Takes

Horace Grant would defeat Michael Jordan in a one-on-one fight

I would actually take Horace Grant in a fight. You forget the Charles Oakley goes everywhere MJ goes, but one-on-one though, if you see Horace Grant, he's like six-nine, 250. He still looks jacked as hell.

The NBA will never play again in 2020

I don't think they're going to play again ever. I heard a nasty rumor today... I've canceled sports for 2020 you guys got mad at me for that.

An NBA owner could theoretically marry a player to circumvent the salary cap

Could an owner theoretically marry a player in order to circumvent the salary cap? It's actually brilliant, isn't it? I don't think [there are] any holes in that.

If Zion Williamson is truly 300 pounds, he is the most impressive athlete of all time.

If Zion is 300 pounds, he's the most impressive athlete of all time. He's doing this as a 300-pounder... Better numbers than rookie LeBron. It's incredible watching him.

College coaches moving to the NBA often fail because they treat grown men like kids

I love when that happens. When a college coach thinks they can go to the pros and be just as much of a dickhead as they were in college and then everyone in the NBA or NFL is like hey, we don't really have to do all these things that you're making us do because we kind of know how to do it ourselves.

Jim Boylen is the worst coach in the history of basketball

Yeah, he is the worst coach in the NBA. He might be the worst coach in the history of basketball... He called a timeout with 33 seconds left in the third quarter to stop a run. For people who don't understand, they stop the game in between quarters. So there is a timeout that's naturally there... He's such a fucking idiot.

The Lakers and Celtics will meet in the NBA Finals

I think it's going to be Lakers-Celtics in the championship.

Anthony Davis will sign with the Bulls in free agency next year

Anthony Davis was at like a school speaking... and he called Chicago the mecca. And he said they asked about like him coming back to Chicago to play and he said I am a free agent next year, but we will see. Door is wide open. Those are just fans already sick LeBron. Those are just facts.

Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant's relationship will work because of their 'Jay and Silent Bob' dynamic

I kind of like that Dynamic though. It's a little Jay and Silent Bob ish, right? So you've got Kyrie that never says anything and then you got Kevin Durant that just says everything, right? Yeah, I'm fine with that.

Ben Simmons will hit a three-pointer in his first preseason game tonight

He has his first preseason game tonight, so we'll see if he hits one. Do you guys think he'll hit one in his first game tonight? A three-pointer? ... I think yes.

I am a James Dolan defender because nobody wants to win more than him

Nobody has branded themselves as a James Dolan defender. That's all I'm going to say... I think it's disgusting how everything's always James Dolan's fault. I'm here to tell you, nobody wants to win more than James Dolan.

Zion Williamson won't be an explosive dunker anymore because he measured at 6'6"

Zion's on the hot seat because I don't think he's going to be able to be an explosive dunker anymore now that he measured in at 6'6".

Shaquille O'Neal won the diss track battle against Damian Lillard

The problem was that Shaq's diss track went harder and Shaq has the power of Inside the NBA... lyrical M3 time Finals MVP MVP candidate. You are not one.

LeBron James only supports NCAA likeness rights to keep elite competition out of the NBA

He wants to players to get paid. So they're more likely to stay in college the elite players so they don't come to the NBA and compete against him. That's what's really happening.

LaMelo Ball is a legitimate contender to be the number one overall pick in the NBA Draft

LaMelo Ball... ESPN reporter came out today and said he is a legitimate number one pick contender now... he's doing this in MBL which as we know is owners as a very legitimate truly can he's lighting it up.

Devin Booker complaining about double teams in open runs is a soft move

Devin Booker was mad because Joakim Noah sent a double team on them. And Devin Booker was like, hey, we don't double team and open run... it just showed maybe Devin Booker is the s word soft... what more could work on your game than having a double-team you get double-teamed in the NBA. Why wouldn't she want to be double-teamed right here?

Michael Porter Jr.'s spine is made of dust

My hot seat is Michael Porter Jr. You guys remember him? Remember he's in the NBA? Has yet to play a minute. His spine is made of dust.

Adam Silver intentionally leaked his own phone number so he could smash his phone and hide something else

Do you think he actually planted that? Like he was cool with being doxxed because he's the accessible commissioner. Ooh, maybe he's got something to hide. So he deliberately got his phone [doxxed] so that people aren't sniffing around the other stuff.

