Takes

Sidney Crosby's Olympic injury is likely an MCL sprain

He was trying to stabilize on his right leg and it just, it opened up, which to me speaks MCL sprain... I'm hoping it's not too bad and it's just a grade one, maybe two MCL sprain.

Canada is cheating at curling to compensate for a decade-long gold medal drought

The hog line... you're not allowed to touch the stone past the hog line... There's a sensor on the handle. So if you're holding the handle past the hog line, there will be a sensor that goes off. That's why [the Canadian player] is touching the granite because there's no sensor on the granite. And apparently everyone knew that Canada was cheating... Canada cheats... I guess Canada hasn't won a gold in like 10 years too and this is supposed to be their sport.

The Capitals' 0-5 shootout record is due to shooting on southpaw goalies in practice

We're 0-5 in shootouts this year. And I'm gonna strictly say that it's only because we always shoot on southpaw goalies. We don't actually get to shoot on regular [right-handed] goalies [in practice].

Florida is the favorite and Toronto is the least likely to win the Stanley Cup among the final eight teams

Florida one. Dallas two. Vegas three. Washington four Edmonton five... Winnipeg six, Carolina seven. [Leafs?] Leafs eights perfect. You what? I guys I can admit Edmonton's an underdog here. And they get through Vegas and, and, and, and I come back on like if they beat Vegas, they're number one.

Montreal's Bell Centre is the loudest sports building in the world, louder than LSU's Death Valley

That is the loudest building I've ever been in in my life. That is, that's louder than Death Valley. LSU on a Saturday night... I was amazed from, from the time I walked in until the time that I left. Like, they're pissed off. They're loud, they're super knowledgeable. It's crazy.

Alex Alexeyev is waiting until after the playoffs for facial reconstruction after losing teeth on the ice

Alex Alexeyev, he got hit in the mouth by a stick. He lost two of his front teeth on the ice... apparently he needs like full facial reconstruction, dental surgery. And he is like, you know what, I'll do it after the playoffs. Fuck it.

Alex Ovechkin might actually be 46 years old due to age technicalities with Russian players

The most amazing thing about the Ovy Gold chase is... He could be like 46 years old. Like you never know with Russians. So the fact that he's like, could be a little older is even crazier.

I can definitely beat up my brother Matthew Tkachuk in a fight

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. [Big Cat: You could beat the fuck out of him?] I'll say and he'll see it and be like, yeah, he can. Oh, he knows. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Every team that wins the Stanley Cup is full of Canadians

Every team that wins the Stanley Cup is full of Canadians.

The United States is currently the best hockey country in the world

Guess what? We're the best fucking country in the world in hockey... until Canada, until Canada to be on Thursday. We right now as of the second we're the, we're still and still the best hockey country in the world.

The Bruins lowballed Jeremy Swayman with a four-year, $6.2 million offer

I find out that the offer is four years times 6.2 [million] crazy low ball. And that they haven't talked in like three weeks. It's August, camps in 10 days.

The NHL is rigging the playoffs for a Panthers-Rangers Eastern Conference Final

I something's fishy with the NHL and and this Panthers team... They didn't suspend [Bennett], which is crazy... I don't understand why... The NHL is trying to rig a Panthers, Rangers Eastern Conference Finals. They much rather have that than Bruins-Rangers.

The Capitals are actually leading the Rangers 2-0 based on my advanced analytics

Using the proprietary algorithm that we set forward after game one, I have the Capitals actually winning this game, three goals to two. So the Caps take a commanding two-nil series lead on the road. And also during the game, it was pretty obvious that the real score to the game was three for the Caps, three for the Rangers, one for the referees because the refs just absolutely gave that game to the Rangers.

Connor McDavid is so fast he doesn't even get tired on the ice

I honestly don't think he even gets tired... He's just so fast... And the dual threat of being one of the best passers in the league and now having the ability to score kind of whenever you want, is just taking his game through the roof.

Presidents' Trophy winners rarely do well in the NHL playoffs

I don't know what the stats are, but for my personal feel, it doesn't feel like President's Cups teams do well.

The Colorado Avalanche were one of the most dominant Cup winners in history

The avalanche incredible team, like an absolute wagon of a team... they went 16 and four in the playoffs. They had, they had a four game sweep [of the Predators]... the Oilers [sweep]... 4-2 against the lightning. They, if you combine it all and he'd take out overtime losses and the regular season, they had, they won a 78% clip, which is insane. It's pretty like dad is just, thrills are just awesome. Awesome hockey team that deserves to win the cup.

