Takes

Sports teams that wear the color red are statistically more dominant across all professional leagues

I read a study 15 years ago... that teams that wear the color red are dominant if you look across all sports professionally. There's like a small bit of darwinian or evolutionary trait being bright red gives you as a show of dominance.

In the NFL postseason, running the ball doesn't matter in the AFC, but it is essential in the NFC

What we've truly learned from this sample size, I think it's big enough: in the AFC, running football doesn't work. In the NFC, you need to be able to run the football and it doesn't matter if you're able to pass. Running backs that run for over 200 yards with four touchdowns, their team wins 100% of the time.

I could still run for 500 to 600 yards in a season if I played in the NFL today

Maybe I can put up, I don't know, 500, 600 yards, something like that for the season... at 50, I feel like I could run maybe a 4.5, 4.6 [40-yard dash], right?

I can no longer dunk on a 10-foot basketball hoop

Not at the moment, no. I don't think I could dunk a 10-foot goal. I'm sorry, man... I've tried to touch the rim. So if you can't touch the rim, then you probably can't dunk. No, I can't. I can't touch it.

It's not fair that I'm 23 years old playing against college kids

I'm graduating I'm 22, and I'm 23 years. So I can do whatever ask me whatever the hell I want... I mean, we it's really not fair. How old I am but I'm playing against these [college kids].

Scoring a high amount of points is a curse that prevents winning championships

Scoring points is bad, and you should actually be bad on offense... The 12 highest scoring teams in NFL history have zero championships. Zero. That's good enough for me. Zero championships. Scoring points is bad. You do not want to score points.

The Minnesota Vikings defense is the worst in the NFL against 21 personnel runs

Minnesota is actually the worst defense in the NFL against 21 personnel runs. They allow 6.7 yards per carry and a 74% success rate... And guess who runs the most in the entire NFL? Kyle Shanahan in the 49ers.

Human hearts have a finite number of beats, so running is bad for you

As far as I'm concerned, your heart only has a finite amount of beats programmed into it at birth. It's like eggs in a woman. So I don't want to raise my heart rate too high because then it's not going to be around to beat when I'm past the age of 70.

Bill Belichick definitely uses analytics despite his public denials

He's going to deny most everything possible unless there is an advantage to him. And he could easily say, I don't look at analytics... but somebody else there is giving him the research. He's got a team of guys that are using things, including computer vision... and that's all, in a nutshell, analytics is.

Kyle Shanahan lowered the 49ers' win probability by 19% by punting on fourth and one

Kyle Shanahan you kind of let me down by punting there on fourth and one when your offense is so good... their percentage to win the game went down by 19 percent by punting instead of going I thought they should have gone for it.

I'm the number one person in the world at finding open tables at packed bars

I think I'm number one in the world at finding open tables at packed bars or seats in general because of my figure and I don't like to stand very much... I will always find an open table.

I bought a Tesla to quit dipping, but I just ended up going to the gas station to buy dip anyway

The plan was to buy a Tesla so that I could quit dipping because then I wouldn't have to go to the gas station anymore. So now I just go to the gas station just to buy dip.

Tom Brady has the only records that matter because of the postseason

If I may step in and do your pod form and say that Tom Brady actually has all the meaningful records when you take into account the postseason as well. So really, this is just on paper.

Kirk Cousins cannot win games in California

Cousins can't play on the Left Coast though. He is something like 0-8 in California.

I am faster now than I was when I trained for the NFL Combine

I'd imagine everybody's probably different. I think I'm faster now than I was when I was training for the Combine. But I would say there's probably guys that are the opposite of that.

The UCF vs. UConn 'Civil ConFLiCT' was never a real rivalry to the players

We had no idea that that was a rivalry game or we were playing for a trophy. We just thought it was another game. I think there has to be some sort of agreement when two teams want to become a rivalry, like equal hate or whatever.

Aaron Rodgers stinks whenever he plays on the West Coast

Aaron Rodgers sucks on the West Coast. I was running the numbers on him. I think he's something like 1-5 in the last 10 years on the West Coast or in California. He's a Cali boy. He goes home, he gets too comfortable.