The NBA should suspend LeBron James for his role in the Rich Paul agent rule controversy

I think the NBA should suspend LeBron. We're on Team Rich Paul, not Clutch. Just Rich Paul as a person... If Rich Paul, he's an agent of chaos.

Kobe Bryant being ranked 13th for the 2010s decade is fair

There was the all-decades list for the 2010s and Kobe was 13 on it, which I honestly think is like fair... If you're looking at the whole decade, his body of work over the 2010s is not like [first team].

The Los Angeles Clippers should change their team name to the 'Los Angeles Lil Nas X's'

Or they could do what the Raptors did back in 1994 or whatever and just name your team after whatever pop culture phenomenon. The Los Angeles Lil Nas X's. Perfect.

I love Cameron Payne playing in the NBA Summer League after four years in the NBA

My hot seat is the summer league... except Cameron Payne, who is in the summer league, and he's just finished his fourth year in the NBA. He is competing in the summer league. I fucking love this... I hope he plays past when he retires from the NBA and he keeps showing up for the summer league.

The Warriors training staff is sketchy and prioritizes the team over player health

My hot seat is the Warriors training staff. Since the Durant injury, there's been rumors about how Durant was ripshit over the Warriors training staff for kind of lying to him and telling him that the injury wasn't as bad... And Iguodala went on The Breakfast Club today, and he basically revealed himself that he had a fractured leg in the 2018 playoffs, but that was kept under wraps and downplayed.

Magic Johnson is a master of the media and spinning narratives

Can we just for a second note that Magic Johnson is a master of the media? Like, I know he's been getting dragged for a lot of things... but the guy can spin any spin zone. He went on First Take. He basically gets Stephen A. Smith on his side all like two hours before Rob Pelinka has to announce Frank Vogel as the new head coach and basically bringing up the fact that Frank Vogel was their sixth option. So Magic Johnson, hats off to you.

NBA arena decibel readers are fraudulent and inflated by 30 decibels

A lot of people have started to download their own decibel readers on their phones, going to games, comparing them against what the scoreboard's showing. And guess what? Turns out it's like 30 decibels quieter than they're showing.

Magic Johnson resigned as Lakers president so he could spend more time tampering.

We all thought when he did it, we're like, oh, he is upset because he can't tamper as president. And so he wants to retire to spend more time with his tampering. He was like, I want to be a free bird. Right now I'm a caged bird and I'm not allowed to hit up Russell Westbrook and say, hey, congrats on the 2020.

Steph Curry's ankle injury timing is perfect for providing an excuse if he plays poorly in the playoffs.

Steph Curry getting his yearly sprained ankle so that now when the playoffs start, we can say is Steph really 100% if he starts sucking? That was actually the perfect timing for him to roll his ankle.

The player who signs second between Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving will be viewed as the follower, not the leader.

Durant and Irving are debating on who will sign first. Why is that important? The player that is signed second is viewed as the follower, not the leader. Oh, my God. This league.

LeBron James drinks enough wine to equal 70 cigarettes a week

LeBron James because a study just came out that a weekly bottle of wine is as bad as smoking 10 cigarettes. And for LeBron, that's like 70 cigarettes because he drinks a bottle every night.

Gar Foreman and John Paxson are the idiots in the room now that Ernie Grunfeld is fired

Gar Foreman and John Paxson because now they are the idiots in the room. So it's like you never want to be the last to leave a party. They are the dum-dums. And you could always say, well, it's not Ernie Grunfeld. Well, guess what? Now Ernie Grunfeld's gone, so you are on the hot seat.

Big Baller Brand is officially coming to an end

Big Baller Brand is in hot water. It might be the end of Big Baller Brand... Lonzo Ball's manager apparently stole like a million and a half dollars from him. So he got fired... yeah, they're just, it's probably, probably the end of Big Baller Brand.

This is the end of the Golden State Warriors dynasty

The Warriors are on the hot seat because the Warriors are breaking up... Steve Kerr is sick of Draymond's shit. Now, I don't know if that was actually what he was talking about, but it's clear the Warriors have... I feel like this is it. This is it. This is the end. Don't you?

James Dolan will eventually find a way to ruin a Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant pairing

You know what I'm really excited for? To see how James Dolan can fuck up Kyrie Irving and KD together. Yeah, that's never going to work.

NBA dads are correct that traveling is no longer called in the league

My cool throne is dads. Because we're all in agreement now that traveling is no longer called in the NBA. So, dads, you were right. They don't call it anymore. It was a gather step, bro. No, it was five steps... There were three gather steps, and then there were two more steps.

