Takes

BYU has a zero percent chance of getting into the College Football Playoff

I have something against people who think that BYU has any chance, any chance, like not even a .001% chance of getting into the college football playoff... BYU is not getting in.

Alabama will crush Auburn in the 2020 Iron Bowl

Iron Bowl. Alabama's going to fuck Auburn up. The stat I've been throwing out there... Nick Saban is 6-0 all-time against Auburn as 14 or more point favorites. So when he has them, he has them.

Wisconsin's football season is effectively over

My fire. First two of them Wisconsin's football season is over pretty much that sucked

Northwestern vs. Maryland will go under the point total

I'm slipping into the warm and comfortable feel of a Northwestern Under against Maryland this weekend because the total is at like 54.5... Northwestern scored 12 points per game in the conference last year Maryland scored 16... 16 plus 12 does not equal 55.

Every college football team should be eligible for bowl games this year regardless of their record

Every single team is eligible. I hope that they make 200 bowls. I hope they make the maximum amount of bowls, even if it's like a bunch of teams that have one win have them play all together... the shittier the team the better.

Managing COVID-19 protocols is more important than roster talent for winning in 2020

I think more important than everything to win this year's is who handles COVID the best, who handles social distancing the best so that they can have the best players out there.

The Big Ten will officially announce its return tomorrow

I do think the big Ten's going to be back. I think they're gonna announce it tomorrow. There's a there's a mini power play inside the power play that Nebraska was feels like Are the team that spearheaded this

The Big Ten will likely miss their target return date of October 10th.

The target date is October 10th. That allow them to play 10 games and then they could get into the playoffs whether they get to the October 10th date, which I doubt they are. That was what their plan was.

Sir Yacht's reporting on the Big Ten is completely fabricated

Sir Yacht is a choose-your-own-adventure source. He's wrong all the time, a hundred percent of the time. He pretty much makes it up. But if you want to live in a fantasy land like I do, listen to Sir Yacht and ignorance is bliss in this respect. I do love the fact that like twice a week the Big Ten comes back.

College football is in real trouble for the 2020 season.

I'm still believing [Kirk Herbstreit]. He said that all college football's in trouble and I actually think that's true now.

The Big Ten football season will actually happen despite the current cancellation

Big Ten football is definitely going to come back. Yeah, for sure. So there's a petition... Justin Fields started it... I would say conservatively I've signed it 75 times. ... I would say there's a 10% chance that I think that this fucking stupid petition online is going to actually change something. Well, so when I say 10%, obviously I mean like 60%.

The SEC will delay the college football season as long as possible to avoid canceling

I think the SEC is going to do... full on fucking mode, or at least like we're going to delay, delay, delay, delay until the very last second. They might even delay again. Right now the kickoff is September 26th... they might just push it back to October.

The idea of a spring college football season is ludicrous because of the lack of recovery time

The pros get five and a half months off and college kids are college players are given two and a half months off from pad to pad... that is a ludicrous thought to say. Oh, yeah, the pros are getting over five months off before they put on pads and you're going to do it to college students in two and a half months.

Top college football players will not play in a spring season

The one thing you are going to miss is you won't have one big player, one top player... why would Justin Fields, Trevor Lawrence, any big time player? They're not playing in spring because the NFL is under no guidelines to move their draft back to help out.

The Big Ten will announce they are canceling the college football season on Monday

As we're sitting here right now, it feels like the Big Ten is going to announce that they're canceling on Monday. And then who knows what's gonna happen? Like I could still see the SEC being like fuck everyone were playing.

Bobby Bowden is one of the most underrated coaches in college football history

I think Bobby Bowden is one of the most underrated coaches. He had a 14-year stretch where the Florida State Seminoles finished in the top five. That's insane. Coach Bowden was a wonderful human being, very personable, very spiritual. He's like a father being away from home.

The Ivy League canceling sports will force every other conference to follow suit

I don't know how any of this is going to work. And I guess that segues to college football feels like we're in a bad spot and fuck the Ivy League again. They started it. As soon as they canceled I was like this is gonna get everyone because the smartest guys in the room are like, 'hey, we don't think it's safe' and everyone else feels pressure.

