Takes

UFC would be a better sport if there were more KOs and no gloves

There should be more KOs. No gloves. Too much defense. There's too much defense. I want more. They should be standing up and just throwing fist. Be a much better sport.

Ultimate Dick Kicking is a better combat sport than Power Slap

We got a new combat sport that we have to start paying attention to guys, it's better than Power Slap. It's better than arm wrestling. It's the ultimate dick kicking championship. Two guys just stand across from each other and kick each other in the dicks until one guy gives up.

UFC overtime should consist of a five-foot octagon where fighters punch each other until someone wins

That should be overtime in all the UFCs just stand, they they shrink the octagon. Yeah. and just like five feet in diameter, just stand in there and punch each other until somebody wins.

I could beat up Amanda Serrano in a boxing match

I said the one thing [Amanda Serrano] might have me on is cardio, but if I could... I'd keep her at bay with my jab. She would never get inside me.

I'm going to beat Billy McFarland in a fight, and it's going to be a public execution.

I'm gonna beat his ass. Gonna skull fuck him. It's gonna be sick. This is gonna be a public execution. He's gonna be a Christian in the Colosseum and he's gonna get fed to the lion.

I would beat the fuck out of Darren Rovell in a fight, make him cry, and force him to delete his Twitter.

I wanted to wipe [Darren Rovell] off the internet. He'd have to delete his Twitter if I beat him. I would beat the fuck out of Darren Rovell. I would smash his nose in. I would make him cry.

I am 30% responsible for Dmitry Bivol's victory over Canelo Alvarez

How much of your win goes to Billy Football? [Bivol: 30%]. He taught me through the ball, you know, like right hand. [Billy: Activate the shoulders. I liked that].

LeBron James would obviously beat Mike Tyson in a street fight because of his size and reach.

LeBron James would obviously beat up Mike Tyson. He's way bigger, Billy. Dude, reach. He's bigger. Mike Tyson... LeBron James is like 6'9". And LeBron's tough. He's never flopped.

I would literally kill Jake Paul in a boxing ring

Jake Paul's 5'7"? If I got into a ring with him, I'd literally kill him... I'm just bad enough of a boxer that he'd take the fight because he's like, oh, this guy looks big, but he's not that good of a boxer. So he like I might beat him.

I am 100% confident I could beat up Darren Rovell

Listen, I'm going to beat the shit out of Darren Rovell. If you were to ask me, name one person in the world that I'm confident that I could beat up, it's Darren Rovell. I don't think anybody in the world couldn't kick Darren Rovell's ass.

I'll fight all three of you tomorrow at the same time — MMA rules

How about if I fight all three of you tomorrow? At the same time. But we do MMA. How's that?

I'll take a dive tomorrow if you guarantee me A-Rod in the ring

If you guarantee me I can fight A-Rod here in Barstool, I will take a dive tomorrow. That's how bad I want that punk bitch.

I am going to 'skull fuck' Jose Canseco with my fists

My hot seat is Jose Canseco. I'm going to skull fuck him with my fists.

I would fight Jay Mariotti for charity at the United Center

Jay Mariotti. He went after me so bad... I told him, I said, let's go to United Center for three rounds. You pick to put the money in, whoever wins. You give the money to charity. It's still on. If I want to do that, if I want to do charity in Chicago, I don't mind.

I would 100% beat the shit out of Jake Paul in a boxing match

By the way, I'd 100% beat the shit out of Jake Paul. He wouldn't touch me. They'll never fight me because I actually would beat them. They only choose guys they know they can strategically win with reach.

I am going to kick Jose Canseco's ass

I'm going to fucking kick his ass... I'm going to fuck him up. No, yeah, you are. Dude, I've hit the point in my athlete-to-weapon transition where it's like, the only way to win and to get this guy to stop punching me is I have to punch him harder to make him quit.

I would rock Jake Paul's shit because I have fewer commitments than anyone else

I legitimately have the least amount of commitments out of the whole company at this moment... I also like to work out and have endured a good amount of head trauma, which make me suitable for boxing... I would make him think I was easily beatable, but I would rock his shit.

A boxing match between me and Jake Paul makes perfect financial sense as a promotion for the Barstool Sportsbook.