NBA games were manipulated by refs based on points of emphasis, not by direct point shaving

Fixing games. I mean, some people think that I went out there and put Shaquille O'Neal to the bench or LeBron James to the bench so that some of these bets won. That's really not what happened. I picked the games based on relationships that existed between referees and players, referees and coaches, and referees and owners, and what took place in the morning meetings with the referees and what was going to be called that night and how a team was going to be put at an advantage or disadvantage.

Officiating in the 2002 Lakers-Kings series was manipulated to ensure it went to Game 7

Definitely manipulate it when you talk about Dick Bavetta at the in 2002... the famous Lakers Sacramento Game 6. He openly said to a lot of us that he was the NBA's go-to guy. He was put on Game 6s to make sure they went to a Game 7 and that was one of the most fucked up games in the history of the NBA.

55 out of 58 NBA referees were gambling in violation of their contracts

Then [David Stern] did an investigation and found out 55 out of 58 NBA referees were gambling, going to casinos, betting on football, betting on golf, couldn't fire everybody, and immediately started to backtrack that whole thing.

The Dallas Cowboys are currently the third best team in the NFL

The New England Patriots are number one... on the Aikman efficiency rating... the Cowboys are third. So they're five and four, but there's a third best team in the entire NFL according to Troy Aikman.

Jeffrey Epstein is alive and the Clintons used Hillary's brother's body as a decoy

The newest Jeffrey Epstein theory out there, he's not dead He's Alive and the clintons used Hillary's brother... who died six months ago as the body for Jeffrey Epstein which they never did a DNA test.

I was running 4.2-second 40-yard dashes during games because I was scared

Probably doing a football game, I was running 4.2s... Because I was scared and I use that I used that to my advantage. Now if you lie me up just to run a straight 40, I'm not gonna run a good time. But you need someone chasing. I need some more you need to chase Pete the horse.

Baker Mayfield has a broken hand

Baker's hand might be broken. That's why he's not playing so well... Are you reporting that Baker Mayfield might have a broken hand? From sources.

Kirk Cousins performs worse in late kickoffs because he is a creature of habit

I think he's [Kirk Cousins] something like 8-22 when he plays an 8 or a 4:25 kick or later... He must be like super anal, like has this great routine, really comfortable with a 1 o'clock start. But once you get into like the later timeframes, he's just not as comfortable.

James Harden plays worse in cities with high-quality strip clubs

A person on Reddit did a deep dive... and came to the conclusion that if James Harden is in a city with an above-average strip club, he has a bad performance on the court... Credit to him for doing the research. And it shows a statistical correlation.

Mike Francesa definitely farted on air

This is well. There's a two parts that he definitely farted. Number one. That's not a question. He then also in like the last play he had he farted on Tuesday and announced his retirement on Wednesday. That's how quickly it happens.

Marc Trestman's start to his NFL coaching career was statistically better than Matt Nagy's

Through 23 games and their NFL career one coach has 7,472 yards of offense the Has 7,887 yards of offense... Congrats? You took Marc Trestman. One was Matt Nagy and the other was Marc Trestman. That's interesting.

NFL players can't just claim to have a broken hand on social media if it's not on the injury report

He's joking playing with a broken hand because that's something you like should actually be able to tell everyone like hey actually have a broken hand. They're making me play was he on the injury report? No, I don't know. So middle Freddie kitchens might be in trouble.

Urban Meyer is the leading rumor for the Florida State job

Coaching search season is back because Willie Taggart got the axe at Florida State and now people are speculating that they're going to throw a bag at Urban Meyer, who's waiting only for the USC job or the Notre Dame job to open up.

The 2019 World Series is a 'Cuc Sweep' because the road team won every game

The first ever cook [cuc] sweep in the history of American Sports for games won on the road and the other man Stadium. Yep, The cuc Sweep has occurred.

I have a 100% capture rate in my 41-year bounty hunting career

8,000 captures over 8,000 41 years this February... it's a hundred percent. We got one right now we're chasing a million dollar Bond.

I would return to WWE for $20 to $25 million

I think the conversation would have to start at somewhere like, I don't know, 20, 25 [million].

WWE intentionally fired me on my wedding day out of malice

It's impossible to think that it [firing] was anything but done maliciously and on purpose... they didn't ruin my day... I talk to Triple H two days before that and he was like, hey, let's talk. I was like, can I talk after my honeymoon? My wife worked there. She asked for the day off to get married. So the idea that they didn't know that that was the date and I was getting married is impossible.

