Takes

Lindsay Vonn crashes every single time she is hyped up to ski.

I basically, every time they say, Hey, Lindsay Vonn's about to ski... she's gonna crash. I woke up and they were like, Hey Lindsay Vonn competed this morning and she crashed.

V.J. Edgecombe's NBA debut was the best since Wilt Chamberlain

VJ Edgecombe. Absolute beast. That's how, that's how you rebuild right there... Best NBA debut since Wilt Chamberlain. Wow. It's crazy. It's a crazy stat. Most points in his NBA debut since Wilt Chamberlain... 34 [points] in a win over the Celtics.

Opening Counter-Strike skin cases is officially back

My who's back of the week is going to be Counterstrike cases specifically opening them... They went CS:GO case unboxings, $590,000 in cases they unboxed. Unprecedented territory is what we're approaching there.

Morgan Wallen is fully back after his recent controversies

Morgan Wallen... he had some controversies, you know, throwing a chair over their ledge... I just feel like he was a fantastic star. I think he's so back.

Victor Wembanyama will kill everyone next season after training as a monk

I do feel like this is gonna be [Wembanyama] fucks everybody up next season because he's Yeah. He's figured out like secret ancient martial arts.

Jim Irsay was the first NFL owner with the 'balls' to stand up to Dan Snyder

I will never forget the fact that he is the first owner to have the balls to say fuck you to Dan Snyder when Snyder threatened to blackmail every other owner. And he goes, yeah, try me. 'cause everything that I've done is out in the open.

The Celtics are officially 'all the way back' as title favorites

The Celtics waxed [the Knicks]... it's back on. All, all the way back on. The last five, they've won each by minimum 13.

The NFL should not change the playoff format to strip division winners of home games

NFL might change the playoff format where division winners get an automatic entry but not necessarily home field in the first round. This would suck. NFL is what makes the NFL great. Winning your division should mean a lot. Don't overreact to one year.

Ohio State will beat Oregon in the Rose Bowl

The Rose Bowl's gonna be awesome. I think I'm gonna take Ohio State in that game. And it's mostly based on the uniforms that Oregon picked. I didn't really like 'em, I thought they should have done more classic.

I will fight anyone who says Indiana shouldn't be in the playoff

I will fucking fight. If you find someone online who's saying Indiana should not be in the college football playoff—tag me snitch. Tag 'em. I just—I wanna fight 'em. I just love the, on the streets of the internet.

I will cut off the tip of my pinky if the Falcons win the Super Bowl

Falcons are not winning the Super Bowl. Guaranteed. Falcons are not winning the Super Bowl. That's, I I believe it end the season. Tip of the pinky. If the Falcons somehow win this game on Monday night, I have to also have the Rams.

Team USA failing to medal in 3x3 basketball is a national disgrace

Our three on three basketball team got eliminated. Didn't medal... Disgraceful so bad... I don't even know. How the fuck is this possible? Also, why don't we just send our, why isn't Jalen Brown in three and three?

The 2024 White Sox are a historically bad anomaly, worse than the 1940s Phillies

The Chicago White Sox who are on a 20 game losing streak... If you just erased their 14 game losing streak and their 20 game losing streak, they would still have the worst winning percentage in baseball this year... Only two managers in baseball history have at least 200 games managed for the same team, and a winning percentage under 333... Pedro Grifol and a guy named Dr. James Prothro, who managed the Phillies during World War II.

The winners of the John Deere Classic always stay in the same rental home in Illinois

For the last three years, each winner of the John Deere Classic has stayed in the same rental home in Illinois. Whoa. It's officially the trophy house. Davis Thompson, SEP Straka, JT Poston.

Charles Barkley's retirement announcement is just a leverage play

I don't buy it. I don't buy it. I don't buy it. He's too good. That's just what you say at the end of the year. He's just doing, he's he's said a million different things. He's like, well maybe I'll just hire everyone and we'll have a new, we'll bring it over here. Maybe I'll retire. Maybe w he's just, I love Charles Barkley. I love, love, love Charles Barkley. I don't buy it. Charles Barkley could talk about anything on TV and I would watch. Yeah. It doesn't matter what it could be.

Bryson DeChambeau will win the U.S. Open as an homage to Payne Stewart

I think this is it for Bryson [DeChambeau]. If Bryson comes and wears, because remember he used to wear the scaly cap. Payne Stewart. I could see it happening. As a homage to Payne Stewart. I'll call my shot right now.

