Takes

James Franklin is leaving Penn State to become the head coach at Virginia Tech

James Franklin is using the Penn State private jet to move to Blacksburg... I am so pumped that of course. That's the other reason why a jet would go there... I do think that [James Franklin] is gonna be the next coach... somewhere else next year.

I will beat Hank in an 18-hole match play golf game for $5,000

I am now very excited about beating you [Hank] at golf and taking the thing that you love the most in this whole world away from you.

I can win the Internet Invitational golf tournament

I shot a 44 on the front today. I'm telling you guys, I think I can win the Internet Invitational. I think I can.

The Barstool office ice cream machine will finally be operational by Wednesday

99% chance there will be soft serve... We will be experiencing ice cream before July 4th break. Wednesday is when I want... Wednesday.

Helly is going to kill her father in the Severance Season 2 finale

I want death. I want multiple deaths. Oh, I think Helly's gonna kill her dad. No, I mean, she's showed... she tried to kill herself. They think that she's her daughter who's like the whatever of the company, but they don't know Hellie down there.

I will break 85 in golf by July

Break 85. That's my goal by... By July.

I will shoot an 84 in my first golf round of the year

I'll shoot 80. I guarantee I shoot 84 first round out this year.

I am officially going to learn how to dunk a basketball

I have a announcement for you guys. Ready for this? I think I'm gonna dunk. I think I'm gonna dunk. I've never dunked, but I think I'm gonna train in dunk.

The USMNT should reach the semi-finals in the 2026 World Cup

I think our ceiling is probably the semi-finals at the very best in the next World Cup... Quarterly finals in the World Cup. And we've got a good enough team. The players are good enough to do it.

People catching and eating cicadas at baseball games will be a viral trend this summer

We're gonna see more and more, I predict this summer of just cicada cam. Just people just grabbing a cicada and eating it on camera. . . normalize it.

I will give it my all and I believe I will be able to dunk

I'm in it. The bet's out there. It's 20, it's 20 k. ... I'm going to give it my all to be able to dunk. I think I'm gonna be able to do it. I know the haters and you guys and everyone in the world doesn't think I'm going to, but I I welcome that. I welcome that. ... The only way that's gonna stop me is injury.

I'm betting $100,000 total against the Oakland Athletics this season

I think I'm gonna bet a hundred thousand dollars total against either the Athletics or the Chicago White Sox every single game this season... officially decided I'm betting a hundred thousand dollars against the Athletics.

I will be able to dunk a basketball and hit twenty three-pointers within the next ten months

I'm going hard to dunk... summer, that's exactly my plan. I'm already over leveraged. What if I do both and hit 20 threes? I just have to basically change my entire lifestyle way of thinking and everything.

I will be in the best shape of my life when I turn 40

I have the double whammy of our birthday month is coming up and it's our last birthday in our thirties. And I am trying to tell myself that when I turn 40, I have to turn 40 in good shape in the best shape of my life... I'm going to put in a very concerted effort starting on Tuesday.

Wisconsin will shock the world and upset Number 3 Ohio State

Boys, I believe that the badgers are gonna upset and shock the world. And I know that this is how it happens to me... 20 years ago this month a freshman Big Cat stormed the field when Wisconsin... beat number three Ohio State. And 20 years later, a double digit underdog is playing number three Ohio State.

The Cubs will not make the playoffs after their September collapse

The Cubs have had just an epic collapse. The Cubs are most likely not going to make the playoffs because they don't have any tiebreakers. Suzuki just missed a ball, it went right by him. Easy catch. There's nothing worse than a September collapse.

I cannot run a 5K in under 33 minutes

I'm not gonna be able to run under 33 minutes. I'm not gonna be able to do that and I can't do that. Physically... I'm going to end up, I'm gonna get an injury. Like my back is gonna, is gonna come out.

The Bears are coming to get everyone in the NFL this year

My son, who's four ... keeps saying that the bears are coming to get him. I feel like that's a good thing for the bears season. ... The monsters of the midway are back.

I am going to start taking Ozempic to lose weight.

