Takes

The current college basketball season is the best in a long time because the top of the rankings is loaded with juggernauts.

This might be the best college basketball season we're having right now in a long, long time. It is so loaded at the top. There are, you go eight deep of teams that feel like they are like juggernauts.

Duke cannot just lose a basketball game; they always have to make it about a larger issue like player safety.

I just love when Duke loses. They can't just lose, they have to make it about something... It has to be something bigger than just basketball. It has to be, you know, teaching kids to become men or unsportsmanlike or this or that or the other. Just lose the fucking game. You lost the game, you choked.

NIL has improved the quality of college basketball by keeping talented players in school longer.

I would make the counter argument for basketball specifically the fact that we have NIL and guys get paid. You have some super, super talented guys playing in college basketball now... some guys who are staying a little bit longer 'cause it's, you know, they can make more money playing college basketball.

Alex Honnold is a 'fucking idiot' for his free solo climbs

He's a fucking idiot. And I hated every second of it... as a person who's terrified of heights watching him get up to those bamboo rings...stood up at the top in the wind forever. Fuck this guy. I can't watch any more of it.

The NFL should implement a 'Loony Rule' requiring teams to conduct one absurd head coach interview

Instead of the Rooney Rule, we need a Loony Rule where every single team has to do one crazy out of the box interview. Have Pinto Ron come in with his ketchup and his mustard... I watch Cortez get interviewed for the head coaching job... you'll get something out of that conversation that will help you going forward.

Anthony Edwards is the future face of the NBA

Anthony Edwards is awesome. How, at what point is Anthony Edwards? Can we just say he's the face of the league... I mean, it was, it was, it was two future faces of this league. It was Victor, Victor Wembanyama and, and Ant going back to back.

Jalen Brown was snubbed from Eastern Conference Player of the Month

My who's back is Jalen Brown. He was snubbed from Eastern Conference Player of the Month for December. He was statistically better than Jalen Brunson. He was vocal about it. He should have been player of the month.

Justin Herbert needs to finally win a playoff game to shut up the doubters

I just need Herbert to win a playoff game because every year it's the same fucking shit where it's everyone's hating on Herbert. We need the Chargers to win this shit. I just get my hopes up every year. Fucking 27-nothing lead we fucking blow it.

Boxing is officially dead as a sport

Boxing's dead. It's currently dead. It might get brought back to life bad, but it's a bad spot. But boxing, boxing as we know is dead.

College coaches will always try to jump to the NFL because it is easier

I do think that college coaches will always try to go to the NFL because it's easier. But Marcus Freeman does feel like he's got a really good thing going on at Notre Dame.

AI technology is failing because it doesn't justify its investment costs

I think AI is in hot water. I feel like this is, we're we're in a good spot as humanity right now where AI has not been making enough money to justify all the investment. ... We might beat the robots.

Michigan players saying they were 'protecting the logo' after getting crushed is pathetic

If you're a Michigan fan, you have to be completely embarrassed that that was actually said afterwards... to come a to afterwards be like Yeah, we were making sure that they couldn't do anything with the m we're gonna protect the m... That's so pathetic.

I would be fine with Brian Kelly coaching the Wisconsin Badgers

Have, have you thought about a world where Brian Kelly is the coach of the Wisconsin Badgers? I'd be fine with it. He'd, he'd make us better than what we are right now. He, he gets good results... I am so sick of watching my team suck every Saturday that I will, I will have the guy that I probably hate most of any coach, coach my alma mater.

Taylor Swift's new album is a flop

My other's back the week is Taylor Swift... heard it was a flop. From what I've seen, I, I would give it not her best... some are saying it's, it's chat GPT. It's it's, yeah.

If you care about the Super Bowl halftime show, you're not a football guy

I'll say it. If you have a hot take, a really strong opinion about the Super Bowl halftime show, you're not a fucking football guy. You showed yourself. You're an anti-football pussy. You gotta watch film at halftime. You gotta figure out what to bet in the second half.

Ryan Clark is a 'piece of shit' for berating Peter Schrager

My who's back of the week is our guy Peter Schrager... Ryan Clark's a piece of shit. I'll just say that... he just like berated Peter Schrager for having a take on a take show because he didn't play the game... Ryan Clark, come on, man.