The Lakers will miss the NBA playoffs this season

The Los Angeles Lakers, if the playoffs started today, would not be in it. They'll be three games out after tonight's loss to the Hawks... LeBron [James] out of my arm. I don't want to miss the playoffs. Rondo hit the game winner, and it was like, well, problem solved. The Lakers are okay. And then they're out of the playoffs right now.

LeBron James clearly tampered with Anthony Davis

Anthony Davis and LeBron James had dinner together. Wouldn't that seem kind of perfect that they waited about a month after their dinner for Anthony Davis to demand a trade? ... LeBron James probably doesn't have to pay an agent's fee. He probably owns part of Clutch Sports. And guess what? Anthony Davis is going to go to the Los Angeles Lakers... LeBron James completely tampered here.

I will not view the Lakers with Anthony Davis as a real team

I'm going to say something right now. It's bullshit, and I will not let it stand... I will not view the Los Angeles Lakers with Anthony Davis as a real team. Asterix on all of it.

You have to be a world-class dumbass not to tamper in the NBA

I would say that you'd have to be a world-class dumbass not to tamper in the NBA. If you're not tampering, you are dumber than a pile of rocks.

I successfully recruited Carmelo Anthony to the Chicago Bulls

It took five years, but I have gotten Carmelo Anthony to the Chicago Bulls. Congratulations. Thank you. We're going to wave him, and he's never going to play for the Bulls. But I did recruit him in the summer of 2014... last laugh, me.

LeBron James is definitely paying LaVar Ball to stop talking to the media.

Can we all agree LeBron [James] definitely pays LaVar Ball to shut up? ... He just hasn't talked. ... We just agree it's a fact.

Ayahuasca could help fix Markelle Fultz's mental block

That could actually probably help Markelle Fultz because it's all in his mind. [Ayahuasca] will clear you up... his brain is broken.

Steph Curry might leave the Warriors for the Lakers

Aisha Curry recently followed Vanessa Bryant on Instagram. So what if Steph was the one to leave the Warriors, go to the Lakers, and leaves KD to deal with Draymond and all the trash in Golden State?

I could convince Kyrie Irving that Australia doesn't exist in five minutes

I'm convinced that I could convince Kyrie Irving that Australia didn't exist if you gave me five to seven minutes in a room with him.

Dwight Howard's plan to evolve into Kevin Durant and take jumpers will be a disaster

First one is the entire NBA because Dwight Howard, his trainer, has said that Dwight Howard wants to evolve into Anthony Davis, into Kevin Durant, but his own version of that... So Dwight Howard is going to start taking jumpers, which is going to be hilarious. It's going to be fun watching him try to shoot and take shots from John Wall and Bradley Beal.

The Lakers have 14 players other than LeBron James who know how to play basketball

the narrative that LeBron James doesn't have any good teammates... super cool Michael Beasley said... you got 14 guys other than LeBron James that know how to play basketball. Also fact.

Kevin Love has the perfect career because he has a ring and now has zero pressure playing for the Cavs

I feel like Kevin Love has finally reached happiness... now he gets to just be on the Cavs and hang out and not make the playoffs and shoot the ball a lot... make a lot of money. Hang out. Put up stats. Live a good life. I kind of love it.

The Cleveland Cavaliers will make the playoffs as a 7 or 8 seed this year without LeBron James

I think the Cavs are going to make the playoffs. That's my hot take. I think they're going to be like a 7 or an 8 seed.

LaVar Ball riding coach class on a plane is a terrible look for a brand built on being a 'Big Baller.'

Someone took a picture of [LaVar Ball] riding coach on a plane. It's kind of a tough look if your brand is built on being a big baller. ... You can't be doing that if you're a big baller.

Paul George is going to sign with the Lakers

[Speaker 3] (25:30-25:31) My cool throne is the Lakers. [Speaker 3] (25:34-25:38) And Paul George is going to L.A. to take a meeting. [Speaker 3] (27:55-27:58) Yeah, I think Paul George is going to L.A.

LeBron James will sign with the Lakers if Paul George goes there first

[Speaker 3] (27:58-28:02) I think if Paul George goes to L.A., LeBron is very fast behind him. [Speaker 3] (28:13-28:18) But the minute one of those two guys [George or Kawhi] goes to L.A., [LeBron] is going to L.A.