Takes

Jalen Hurts is a winner who doesn't care about anything but the final result

Jalen Hurts in games that he has started and finished. He's 18 and oh in his last 18 games that he started and finished... The, the Eagles. And he doesn't give a fuck about how they just keep winning.

A Bengal tiger would kill a Jaguar in a fight every single time

I just looked at AI and a Bengal would kill a Jaguar like a hundred out of a hundred times. A Jaguar does have one of like the the fiercest bites in the animal kingdom. The problem is the Bengal outweighs the Jaguar by like 200 pounds.

Matthew Stafford will be 6th all-time in passing yards by the end of the year

Matthew Stafford also reached 60,000 yards. He's now 10th all time in yards... If he has 3,600 yards this year, he's gonna end end the season sixth all time.

Rajon Rondo is currently the number one ranked flag football quarterback in the nation

He is the number one ranked flag football quarterback in the country right now... there's all the basketball aggregators being like Rajon Rondo is currently the number one ranked flag football quarterback in the nation right now.

Aroldis Chapman is officially unhittable again

I didn't know Aroldis Chapman was just like Unhittable again. ... He's like truly unhittable again. ... 0.33 ERA over his last 30 appearances. That's insane.

Obama calls 'bullshit fouls' in pickup basketball

I heard from someone that's hooped with him [Obama]... I heard that He calls bullshit fouls... In pickup. It is Mark against his person. No, absolutely... Weak ass fouls and pick up basketball.

Fighter pay has increased with every new deal and will continue to go up with the Paramount Plus deal

Since 2001, the day we bought this company fighter pay has gone up. Every new deal that we've done, fight, pay has gone up and obviously fight or pay will go up for this deal. It's incredible for the fighters.

The Jets would be a playoff team if the season ended today

If the season ended today, [the Jets] would be a playoff team right now. Yes.

The Milwaukee Brewers never lose

The brewers do just never lose. I said it on Wednesday and they still haven't lost. They don't lose. They never lose. It's crazy. This team never loses.

A patella tendon rupture is the worst injury because players never return to 100%

This is the worst thing that can happen. There's been no player that's gone back to a hundred percent off this ever. Like, JC Jackson had the same injury and we know what happened to him.

A quarterback with long hair will never win a Super Bowl

If you have long hair, you can't win a Super Bowl as a quarterback. Never been done.

I got faster as a runner between the ages of 20 and 27

I got faster somehow. I'm not gonna lie, but is it really did I get super, did I get that much fast from 20 to 27? I wouldn't say now I just, I just got more efficient with my movements and there's no secret to it... when I'm here training, every Thursday I'm hitting high speeds.

I am currently in the best shape of my career.

[I am in the] best shape of my life right now. Was that partially because everyone called you fat online? No, don't care. Everybody Gotta have something to say. Something to talk about. That's just a life.

Sundays are easier than training camp because I don't have to face Lamar Jackson.

Sundays are way easier. Like, and sometimes when this dude, some of the stuff he be doing at practice, I be like, bro, I'm glad I'm not going up against that because nobody else in the league can do what he do... Lamar makes it easier going up against even other dual threat quarterbacks.

Nikola Jokic cares more about his horses winning than winning NBA championships

It was abundantly clear that [Jokic] cares more about his horse winning races than he does about winning NBA championships.

Getting hit by a pitch only hurts for about thirty seconds to a minute

My son looks at me, he goes, do you think that hurt? I was like, yeah, probably hurt. But it goes away after, you know, 30 seconds or a minute.

I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before pretty much every game of my career

I would eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before the game. I started that in the minor leagues... and I stuck with that even in the big leagues... pretty much every game [for 1,937 games].

Cutting dairy from my diet cured my chronic knee pain in three weeks

I was having knee issues and I was... I needed to make some adjustments... I told myself, I'm gonna do it [go dairy free] for a month... probably about three weeks into it, honestly, I felt so much better. My body just felt fresher... I attributed it to the lack of dairy at the time.

I had no intention of hurting Ruben Tejada during the 2015 NLDS slide

There was zero intention to fuck anybody up on that play... Obviously the outcome was different than other slides that I've had. I didn't anticipate actually hitting him nearly as hard as I did... I had no intention of hurting him whatsoever.

