Takes

Zelda: Ocarina of Time is the best video game ever made

We are gonna go Zelda: Ocarina of Time... widely known as the best game ever... It's like known as being the best game ever.

Taylor Swift Easter Eggs are stupid and overhyped

We're gonna take Taylor Swift Easter Eggs. Not Taylor Swift. The music, we understand the music... I, for the life of me do not understand when Taylor Swift just like matches a couple numbers... and everyone fucking goes full investigative journalism mode... it's fucking stupid.

Marvel movies are overhyped and cheesy for adults

I don't understand the hype as an adult is Marvel movies... I like good movies, but... the Marvel movies being like, you know, people like camping out for Marvel for superhero movies... it never made sense to me when they're like cheesy superhero movies.

Con Air is a bad movie because the plot is ridiculous

Our first pick is going to be Conair. Mm. I feel like that's a good movie. It's a really, but you think about the plot of the movie. It's bad.

Michelangelo is the best Ninja Turtle because he is the only true 'party dude' and stays chill

Michelangelo Ninja Turtle party dude. Party dude. He literally just eats pizza and parties. And I think extremely true. I think as much as Raphael wants to fuck April O'Neal, I think, I think Michelangelo is what? April? O'Neal. Lusts after... He's a part, literally is a party dude. He's always trying to keep everyone chill.

Boobs are officially back in style and the undisputed 1-1 pick for soft things

I'm going boobs. Correct. Boobs are back now. Sydney Sweeney brought boobs back for a while... And I'm glad that they are. Yes. Very soft.

Mick Foley (Mankind) is the toughest person ever

I'm gonna go with Mankind, Mick Foley, toughest dude ever fucking going. When he got slammed on a bed of tacks from Undertaker from the top of the Hell in a Cell... he is literally the toughest.

Seasons three through eight of The Simpsons are the best television ever made.

I think Seasons three through eight on The Simpsons are the best TV ever made.

Swifties are the number one hobby that becomes an entire personality

Obviously my one one or I guess one two Swifties. I mean, they're the cra they're the number one. Yeah. Right now they're the number one. Yeah. That is their hobby. That becomes their entire personality. Swifties If. you If you see a swifty online. That's all they want to talk about is Swifties.

Disney Adults are the weirdest people in the world

Disney adults. They're the weirdest people in the, the world now... There's a lot of people out there that get married at Disney World. Yeah. Get propose at Disney World. Yeah. They dress up as Disney characters. And I actually think... Disney adults, their hobby becomes their personality traits because the rest of the world no longer accepts 'em.

Kanye West's 'College Trilogy' is the best pound-for-pound album trilogy in history

To separate the art from the artist Right. And understand that these are maybe the three like pound for pound best albums out there... It is Kanye West College Dropout Late Registration. Graduation. They call it the College trilogy.

The Godfather Part III is so bad that it ruins the whole movie trilogy

Godfather three... one and two are so good... The Tri literally just say the Godfather of three doesn't exist. It like they try to make it so it's not a trilogy... The trilogy then sinks the whole trilogy within itself. That's not, that is incorrect.

The 'Red Panda' halftime performer is overrated because she misses too many bowls

Overrated. [Red Panda] messes up a lot... also the red panda isn't even a bear.

Anyone named Kyle is likely crazy and not to be messed with.

Anyone named Kyle. Don't fuck with them. Kyle's, Kyle's are fucking crazy. Kyle's got... the sickest sound system in his car. Your parents tell you not to hang out with Kyle's. You don't want to. Yeah, because he'll get you in trouble.

You should never mess with a guy wearing Black Air Force Ones.

A guy wearing Black Air Force ones. You don't want to fuck with them. Imagine your daughter comes home from school... 'Who's taking you [to prom]?' 'It's Kyle.' Oh my god. [He's wearing Black Air Force Ones]. Kyle leaves his house... he's in other people's basements all the time. He has nothing to lose. Zero to lose.

Hearing Creed or Dave Matthews Band on a Classic Rock station is an existential crisis

When I heard Creed on a classic rock channel, I lost my shit. ... I also heard Dave Matthews band on Classic Rock. Oh, that's, that sucks to think about. ... we are as far removed as Crash by Dave Matthews Band as when we were growing up. We were from like Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin.

