Takes

Society was better when people who performed mentalist tricks were treated like witches

We used to be a proper society. We used to drown those people, like witches burn them. Yeah. Like it's getting a little to the point where it's like, should we throw, should we throw some rocks at him at the town square?

The Milwaukee Bucks should not play Giannis Antetokounmpo for the rest of the season

I don't even think Milwaukee would want Giannis to come back and play... They should want to do whatever they can with this pick 'cause they don't have many of 'em. And Giannis probably shouldn't even wanna play and risk health and risk this contract extension that he can get before next fall. So the tanking is gonna get egregious.

The Patriots would have won Super Bowl 60 if the Cooper Kupp bobble had been challenged and overturned.

I don't know why they didn't challenge that in real time. That was like, that's a bobble. And then it was clearly was a bobble. If he didn't, if they didn't, if they reviewed it and it gets overturned, they didn't even get a field goal... I think we win. [Sliding doors effect].

The Patriots will win the Super Bowl by 50 points

Any divisional rival... Do I not want [Seattle] to win? ... Patriots by 50. That's what I've said all week.

The Super Bowl halftime show is for chicks

The Super Bowl halftime show is—is—is for chicks... I don't think the average NFL fan is like, man, I hope this Super Bowl halftime show is awesome. I don't give a fuck.

I bet on Josh Dobbs to win Super Bowl MVP

I got a massive bet on the Patriots. I also put a bet on Josh Dobbs to win Super Bowl MVP. The New England Patriot, big time Patriot.

Jared Stidham might have a vestigial tail that acts as a biological gyroscope for his balance

J Stidham might have a tail. An actual tail. ... Everybody was thinking that J Stidham might have a tail. ... if you have a tail, it helps you balance. It acts like a stabilizer. When you're twisting, when you're throwing, it's a biological gyroscope.

Nick Saban intentionally held back Curt Cignetti to protect his own coaching legacy

Did Nick Saban specifically not promote Curt Cignetti? Because he is like, 'Hey, if this guy gets a head coaching job, he's going to be known as the greatest head coach of all time. Not me.'... Nick Saban's been trying to keep the world from [Cignetti] for all these years.

Caleb Williams is significantly better than CJ Stroud

I don't think there's even, I don't think there's a debate who you'd take Caleb or CJ Stroud. It's not even close to a debate. No. And that's, Caleb wouldn't, it's crazy to be in this spot... CJ Stroud after his first year, he's completely regressed.

The NFL magnetized the goalposts to increase the number of 'doinks'

The goalposts are magnetized since the NFL put chips in the ball. Doinks are way up. I have zero data, but the timing is suspicious and the sound is too perfect.

Bo Nix's injury was a 'soft benching' by Sean Payton

Is this the most high profile soft benching of all time?... Think about it. If, if, if Sean Payton benched Bo Nix, everyone would riot. Now he's got a fractured ankle and he's going to Alabama and it's Diddy [Stidham], his guy.

The electrical substation next to the 49ers facility is causing player injuries by dehydrating their cells.

The wireless stuff, basically it dries you out on the inside. So have you ever taken a rubber band and like left it out in the sun and it goes from being nice and stretchy to being brittle and snaps? ... there's been a lot of research in the past 50 years... showing that it can cause cause harm at the cellular level by dehydrating yourselves among other things.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems... This guy went to the practice field with a gause meter. It read 8.5 plus milligauss.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

The 49ers are statistically the most injured team in the NFL over the past decade since moving to Levi's stadium... Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts. ... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems. ... This guy is saying that the Niners are just getting bombarded with electric waves all day, which is fucking up their bodies.

Curt Cignetti is one of the best hires in the history of any job ever

I think he goes on the Mount Rushmore of just best hires for any job ever. Is he the best hire ever? Yeah. For any job ever done. I would say Michelangelo, when he painted the Sistine Chapel, I think they nailed that one. Oppenheimer to build the atomic bomb. Okay. Mission accomplished... but outside of that, yeah, I think he goes on the Mount Rushmore.