The Indiana Pacers were a physical and sneaky aggressive defensive team in the 2025 playoffs

I knew what it was going to be like Indiana, we knew how fast they were going to play and they were sneaky, aggressive defensively through the playoffs and nobody was really talking about it. But they were really physical.

The Home Run Derby's current timing format is too exhausting for players

I don't think people appreciate how exhausting it is for the players to take that many swings that fast. So it's something we will talk about with ESPN regarding changing the format.

Fixing blackouts is at the top of Major League Baseball's priority list

Blackouts number one are at the top of my list in terms of things we need to deal with. Ideally where you would like to be is if you have a digital home for baseball, you can go there and buy what you want to buy.

If I win the Open Championship this weekend, I should be the official Blake of the Year

I have proposed the idea that if Brooks Koepka wins the open championship this weekend, he officially gets your [Blake Griffin's] Blake of the Year title this year. [Brooks]: I'm not dead. Absolutely. I'm playing for all the Blakes. I would like, at some point in the interviews, I would like acknowledgement. I literally will just say Blake Griffin and then walk right out.

CONCACAF is rigged to ensure the United States doesn't win the Gold Cup

I join the chorus of those who were saying CONCACAF rigged. They don't want to see the United States win the Gold Cup. They'd much rather have it be Mexico.

I turned down hosting The Price Is Right despite a $10 million offer

I get a call out the blue and said, 'Hey, we're interested in having you host Price is Right.' And they said, Bob Barker signed off on you... I just didn't think I could do it well enough. It was $10 million a year [in 1999].

I am not an intercourse guy

Not much of an, not much of an intercourse guy.

The Cincinnati Reds have an illegally flat pitching mound to gain an advantage

Cincinnati's tough. That mound is so flat. I know they're supposed to have regulations on how high the mound is, but whatever they're doing, they're cheating for sure. Because it's way lower. Our mound at home feels like a mountain compared to Cincinnati.

Bratwurst has the worst physical aftermath of any competitive eating food

There's a couple that like, I know going in, they're gonna be rough. Like anything with bratwurst, bratwurst, man, there's, they add extra fat in there and it, it's, it's running through you. It, it, it, it's, you're not in control. It's there. There's, there's accidents bound to happen there.

I can eat two gallons of soft-serve ice cream in eight minutes

I'm thinking close to, close to two gallons worth. It'd be, it'd be like, so I did an ice cream contest and after the contest I was like shivering because I was so, like, it was like everything was cold. So I, I think close to two gallons would be in, in about eight minutes.

Ben Simmons hitting threes in a wide-open gym is the official sign of summer

We have the first sign of summer and it's Ben Simmons in a wide open gym hitting threes. He looked good. He looked so good... That's, that literally means summer's here.

The Celtics are rebuilt but no longer the same core

The real NBA news though, is Hank your Celtics, the championship team that you were on a duck boat with... is no more. Kristaps [Porzingis] gone. Jrue Holiday gone. Are they done?

The best indicators for a recruit's success are the uncles on the mother's side

If you can meet mom and then if you meet one of her brothers. The uncles from mom's sides are usually the greatest indicators of what you're gonna get... DNA means a lot.

I am the undisputed greatest chess player of all time

I'm not sure I'm the right person to, to ask really, but I don't mind. That's that's completely fine by me... I feel like I'm, I'm getting there. So, that's all I can ask for.

I am currently the best at every single format of chess

At the moment I would say that I, I'm definitely the best at every, at every format that we we play. And honestly, my closest competitors are still the, the old guys, guys around my age. So yeah, the kids, they're good, but they're, they're not quite quite there yet.

The 2025 NBA Finals is the 'Paul George Finals'

These are the Paul George Finals. Paul George was traded for, I think it was Sabonis and Oladipo. And then Sabonis became Tyrese Haliburton. And then also Paul George was traded from OKC that became SGA. It's the Paul George finals.

The 2025 NBA Finals is effectively the Paul George Finals because he built both rosters

We may be headed to a finals where both teams were built on the back of trading away Paul George. The Indiana Pacers traded Paul George to Oklahoma City for Oladipo and Sabonis. Sabonis developed as a player and then they traded him for Tyrese Halliburton. The Thunder meanwhile traded Paul George for SGA and seven pick swaps, one of which turned into Jalen Williams. It's the Paul George Finals.