Oleksandr Usyk was the deserved winner over Tyson Fury

Tyson Fury lost, Usyk beat him in 12 rounds. It was an awesome fight... the right fighter won... Tyson Fury's in Deep Water because I knew he's the type of guy that if you're like Tyson Fury's done. Yeah. He'll come back and he'll just knock someone else out.

Rory McIlroy only wins the tournament immediately preceding a Major

Rory, I feel like he's the king of winning the championship right before Major. Then everyone talks about him. It's a major week. Rory's back. He's gonna win a major and then he like misses the cut. Rory fooling us about him being back.

MLB will fix the uniform lettering and sweat-wicking issues by the 2025 season

There was a report that came out that basically said Nike fucked up the uniforms. We're working to fix 'em. We're gonna get the bigger names in the back of the jerseys and everything should be fixed at the latest, at the start of the 2025 season.

The obsession with velocity is destroying MLB pitchers' arms

Everyone's obsessed with velocity... everyone just looking at the numbers being like, you gotta throw a hundred, you gotta throw a hundred. And arms are just getting pushed to this max at a early age and everyone's destroying their arms.

Spring football (UFL) will never be relevant because the sports calendar is too crowded

I'm, I've never been more confident in my take that spring football. I just don't care. I, I feel very good about that because I've, every, every few years they try to pop one up and be like, you should care. I respect the sports calendar more than anything. This is March Madness. This is gonna be masters. This is gonna be NBA and NHL playoffs. Football is king. I love football more than anything, but not spring football.

The 'pregnant' stingray Charlotte isn't actually pregnant and is just fat

Charlotte, the pregnant Stingray has still not given birth, which makes me think this might be a publicity stunt... if a shark had relations with a female Stingray who is pregnant even though she hasn't seen a male stingray in eight years... we need a conclusion to this. Otherwise she's just fat.

Joel Embiid ducked Nikola Jokic in Denver

We were robbed of Joel Embiid playing in Denver against Jokic. 15 minutes before the game, he's like, no, I don't wanna play. I wanna duck... He hasn't played in Denver since 2019. He likes to play Jokic at home and then he's an 'out' guy... when they get to Denver, his knee hurts.

Shohei Ohtani to the Dodgers is not more impactful than Jackie Robinson

Ben Verlander... said that Shohei Ohtani to the Dodgers is the most important signing in Dodgers history... Jackie Robinson? ... Pretty impactful. The word impactful was really interesting to us. Most important, most impactful.

Jayden Daniels should and will win the Heisman

Jayden Daniels. Eight touchdowns... against Georgia State... He is now the favorite to win the Heisman... I don't think that you can honestly make a case that it should be anybody except for Jayden Daniels.

Jim Harbaugh will leave Michigan for the NFL after this season

I think that him accepting his punishment is a sign. He might be on the outs, which I'm excited for. Except he might go to the Chargers, which I'm not excited for.

The entire PMT crew should campaign for Jaden Daniels to win the Heisman

I think as a group we should get behind Jaden Daniels plus 550. I think we should get behind Jaden Daniels make that bet and try to bang on that drum... we have to do is basically propaganda stats of Jaden Daniels to get everyone in the world being like, did you know Jaden Daniels actually better than everyone else?

Dylan Brooks is successfully embracing the villain role in the NBA

My who's back of the week is Dylan Brooks being a villain... I think he's embracing being the villain. I think it's good.

The Celtics are back to being the favorites to win the NBA championship

The Celtics today acquired Jrue Holiday... And they're back to being the favorite to win the NBA championship. It's an elite defensive back court with him and Derrick White. Tatum, Brown, it's gonna be exciting.

Novak Djokovic is the GOAT and Federer is a boy toy

The Joker 24 and counting. Joker's the best. He's the goat. I root for winners. I am a winner. I root for winners. Joker the man. Your little fucking boy toy. Roger Federer. Joker's Got you. Bitch.

Herm Edwards is a total fraud for the mess he left at Arizona State

My who's back is Herm Edwards being a fraud because Arizona State has a bull ban... He's on ESPN giving speeches about, you know, upstanding character and doing the right thing. And he just left this mess in his past. So he is a total fraud.

The Yankees should extend both Aaron Boone and Brian Cashman

I think they should extend Aaron Boone. Yeah. I think he's the steady hand and Cashman. I think Aaron Boone is a steady hand that the Yankees need to control their franchise. ... We official vote of confidence as they should extend both of them. Yes.

The Texans offense will be much better than people think this year

He's [John Metchie] back in training camp. He looks awesome. ... I'm just saying, I think, I think the Texans on offense this year are gonna be way better than we think. I like Stroud. How do you do that? I'm a Stroud boy.

