Takes

JMU isn't like Liberty; they will be competitive in the playoff

We're not fucking Liberty, dude. We have sex at James Madison University. It's encouraged, it's mandatory. ... If one of those teams keeps it competitive, they might not change the format too much.

JMU making the CFP will force a rule change to ensure it never happens again

JMU getting into this playoff, they will rewrite the rules for the playoffs. So this never happens again. And you'll be fine... But they're very upset that the ACC did not advocate strongly for Notre Dame.

JMU is not one of the best 12 teams in the country

I'm not saying JMU is one of the best 12 teams in the country. I think that that would be an insane take to have. I'm just pumped that we're in it.

James Franklin is leaving a $50 million buyout because he has a competitive drive to coach, not just for the money

I feel like you don't get to a point where you are successful enough to get a $50 million buyout unless you have that like killer instinct, competitive drive. ... James Franklin's going after being an awesome coach, coaching, he needs football to live.

Wisconsin Football is currently the worst program in Power Four football

Wisconsin football just because they're the worst team in college football, Power Four college football. It's an absolute joke what's happened to the program. They haven't scored a touchdown in two games. The culture's broken, the program's broken.

Wisconsin Football will be bad for at least the next five to seven years

I'm starting to think now they're gonna be bad for five to seven years minimum. And if they just keep going down this path, it's gonna be a decade. To the sunk cost fallacy of essentially saying, we made a mistake... let's throw more money at it.

Sherrone Moore wearing a blue-collar jacket is a cheap knockoff of Jim Harbaugh that won't work

He has his blue collar jacket on and he basically was like, Hey, I'm back to work. It worked for Jim Harbaugh because Jim Harbaugh had won... This feels like a cheap knockoff and it's not gonna work. He's appropriating working man culture.

Lane Kiffin's daughter's relationship with an LSU player is a 'coordinated attack' to get intel

He definitely knew. They've been dating for a while. He posted a picture of her... he's already talked to Weeks about what they're gonna run on defense.

The 'Underground Talent Railroad' transfer strategy is a genius college football idea

Let's create a network where we're all transparent with each other every fifth year. Each one of us can take its turn having the A team... PIT gets to have the 22 best players between the five programs... I don't hate it. I love it. I actually don't hate it at all. I love it.

LSU should find a way to vacate Nick Saban's wins to be real haters

What I think LSU should do, find something that happened when Nick Saban was there, because Nick Saban is up for eligibility next year. And if they took away his wins at LSU... If you want to be a real hater, you could do that to a coach that left you and then came and coached for your rival.

UMass moving to the MAC is great for 'MACtion' and weeknight football

My cool Throne is Mion, we're getting more Mion because UMass is getting added, which means more games back... more weeknight football eventually.

Notre Dame will never get higher than a 5-seed in the 12-team CFP

If Notre Dame is the best team in the country, they get the number five seed. [Because] the four highest ranked conference champions will be seeds one through four.

Liberty Football's 2.96 GPA is actually good for a team GPA

Liberty Football. They tweeted ... 2.96 cumulative GPA. ... It's actually not terrible for a team. It's really good. ... football team. It's the old, 'I didn't play school'.

Oregon is going to destroy Liberty in the Fiesta Bowl

17 points is not win nearly enough points. They're so strong and he's so strong... They're way bigger than Liberty. So I'm, this might just be because I saw a bunch of football players up close and I'm like, oh, these guys are way bigger than they look on tv.

Dylan Raiola is already a bust after his commitment poem

What is this? So fellow fans await with hope in the air for Dylan to choose his purpose to declare in a weekend's decision, destiny calls to fulfill his purpose. Where a new dynasty enthralls... He's already a bust in my eyes. I'm happy for Nebraska fans, but you can't be feeling good about that poem.

Syracuse football is having the best off-season in all of college football

My Cool Throne is my alma mater. Syracuse football. They are having arguably the best off-season in all of college football. Almost... in my book.

The NCAA's new compensation rules will create a major/minor league divide in college sports

The NCAA is putting forth a new... regulation... so that certain colleges, any college as a matter of fact can contribute up to $30,000 a year... once this gets into place, it's gonna be like the major leagues, right. Of college sports. Yes. And then everybody else is the minor leagues if this actually ends up happening.

You cannot leave an undefeated Florida State out of the College Football Playoff

If Florida State can be kept out if they're undefeated? I don't think you can... They won't leave out an undefeated Florida state. I'm pretty confident. And if they do, like everything's a mockery. Because you, you, it doesn't matter who's starting quarter, if they win all their games in a Power five conference, like you're essentially saying games don't matter.

