Takes

An average person would not be able to lay down a fair bunt against a peak MLB pitcher in 100 tries

No [you couldn't lay down a bunt]. There's just so many things that I would do. Like I'd throw you high sinkers at your hands that it probably fell off your fist into your face... by the time you think you're going to swing, it's already too late.

Pitchers wearing warm-up jackets while on the bases is a terrible look

Absolutely hated it [pitchers wearing jackets on base]. I just think it's such a bad look... are you really that cold to where you can't wait a few minutes?

Perfect games are the rarest achievement in sports and Clayton Kershaw should have been allowed to finish his

Perfect games are probably the rarest thing in sports... like no hitters are nothing. I don't care about no hitters anymore... anyone else has a perfect game, I'm glued in. I want to be watching. That's cool. 23 over in the history of baseball. Some guys make their whole career off it. Oh, it's amazing.

Robot umpires will ruin the fun of complaining about baseball

That's been my take for a very long time. That robot ops will ruin everything because then we won't get to have guys like Joe West that we can complain about, right?

Gerrit Cole is a loser for blaming a four-minute delay on a bad start

Garrett Cole said that the game being delayed four minutes was an unforeseen challenge for him. He said the festivities got a little away from the schedule... he's just a loser. Before he came to New York, everyone just assumed he was like the bad-ass dude... then he comes to New York and he's just, he's like sweaty. And he can't answer questions correctly.

MLB should adopt the Savannah Bananas rule where a fan catching a foul ball is an out

Banana ball rule number nine, if a fan catches a foul ball, it's an out and it happened and it went viral... I feel like the majors should consider... if they did that to the majors, that'd be, that would change the game with home field.

Derek Jeter sabotaged the Marlins on purpose

I, you know what I agree with Marlins man. Yeah. I think Jeter fucked up the Marlins on purpose.

MLB will realize people don't miss baseball as much as they think if the lockout continues

If baseball doesn't start the season and play a full season, they're going to learn very quickly that they miscalculated the world's need for baseball. I wouldn't notice fully until like late June and be like, where the fuck is my baseball?

Bert 'Be Home' Blyleven is my best nickname ever

Bert Blyleven cause that's 'Be Home' Blyleven. Because you don't have to see... a kid and you heard from your parents 'be home by 11.' And as a parent you've told your kid 'be home by 11.' You don't have to be a genius to figure these out. That's probably the best.

Barry Bonds is the best baseball player of all time and should be the first person re-inducted into the Hall of Fame

Barry Bonds is a Hall of Famer. He's the best baseball player of all time. You could say that Barry Bonds should be the first—if you were to get rid of everybody in the Hall of Fame, Barry Bonds should be the first person re-inducted.

Babe Ruth would not even be a Double-A player in today's game

I saw a video, someone found a video of like 19-whatever the fuck he was born, he had a shitty swing. He looked slow and fat. If he was in today's day and age, he wouldn't even fucking be in AA. Who the fuck out of him put down field stands that I'm taking away his pinstripes. I'd probably strike him out.

The Astros should blow up the train tracks at Minute Maid Park

If you're the Houston Astros, you have to blow up that train station. You have to blow up those tracks because there have been so many iconic home runs that have found their way onto or through those train tracks in the history of your franchise in the biggest possible moments that you've had. You've got to blow that fucking thing up.

Joe West is a baseball great and deserves appreciation

Joe West is what we need. He's an all-time great. Joe West is baseball. And if you don't like Joe West, you got a dump in your pants.

Mets fans are really mad at Francisco Lindor, not Javier Báez

Javi Baez is actually not the one that I don't. I don't think Mets fans are actually mad at Harvey because Harvey is a rental. This is all Francisco Lindor. He signed a 10 year, 300 plus million dollar contract. He's ABI by his best friend. He's been doing the thumbs down. That's the guy that I think Mets fans are truly mad at.

I could easily hit home runs off Little League World Series pitchers

I'd love to fucking just Jack home runs off these little kids. This guy throws Gavin Weir could strike me out. Yes... But if you go up against one of the guys that's throwing 70 miles an hour, I would absolutely be able to take a lefty. I could go yard off a lefty that's throwing 70 miles an hour.

Aroldis Chapman is the sweatiest man in New York sports history

I mean, if [Aroldis] Chapman, like, if that's your closer, I can't who sweat, who's a sweaty or man Aroldis Chapman or Patrick Ewing and the history of New York sports cause a role does Chapman. He is able to accomplish Patrick Ewing, like levels of sweat in a much shorter periods.

High-fiving the opposing pitcher after hitting a home run is over the line

The high five of the opposing pitcher is over the line and I don't support it. The pitcher runs up to home plate, high fives the batter as he's running around... That's too much for me.