I'm just gonna go on Ozempic. I don't fucking care. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it and I'm gonna tell everyone to do it and then I'm gonna look hot and then I'll get off of it and then I'll gain it all back. Drop like 25 pounds and then just slowly gain it back.

I will become a scratch golfer by the end of the week

I'm gonna become a scratch golfer by the end of the week.

The Bruins are the greatest regular season hockey team ever and will dominate the playoffs

I'm all out on this team. This team is different. They're the greatest hockey team I've ever watched in the regular season. They're the greatest regular season team of all time. They're gonna dominate, they're gonna run through these playoffs.

I will join the 1,000 pound club naturally within a year

Challenge myself and I'm gonna get hurt. And that's gonna suck... I'm gonna try to do a thousand pound club, Billy... It's deadlift, squat, bench. A thousand pounds... I'm doing it all natural. No, I'm doing it. It's either all natural or can't do.

Anthony Richardson will be the #1 overall pick in the NFL Draft

I'm all the way back in on Anthony Richardson... he also knows I love value... Anthony Richardson +10,000 or whatever, 100 to 1 to go number one... I'm reading all the articles, trying to just will him to somehow become the number one overall pick.

I'm going to beat Billy McFarland in a fight and donate the winnings to the people of the Bahamas

Billy McFarland is down to fight you... Fire fist. Billy verse Billy... It's a battle for the people of the Bahamas. The good people of the Bahamas that sacrificed so much and got so very ripped off... I'm gonna beat his ass. Gonna skull fuck him.

I will cut my hair short by the summer if it doesn't improve

I'm dealing with my hair issue... noticeably thinning out back there. I've made the executive decision if it doesn't improve by the summer, we're taking it off. We're going short... I got my own blood injected into my head earlier today... if I haven't turned it around by then, gotta come home.

I am losing 25 pounds in 2023 for my 'hard body' year

2023 is a hard body year. I'm gonna get a hard body... I'm losing 25 pounds in 2023. Losing 25 pounds in 2023... January 1st, new me.

I'm betting on a Subway Series between the Mets and Yankees in the World Series

I'm putting in subway series, future. The Mets and the Yankees to meet in the world series. I think it's 14 to one... I just want to see it in this office and the chaos that ensues.

Ryan Fitzpatrick will return from retirement halfway through the 2022 season

Ryan Fitzpatrick just retired. Ah, damn. He'll be back. Yeah. That's not a real retirement. No chance. Halfway through the season, somebody gets hurt. [He'll be] back. No chance.

The PMT office 'jeans ripping' trend will end in a legitimate fight

We've found ourselves into a jeans ripping problem on this podcast... It's going to end poorly. I don't know how it's going to end, but I just know that no one's going to be happy and we're going to get into a small fight about it. And then it's going to be no more pants ripping.

Caleb Williams will transfer to the Wisconsin Badgers

I've fully bought into the fact that Caleb Williams might be a Wisconsin Badger and it's makes no sense. And his choices are between Wisconsin, LSU and USC... I've sold myself on it and I've sold myself on him coming. He's the number one recruit in all football.

I will get a Warzone win before the new season or I'll get duct-taped to a wall

A month and a half ago I was playing War Zone... I was like I'll get a win before the new season comes out, which is next Monday or Tuesday... if I don't you'll get duct tape to wall. I was like absolutely. There's no doubt in my mind I'll get that win. No problem at all.

I am going to watch sports on Sunday without gambling on anything

I got like a little bit of bad news... I'm going to watch sports on Sunday without gambling on any of them. So I have responsibly reached the end of my allocated fund for myself that I had through November.

I am going to partially ditch wearing my sunglasses on camera

I told him something that I've been thinking about for a while here, which is the sunglasses at, at some point can be a big hindrance to me... So I'm trying to think of ways to partially lose the glasses. And I'm also thinking that people are going to be pissed when they see my eyes, at least for a little bit. Not because they're like free guys. I think I'm a pretty normal looking guy.

You will never have a six-pack for next year's Grit Week either

I'm not trying to be a hater, but I don't think you'll have a six-pack for next grit week either. [to Billy Football]

I will be doing the play-by-play for the PLL doubleheader on July 31st

It is happening. July 31st, a doubleheader. I'm Peacock. I will be doing the play-by-play. It would not be possible without all of you guys in here... July 31st, doubleheader.