LeBron James is only playing another season to avoid retiring in the same year as Chris Paul

I think the only reason he is not gonna play, or he is gonna play another year is 'cause Chris Paul's gonna retire. He doesn't wanna retire the same year as Chris Paul because Chris Paul would overshadow his retirement.

The Celtics should give Joe Mazzulla a job for life

Signed a multi-year extension back with the Celtics. They should just give him a job for life.

Happy Gilmore 1 is the funniest movie of all time

I'm just gonna get mad. I wanna just enjoy a movie and Happy Gilmore 1 is the funniest movie of all time.

Nikola Jokic cares more about his horses winning than winning NBA championships

It was abundantly clear that [Jokic] cares more about his horse winning races than he does about winning NBA championships.

UFC would be a better sport if there were more KOs and no gloves

There should be more KOs. No gloves. Too much defense. There's too much defense. I want more. They should be standing up and just throwing fist. Be a much better sport.

Coldplay staged the viral Kiss Cam moment for publicity

I feel like Coldplay might have set this whole thing up because we're talking about Coldplay online. Coldplay's getting talked about more than they've ever been talked about so much.

The World Series of Poker should embrace its bad boy William Kass to save the game from 'robot' players

The World Series of Poker is gonna do the opposite thing that they should do. They should embrace this guy because these type of people... you need personalities. You need people that are aggravating. You don't need people who are robots who are playing by an algorithm and just going through it.

Brian Steele is the greatest defense attorney of all time

Brian Steele might just be the greatest defense attorney of all time... he has beat racketeering charges for his clients for the second time... Young Thug... Sean Combs.

World War III is overrated and the term is being overused

My Who's Back of the Week is World War III. We're doing it again, boys. I think this is the fifth World War III that's happened in the last four years. ... I'm so sick of everyone saying World War III just started.

Jonathan Toews signing with the Winnipeg Jets is the perfect way for him to end his career

Jonathan Toews. He's back, he signed with the Winnipeg Jets, his hometown team. ... I'm happy he's able to now play again. Hopefully end his career the right way. 'cause it really sucked the way it ended in Chicago.

The era of the 'Featured Barber' and high-priced haircuts is officially here

The barbers are up... you pull up, they only do the app appointments... they're like 60 to 80 dollars... then there's guys down a little bit further down the street doing featured spots... book your appointment now.

Jim Irsay lived exactly how a billionaire NFL owner should live

I think Jim Irsay is the closest to how I would wanna live my life if I was a billionaire. He had a football team... He collected sick guitars... He lived how you should live if you are a billionaire.

The show 'The Librarians: The Next Chapter' looks like the dumbest show of all time

The librarians, the next chapter. They're showing these commercials in all these games. It like it. I can't believe it's a real show that is being made. It looks like this is the best whose guy ever dumb this fucking show of all time.

Running a marathon in six hours does not count as finishing a marathon

People do run marathons in like six hours and then they, and they, and then they post on Instagram... No you didn't. Six hour marathon is not doing it.

Abdul Carter is a loser for trying to take legendary Giants players' retired numbers

Is Abdul Carter a loser? I it's very weird. A weird tumble guy of all time... to on day one, go into your new company and be like, I want the numbers of the two most famous guys that everybody loves. Right. And, and again, the first one I get it, take your, shoot your shot. The second one... it's weird. He can't go his own way.

LeBron James only releases post-elimination injury reports to build a protective narrative for his legacy

With LeBron it's interesting because the, the whole like you know, build, building in your narrative. Your excuse after the fact. It's something he's done a couple times... but he always has to remind us that he's injured always. And to not play a hypothetical game, it was just so extra to be like, if game six had happened tonight, yeah. He would not be playing.

100 dedicated humans could easily defeat one gorilla in a fight

I think a hundred friends could be one gorilla. Everybody just gotta be dedicated to the shit. And that sparked a debate across the internet... I am firmly of the belief that a hundred people could easily be go a fight.

Kidney stone pain is worse than childbirth

Also, the doctor again for the second time told me that this pain is worse than childbirth. Which I will not be saying to any women, but it's true... I've given birth to like 13 kidney stones. I'm as tough as Philip Rivers' wife.

Donald Trump's weight claims are now just a bit to troll the media

He's actually lost weight. He's 224... 6'3" 224. So that is that's RG3... I think that he does that now. Like at first I think he was lying about it. Now he lies about it because he knows that people are going to make fun of him for lying about it.

