear your socks in there, you're coming home with urine on them.

Curt Cignetti is the best person to be hired for any job in human history

I think Kurt Cignetti is the best person to be hired for any job ever. The only one that you could maybe make an argument right now would be the athletic director at Indiana [Scott Dolson] who hired him.

Nick Saban intentionally held back Curt Cignetti to protect his own coaching legacy

Did Nick Saban specifically not promote Curt Cignetti? Because he is like, 'Hey, if this guy gets a head coaching job, he's going to be known as the greatest head coach of all time. Not me.'... Nick Saban's been trying to keep the world from [Cignetti] for all these years.

Winning a national championship at Indiana is worth four titles at Alabama

Winning a national championship in Indiana is like probably worth four at Alabama. Yeah. So if [Curt Cignetti] wins one more, he already has passed Nick Saban.

Caleb Williams is significantly better than CJ Stroud

I don't think there's even, I don't think there's a debate who you'd take Caleb or CJ Stroud. It's not even close to a debate. No. And that's, Caleb wouldn't, it's crazy to be in this spot... CJ Stroud after his first year, he's completely regressed.

TV companies are intentionally degrading the quality of old game broadcasts to sell 4K TVs

I think somebody's going back and making the feeds worse... If you try to watch a game that's from the year 2009. Yeah. Online. Yeah. It, it looks like it was shot in a, a basement camcorder situation... I swear to God, when we watch football in 2009, it looked good on tv. It didn't look like that.

Bo Nix's injury was a 'soft benching' by Sean Payton

Is this the most high profile soft benching of all time?... Think about it. If, if, if Sean Payton benched Bo Nix, everyone would riot. Now he's got a fractured ankle and he's going to Alabama and it's Diddy [Stidham], his guy.

The new Commanders stadium rendering is worth three wins a year alone.

This stadium, just looking at it, max, I think that this stadium is worth three wins a year. Yeah. The stadium alone.

The football gods cursed Mike McDaniel for not breaking the NFL single-game scoring record

Mike McDaniel chose not to go for the NFL record at the end of the game [against the Broncos in 2023]. Did not kick a field goal. I believe the football gods cursed him after that moment. The Dolphins went 23 and 25 after that.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems... This guy went to the practice field with a gause meter. It read 8.5 plus milligauss.

The Chargers' defense will shut down Drake May and surprise the Patriots in the wild card round.

I think the defense is gonna shut Drake May down. I think we're gonna surprise some people this weekend. That's f***ing bolt up.

Mike McDaniel was cursed by the football gods for not breaking the NFL scoring record against the Broncos

2023 Dolphins scored 70 points. Mike McDaniel chose not to go for the NFL record at the end of the game. Did not kick a field goal. I believe the football gods cursed him after that moment. The Dolphins went 23 and 25 after that. The Broncos went 32 and 16 after that moment.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

The 49ers are statistically the most injured team in the NFL over the past decade since moving to Levi's stadium... Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts. ... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems. ... This guy is saying that the Niners are just getting bombarded with electric waves all day, which is fucking up their bodies.

I would have been a top 10 draft pick if my last name was easier to pronounce

Maybe a few years younger, maybe a couple letters off the last name. It might be, might be a little bit richer. So I don't, I don't know... once you learn it, it's kinda hard to forget it.

If someone spits in your face, it should be legal to hit them with your car

I'll just say this, if someone spits in your face like that, you should be able to hit him with your car. I think. There's no overreaction to being spit on. [Spitting is] massive.

Chase Brown will be the AP Offensive Player of the Year

I'm gonna say it right now. AP offensive player of the year. Chase Brown. Wow... Think about it.

If Clint Kubiak is hired by the Giants, every Giant is a must-draft in fantasy

I think their head coach is gonna be Clint Kubiak. And if that's the case, every single giant becomes a must draft in next year's fantasy world. Because Bowles is not gonna be there. Right?