Adam Sandler is a living legend because of his 100% likability rating and his tendency to go viral for playing pickup basketball

Adam Sandler living legend. Great pick. Every also just goes viral every other day for just dropping dimes in a pickup boots game. He's and also he goes viral for being a good friend all the time. Yeah. Like that. When I see Adam Sandler trending it's usually because he did something awesome.

Lisa Ann is a living legend for 'turning so many boys into men' and being a nice person

Lisa Ann... a true living legend. She turned so many boys into men... and she's a very nice person.

Godfather Part III was a terrible idea and people should just ignore its existence

Godfather three [was a] really bad idea. Shouldn't have done it. The perfect two movies. Probably one of the only times that the second is better than the first. And then they're like, let's fucking roll the dice and go again. Godfather three awful movie, so much so that people just don't acknowledge that it exists.

Bill Gates is a loser for using his hall pass on a woman his own age

Bill Gates is such a fucking loser. He could have any girl in the world. His wife gave him a hall pass and he fucked someone his exact same age... Money buys everything. [PFT: He might be the exception.] Instead he was like, yeah, remember that when I was 16 and we kissed underneath the bleachers... but she's also 70. You have no imagination.

People who claim Rocky IV is their favorite are fake Rocky fans

People who claim that Rocky IV is their favorite, they're fake Rocky fans... I just think it's the easiest mainstream... Rocky I, II, III... Two is fucking great. Three, Apollo Creed and [Rocky] are kind of like Pardon My Take and Bussin' With The Boys.

Hook is a top 50 movie of all time

I seriously think that. I think that movie ['Hook'] is a top 50 movie all time. That movie fucking rocks... I did a list. I think it comes in around the forties, but it's a top 50 movie of all time.

Adam Sandler is one of the all-time boys because he just wants to hoop

Adam Sandler... he's always like he's got, I think a boy has to have a little that immaturity in them and he comes into any set... pulls up on dudes playing basketball on the street and just wants to hoop.

The breakup is the best romantic comedy because of Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston

My first one is going to be my one-one is still there, The Breakup. I love that movie. Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Aniston, Chicago. You can't get better than that. That's Vaughn at his height.

Wedding Crashers is a romantic comedy

I'll probably get some pushback with this, but game on, I think Wedding Crashers, that's a raw romcom. That's a romantic comedy... mostly a story about two bros increasing there... The main driver, the main yeah, the driver becomes yes. Owen Wilson not... when they're on the bikes in the fucking meadow and they're, you know, doing the whole scene.

The iceberg is the ultimate villain of the Titanic story

I'm going to go with the iceberg in Titanic. All time. Villain killed a lot of people... The iceberg fucking hanging out. It smoked like 4,000 people... The iceberg took a charge, right? The iceberg, the ball's going the other way. Worked didn't fucking move. Iceberg had position. That's a fact.

Anton Chigurh from 'No Country for Old Men' is one of the scariest and best villains of all time

I'm going to go with the dude from No Country for Old Men. Anton [Chigurh]... What a fucking scary ass villain. The cattle [gun] destroyed people's heads. Oh, what a fucking villain? All timer.

Capitalism is the true villain of the Titanic movie

Billy says capitalism is the villain and Titanic because we're trying to maximize profits instead of safety.

The boy from 'The Giving Tree' is a toxic friend and a 'real prick'

The kid in the giving tree... the kids a real prick... the tree is just honestly, a toxic friend. Is it like, he's a piece of shit. The kid takes every frame, everything from this tree until he cuts the tree down at the end and sits on his like, thank you tree for being here for me when I'm an old man... no you fucking prick. You just killed your best friend.

The 'Tiger King' cultural phenomenon will be the number one most remembered thing from the 2020 sports hiatus

I'm going to go with Tiger King... I think it's more than worthy of my top pick, if not the one overall.

There is a specific feeling of being in a movie when the perfect song hits at the right time

When you have the perfect song Come On whether it be in the car or when you're walking and you feel like you're in a movie... when that perfect song hits for your mood for the weather for everything and it just feels like you are in the middle of your own movie.