Jim Irsay was the first NFL owner with the 'balls' to stand up to Dan Snyder

I will never forget the fact that he is the first owner to have the balls to say fuck you to Dan Snyder when Snyder threatened to blackmail every other owner. And he goes, yeah, try me. 'cause everything that I've done is out in the open.

The 2011 Miami Heat lost the Finals because they hadn't learned to sacrifice yet

After we lost in that finals, that's humbling. We all was very, we all got some humble pie very quickly... We realized we was trying to show that we could play together and we wasn't sacrificing at first, we were hooping.

NBA parity is officially back with seven different champions in seven years

Parody is back. NBA parody is officially back this now with the thunder beating the nuggets in game seven. There are going to be, it's guaranteed seven different champions in seven different years in the NBA. And we also have the chance for two franchises who've never won a title in Indiana and Minnesota.

Nikola Jokic is the best basketball player in the world and was since his rookie year

I thought he was the best basketball player in the world... I watched it and at the end of the practice they asked me, said, what'd you think? I said, I don't know who that fat kid is over there, but he's your best player. And it's not even close.

Jordan Hudson has appointed herself as Bill Belichick's agent and media manager

It turned out that she had appointed herself Bill Belichick's agent and was the one negotiating with Ben Affleck and Matt Damon... She was the one, or at least she had a very controlling interest in saying, we can't do North Carolina because we're doing that for something else... she was CC'd on every single email at Carolina by Belichick's request.

I gave my NBA MVP vote to Shai Gilgeous-Alexander

I actually voted for Shai. And it was a very, very, very hard vote... The Thunder had 18 more wins than the Nuggets. Right. At some point I don't always vote for the guy who's the highest in the standings, but at some point that matters. Right.

Florida is the favorite and Toronto is the least likely to win the Stanley Cup among the final eight teams

Florida one. Dallas two. Vegas three. Washington four Edmonton five... Winnipeg six, Carolina seven. [Leafs?] Leafs eights perfect. You what? I guys I can admit Edmonton's an underdog here. And they get through Vegas and, and, and, and I come back on like if they beat Vegas, they're number one.

Fierceness is two to three lengths better than any other horse in the Kentucky Derby field

I think [Fierceness] is two to three lengths better than any other horse right now in the field... I think if he's ridden properly, I think [Fierceness]'s, you know, clearly, clearly the horse to beat.

A prime Secretariat could not win a race with a 235-pound Big Cat in the saddle

No shot, Big Cat, no shot. I'm sorry to tell you that. [You would finish] probably dead last. Even if you were an accomplished equestrian, at that weight riding Secretariat? No. He'd be up the track.

Montreal's Bell Centre is the loudest sports building in the world, louder than LSU's Death Valley

That is the loudest building I've ever been in in my life. That is, that's louder than Death Valley. LSU on a Saturday night... I was amazed from, from the time I walked in until the time that I left. Like, they're pissed off. They're loud, they're super knowledgeable. It's crazy.

He woke up every day in January convinced he was going to be fired

When we were that, that stretch in January where we weren't playing well, I was woke up every day and told myself I'm getting fired if we don't turn. I'm, I'm, I'm done... and I would tell the staff too, I'm like, guys, we're done. Like, you know, we don't figure this thing out, you know, like we, we just, we don't deserve to coach here.

Kidney stone pain is worse than childbirth

Also, the doctor again for the second time told me that this pain is worse than childbirth. Which I will not be saying to any women, but it's true... I've given birth to like 13 kidney stones. I'm as tough as Philip Rivers' wife.

Jim Nantz's wallet toast card was actually a prank on a reporter

So the card is a prank, but he does like his Toast Nantz style... Nantz ordered his special brand of toast... I made sure the reporter saw the card and when he asked about it, I said, well that card has saved me a lot of hours.

Statistically, you must be in the top six after the first round of the Masters to have a real chance to win

Trent was saying that like, statistically speaking, you basically have to be top six after the first round. Like anyone past that is not eliminated, but almost eliminated.