High taxes in Minnesota and Canada prevent their NHL teams from landing top free agents

My cool throne is Minnesota and Canada. The reason why they can't land good free agents to make their hockey teams good is because of taxes.

The 2021 NHL playoffs are under a 'bird alert' because every bird-themed team has lost their opening games.

Sabermetric stat of the week for the NHL playoffs, the entire league's on bird alert. All bird teams have lost so far. It's just the penguins. That counts.

Tom Wilson would have been suspended for a full year if he had hit Connor McDavid

If Tom Wilson would have done what he did to Connor McDavid, he probably would have got a full year sussy. I think it's getting to the place where they've got to really protect those guys.

The 5-overtime NHL game was caused by bad ice in Toronto

I personally blame the blame the ice in Toronto for the 5:00 overtime game.

Tuukka Rask is statistically one of the best goaltenders of all time

Statistically, [Tuukka Rask] one of the best goalies of all time.

I have crushed playoff hockey series betting for 10 straight winning years

I literally, for 12 years straight, absolutely destroy playoff hockey. I bet serieses. This year, I was like 9-1 going into the last one... But I went 9-2 this year, and I've had 10 straight winning years betting serieses.

The Capitals are a Team of Destiny because they beat the Lightning

Every single team that has defeated the Lightning in any round besides the first round went on to win the Stanley Cup. Team of Destiny. Doesn't get any more Team of Destiny than that. Now they're 2-0 in Stanley Cup this year. It's a dynasty.

Vladimir Putin hands out unlimited credit cards to high-end Russian hockey players

I've just heard some rumblings, and it's been confirmed by a few guys that, like, Putin basically hands out credit cards to all these high-end Russian hockey players like Malkin and Ovechkin. Where basically they could just go, like if you say they want to pop bottles one night, they just go, they just put it on the Russian credit card.

I bet $100 on the Washington Capitals to win the Stanley Cup

I had Hank get us a future. Me, Bubba, and Hank each put in $100. We got a future... The Washington Capitals outright winner... We'll win $4,800 if they win.

Marian Hossa is the best player Patrick Sharp ever played with and it's not even close

Patrick Sharp, who has played on a lot of three Stanley Cup teams and Team Canada, once told me that Marian Hossa was the best player he's ever played with, and it wasn't even close.

Alexander Ovechkin drinks Coca-Cola on the bench instead of Gatorade

So instead of drinking Gatorade on the sidelines, he just drinks Coca-Cola. ... So he's in the training room and they're like, hey, do you want painkillers? Do you want a shot? He's like, give me Coke. Give me Coca-Cola.

Professional goalies lose 10 to 12 pounds of body weight during a single game through sweat

With goalies, we have more dehydration issues because we sweat like crazy. We got all the gear on, super hot... I probably lose 10 to 12 pounds in a game.

Pat Maroon is correct that the NHL is a 'man's game' because the league is currently 100% men

Well, technically, the NHL is 100% dudes, right? It's a major sausage fest. Sounds like [Pat Maroon] is right.

NHL teams are generally locked into their final standings by Christmas

I think if at Christmas, Christmas right around the new year, if the team is – that's pretty much where you see a lot of teams are going to end up where they are then. They can go up and down a little bit, but bearing a huge kind of run or something like that, teams are kind of going to end up where they are around Christmas.

I am officially unretiring for a $10 million starting spot

Retired. Done. [Big Cat: $10 million?] Yeah, for sure.

NHL superstars like Sidney Crosby get better treatment from refs and can bully linesmen into letting them cheat on face-offs

Typically superstars do get a better treatment just because they can bully linesmen a lot more than say no namers... Whereas if Joe Thornton's like, 'Hey, drop the fucking puck when I want it,' he'll be like... 'Hey Michael [Jordan], I didn't see it, but I'm going to call it now.' It's very similar to that.

Canadians actually hate Sidney Crosby

Canadians hate Sidney Crosby. That's actually a fact... Everyone hates Sidney Crosby. It was just decided upon, and that's how it is. He doesn't have a man card.

Ice is the great equalizer that allows for upsets in the NHL

It's because ice is the great equalizer. That's the X factor right there. Anytime you get people on slippery substances, you open the door for a big upset, which is why I love the NHL.

People forget that the 1980 US Olympic hockey win over the USSR was not the gold medal game

People forget that when the United States beat the USSR hockey team, that wasn't the gold medal game. [That was the medal round.] I would say actually 60% of America would forget that.