Hypothetically, we need to promote the Barstool Sportsbook app in a new state where it's launching. We do this event sponsored by the Barstool Sportsbook... all that sponsorship money pays for Jake Paul to make the fight worth it, dude.

I would fuck up Jake Paul in a fight 100%

I will fuck up Jake Paul 100%. He's small. He's 5'7 at the tallest. I looked at a picture of him next to Dave Portnoy, and they were the exact same height... I have a bigger reach than Jake Paul. I would totally be able to pick him out from the outside.

I could beat Jameis Winston in a boxing match

Watching him box—I actually think I could beat up Jameis Winston and I'm not a good boxer. Wow. He looks like a beginner out there... I hereby challenge Jameis Winston to fight me in Rough N' Rowdy... I'm a wide five-nine. I'm like a chode. My arms are longer than those of a five-nine man... If I fought Jameis Winston straight up, I'd just double leg him and take him down.

Max Kellerman could beat Derek Carr in a fight

I might take Max Kellerman in a fight against Derek Carr. I would. He talks about boxing a lot. If you talk about fighting a lot, I assume that you can at least handle yourself a little bit just by osmosis.

Tito Ortiz is literally one of the dumbest human beings on planet earth

I think that [Oscar De La Hoya] is getting a lot of this information from Tito Ortiz who is literally and I'm not just saying this to be real he's one of the dumbest human beings on planet earth he's primate level this guy

I could knock out Floyd Mayweather in a punch-for-punch contest with training

We flip a coin, and you get to punch the other person. No hands up, no movement, no anything. And I would knock him out before he knocked me out... I need at least three months to train my neck.

I am going to kill Dylan 'Tex' Stone at Rough N' Rowdy

My hot seat is Dylan [Tex] Stone. He's the person I'm fighting on Friday, December 15th at the Rough and Rowdy. It might be just because I'm all hyped up on pre-workout right now, but I'm going to fucking kill him.

The Floyd Mayweather vs. Conor McGregor fight will have one billion pay-per-view buys

Sal Pal said there's gonna be 1 billion pay-per-view buys... One billion. People even said, like, hey, Sal, I think you got your stats wrong. He's like, nope. One billion pay-per-view buys.

McGregor will pay goons to bet on Mayweather so he can lose the fight and still get paid

I think that McGregor is sending out a bunch of his goons to every single casino, putting money on Floyd Mayweather to win in the first round, and then he's going to come out and just shoot him, take him down, do like a double leg, beat the shit out of him, and then lose the fight, but he still gets paid like a few million dollars for winning.

Chael Sonnen is a compulsive liar who needs rehab to stop lying

That's a lie from Chael. He's a compulsive liar. The guy needs to go to rehab to stop lying. He's a compulsive liar. And his father's turning over in his grave right now.

Cyborg Santos is only 'hurt' despite a fractured skull because Russell Westbrook played with a similar injury

So hurt or injured. I'm saying hurt. simply because Russell Westbrook had this same injury. He dented his face, and I think he scored like a billion points after that.

UFC should start a drug-friendly 'Rogue Fighting League' on boats in international waters

Or it's my my third my third option here is you just start your own fighting league where like all sorts of drugs are okay you do a nine-sided ring instead of eight sides kind of one-ups ufc international waters so there's no testing right on boats yeah definitely on a boat

I could knock out Floyd Mayweather in a punch-for-punch fight

Punch for punch. I get three months to train my neck... Punch for punch. I could knock out Floyd Mayweather. People forget Floyd Mayweather is like 140 pounds, and I'm like 230, baby... As long as I can train my neck, that's the only stipulation I get.

Beating death in the ring is the same as beating Jesus

You mean to tell me the nigga lost the Kimbo Slice but beat Jesus? ... If you beat death, that's beating Jesus. Like, Jesus died for our sins, right? So, technically, anybody else that dies, it's because Jesus died, too. So, like, I say that puts you right above Jesus.

50 Cent lied about winning the Golden Gloves

50 Cent is so much of a fan of boxing. First of all, he lied and said he was a fighter. 50, you said you won the Golden Gloves. You came in New York City, came up where I came up at. I won the Golden Gloves every time I fought in them. I know everybody around here. 50, you did not fight in the Golden Gloves.