Takes

The $1.2 billion valuation of the Enhanced Games is a fake number.

The enhanced games just got valued at $1.2 billion. And the enhanced games... are the steroid users alternative to the Olympics. It's being run by Peter Thiel. It sounds like it's a fake valuation because it just sounds good to say $1.2 billion.

NVIDIA's DLSS 5 is an AI takeover that is hurting graphics and animation jobs

Nvidia did a, our, oh, I don't know the stock hand off the top of my head... they announced a product DLSS five. So they're, they're bringing AI into like video games, animations and like graphics. So like kind of boxing out guys. Like people who, like jobs that would've been done by humans are now more getting outsourced. AI not cool.

Wendy's is having a 'rebuilding year' in fast food

Wendy's is to close hundreds of restaurants in 2026. And what interim CEO Ken Cook calls a rebuilding year. ... They're tanking for draft picks. Trust the process.

Sydney Sweeney will become a billionaire through her new bra business venture

Sydney Sweeney's getting into the bra game and it's over. It's a wrap. Probably the most No doubt... Sydney Sweeney bras, this is going to, she's gonna do well. Congrats to Sydney Sweeney becoming a billionaire.

Brian Rolapp is being sent to the PGA Tour to eventually facilitate Saudi investment in the NFL

What's the biggest challenge facing golf right now? Getting everyone to play in one league. He's being brought in I think in large part to figure out that framework, make a deal so that Liv and PGA get back together... and then he is gonna come back to the NFL in a few years and be like, okay, we're opening up the potential investors in NFL teams to foreign investment funds.

Sports owners should be forced to sell if their team doesn't make the playoffs for five consecutive years

I think they should have a new rule in own, in, in all sports that if, what call it five years, if you don't make the playoffs in five years, automatic sale. Like whatever the threshold is, that would be awesome. 'cause relegation is never gonna come to American sports. But if you could relegate owners that would be sick.

Boeing should be on a hotter seat

Boeing explodes during maintenance at an Atlanta airport killing two Delta employees. I feel like they should be on a hotter seat. I wish I knew if I was flying on a Boeing or not... allegesly. But don't kill me.

You shouldn't stop printing money; you should print even more to solve inflation

You gotta go through the wall. So like when you're like, oh we printed so much money that it doesn't like it's not worth anything. That's when you print even more money. Right. You can't quit printing money. You gotta be committed to printing the money.

Boeing whistleblower John Barnett did not commit suicide

There was a whistleblower... John Barnett... His body was found the morning of three nine dead. He was allegedly from suicide even though he told his family, if I die, it's not suicide. He was suicided.

The narrative that AI is an existential threat to humanity is a marketing ploy designed to make the technology seem more advanced than it is

The people who are being terrified about AI and all this buzz about AI taking over everyone's job, taking over the world. That's marketing. That the AI people are trying to get out there to build buzz about AI and also make you think it's advanced.

Bar managers will be completely lost on Week 1 of YouTube Sunday Ticket

They are going to have to figure out how to get YouTube on all their TVs at once. And they, they are gonna be completely lost week one of next year... Bar owners week one. It's gonna be a shit show.

Sam Bankman-Fried was exposed as the biggest dork alive after his arrest

It's the fact that like to the regular world, I count myself in that where I'm not really into crypto. He just got exposed as being the biggest dork alive. Like I saw a picture of him and I heard his voice and I was like, this guy's a fucking dork.

Sam Bankman-Fried is the latest Bernie Madoff

My hot seat is crypto in general. Sam Bankman-Fried from FTX is the latest Bernie Madoff right now. It's been in the news. He had I think about $40 billion and now he has $0 because his entire platform went bankrupt.

5G radars will ground all US air travel

Turns out a bunch of the airline CEOs said that the new 5G radars that are getting put on for telecommunications, once they get turned on, it's going to affect a bunch of their planes landing. And that they're going to have to ground all US air travel tomorrow.

Robert Kraft's investment in a Call of Duty team is a genius move

Robert Kraft bought a Call of Duty team... everyone says that buying these roster spots is a waste of money... I would have agreed with them until Robert Kraft bought the top spot. Now genius investment.

NFTs are becoming more valuable than diamonds

Turns out there's a bunch of new diamonds that are fake, but no one can tell the difference... De Beers is totally panicking because now diamonds have no value. So Hot Seat: Diamond... NFTs are kind of more valuable than diamonds, I think about it.

Spirit Halloween will have a massive year because of vacant retail space

I think also this is going to be a huge year for Spirit Halloween because we had so many businesses that totally went out of business over the last year. There's so much more retail space. There could be one on every single block.

Guy Fieri's $80 million contract extension with the Food Network is a total bargain

Guy Fieri... signed a three-year, $80 million contract extension. It's a bargain. If you're the Food Network, you've got to have your guy. You've got to have a star.

The NFT bubble has not yet burst because Rob Gronkowski is entering the market

This is how you know that the bubble has not yet begun to burst. When Rob Gronkowski gets in as an early adopter, he's probably just selling his memories.