Dan Wolken had the worst take of the year for laughing at LSU's hire of Ed Orgeron

Dan Wolken... tweeted in 2017: yesterday a college football coaches agent called me. He said LSU hired Ed Orgeron. We laughed for a few minutes. So good job, Dan that turned out to be the worst take ever. Who's laughing now bitch? Haha.

Peyton Manning never beat Florida while at Tennessee

Peyton Manning national championships at Tennessee zero... Also I beat Florida once. He never beat Florida people forget [Peyton Manning] never beat Florida.

Chuba Hubbard's protest marks a major power shift where college players finally realized their leverage

When [Chuba] came out and said that I'm not going to play... that to me was a major major shift in power in college football. Because he said that his team was lined up behind him. And if enough players were to say something like that... they have a shitload of power.

Paul Finebaum's take on Nick Saban running out of time is just a result of him having no other takes

Paul Finebaum has run out of takes so his take now is that Nick Saban is running out of time. Oh, like we all like he's on the downside of his coaching career. He's 69 and he's going to be 69 this year. So he's like, yeah, he's too old.

College football is the one sport where fans matter the most

College football is the one sport where I think fans matter the most. Yes, we need we need football in the fall. So hopefully NFL I can watch NFL games without fans and I could bring myself to do that. But if we got Springs football on the other side then boom.

I am guaranteeing a Fiesta Bowl victory against UConn

I am guaranteeing a Fiesta Bowl Victory guaranteeing no way I lose in the field. If you don't what if you lose I will not because I'm going to change the slider so much in my favor.

The NCAA will never give up a football season because they need the free money

I think that college is there's just no chance that they're going to give up entire football season. They're gonna figure out a way to make their free money like without that free money... if they miss a football season, they might have to just declare bankruptcy.

Oklahoma deserves a one-year ban from the College Football Playoff

Oklahoma deserves a one-year ban from the college football playoffs. Their performances, I'm sick of it. ... Every year, halfway through the season, Oklahoma loses a game. ... and then they start playing defense. Everyone's like, you know what? Oklahoma's defense, not that bad. Not true. They are still bad.

Mike Leach will be successful at Mississippi State because you have to do something different in the SEC

I always thought, like, at Mississippi State, Ole Miss, you have to do something different. Because, like, you're not just going to line up and beat Alabama or LSU. Like, you're just not going to have the talent there. So I think it's a good fit.

LSU is in the conversation for the best college football team of all time

Doubting them was the... I mean they are in the conversation for best college football team of all time. They beat five out of the top eight teams. They destroyed everyone. They had the best resume of any college football team to ever exist.

Nick Saban appearing on the championship telecast while LSU won was a weird move

I don't think I would do it soon as LSU is there I think I'm like, you know what I'm gonna sit this one out... why don't I mean to have your arrival win in you're doing the I don't know. I don't think I would do it. So Saban became a meme I think for a minute.

Nobody could have ever stopped LSU's offense this season

I really don't think anybody ever could have could have stopped this. I mean we were we were just rolling we had I mean I could just throw up a I could throw the ball with my eyes closed. My receiver is going to go catch it. That's that's how we felt and We were just playing with so much confidence.

It's not fair that I'm 23 years old playing against college kids

I'm graduating I'm 22, and I'm 23 years. So I can do whatever ask me whatever the hell I want... I mean, we it's really not fair. How old I am but I'm playing against these [college kids].

Texas will make the College Football Playoff within the next five years

Give me one or two teams that hasn't been there [the CFP] that you could see realistically being there in the next five years... Texas... I believe in [them].

Greg Schiano will win more than 7 games in his first two seasons back at Rutgers

Over-under wins for Greg Schiano in his first two years. Seven... Over. Because I would imagine he took that job and can finagle maybe that second-year schedule.