AJ Soprano is the worst TV character of all time

AJ Soprano is the worst character of all time. I fucking hate it.

Joffrey Baratheon is a detestable character and I want to throw things at the TV when he appears

Joffrey absolutely hate him every time he's on the screen. I want to throw something at it... I hate that kid.

Wendy Byrde in Ozark is very similar to Skyler White in Breaking Bad

The mom from Ozark [Wendy Byrde]... she's actually very similar to Skyler White. She's innocent at first, signs off on the husband, then she tries to take over the business and flex her muscles.

Chappelle's Show is the greatest TV show of all time

Chappelle's show... Greatest show of all time. Undeniably the number one pick.

Drake is not a talented rapper and has 'low T'

I don't get why Drake is pop. I don't really like his music... I don't think he's a talented rapper. They're all slow. He's low T. Drake is very low T... He does the thing where he rhymes the same word with the same word a lot. He's kind of slow. He mumbles. He's got low T. Actually, he's kind of like me.

Smooth by Santana and Rob Thomas is the ultimate #1 summer song

Smooth. Carlos Santana and Rob Thomas. 20 years ago. It feels like it came out yesterday. It does. The way that they play it on every sporting event.

Blue Sky by The Allman Brothers is the best summer car song

Allman Brothers, Blue Sky. When that song hits, when you're in the car, oof, nothing better, nothing better.

Step Brothers is a movie that holds up perfectly between commercial breaks on TV

Step Brothers is so rewatchable. You know what's crazy? When I first saw Step Brothers I didn't think it was that good but now if you see it on TV every scene every like in between commercial breaks holds up on its own and you have to watch the whole thing.

Roadhouse is the most badass movie of all time and is the opposite of a nerd movie

It's literally like the most badass movie of all time. It is the opposite of a nerd movie. Hey, Hank, I fuck guys like you. I fuck guys like you in jail. That's a Roadhouse quote. Think about that. Put that in your head.

Dwight Schrute is a sidekick to Michael Scott

I'm going to go with George Costanza and Dwight Schrute. Those are my second and third picks [for Mount Rushmore of Sidekicks]. [Dwight] was to Michael.

The Simpsons is the best cartoon show of all time

Number one, no-brainer, Simpsons. Best cartoon show of all time. Even though there were only like seven or eight awesome seasons of it, those seven or eight seasons were good enough to justify like 50 years of shit.

Rookie of the Year is the best baseball movie

Best baseball movie... I'm actually going to go Rookie of the Year number one... Because it's the Cubs.

Watching the Real Housewives and the OC is okay

I'm a little more grown up, I do happen to watch and enjoy from time to time the Real Housewives series. Only the New York. Atlanta? I like Atlanta. Crazy. Countess? Crazy.

The Challenge is the number one reality show of all time

My number one reality show of all time is The Challenge. I have seen pretty much every season. I watched it when I was young, I watch it now. It never gets old. TJ Lavin never gets old.

Cops is a top-tier reality show because of its unique hook and short format

My first one is going to be Cops. Cops is a classic. I also like the format of it. It's short, and it hooks you in. One thing they do when they play a marathon of Cops, right when the end credit of Bad Boys by Inner Circle is done, the start of Bad Boys by Inner Circle just hits immediately.

Jersey Shore revolutionized reality television and is a top-tier show

I'm going to go Jersey Shore, revolutionize the game. Revolutionize the game. It was a cultural phenomenon.

Flavor of Love and Laguna Beach are top-tier reality television shows

I'm going to go with Flavor of Love... and Laguna Beach. I was obsessed with Kristin Cavallari.

The Real World is the 'granddaddy' of reality shows and a top-tier pick

I'm going to go with Real World. So the granddaddy of them all, Real World was great. Especially shout out to the Hawaii season. I remember watching... it always has a special spot in my heart. I do think it is the Godfather show.

Survivor is the most popular and broadly watched reality show of all time

The most popular reality show of all time and one that every single person has ever watched, Survivor. I mean, it's hard to go against. I've watched seasons and been like, this show's awesome.