Bitcoin investors will die rich without ever spending their money because they're obsessed with being 'right' about the currency

The whole point of being rich is to spend money and do cool shit. Bitcoin people just... in the next 10 years it's going to be the only currency that exists... there's going to be at least a few people who die and they're like they're going to be on their deathbed and they're going to be worth 100 million dollars they didn't spend any of it but they're like but I I was right.

Humans are more effective and cheaper than robots for retail inventory

Walmart has stopped using robots to do inventory because they realized that humans were actually just as effective and cheaper. So cool throne humans.

Costco's co-founder threatened to kill the CEO to keep the hot dog price at $1.50

The Costco co-founder... got mad at the CEO of Costco said, 'Hey, we're losing money on our dollar fifty hot dog deal. I think you got change it up' and the co-founder of Costco's like 'If you change that deal, I'll kill you.'

Apple purposefully throttles iPhone battery life when a new model is about to be released

My iPhone on Saturday started, like, rapidly losing battery, getting way overheated... and then I Googled it... iPhone 12 coming out soon. Oh, it's fucking every single time. I don't understand how they're able to get away with this.

Data visualization designers and bow tie manufacturers are the secret winners of the pandemic economy

I actually think bow ties are getting a big boom because every time I turn on CNN, there's a fucking weirdo doctor... what do they do wear a bow tie. The people who are making the the gifts of like, you know, like the spread of coronavirus the charts. It's got to be off the charts for them right now.

Elon Musk is actually a front for Jeff Bezos

Elon Musk is actually Jeff Bezos. It's his front. So Elon Musk is like we're going to go to Mars... so everyone talks about him and then Jeff Bezos is in the background doing the real shit doing the drones doing all that.

Mark Zuckerberg is going to run the world and we should all start bootlicking him now

The guy who just stole the world's privacy and helped rig elections is now going to control our money... I'm going to start bootlicking the shit out of Mark Zuckerberg because he's going to, like it or not, he's going to run the world. So you might as well get on his side early.

The Bitcoin exchange CEO who reportedly died with the passwords is not actually dead

There's no way he's dead, right? There hasn't been a good fake death in a while... He is living it high with, he's probably fucking whales with John McAfee in wherever the hell they are.

Big Baller Brand is a better investment than Nike or Adidas because it is privately owned

Nike stock down because the Kaepernick stuff obviously, Adidas stock down. You know what stock's not down? Big Baller Brand because it's still privately owned. That's how you do it. Big Baller Brand's about to have a windfall from this.

Facebook is officially done as a relevant company

I'm calling my shot. I'm going to put the PFT death stake is going into Facebook right now. Wow. They're done. Have you been on Facebook recently? No. It's trash... it's all ants, trolls, and ants.

Elon Musk is a total fraud.

I'm so here for Elon Musk, like, just having meltdown after meltdown because everyone realizes he's a fraud and, like, promising people to go to Mars. ... Elon Musk... Total fraud.

Puma is on a five-year comeback in the sports world

I think Puma's going to be on the comeback. Remember when players started going to Adidas a few years ago? Everyone was kind of shitting on it... Now Adidas is back. Puma's on the five-year come-up.

Jeff Bezos is building rocket ships just to liquidate his $100 billion

He figured out that the way that he's going to be able to spend money is by just building rocket ships and just going to different planets. That's the only thing that he can do to liquidate $100 billion in a lifetime, so that's what he's going to do.

Taco Bell's CEO is the perfect hire for Chipotle

Chipotle just hired Taco Bell's CEO. And we all know that Taco Bell never causes any sort of intestinal discomfort. ... It's really the only hire that you can make if you're Chipotle. Like, who else in America knows how to package tortillas, rice, tomatoes, cheese, meat, and sour cream?

I want to take out high interest loans to invest in Steven Seagal's Bitcoin 2Gen

I don't want to overreact, but I want to take out some high interest loans just so I can invest them in Steven Seagal's Bitcoin [2Gen]. That's how confident I am in this.

Now is the best time to buy Bitcoin

Isn't now the best time to buy Bitcoin? I'm going to buy more Bitcoin. That's the plan, right? You've got to reinvest. That's just investing 101.

Bitcoin is the future and will replace physical money

You think that the dollar bill's in your pocket right now? You think they're going to last forever? You think money's going to last forever? Okay, so Bitcoin's the future, baby. There's not going to be money in the future. There's going to be Bitcoin.

Yahoo's name change to Altaba is a brilliant way to hide from the public eye

I have Yahoo on my cool throne because the best way to secretly get out of the public eye is just have a vaguely foreign sounding company by you and change your name. And just claim that your entire company was satire.

Instagram Stories will be a massive threat to Snapchat's market dominance

Originally, Snapchat completely had the market, but now Instagram is coming in hot... Instagram, Mark Zuckerberg literally took Snapchat and just added it on Instagram... It's going to be a battle.