Mike Leach in the SEC is a match made in heaven for entertainment

Mike Leach in the SEC, a match made in heaven. Maybe not from a football standpoint, from an entertainment standpoint. Lane Kiffin versus Mike Leach in the Egg Bowl. I hope it happens for 50 years.

Wisconsin will never be a national title contender

Wisconsin never going to be a national title contender. The Rose Bowl is the Super Bowl and I'm fine with that. Some people call that loser talk that's called being a realist fan.

Notre Dame will not win a national championship anytime soon

Are they gonna win a National Championship? Not soon. I don't think so. They're not bad. They will be in that college football playoff picture every year to be a top ten team... but there are some things that make it much more difficult at Notre Dame to win a National Championship.

Clemson will beat Ohio State in the Fiesta Bowl

I have a future on Ohio State, but I think Clemson is going to beat them.

LSU will crush Oklahoma in the Peach Bowl regardless of the spread

Was it 13 and a half right now? Yeah, 14, 13 and a half. Fuck it. Make it 21. I still like LSU.

The UCF vs. UConn 'Civil ConFLiCT' was never a real rivalry to the players

We had no idea that that was a rivalry game or we were playing for a trophy. We just thought it was another game. I think there has to be some sort of agreement when two teams want to become a rivalry, like equal hate or whatever.

LSU and Clemson will meet in the National Championship game

I actually think it's gonna be LSU Clemson in the final... yeah I'm going to agree I mean this might take a loan out.

Dabo Swinney is doing 'loser talk' by complaining about hypothetical playoff snubs

This is loser talk by Dabo Swinney because what he is doing is he is setting the table... for everyone to be like it's unfair that they're not in the college football playoff if they did happen to lose to Virginia. So he's just so far deep in his own mind of perceived hate that he's getting mad about an outcome that's not going to happen.

Clemson is a top-four team but it's fair to say they haven't played anyone

Clemson is a top four team in the country, Clemson might be the best team in the country. But at the same time they have played no one. Like it's okay to say that they've played no one yet they still are very very good.

LSU will beat Alabama outright

I think LSU is going to, at bare minimum, score a touchdown for the first time in three years. I agree with that. And then I think they're going to win... I think they're going to win outright.

NCAA athletes being allowed to profit off their likeness means the EA Sports NCAA football game will return

Athletes are allowed now to profit off their name and likeness. Yep. DeColdest is going to make so much money profiting off DeColdest. Does that mean we get the EA Sports back? I think we do right that we get the best the conclusion everyone jump to and I'm going to say yes until proven otherwise.

LSU might put up 50 points against Alabama in Tuscaloosa this year

We got a quarterback [Joe Burrow] for the first time in a while. We might put up 50 points against Bama in Tuscaloosa. ... Hey, if we pass the 50-yard line, we're putting up 50.

Clemson will reach the National Championship without playing an impressive game

Clemson is still undefeated... Clemson is going to go all the way to the National Championship or the college football playoff without having to play one impressive game because the ACC stinks.

Joe Burrow will win the Heisman Trophy

Joe Burrow, MVP. Heisman. [PFT Commenter] Probably heard of him. Joe Burrow looks like a Heisman guy. This year, he looks fucking amazing.

Texas is officially 'not back' because their field looks like baby diarrhea

Somebody pointed out that the color situation on the broadcast cameras change at Texas depending on what network is running the game... It changes depending on how back Texas is... I was like, they're not back because that field looks like baby diarrhea. Officially not back.

Trevor Lawrence will be a good NFL quarterback

I scouted in person. Go Tigers. I think Trevor Lawrence is going to be a good quarterback.

The LSU offense is going to 'explode' this season

We always spread offense man. I'm excited about it with the talent we have the quarterback we have. I'm looking forward to this offense is really exploding the season.

The Tennessee football program is suffering from the Curse of Greg Schiano

24-point favorites. I'll say it. Curse of Greg Schiano. All you crazy Tennessee fans on Twitter. Thank you, Big Cat. Led by someone, I don't know, decided to oust Greg Schiano before he could even get the job and bring back Phil Fulmer.