Takes

Stealing the ball in basketball is unethical and against the gentleman's code

I actually, I don't know if you know this, but I called you before the tournament the most ethical hoops team in the entire tournament because you guys don't steal the ball a ton and you also don't foul a ton, so you just play straight up. That's ethical. A lot of teams are trying to steal — stealing the ball is actually against the gentleman's code of the game of basketball. Dr. James Naismith would not appreciate that. You guys do it in an ethical way. You just play good hoops.

Paul Skenes is broken after the World Baseball Classic

Paul Skenes is broken... World Baseball Classic hot seat broke him.

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday because he has enough people sucking his dick

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday by the way. Fuck, fuck that guy. He's got enough people to suck his dick and wish him a happy birthday. Awful announcing quote that. I hope I do it again next year.

I Show Speed is more famous than Tom Brady

Our conversation back here was Brady or Speed. I would probably go Speed. Brady's a big name though, he got a lot of rings, but I'd go Speed. I might take it back and go top one [most famous person at the field].

Darius Acuff is my favorite player in the tournament and I'd take him #1 overall in the NBA Draft

My favorite player in the entire tournament is Darius Acuff and the Arkansas and the way he plays. I would be a bad NBA GM if they let me be an NBA GM. Take him one-one because I fucking love him. He is a fucking killer.

My Early Final Four: UConn, Florida, BYU, and Akron

I'm gonna go Yukon, Florida, BYU, Akron... I'm gonna take Akron to win it all.

Mark DeRosa intentionally threw the game to Team Italy because of his Italian heritage

A lot of people were talking about, the last name [DeRosa] is Italian. Very Italian. And he seemed to throw this game to Italy. I'm just saying connect the dots. Paesan.

Shohei Ohtani was just playing against electricians in the World Baseball Classic

If you're talking about Shohei, you can literally say he was just playing against electricians. He got shut out by an electrician.

I Show Speed is globally more famous than Donald Trump

I do think that I Show Speed is globally more famous than Donald Trump... between the ages of five and like 37 is four makes up 48% of the globe. And I think a overwhelming majority of them definitely know who Speed is... I think Speed might [have] 4.1 [billion people] dude. I'll give 4.1 just for sake of argument.

Malik Willis is the #1 free agent backup quarterback

Top quarterback free agents... Is it also Malik Willis? Malik Willis is, yes. So he's number one. Malik Willis one.

Duke not winning the national title would be the most consequential sports story of all time

I think it would be the biggest sports story of all time. If Duke did not win the national title this year. All time. I think all time story... Duke not winning at all this year would be the biggest, the most consequential sports story of all time. Not our lifetimes of all time.

The Jets should trade three first-round picks to move up one spot and draft Fernando Mendoza

I heard that the Jets should trade three first round picks to move up one spot and get [Fernando] Mendoza. ... I think I probably would too if I was the Jets.

Pardon My Take has likely had a negative sociological effect on the intelligence of sports fans over the last 10 years

Our final boss should be some detailed researched article that is like the effective, Pardon My Take on sports fans. Like a negative thing. ... they can trace it back to all these kids that were listening when they were 12 and now they're fucking idiots as grown adults and they're going to games.

The show will perform a group porn if they make it to a 20-year anniversary

If we make it to 20, we will do a porn. A soft-core nine-way gang bang. Okie cookie.

The US should lobby to cancel Olympic hockey so we can remain the permanent gold medalists

Let's try to, if we win again, let's just try to get hockey canceled in the Olympics. So it just stays ours from now on. Like honestly, it's not good for the health and safety of the NHL players. It should go back to just being amateurs.

Liking chick flicks from the 2000s is inherently wrong for men

Liking chick flicks is wrong. They're gay. Yeah.

Ski Mountaineering should be a 'death sport' where the last person moving wins

My idea to actually make this a better sport, just like last person going... there's no finish line, there's no time. It's just the last person who's still moving. It's like a death sport. ... It's just like the epitome of endurance. Just have the last person moving wins the gold medal.

I could medal in a women's Olympic slalom event

What sport would become the most watched if they allowed trash talk... [Hank proposed putting athletes in different sports] ... Hank couldn't medal in a single woman's event. I agree with that. [Hank]: Slalom. ... Not in men's but women's. ... women's slalom turns are not that hard.