Major League Baseball made a mistake by having an outfield fence at the Field of Dreams game

I think if they play this game in Iowa, they should not have an outfield fence... It should just be the corn. If there's like a grounder that would bounce into the wall, they have to run into the corn and try to grab the ball... that's probably the biggest mistake that Major League Baseball has made this week.

Dodgers fans don't deserve Max Scherzer and Trea Turner because they haven't endured the bad times

You get jealous when they go and they put on another man's uniform and they were playing for another team and you see the other fans starting to root for them. And you're like, no, no, that's my guy. I feel like I'm getting cucked by another fan base. Like the entire city LA getting Trea Turner and Max Scherzer, it's a bad feeling, but I feel like they don't deserve them yet. They didn't go through the bad times of those guys.

The Home Run Derby has become way too complicated with clocks and Statcast data

The only reason I care about [the Home Run Derby rules] is because they took what was quite literally the simplest competition in sports, which is hit ball over fence... and then they put a clock in it. They added extra time based on a Statcast. They started measuring exit velocity. Timeouts should never be incorporated into the Home Run Derby. It's a very simple process.

A normal person would never get a hit off Jacob deGrom even in 1,000 at-bats

If you did one at-bat for a thousand days, I would say zero [chance of a hit]. Eventually, at you just be standing there and you just be pure guessing on time. The thing with [deGrom] is like, this ball goes like this... and then yeah. I mean, he throws 95-mile sliders and they look like fastballs till you go to swing at it.

Base running is the most difficult thing to do in baseball besides hitting

I know that it is the most... it's the closest to being a player as a coach. You are because you have to react as a base runner... Base running, everything changes every pitch and you are involved every pitch and you have to react off of nine people, not just the pitch in one person. There are more mistakes than anything else.

Rob Manfred should refuse to drug test Shohei Ohtani for the good of the sport

Rob Manfred, do not piss test Shohei Ohtani whatever you do. I don't care what he's on right now. The only way you could fuck this up is if you stuck a little test strip into a stream of urine and then you just were just a big bummer for America.

MLB is stupid for cracking down on 'sticky stuff' in the middle of a season

My whole point is you should fix it, but don't fix it in the middle of the season only after it becomes public because you feel like a fool for letting it go on and having it be an open secret for so long. ... Just because they got exposed, they're going to swing the pendulum of justice so hard. ... It's so stupid.

Triple plays should replace no-hitters because they are cooler.

Triple plays should replace no-hitters because they're cooler than no-hitters.

Anthony Rizzo's home run made everyone forget about his vaccination status

Anthony Rizzo was under fire on Friday because he didn't get vaccinated. But then he had like one of those 16-pitch at-bats where he had a home run... pretty much all is forgiven. And nobody's going to bring up the vaccination stuff after an at-bat like that.

Gerrit Cole should have just lied about using Spider Tack

Garrett Cole, here's a little PR I want to run for you. It's called lying. You just have to lie. And if you just lie, what will happen is people will print your lie. And then people will read that and be like, oh, Garrett Cole doesn't use spider tack. And then the story's over.

Society needs guys like Tony La Russa to protect unwritten rules

I just want to remind people, because I saw the public outcry against Tony La Russa, and I get it, but I want to remind people, If you chase off every single guy who is holding up the unwritten rules, eventually society will crumble. You need the old guy yelling at clouds. You need the Tony La Russa being like, that was Bush League for his own team.

Mike Trout is the greatest baseball hitter in the history of the sport

He is the greatest player I've ever seen. I was kind of arguing with my dad. I was telling him he might be the best hitter in the history of baseball and he didn't agree with me... Yes, he is the greatest of at least our era.

Baseball celebrations have gone too far in regular season games

For me, since I have played before, I will say I do think the celebrations have gone too far... I want to talk about on Twitter, but I don't really tweet anymore. It's just too much. Like the Tatis stuff... I like the 'let the kids play' type stuff, but it's also, I'm going to be in the minority in this... doing it in like a day game in Cincinnati in April, it seems like Game 7 of the World Series, it's a little much.

The best way to handle a veteran player who needs to retire is to fake an injury and put them on the IL

That's a very easy answer, and it happened to me once in my career. You just put him on the DL. That's all you do, or the IL, whatever. You throw him on there... You know, you got foot soreness and IL and then transfer them to the 60-day and you kind of forget about them and then, you know, maybe bring them back in September.

I like seven-inning doubleheaders and the extra-innings runner on second base rule

I liked the seven inning game. I liked the new rule of starting on second. I know that a lot of people don't like it. I think it's better just because there's nothing more than games going like 16 innings.