Bo Nix is 'dog phobic' because he is secretly a dog himself

He is afraid of dogs because he's worried that deep down inside... he's gonna have to tell his parents 'I'm a dog.' I think he's trying to suppress his inner dog because he knows if he becomes the dog that bit him, it's watch out world. He got bit by a dog as a child and became a dog.

Lamar Jackson has radiation poisoning from getting too many MRIs

Do you think Lamar Jackson has radiation poisoning? Mm. From all the MRIs. Too many MRIs and all the x-rays... It might be like Chernobyl.

Joe Burrow is using a 'Jedi mind trick' to get the Bengals to trade him without asking directly

I think what [Burrow] is trying to do is make the Bengals decide to trade him so that he doesn't have to say, I want to be traded and get them to recognize he's not happy... I think he's trying to do the Jedi mind trick to get them to trade him without him having to ask to be traded.

AJ Brown will likely be traded by the Philadelphia Eagles this offseason

I won't be surprised if AJ Brown is traded in the off season. I think we're at the point where it makes sense for both sides for him to move on. They can find another receiver, they can make their offense go without him.

Caleb Williams' throw to DJ Moore was better than 'The Catch'

Caleb's Throw was better than Joe Montana's. He threw it from the 30. Joe Montana threw it from the 18. ... I liked it so much. I thought it was the catch. I sent it to Chris Berman. ... maybe a better throw and maybe a better catch.

Jayden Daniels is the worst quarterback from the 2024 draft class

My preemptive take of the year was right. Commanders would miss a playoffs and Jayden Daniels be the worst out of all the quarterbacks in 2024. [Big Cat: 'Michael Penix?'] He looked pretty good before the injury.

The Arizona Cardinals should fire Jonathan Gannon and hire Josh McDaniels

In the Cardinal's wildest dreams... Probably fire Gannon. Figure out a way to trade Kyler Murray. ... Hire Josh McDaniels. He's gonna get another shot.

Kyle Pitts will eventually have 20 touchdowns in one season

I predicted that Kyle Pitts will have the greatest year of any tight end of ever in year 20 in the NFL. He'll have 20 touchdowns. That's a fact.

The 'torch' has been passed to Drake May and it cannot be passed back to Josh Allen

The torch has been passed and that's it. It's over... Drake may has the torch and then it will go until we pass it to someone else... It can't go back.

The 'Blob' weather pattern could mean the end of the world

B-Big Cat, We are Earth could be finished. We could be done... There's a world, the blob never goes away... I do wanna say you're right. I was being dramatic there. Blob will go away, but it's sinking its toes right now.

The Kansas City Chiefs are officially eliminated from playoff contention

The Kansas City Chiefs have been eliminated from playoff contention... I just don't think that they can run the table because that's gonna be it. It's hard. These aren't the same chiefs.

The New York Jets will acquire Lamar Jackson from the Ravens next season

I do go to bed and I just thinking who's the next quarterback will be next season. And right now we're on Lamar Jackson... Ravens don't make the playoffs. Raven's good organization. They've moved on from quarterbacks in the past... we got like three years of Lamar.

If the Chiefs lose to the Colts this Sunday, they will miss the playoffs

If the Chiefs lose to the Colts this Sunday, they're missing the playoffs. Period. Point blank. It's just math. ... This will be the first step into them basically kind of the dynasty crumbling because if they lose to the Colts, I'm telling you right now, you can book it. They're not making the playoffs.

The Lions are frauds who only score points against terrible teams

Every—this, it's a Lions suck fest because they score a lot of points against shitty fucking teams... This is just what the Lions do every fucking year. They score a lot of points against shitty fucking teams and everyone thinks that they're the best.

A 'hot blob' and an 'earth tilt' will make the Chicago winter catastrophic and uninhabitable

Apocalyptic winter might be upon us. Why? I think it's inhabitable winter. We might just have to go out of country... High pressure, massive ocean heat wave up in North Pacific. The blob... They're saying 2013-2014 had nothing on this blob.

I can pass the bar exam without going to law school if I study for four months

I have irrational confidence in myself to be able to pass the bar exam. It doesn't make any sense. I just think that if I, if I tried for like four months... I think I can, I can be a lawyer.