Dabo Swinney is cooked because he refuses to embrace the transfer portal and NIL

Clemson though, done. Dabo. It's so bury—so great. Burying Dabo. Bury him... Dabo is not a likable guy. You had your run. And it does—it is kind of nice. If Dabo didn't say all the stuff about NIL and transfer portal, I, I would feel a little bit worse. But he's so resistant to change when college football has so drastically changed in the last five years.

Jim Harbaugh's self-imposed three-game suspension is a genius move to avoid missing the Texas game in 2024

Jim Harbaugh, Michigan self-imposed a three game suspension on him. Genius. Genius Moves. So he misses all the out of conference games... Michigan was like, okay, tell you what, you pressed our hand. We'll go as far as three games. Well, I mean it would, I would guess... they're playing like no one. It's at all the, at a conference stuff.

Northwestern football should be given the death penalty

As a fan of Northwestern, I think they should be given the death penalty. True. I think that as Northwestern goes, we're more than a football team. We're, we're an institution that develops and builds young minds and teaches them to be ethical... death penalty to Northwestern.

College football is headed for a Big Two conference structure

Geographics do not matter in college football anymore. We're headed for the big, big two. Maybe big three... I don't know why we don't just do, we should just do NFL model and just have divisions... The big, the big 10 and the s e c of the conferences.

Urban Meyer would be a great choice for the next Northwestern head coach

I think one thing we can all agree on though is a great choice for the next Northwestern head coach would be Urban Meyer. Ooh, yes. Let's get urban back in the conversation. Not afraid to get his hands dirty. The guy is a molder of young men and let's just get urban back into the Big 10.

D3 football is better at molding young men than D1 football

So D3 football is actually better than D1 football... In terms of molding young men probably. Because I would end up, if I tried walking on a D1, I'd see D1 parties and be like, oh shit, why am I doing this?

Malik Murphy is the real sleeper in the Texas QB battle and has the best arm on the team

In reality in the UT quarterback competition, there was a big dark horse sleeper that no one saw coming in Malik Murphy... I think has the best arm out of any of the quarterbacks on the team. Quinn Ewers did have an amazing day... but this Malik Murphy guy just was throwing bombs out there.

Nick Saban's 'wrong place, wrong time' comment was a direct shot at Nate Oats

Nick Saban has just suspended freshman defensive back, Tony Mitchell... and Nick Saban said everybody's got an opportunity to make choices and decisions. There's no such thing as the wrong place at the wrong time. Seemed like a direct shot at Nate Oats for using the wrong place, wrong time excuse for Brandon Miller.

Texas A&M is a cult

Texas a and M is a cult. Yeah. I, I say this as somebody that knows a lot of Aggies. I lived in Texas for about 10 years. They're cult. A lot of 'em are nice people, but nice people who are in a cult. What was the thing the guy was doing where he, like, he would do that every time? That's that's the horse laugh. Oh my God. They've got entire, they have an entire like catalog and encyclopedia of different hand motions and body motions that these yell leaders have to make at certain points. They're just, they're just cults.

Dabo Swinney would be a serial killer or a Scientology leader if not for football

If it weren't for football, like Dabo Swinney would be a serial killer. Like he's, he's unhinged. He's an unhinged human being. He's not a well-adjusted human being... He probably would take over for David Miscavige and just be the next fucking Scientology guy.

Brian Kelly already regrets moving to LSU

You can see the look in his eye. He's already thinking to himself, like I fucked up, I made the wrong decision. I don't know what I'm doing down here.

College schools will soon use server farms to mine crypto for recruits

Schools are allowed to provide as many education-related expenses as they want to players. ... You could, in theory, provide an athlete with an entire dorm room filled with servers for them to mine cryptocurrency in that dorm room. ... LSU could be like, hey, we're going to build a new dorm called the Arch Manning Dormitory. ... you can just generate money for yourself while you're here.

UConn is the real 2020 National Champion for opting out of the season

My Hot Seat is Alabama and Ohio State. They're playing in the national championship on Monday, but they aren't the national champions... the University of Connecticut, because they were the first football subdivision team to squarely face the coronavirus and decided against playing a single snap during a raging pandemic, should be our 2020-21 national champ. They are the real champions.

The 'COVID issues' at Ohio State are just a cover for Justin Fields' bruised ribs

Stay woke: they have COVID issues [at Ohio State]. Does it happen to be somewhere around Justin Fields' ribs? ... An extra week would help those bruised ribs. So I would say in terms of a punctured lung, calling it a rib issue... I feel like it would help.