Michael Jordan winning the Daytona 500 proves he is better than LeBron James

Michael Jordan won the Daytona 500. I don't know what you're talking about... LeBron has not done that.

I will play twelve more years of professional football

I would love to play 12 more years. And that's just 12. [Big Cat: Wait, 12 more years, or 12 total?] 12 more years. I'm gonna be on 12 this year... I would love to. I'm halfway. In terms of my arm, it is just... I'm blessed... I'm gonna play 24 years.

Society was better when people who performed mentalist tricks were treated like witches

We used to be a proper society. We used to drown those people, like witches burn them. Yeah. Like it's getting a little to the point where it's like, should we throw, should we throw some rocks at him at the town square?

The Milwaukee Bucks should not play Giannis Antetokounmpo for the rest of the season

I don't even think Milwaukee would want Giannis to come back and play... They should want to do whatever they can with this pick 'cause they don't have many of 'em. And Giannis probably shouldn't even wanna play and risk health and risk this contract extension that he can get before next fall. So the tanking is gonna get egregious.

The Patriots would have won Super Bowl 60 if the Cooper Kupp bobble had been challenged and overturned.

I don't know why they didn't challenge that in real time. That was like, that's a bobble. And then it was clearly was a bobble. If he didn't, if they didn't, if they reviewed it and it gets overturned, they didn't even get a field goal... I think we win. [Sliding doors effect].

The Patriots will win the Super Bowl by 50 points

Any divisional rival... Do I not want [Seattle] to win? ... Patriots by 50. That's what I've said all week.

The Super Bowl halftime show is for chicks

The Super Bowl halftime show is—is—is for chicks... I don't think the average NFL fan is like, man, I hope this Super Bowl halftime show is awesome. I don't give a fuck.

NFL teams should hire gay GMs to avoid paternity leave issues

This is why I would, I would get a gay GM. Yeah. You don't have to worry about paternity leave. Be very meticulous when he is like studying the bodies going into the combine... GM's jobs are just to like, you know, like let this guy go gossip and be messy. Yeah. Like just unleash him on the league.

I bet $40,000 on the Patriots money line in the Super Bowl against Hank

What if I put a $40,000 bet on the Patriots money line in the Super Bowl? When it hits you get $80,000, then I keep the rest... [Hank] let's do that. Let's shake on that.

Mark Davis would 100% hire Chris Angel as head coach if the NFL implemented a 'Loony Rule' for interviews

Chris Angel... for the Raiders head coaching job. [A] Loony rule. Chris Angel doing mind freak shit in front of Mark Davis. He, Mark Davis would hire him. He'd hire him. He would a hundred percent hire him.

Jarrett Stidham might have a vestigial tail that acts as a biological gyroscope for his balance

J Stidham might have a tail. An actual tail. ... Everybody was thinking that J Stidham might have a tail. ... if you have a tail, it helps you balance. It acts like a stabilizer. When you're twisting, when you're throwing, it's a biological gyroscope.

Society will collapse and we are living in a simulation if the Rams beat the Broncos 23-14 in the Super Bowl

O's the Mentalist made a prediction for the Super Bowl... the Rams to beat the Broncos 23 to 14. If that does happen, I think we can all agree that this is all a simulation and everything is fake. Society will collapse if O's the Mentalist is right about his Super Bowl pick and the score... that is proof that none of this is real. We're living in a computer.

Nick Saban intentionally held back Curt Cignetti to protect his own coaching legacy

Did Nick Saban specifically not promote Curt Cignetti? Because he is like, 'Hey, if this guy gets a head coaching job, he's going to be known as the greatest head coach of all time. Not me.'... Nick Saban's been trying to keep the world from [Cignetti] for all these years.

Caleb Williams is significantly better than CJ Stroud

I don't think there's even, I don't think there's a debate who you'd take Caleb or CJ Stroud. It's not even close to a debate. No. And that's, Caleb wouldn't, it's crazy to be in this spot... CJ Stroud after his first year, he's completely regressed.

Bo Nix's injury was a 'soft benching' by Sean Payton

Is this the most high profile soft benching of all time?... Think about it. If, if, if Sean Payton benched Bo Nix, everyone would riot. Now he's got a fractured ankle and he's going to Alabama and it's Diddy [Stidham], his guy.

The electrical substation next to the 49ers facility is causing player injuries by dehydrating their cells.

