Takes

Ohio State has a 0% chance of losing to Indiana

I said, nope, I'm just going to say it on the show. There's a 0% chance Ohio State loses this game [to Indiana]. So now if it happens, it'll be funny.

Nick Saban smiles for less than two minutes after winning a national championship

Oh, fellas, you said two minutes. I'd take the under. I really would. That's a lock of the decade. Because even after we won the national championship, in the locker room, not kidding, we have the crystal ball in hand... He went into the locker room and said, 'hey, guys, great job... you know that's not how we play in the second half.'

Under 4.5 SEC teams will finish in the AP Top 10

Over, under, four and a half [SEC] teams in the top 10 at the end of the season? I'm going to lean towards the under... I'm going to jump wholeheartedly on the under four and a half teams in the top ten.

Ralphie the Buffalo is actually a female

People forget Ralphie's actually a woman. I knew I was right. Ralphie has been called one of the best live mascots in sports, and she is often erroneously labeled male.

I would not return to coaching even for a $100 million offer

Why would I do that? I would have stayed doing what I was doing. So I was ready to make $6 million almost at Oklahoma. Already built, already ready to roll. [Even for] $100 million. Obviously, it's not about money. So, no, I'm good. I'm good.

Lincoln Riley is the right character and guy to lead Oklahoma forward

Lincoln's the right guy. He's got all the right attributes and character to be the guy to continue to lead the program forward. And I knew that. And I believed strongly that the administration would believe that as well. And so it could be as seamless as could be.

Mike Gundy has decided to be a crazy person for the rest of his career as a branding move

I think what happened was he went out and he saw how good it felt to say something crazy and be perceived as like a crazy dangerous person in public that he's like you know what I'm just going to be fucking nuts for the rest of my career that's my brand that's what I'm going with I'm going to out crazy Mike Leach.

Brian Kelly knows he is on the hot seat at Notre Dame

Brian Kelly knows that he's on the hot seat. I mean, the people in the facility, the players and the coaches know that if they don't improve, things are going to change. So going into this year, Brian Kelly knows that he has to improve, and hopefully they can.

Alabama could win 10 games with my dick as offensive coordinator

At the very least, Chip's going to win 10 games at Alabama because Alabama could win 10 games with my dick at offensive coordinator.

I would bet against Michigan making the College Football Playoff in the near future

I wouldn't lock that down. I mean, it's possible, but I'm not going to be one of these, well, anything's possible. Well, not really. I would probably bet against Michigan [making the final four].

Clemson will win the National Championship against Alabama

Clemson.

Kirk Herbstreit's take on players sitting out bowl games is invalid because he wasn't an NFL prospect

[Kirk Herbstreit] forgot to mention the fact that he only started one season at Ohio State and he wasn't good enough to play in the NFL, so that wasn't even an option for him.

Neither Penn State nor Wisconsin will make the College Football Playoff

No, neither team is going to get in [to the Final Four]. And the committee, let me tell you how this works... they wouldn't have put Michigan at number five if they really were anticipating putting the winner of this game in.

Penn State will win the Big Ten Championship game

I like Penn State. I know you didn't ask me, but I'm going to go on the record and say Penn State, and then nothing else changes in the Final Four.

Clemson is the only team with the speed to match up with Alabama

The team, when Ohio State beat Alabama a couple years ago... athletically they had the players to match up with Alabama. And I think right now that Clemson fits in that same mold. The only team that I don't like against Alabama really is Washington. I just don't think that they got the overall team speed to run with Alabama.

Ed Orgeron is officially the greatest interim coach of all time

Is he officially the greatest interim coach of all time? His last head coaching stint at Ole Miss, where he went 10-25... he's won more games as an interim coach than a head coach.

The next Texas head coach is already on the hot seat

My hot seat, the next Texas coach. Just throw him on the hot seat right away. Because guess what? Texas winning culture. Haven't won in a while.

The loss to Kansas is the definitive end for Charlie Strong at Texas

I want to do basically what I think is the dagger in Charlie Strong's contract and job there in Texas... Kansas, the dagger in Charlie Strong's heart. Can you believe it? A new coach is now going to be at Texas and at LSU.

Being ranked outside the top four in the College Football Playoff provides motivation for the Washington Huskies.

I actually think that it's going to provide us some good motivation being outside of the top four. Don't let the kids get complacent. Don't let them start reading all the headlines. Flip the script on them a little bit. Control our own destiny.

Butch Jones is on the hot seat at Tennessee

My Hot Seat's Butch Jones. South Carolina took the big L to them. He's had a rough season. They had some national championship hopes. They've lost a lot of games, so I think he's on the hot seat.

LSU will lose this week because Coach O cannot handle the extra time of a bye week

I think LSU's fucked this week. My sabermetrics is you can't give Coach O two weeks to do anything. Coach O has to have a game a week... You don't spend 14 days studying 2 plus 2 equals 4. That's too long to study that.

Washington football is officially back.

Washington [Huskies] might be back. Well, they like to say like, oh yeah, Washington went to that Rose Bowl like 25 years ago.

Tennessee is a lucky team that will eventually run out of luck.

Tennessee has been the Les Miles team this year. Les was good for a really long time, but then he would have four or five games that he had no business winning, that he would luck into. And then, like, you get off to a hot start, and then your luck runs out, and when it runs out, it runs out hard. Real hard.

LSU will look like a completely different team under Coach O

I think you're actually going to see a lot of stuff, a lot of different stuff from LSU when they take the field Saturday night against Missouri.

LSU will win their first game under Ed Orgeron because of the 'interim coach boost'

There's no chance that LSU doesn't win their next game. Coach O, he's the fiery guy.

Do not schedule North Dakota State because they will stomp you

Do not schedule the [Bison] because they will stomp you if you do. Add Iowa to the list of teams that have gone down to the Bison. Now Minnesota, Kansas, Kansas State, Iowa State, Iowa... have all been beaten and stomped on by the Bison.

Alabama will beat Ole Miss because their defense isn't good

I'm going Alabama. I think they get it done. Yeah. I'm not sold on the Ole Miss defense at all.

The SEC is dead in 2016 except for Alabama

Do you think the stories about the SEC being dead are correct? I do, except for Alabama. because Alabama looked good last weekend against USC.

Notre Dame is heading in the wrong direction

If you had to describe Notre Dame for the last seven years, it's perfectly this. Are they back? Question mark. They've been almost back, sort of back, never fully back. But I think now they're going the wrong direction. Now they're set back.

LSU does not have a good quarterback and will continue to struggle passing the ball

Turns out LSU doesn't have a good quarterback. Oh, you think? No doy. The 10,000th year that Les Miles has a quarterback that can't throw the ball.

The Washington Huskies are the #1 surprise team and a dark horse for the national title

My number one surprise team this year is the Washington Huskies... I've got Washington as my number one surprise team this year.

Northwestern will hit the over on 6.5 wins

Northwestern, six and a half. I'm going to go with over... I'm going to have to go with over the six and a half.

Ohio State will be a playoff team because they remind me of the 1986 Hurricanes

I like Ohio State. They remind me a lot of our 86th University of Miami team, Hurricanes. We had 12 players drafted. Ohio State had 12 players drafted. Everyone thought that we were gloom, doomed the next year, and we came back in 87 and won the national championship.

Mississippi State is going to struggle this year because Dak Prescott is gone

I'm going to say Mississippi State is going to struggle a little bit this year just simply because we don't have Dak Prescott on the field anymore for us.