Bo Nix is 'dog phobic' because he is secretly a dog himself

He is afraid of dogs because he's worried that deep down inside... he's gonna have to tell his parents 'I'm a dog.' I think he's trying to suppress his inner dog because he knows if he becomes the dog that bit him, it's watch out world. He got bit by a dog as a child and became a dog.

Mike Tomlin has to be fired by the Steelers

Regardless of what happens next week, Tomlin's gotta go. I mean, he just gotta go. It's stale. He has a losing record in the playoffs. He refuses, he changes offensive coordinators all the time. Defense coordinators, the seasons all look the same... everything is always the same because it's Mike Tomlin.

Tyler Shough would have been the first overall pick in the NFL Draft if people were able to pronounce his name correctly

I have maintained this. I've said this before on this show. If Tyler Shough had a name that everyone knew how to pronounce, he would've been one one. There will be documentaries on how did we miss this guy in the draft? And they'll be like, well, his name is kind of spelled weird.

Lamar Jackson has radiation poisoning from getting too many MRIs

Do you think Lamar Jackson has radiation poisoning? Mm. From all the MRIs. Too many MRIs and all the x-rays... It might be like Chernobyl.

It is hypocritical for LeBron James to complain about playing on Christmas after doing it for 20 years

LeBron's been playing on Christmas for 20 years. Like, what are you talking about? Now, you're upset? I should [mention] though... Christmas Day [games] are ruined now because they don't play defense in the league.

Eating Ben's Chili Bowl at Reagan Airport before a flight should be banned for safety reasons

Eating that before you get onto a flight... that should, it should be box cutters and Ben's Chili Bowl. The two things that you can't bring on a flight.

Boxing is officially dead as a sport

Boxing's dead. It's currently dead. It might get brought back to life bad, but it's a bad spot. But boxing, boxing as we know is dead.

The Chiefs should just quit for the season now that Patrick Mahomes is out with a torn ACL

There's never been a team that like deserves to quit more than the Chiefs. They've been playing so much football for the last five years... Patrick Mahomes just tore his ACL. If you're a Chiefs player, listen to this right now. Just fucking quit. Just quit.

Joe Burrow is using a 'Jedi mind trick' to get the Bengals to trade him without asking directly

I think what [Burrow] is trying to do is make the Bengals decide to trade him so that he doesn't have to say, I want to be traded and get them to recognize he's not happy... I think he's trying to do the Jedi mind trick to get them to trade him without him having to ask for it.

I am officially a 'Quin de Aragua' guy and want to see Quinn Ewers start for the Dolphins

Why not play Quinn Ewers? ... I am intrigued. I'm questioning whether or not I wanna see Quinn Ewers play. ... I think I am a Quinn Ewers guy. ... Quin de Aragua. There's a Venezuelan Street gang... Tren de Aragua. Exactly. ... This is a South American version of the Straub Boys.

Caleb Williams' throw to DJ Moore was better than 'The Catch'

Caleb's Throw was better than Joe Montana's. He threw it from the 30. Joe Montana threw it from the 18. ... I liked it so much. I thought it was the catch. I sent it to Chris Berman. ... maybe a better throw and maybe a better catch.

Jayden Daniels is the worst quarterback from the 2024 draft class

My preemptive take of the year was right. Commanders would miss a playoffs and Jayden Daniels be the worst out of all the quarterbacks in 2024. [Big Cat: 'Michael Penix?'] He looked pretty good before the injury.

The Raiders are the worst team in the NFL

The Raiders are the worst team in the league. I agree. I know. I do not think that there's a debate for it. They're one of the worst teams like ever. It's crazy watching 'em play.

The Arizona Cardinals should fire Jonathan Gannon and hire Josh McDaniels

In the Cardinals' wildest dreams... Probably fire Gannon. Figure out a way to trade Kyler Murray. Hire Josh McDaniels. He's gonna get another shot. Owners love a guy that's failed twice. Spectacularly failed twice.