I will have a visible six-pack by the end of the summer

I'll have a six pack. You will never have a six pack. Yes, I will. All right. Great. How much time? Give me a month. By the end of the summer. Six pack summer. You're going to have a visible six pack? Yes. No chance.

The Washington Capitals are giving off 'team of destiny' vibes

I'm starting to get team of destiny vibes from the Washington capitals because caps back... in America, captain America, I'm starting to get team of destiny vibes and caps back, put a little tickler file on it.

I am going to blog seven times a week

Probably like seven [blogs a week]. I'm not going to blog about anything unless I seriously have a good opinion on it, and that's something I'll promise you.

The European Super League was a trial balloon that will eventually lead to it actually happening.

It's going to happen. The Super League's going to happen. This was a trial balloon that they sent out there.

The Suez Canal ship will be bombed if it is not fixed within a week

Eventually they're just gonna have to blow it up. Eventually someone's gonna launch a missile at it. Take it apart piece by piece. They're gonna drop a bomb on it if it's not fixed within a week. That's my prediction.

Drew Brees will not be a good broadcaster

I got a hot take. I don't think Drew Brees is going to be that good in the booth... There's going to be a wave of people being like, and as much shit as we give Tony Romo, he's objectively good... I don't think Drew Brees has a personality. I would sell all my stock on Drew Brees being good in the booth.

I will fight Darren Rovell anytime, anywhere for zero dollars.

My Fyre Fest is that Darren Rovell doesn't look like he's going to fight me anymore... I told Barstool, I said, 'I will do it for zero dollars.' And I removed all stipulations. Anytime, anywhere, I will fight Darren Rovell. Anytime, anywhere. He just loves being talked about... The only thing I will say is anytime, anywhere, if he wants to fight me, I will show up and I will kick his ass and I will do it with a smile on my face.

I am going to 'skull fuck' Jose Canseco in our fight

I'm going to skull fuck him. ... I'm absolutely going to skull fuck him. No doubt. He's tiny. I mean, yeah, he looks big. He's 270 pounds. But I just care about the frame. He has a smaller frame than I thought.

I am going to kick Jose Canseco's ass

I'm going to fucking kick his ass... I'm going to fuck him up. No, yeah, you are. Dude, I've hit the point in my athlete-to-weapon transition where it's like, the only way to win and to get this guy to stop punching me is I have to punch him harder to make him quit.

The Washington Football Team will win the NFC East and beat the Cardinals in the playoffs

I officially care, and I think that they're going to beat the Steelers on Monday... I think that the football team is going to win the division at 6-10, maybe even 7-9. I think that we're going to win a home playoff game against the Arizona Cardinals.

The Steelers have zero chance of winning the Super Bowl

It's the Steelers to win the Super Bowl 55 to 1 and I'm sitting here watching them go 11 and 0 and being like, well, it doesn't really matter... In the back of my head, I'm like, no chance. Zero percent chance.

The Chicago Bears can win the NFC North

I am all-in on Graham Mertz and in conjunction with thinking that Wisconsin is going to win the Big Ten West... I made a prediction today the totally won't blow up in my face. And that is that the Chicago Bears can win the NFC North they can.

Mitch Trubisky is going to win 10 games for the Bears this year

I fully believe that Mitch Trubisky is going to win the Bears 10 games. No, he is going to personally win 10 games. I can't wait for Mitch Trubisky screenshot season to come back. He's become a punch line, and you know what? He's about to punch back. Big time.

I'm pre-mad about how much the Mike Tyson vs. Roy Jones Jr. fight is going to suck

Mike Tyson is back. He's going to fight Roy Jones Jr. in September... I'm going to buy this fight... and it's going to suck. It's going to be sadder than the Kimbo Slice Dada 5000 fight. This is going to without a question suck and I'm going to get so excited for it.

I guarantee sports will be back in July

Sports are coming back in July. I guarantee it. ... Clip that. No, they are coming back. At some point in July.