Takes

The Capitals are 0-5 in shootouts because their goalies catch left-handed

We're oh-five in shootouts this year. And I'm gonna strictly say that it's only because we always shoot on southpaw goalies. We don't actually get to shoot on regular goalies for the shootouts.

Florida is the favorite and Toronto is the least likely to win the Stanley Cup among the final eight teams

Florida one. Dallas two. Vegas three. Washington four Edmonton five... Winnipeg six, Carolina seven. [Leafs?] Leafs eights perfect. You what? I guys I can admit Edmonton's an underdog here. And they get through Vegas and, and, and, and I come back on like if they beat Vegas, they're number one.

Montreal's Bell Centre is the loudest sports building in the world, louder than LSU's Death Valley

That is the loudest building I've ever been in in my life. That is, that's louder than Death Valley. LSU on a Saturday night... I was amazed from, from the time I walked in until the time that I left. Like, they're pissed off. They're loud, they're super knowledgeable. It's crazy.

Alex Ovechkin might actually be 46 years old due to age technicalities with Russian players

The most amazing thing about the Ovy Gold chase is... He could be like 46 years old. Like you never know with Russians. So the fact that he's like, could be a little older is even crazier.

The Wisconsin Badgers women's hockey team is a true dynasty

The Wisconsin Badgers women's hockey team won another national title. Four outta six years, eight total dominant. Dynasty for sure. That's the Dynasty.

I can definitely beat up my brother Matthew Tkachuk in a fight

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. [Big Cat: You could beat the fuck out of him?] I'll say and he'll see it and be like, yeah, he can. Oh, he knows. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The United States is currently the best hockey country in the world

Guess what? We're the best fucking country in the world in hockey... until Canada, until Canada to be on Thursday. We right now as of the second we're still the best hockey country in the world. We got the cup. They're not getting it back.

The Bruins lowballed Jeremy Swayman with a four-year, $6.2 million offer

I find out that the offer is four years times 6.2 crazy low ball. And that they, that they haven't talked in like three weeks. It's August camps in 10 days... I had the contract offer. Right. He [Don Sweeney] didn't argue that. So whether it was two weeks, three weeks, or 10 days, right. There's been enough silence in August with your star goalie that it's seriously alarming.

The NHL is rigging the playoffs for a Panthers-Rangers Eastern Conference Final

I something's fishy with the NHL and and this Panthers team... They didn't suspend [Bennett], which is crazy... I don't understand why... The NHL is trying to rig a Panthers, Rangers Eastern Conference Finals. They much rather have that than Bruins-Rangers.

Connor McDavid is so fast he doesn't even get tired on the ice

I honestly don't think he even gets tired. ... He's just so fast. ... And the dual threat of being one of the best passers in the league and now having the ability to score kind of whenever you want, is just taking his game through the roof.

The Colorado Avalanche were one of the most dominant Cup winners in history

The avalanche incredible team, like an absolute wagon of a team... they went 16 and four in the playoffs. They had, they had a four game sweep [of the Predators]... the Oilers [sweep]... 4-2 against the lightning. They, if you combine it all and he'd take out overtime losses and the regular season, they had, they won a 78% clip, which is insane. It's pretty like dad is just, thrills are just awesome. Awesome hockey team that deserves to win the cup.

High taxes in Minnesota and Canada prevent their NHL teams from landing top free agents

My cool throne is Minnesota and Canada. The reason why they can't land good free agents to make their hockey teams good is because of taxes.

Tom Wilson would have been suspended for a full year if he had hit Connor McDavid

If Tom Wilson would have done what he did to Connor McDavid, he probably would have got a full year sussy. I think it's getting to the place where they've got to really protect those guys.

The 5-overtime NHL game was caused by bad ice in Toronto

I personally blame the blame the ice in Toronto for the 5:00 overtime game.

The Capitals are a Team of Destiny because they beat the Lightning

Every single team that has defeated the Lightning in any round besides the first round went on to win the Stanley Cup. Team of Destiny. Doesn't get any more Team of Destiny than that. Now they're 2-0 in Stanley Cup this year. It's a dynasty.

Vladimir Putin hands out unlimited credit cards to high-end Russian hockey players

I've just heard some rumblings, and it's been confirmed by a few guys that, like, Putin basically hands out credit cards to all these high-end Russian hockey players like Malkin and Ovechkin. Where basically they could just go, like if you say they want to pop bottles one night, they just go, they just put it on the Russian credit card.

The Vegas Golden Knights are the greatest expansion team in sports history

I mean, it's the best expansion team in the history of pro sports. I mean, that's saying something.

I bet $100 on the Washington Capitals to win the Stanley Cup

I had Hank get us a future. Me, Bubba, and Hank each put in $100. We got a future... The Washington Capitals outright winner... We'll win $4,800 if the Caps win.

Alexander Ovechkin drinks Coca-Cola on the bench instead of Gatorade

So instead of drinking Gatorade on the sidelines, he just drinks Coca-Cola. ... So he's in the training room and they're like, hey, do you want painkillers? Do you want a shot? He's like, give me Coke. Give me Coca-Cola.

NHL teams are generally locked into their final standings by Christmas

I think if at Christmas, Christmas right around the new year, if the team is – that's pretty much where you see a lot of teams are going to end up where they are then. They can go up and down a little bit, but bearing a huge kind of run or something like that, teams are kind of going to end up where they are around Christmas.

NHL superstars like Sidney Crosby get better treatment from refs and can bully linesmen into letting them cheat on face-offs

Typically superstars do get a better treatment just because they can bully linesmen a lot more than say no namers... Whereas if Joe Thornton's like, 'Hey, drop the fucking puck when I want it,' he'll be like... 'Hey Michael [Jordan], I didn't see it, but I'm going to call it now.' It's very similar to that.

Canadians actually hate Sidney Crosby

Canadians hate Sidney Crosby. That's actually a fact... Everyone hates Sidney Crosby. It was just decided upon, and that's how it is. He doesn't have a man card.

Ice is the great equalizer that allows for upsets in the NHL

It's because ice is the great equalizer. That's the X factor right there. Anytime you get people on slippery substances, you open the door for a big upset, which is why I love the NHL.