The Kansas City Chiefs will miss the playoffs

Memes, did you say that maybe the Chiefs won't make the playoffs? I did. You wanna stand on that? Sure. Okay. Chiefs won't make the playoffs. Oh, you're saying the Chiefs won't make the playoffs. Whoa.

The Italian race is essentially finished because they are too attracted to Latinas

He told me today that Italians were done in this country... because a lot of them are attracted to Latinas. And so then they have kids with Latinas and then there's no more Italians. Jerry just looked at his own kids and was like, man, Italians are done.

The Colts are the best team in football right now

The Colts who are the best team in football... Their offense is absolutely electric. They are like, they're just well-rounded all the way through.

The Jets will not lose another game for the rest of the season

Honestly. Yeah. I don't think they should lose another game for the rest of the [season].

Wisconsin Football is currently the worst program in Power Four football

Wisconsin football just because they're the worst team in college football, Power Four college football. It's an absolute joke what's happened to the program. They haven't scored a touchdown in two games. The culture's broken, the program's broken.

Baker Mayfield's poor performance was due to helium-filled footballs

The rational side of the internet and sports fans understand that this is an inflategate situation. Those balls were getting thrown high for a reason, and I think it might be helium based... I think a back room equipment room job might have went down.

The Patriots are unequivocally better than the Buccaneers and the Eagles right now.

[Big Cat]: Are the Patriots better than the Bucks and the Eagles right now? [Hank]: Yes. ... laughing at you when you mention the Patriots being the best team in this podcast. ... now I think it's, you know, the odds are a lot better.

Virginia will make the College Football Playoff

Virginia guys is like Brady, Quinn. Like, they, they might make the college football playoff dude. Their schedule's awesome. They'll be 11 and one. And if they lose to Miami in ACC like 11 or 10 and two, whatever it is, they might be, that's the one team dude I think that's the one team that no one is talking about.

Every Philadelphia sports team should be blown up and started from ground zero

Done. Everything's done. Blow it up. Blow up. Start every single team from ground zero. No, I, every single one of 'em, I'm done with the union.

Jalen Hurts looks like the worst quarterback in the NFL

Jalen Hurts looks like the worst fucking quarterback in the NFL. He's a bad quarterback right now.

Saquon Barkley has been horrible all season for the Eagles

Saquon also all of a sudden sucks. Now that no one's talking about that. He's horrible. He's been horrible all year. The whole team sucks. Everyone sucks.

Patrick Mahomes is officially washed

Mahomes is washed. Washed. These two days under 500 he's washed.

Justin Fields is a loser

Justin Fields is perfect for this team... he's a perfect quarterback to lose games and that's it. That's all he is. He is a loser.

The 2024 Eagles are the worst 20-1 team in NFL history

Is this Eagle's team the worst 20 and one team in their last 21 games of all time... every, literally every negative thing that I've said about the Eagles this year has come from a place of extreme jealousy and also trying to stir Max up... I think the Eagles, yeah, they're the worst.

The Jets will not win a single game for the rest of the season

After last night's game, I don't think they're gonna win a game. I think they're gonna go... that team did not look like they could win a game.

The Patriots' ceiling is a Super Bowl appearance if they beat the Bills

I would like to put Super Bowl appearance. Asterisk... I think we're gonna shock the world this Sunday and then anything's possible.

Drake Maye has signs of playing better in year two than Tom Brady did

We got a long ways to go, but [Drake Maye] has signs, he plays better in year two than Brady did. Year two was a Super Bowl win, but he wasn't lighting it up as the quarterback.

Marcus Mariota might be the best quarterback on the Washington Commanders roster

I just said, I was just like, what if Marcus Mariota is the best quarterback on the Washington Commanders roster.

Pumpkins are useless food that only hippos and squirrels actually enjoy

I got a vendetta against everything pumpkin... nobody likes pumpkins, we're just forced to do a lot of stuff that we just forced to do as human beings... The only animal [that eats it] is the hippopotamus and squirrels.