MLB changed the baseballs for the playoffs to reduce home runs

The baseballs are not going as far in the playoffs. There's a measurable wind resistance factor that was not there during the regular season... What they're saying on Baseball Prospectus is that they change the balls before the playoffs. Raise the seams... Get everyone to tune in for the explosive regular season and then they kind of have a sense of guilt like we're ruining baseball.

Fastball torque is the primary cause of Tommy John surgeries

They just found out that fastballs are the main reason for all these Tommy John's now. It's actually not curveballs and sliders like they were talking about... They did this whole study on all these Tommy John's and they're saying it's fastball torque. So really I don't have to worry about that.

The Nationals are a better team without Bryce Harper

Listen, the Nats are a better team without Bryce Harper. That's a fact. It is a fact.

Mark Titus had a better college basketball career than LeBron James

Last I checked our friend Mark Titus is a better college basketball player than LeBron James. He's played more minutes. He's got more rebounds. He went to a final four. Mark Titus is a better college basketball player than LeBron James.

Jon Gruden was calling out every Raiders play during the 2003 Super Bowl

[Gruden] was running as Rich Gannon. He was doing Gannon and when we go over two minutes on Fridays, he was doing there he'd take everything call out everything call out every freaking play and everything like that dink and dunk and he was actually... Yeah, he was calling exactly everything that was going on.

The umbilical cord acts like a snorkel so pregnant women can swim without the baby drowning

Umbilical cord is like a snorkel. So if you keep your belly button above the water is fine. That's actually fact for real. Yeah, that's how babies breathe.

I tried to break my own hand with a hammer to get a medical redshirt at East Carolina

I grab a bottle of Jack Daniels and I grab a hammer... I take a pull of Jack Daniels, put my hand down on the table and boom, boom, boom. One, two, three. Hit the hell out of my hand, dude... I couldn't break my own hand. But when I told the guys, I was like, what would you do for more football? Because I'd do damn near anything.

Super teams have always been a part of the NBA

Super teams have always been a part of the league. You know, in the 80s, Showtime, the Lakers, Robert Parrish, Larry Bird, you know, Kevin McHale. I always tell people, the Lakers had Ron Harper. Ron Harper won five championships. They don't even mention Ron Harper.

LeBron James cramps more than people realize because his muscles are so dense

I knew Brian [LeBron] was going to cramp, though. Yeah, because his muscles are so dense. He cramps, like, more than you think, you know, because he's so big.

Chris Bosh earned over $31,000 for every rebound in his NBA career

Chris Bosh totaled 7,592 boards, and on the court, he earned $239,063,622. Do the math. Bam. That's more than 31 grand per rebound. Not too shabby.

Novak Djokovic's shoulder injury at the US Open was real and only worsened as the match progressed

Because it [Djokovic's injury] got worse and worse as he lost the first two sets, idiot. You lose the first two sets, and then it's like, ow, my fucking arm really hurts.

Andrew Luck's shoulder failed to heal because Indianapolis was the first city to get 5G service

There is a doctor out there. He specializes in holistic medicine... He thinks that Andrew Luck shoulder didn't heal correctly because Indianapolis was the first city in the country to get 5G service. And he thinks that all the data swimming through that City interferes with the Regeneration of stem cells. Oh, so he thinks that Andrew Luck's his shoulder is actually never going to repair because of that.

The 'Seven-Year Bump' for NFL quarterbacks is real

Somebody actually put the stats together out there... they found out that nineteen out of twenty two quarterbacks entering year 7 had a better touchdown per attempt percentage... everyone except for Jay Cutler had a better completion percentage... Basically the seven-year bump is real.

Climate change will cause the earth to fry in the next 100 years

Climate change is real and the earth is basically going to fry in the next hundred years... Or less. For sure going to happen.

Max Kellerman did not create the term 'BOAT'

Max Kellerman keeps talking about how he created the BOAT, and it's pissing me off... I think someone in the Barstool World slash Blake [Bortles] created it, and it's been around for five years now, and the fact that Max Kellerman thinks he just made it up on the spot yesterday is driving me insane.

In the NFL you must make every kick inside 40 yards or you will be unemployed

In the NFL, you're expected to make everything inside of 40 yards. 10 out of 10. Or you're going to be unemployed. That's a fact. Those are your money kicks.