Big Ten football is officially back

My cool throne is Big Ten football because Big Ten football is back. Totally. It's officially back Surya sir. Yacht who is her? Yacht. He doesn't have a random dude on Twitter who last I got tagged me one of his tweets and he was like sort my sources are telling me that the Big Ten football season like schools are very upset Big 10 football season still is back on.

Chuba Hubbard's threat to sit out marks a major power shift in college football

When chubba came out and said that I'm not going to play and he's one of the best players in the country. When he came out and he said I'm not going to play unless some changes happen that to me was a major major shift in power in college football. Because people Because he said that his team was lined up behind him.

College football will not happen in 2020

College football's not happening. I don't think it is until the spring. How can you make kids who are not getting paid go and play if there's a pandemic?

Urban Meyer would be a great fit at Michigan State so he can beat Michigan from another angle

How bad would it be if Urban Meyer went there? Oh, that'd be so fun and beat the fuck out of Michigan from the other angle. Yes, you know the thought has occurred to him in the last six hours.

College football broadcasts make every coach look like they are going bald, except Ed Orgeron

Whatever camera angles and Camera filters or whatever they use to focus on coaches on the sidelines. They can take a coach that is probably not losing their hair and make it look like that coach is balding. Every coach looks balding on college football broadcasts. Coach Orgeron, his hair overpowered that.

Nick Saban appearing on the championship telecast while LSU won was a weird move

I don't think I would do it soon as LSU is there I think I'm like, you know what I'm gonna sit this one out... why don't I mean to have your arrival win in you're doing the I don't know. I don't think I would do it. So Saban became a meme I think for a minute.

College bowl games are boring and pointless

Good riddance. Bowls are boring. What's the point?

Paul Bunyan's Axe is the best rivalry trophy in college football

I do think, and I'm obviously biased, but I do think Paul Bunyan's axe is up there... It's fucking awesome. It's enormous. It's just a great trophy to have... grab it and you get to hold it up and it's fucking cool. Fake, fake chop down the goalposts, the whole thing.

DeColdest Crawford is the coolest name in the history of college football

The LSU Tigers signed a wide receiver named DeColdest Crawford. Yes. So DeColdest is making his way to Baton Rouge probably the coolest name. If not in the history of college football definitely in the history of Louisiana state.

NCAA athletes being allowed to profit off their likeness means the EA Sports NCAA football game will return

Athletes are allowed now to profit off their name and likeness. Yep. DeColdest is going to make so much money profiting off DeColdest. Does that mean we get the EA Sports back? I think we do right that we get the best the conclusion everyone jump to and I'm going to say yes until proven otherwise.

Dabo Swinney should be referred to as 'Osama bin Dabo'

Dabo Swinney said that when he's going on recruiting visits through Alabama, he's got to like duck cover, go in underground tunnels... He said that he is Osama bin Dabo when he's traveling throughout Alabama. So that's a pretty solid quote from Dabo Swinney... Osama bin Dabo is now officially what we're going to call Dabo Swinney from now.

Urban Meyer will do media for a year then return to coaching at USC or Notre Dame

Urban Meyer's health... seems like he's healthy... This is perfect, though, because it's just the Urban Meyer playbook. He's going to do media for a year and then be like, I hate this so much because it means that he has to talk and smile, two things he's not capable of doing, and then he's going to go back and coach... boom, USC next head coach or Notre Dame.

I am rooting for Washington State to get into the College Football Playoff

I now am rooting for Washington State to get into the playoff just to piss off... Mike Leach... is going to make [Saban or Harbaugh] so angry because they're all serious.

Les Miles will be the next head coach of the Kansas Jayhawks

As first reported on Pardon My Take, stolen from message boards online. Les Miles will be the next head coach of the Kansas Jayhawks.

Nebraska will upset Ohio State

Nebraska's been really bad this week. They're fixing for a big upset. If they lost this game, Urban Meyer's out. I think they're going to lose. I think he's out.

Ohio State fans should have learned not to hold rallies before the facts are out from the Penn State / Joe Paterno situation

I feel like we should have learned our lesson with the Joe Paterno rallies. Maybe wait until we figure everything out before you do like an entire impromptu rally at the stadium being like Free Urban Meyer. I can't really wrap my head around these people because I would assume these are the same people that if you bash Urban Meyer on Twitter, they will reply with, wait till all the facts come out. But then they also held an entire rally with none of the facts out.

Texas football is officially back because they have 60 players who can vertical jump over 30 inches.

Texas football. This could also be filed under Texas football being back. Because they are back. Tom Herman said they have 60 players that can vertical jump over 30 inches.

Scott Frost will build an 11-win team at Nebraska

We're going to walk into Nebraska and Scott Frost is going to build an 11-win team. And I'm going to be very, very upset about it.