Pitchers who get upset about batters celebrating home runs are 'soft'

[Trevor Bauer] said, I like it. Pitchers who have that done to them and react by throwing at people or getting upset and hitting people or whatever, I think it's pretty soft. If you give up a homer, a guy should celebrate it... I'm all for it, and I think it's important that the game moves in that direction.

We are in the golden age of fans eating shit in the stands at baseball games.

I think we are in a golden age that we have to appreciate right this second with spaced out seating to just see awesome videos of people eating shit because think about it usually there's fans so you're not going to go for a ball right... Now it's just selling out.

You should be allowed to do anything to break up a no-hitter, but you must accept getting hit by a pitch the next day

My opinion on no hitters and perfect games, I think you should get to do anything to try to break it up, but you also should get to throw it at their head the next day.

Roger Maris is the real home run king

[The asterisk] represents like the real home run king in my estimation. ... [Mark McGwire] apologized to [Maris's widow] for the shame that he brought to that record and breaking Roger's record and it being so well known that he was juiced the whole time.

Ronald Acuña Jr. is officially the face of baseball

My cool throne is baseball because we do officially—I'm ready to call it—Ronald Acuña fully the face of baseball already. I just think Ronald Acuña, like, did you see what he did? He beat out the very routine infield hit... scores tagging up from third on a pop-up to the second baseman.

Baseball suffered the most from having no fans in attendance

I'm very excited about baseball season because baseball, I think, was the sport that suffered the most not having fans in attendance. It didn't feel real with nobody in the stands. There's something about going to a baseball game in the middle of the day in the summertime.

The defensive shift has ruined baseball

I'll do it. I'll say it. The shift has ruined baseball. Let's be fucking Peter Gammons on it for a second... The shift has ruined baseball.

Baseball is the only All-Star game that actually works

I really don't understand like the all star games. They just don't. Baseball is really the only all star game that really actually works because you can't not throw hard. It's one on one. It's just like no one's even playing.

Throwing a no-hitter on LSD is the most impressive athletic feat of all time

He should try doing it on LSD like Doc Ellis did. If you want to talk about the most impressive athletic feats of all time, I'd say throwing a no-hitter on LSD is probably number one and number two.

The Mets should have brought up Tim Tebow just to sell tickets

My prediction was that the Mets should bring him up because they weren't selling any tickets, and they should have brought him up several times to the big leagues because Tim Tebow puts asses in seats. That's just a fact. People would go out and watch Tim Tebow strike out three times before they would go out and watch the Mets win 30% of their games at home.

Jose Canseco is not a real fighter; I have seen him hide in the dugout during brawls

Jose is not a fighter. I see personally drill him. Drill him. And half of the team was in the middle of the field when we turned around. Jose is still in the dugout. Jose is not a fighter. Jose just wanted you to show him respect and love when he was playing.

Barry Bonds is the greatest baseball player of all time

Tom Verducci filling out a baseball Hall of Fame ballot and leaving the greatest baseball player of all time, Barry Bonds, off of it.

Baseball Hall of Fame voting should be left to the fans

Leave it up to the fans. Let the fans vote. You buried it. Maybe because you've convinced yourself over the years that you're so important that everybody should look up to you because you get to check a piece of paper.

The Houston Astros were flat-out cheating, not just looking for an edge

To have some guy on a computer and a button sitting in the video room and seeing what the catcher's putting down—I mean, that's, there's no place for that in the game. That's, you know, that's cheating. That's cheating. That's not looking for an edge. That's flat-out cheating. And, you know, I was pretty disgusted with it. I'm not going to lie to you.

Barry Bonds was easy to pitch to because the best strategy was just walking him

Barry Bonds, he was the easiest guy in the league to pitch to. I mean, because you throw him fastballs away, and if it mattered at all, you just walked him. So he was like, no stress. That dude was so easy to pitch to. It's his fault for being as good as he was.

Baseball was actually my best sport

I always feel like baseball is actually my best sport... if I really had focused on baseball, you know, out of high school, I was going to be a top pick out of high school... I never really got to fully blossom fully in my baseball career... out of high school and stuff that baseball was actually my best sport.

Pulling Blake Snell from the World Series was a mistake driven by numbers over gut

I think he [Kevin Cash] went with the numbers and didn't go with his gut... Blake Snell, no pitcher really should want to come out unless they injure themselves... he wasn't close to being done.

I am rooting for the Houston Astros to make everyone angry

I'm a hundred percent rooting for the Astros. It would make so many people angry... so many Yankee fans angry and so many Dodger [fans]... it would make so many people angry that I think we have to root for that.