The wireless stuff, basically it dries you out on the inside. So have you ever taken a rubber band and like left it out in the sun and it goes from being nice and stretchy to being brittle and snaps? ... there's been a lot of research in the past 50 years... showing that it can cause cause harm at the cellular level by dehydrating yourselves among other things.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems... This guy went to the practice field with a gause meter. It read 8.5 plus milligauss.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

The 49ers are statistically the most injured team in the NFL over the past decade since moving to Levi's stadium... Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts. ... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems. ... This guy is saying that the Niners are just getting bombarded with electric waves all day, which is fucking up their bodies.

If someone spits in your face, it should be legal to hit them with your car

I'll just say this, if someone spits in your face like that, you should be able to hit him with your car. I think. There's no overreaction to being spit on. [Spitting is] massive.

Curt Cignetti is one of the best hires in the history of any job ever

I think he goes on the Mount Rushmore of just best hires for any job ever. Is he the best hire ever? Yeah. For any job ever done. I would say Michelangelo, when he painted the Sistine Chapel, I think they nailed that one. Oppenheimer to build the atomic bomb. Okay. Mission accomplished... but outside of that, yeah. I think he goes on the Mount Rushmore.

Chase Brown will be the AP Offensive Player of the Year

I'm gonna say it right now. AP offensive player of the year. Chase Brown. Wow... Think about it.

Bo Nix is 'dog phobic' because he is secretly a dog himself

He is afraid of dogs because he's worried that deep down inside... he's gonna have to tell his parents 'I'm a dog.' I think he's trying to suppress his inner dog because he knows if he becomes the dog that bit him, it's watch out world. He got bit by a dog as a child and became a dog.

Tyler Shough would have been the first overall pick in the NFL Draft if people were able to pronounce his name correctly

I have maintained this. I've said this before on this show. If Tyler Shough had a name that everyone knew how to pronounce, he would've been one one. There will be documentaries on how did we miss this guy in the draft? And they'll be like, well, his name is kind of spelled weird.

Lamar Jackson has radiation poisoning from getting too many MRIs

Do you think Lamar Jackson has radiation poisoning? Mm. From all the MRIs. Too many MRIs and all the x-rays... It might be like Chernobyl.

Connor McDavid will leave the Oilers after the next three seasons

He's Gonzo win or lose. We have three seasons left with Connor McDavid. That's my opinion... after three years, so three more playoffs. I think that would've been 13 years for McDavid.

The Chiefs should just quit for the season now that Patrick Mahomes is out with a torn ACL

There's never been a team that like deserves to quit more than the Chiefs. They've been playing so much football for the last five years... Patrick Mahomes just tore his ACL. If you're a Chiefs player, listen to this right now. Just fucking quit. Just quit.

AJ Brown will likely be traded by the Philadelphia Eagles this offseason

I won't be surprised if AJ Brown is traded in the off season. I think we're at the point where it makes sense for both sides for him to move on. They can find another receiver, they can make their offense go without him.

Caleb Williams' throw to DJ Moore was better than 'The Catch'

Caleb's Throw was better than Joe Montana's. He threw it from the 30. Joe Montana threw it from the 18. ... I liked it so much. I thought it was the catch. I sent it to Chris Berman. ... maybe a better throw and maybe a better catch.

Pardon My Take's video content will be exclusive to Netflix starting in January 2026

Major news. ... in 2026, January, we don't have the exact date, but we have come to a deal with Netflix. So, Pardon My Take is going to be on Netflix. ... the podcast video will be exclusively on Netflix. ... literally nothing is changing [for listeners].

Jayden Daniels is the worst quarterback from the 2024 draft class

My preemptive take of the year was right. Commanders would miss a playoffs and Jayden Daniels be the worst out of all the quarterbacks in 2024. [Big Cat: 'Michael Penix?'] He looked pretty good before the injury.

The Arizona Cardinals should fire Jonathan Gannon and hire Josh McDaniels

In the Cardinals' wildest dreams... Probably fire Gannon. Figure out a way to trade Kyler Murray. Hire Josh McDaniels. He's gonna get another shot. Owners love a guy that's failed twice. Spectacularly failed twice.

Kyle Pitts will eventually have 20 touchdowns in one season

I predicted that Kyle Pitts will have the greatest year of any tight end of ever in year 20 in the NFL. He'll have 20 touchdowns. That's a fact.