Ja Morant's addiction to fake guns is the best addiction of all time

Ja Morant can't quit holding fake guns. It's the, it's the best addiction of all time. I respect the hell outta that... the NBA coming down on him for his fake guns is bullshit. Just ignoring all the history of Ja Morant with real guns. I love that shit.

The Impractical Jokers are 'sex creeps'

The impractical Joker suck ass... turns out two of the four creeps. Sex creeps. Allegedly. Allegedly. It was Joe and it was Myrrh. Allegedly. Okay. So Joe alleged, well I also wanna say for Joe, he has now checked himself into inpatient treatment. Smart for being a sex creep... Joe Gato is seeking treatment for, I guess being a sex creep. So he is been hitting up high school girls, hanging out with them, touching their stomachs, doing weird shit. And then Mur was allegedly deeming a bunch of underage girls too.

Hammocks are the most overrated thing in the world

I have a hammock take they suck. Most overrated thing in the world... It's thinking about getting out of a hammock. Getting out of a hammock sucks... They're uncomfortable. You're not taking naps in the hammock.

Nice furniture does not belong outside

Nice furniture should not be outside... the maintenance is not worth the comfort. It's fucking outdoors.

Borgs (Blackout Rage Gallons) are ratchet

My other, who's back of the week is... Borg. Blackout rage gallon. Foul... I've seen... people name 'em and stuff... it's so ratchet.

The NBA needs a Celtics-Lakers Finals for the ratings

The Lakers were scaring me. They've been, you know, they won eight straight. They were playing really well and it, you know the conspiracy of how does Luca end up in la? The NBA needs a Celtics. Lakers NBA finals for ratings. Yep.

The Dallas Mavericks made the 'worst trade ever' regarding the Luca/Kyrie era context.

It's still crazy that we're, they're somehow are making it worse. The worst trade ever. They're making it worse. [Context: discussing Patrick Dumont's comments on the Mavs' culture].

College basketball needs 'asshole' coaches like Dan Hurley to be interesting.

College basketball needs asshole coaches. That's what it was built on... I need a coach K, I need a like as much as I hate Coach K, he has that that like, ah, I hate him. I wanna root against him. Dan Hurley is that if you hate him, that's good for college basketball. So I want him to do whatever he wants to do.

Mike Vrabel is a fraud who relied on Prime Derrick Henry

Mike Vrabel is proof that one smart clock management moment in a nationally televised game buys you five to 10 years of NFL media thinking you're a great coach... Prime Derrick Henry is not walking through the Patriots door... He was a Derrick Henry merchant.

Everyone complaining about Cam Ward sitting out the second half of the Pop-Tarts Bowl is a loser

Anyone who was upset about Cam Ward is a loser and they're just basically looking for something to be angry about. ... He's also got millions of dollars on the line if he gets hurt. I don't understand it. ... Bowl games don't really mean anything and it's entertainment and it's kind of stupid but it's also fun.

Rickey Henderson is the best lead-off hitter of all time

Rickey Henderson... was such a awesome, awesome baseball player to watch. All his base stealing records are just insane... Best lead off hitter of all time.

LeBron James' absence was extremely odd and under-reported

He left the Lakers a few days ago... there was, you know, internet rumors circulating that he was maybe getting arrested. That he was disappearing... it was weird the way it was, you know, he left and with LeBron and the media, they, you know, will talk about him nonstop and it kind of got swept under the rug.

Analytics and the three-point shot have made the NBA tough to watch

It's analytics. I blame analytics... That too. Three point shot. That too. Dunk should be three... Imagine if they made dunks threes. Everyone was just trying to fucking yam on each other constantly. That would be sick.

Jake Paul took mercy on Mike Tyson in their boxing match

I guess credit to Jake Paul for not knocking out Mike Tyson. ... He had no chance of winning that. And Jake Paul took mercy on his soul, which should never happen in a boxing match. ... That third round was elder abuse. That was the round where Jake Paul was like, I'm gonna start unloading. And Mike Tyson couldn't move.

LeBron James wants Coach K to replace JJ Redick as the Lakers' head coach

I think this is LeBron wants Coach K as the coach Lakers and JJ out. Yeah, because it was a dream Coach K. And it was about Duke, JJ's team.