The Vegas Sphere is the coolest thing ever and the future of advertising

It's maybe the coolest thing I've ever seen. Like, I feel like it's gonna be everywhere all the time now. Like it's the, it's the future. ... However much it costs to advertise on it is like it's better than a billboard.

There are more trees in Canada than there are stars in the Milky Way

You know what I learned today? There's more trees in Canada than there are Stars in the Milky Way. Is that true? Damn. Yeah. I went to a museum today.

The 'pervert' chant at Max Homa is officially canceled and banned

We have to stop saying to Max Homa on the golf course that he's a pervert because it's getting a little weird... permission to shame that person, take a picture and send it to us... no more pervert. That is officially canceled.

Brooks Koepka is the hottest golfer in the world heading into the Masters

My, who's back of the week is Brook's Koepka. Yes. Brooks. Shout out Brooks. He won. He's hot. He's the hottest golfer in the world going into masters week. He's back. He won on the live tour. He battled off Patrick Reed to finish first place in Orlando.

The Lakers are a legitimate threat as they climb the Western Conference standings

The Lakers... they are climbing up the west... Seeds four through 10 right now are separated by four and a half games. Damn. And Lakers are right there at eight. Are the Lakers back? They have LeBron and AD.

Ja Morant will relapse if he plays poorly after his brief rehab

And the toughest part is the relapse where if he, if he gets back and he's not that good, you're gonna fall back in old habits and you're gonna be like, I need to, I need to have a gun in strip club again.

Oleksandr Usyk will beat Tyson Fury when they fight for the unified heavyweight title

I actually think Usyk could beat Fury. That's why I think Fury's been trying to duck him for the big belt, for the all the belts.

LIV Golf will never be a team sport because golf is inherently individual

My four-year-old son Chris walked in the other day and he was like, dad, can we watch the ACEs? He's a Big ACEs player. I don't know why they thought like, golf is not a team sport. No. It's never gonna be a team sport. Ryder Cup is countries, America. People are watching for America on that one.

Mike McCarthy taking over play-calling is the beginning of the end for his time in Dallas

Mike McCarthy is saying that he's going to now take on play calling rules. So this is awesome. ... It's also just, it's the beginning of the end. And if it's because when you get this job, they're basically saying, now you have to fucking do this. Yes. And you're gonna, so it's, it is shuffling the, the deck chairs on the Titanic.

Caleb Williams is already better than the current crop of NFL draft prospects

The UCLA USC game was fucking awesome. Caleb Williams is insanely good. Insanely good... I saw some people saying like, why are we talking about this next year's draft? Why aren't we talking about the year after with Caleb Williams?

LeBron James is lying about when he started listening to Migos

LeBron today wore an outfit... a reporter asked him... he said 'I love Migos. I've been listening to them since I was in Miami in 2010.' The Migos didn't start putting music out until 2011 and they weren't really popular until 2013... just no reason to lie whatsoever.

The Warriors will struggle to recover from the Draymond Green punch video

I don't know though. I think this is something that it's gonna be hard for them to get over as a team. I don't know if they're gonna be able to come together. This is probably it for them.

Max Homa must be on the Ryder Cup team

If max isn't on the Ryder Cup team... we riot. It's a travesty of justice... He went four and oh in his matches, he had an electric walk in putt on the 18th green on Friday to win his match and the USA dominated and won the Presidents Cup.

Zach Wilson is officially cleared and the Jets will beat the Steelers

My 'who's back' is Zach Wilson. He's officially back and cleared to play next week against Pittsburgh... a game we can win... Sola said after in the press conference. I broke the fucking news. If anyone else tries to say they broke the news on Sunday... Billy football had it 1:00 AM Monday morning. Facts.

Aaron Judge will break the AL home run record in the final two weeks of the season

Aaron Judge, two more home runs today. He's at 59, two shy of Roger Maris. These final two weeks got to be locked in. Even if you're not a Yankee fan, it's history. 61 home runs the Yankee record and the non-steroid record.

UNC is the most fun team to watch in college football

I think UNC might be the greatest team to watch in college football. There's so I feel like it's just gonna, you wanna talk about maximum chaos? I feel like that's gonna be UNC every single weekend.

Boxers and porn stars never actually retire

Boxers in porn stars never really retire. They always say they do. They're always ready for one more. It just always, you know what I mean? You'll see. You just be like, no, no, if you're there's one more you just age into becoming a MILF.