Takes

Tom Brady could still throw for 4,000 yards and 30 touchdowns in the NFL right now

Tom Brady... It's football. They had the flag football event this past weekend. Tom Brady played in it. I mean, he could go out next year in the league and probably get 4,000 yards, 30 touchdowns.

Joel Embiid is the only athlete who gets clowned for being injured

Is Joel Embiid the only athlete in the history of sports that like gets clowned for being [injured]... For some reason Joelle em Bead always gets hurt and it's like, ha ha ha ha. What a great athlete that's can't stay healthy. Let's laugh in his face. I don't, he's the only athlete ever that, that anyone does that.

The Seahawks will move Giannis Antetokounmpo to Golden State

Do I? I think he might go actually to Golden State... Giannis would be open to finding other teams that are interested in collaborative effort on a basketball championship.

Giannis Antetokounmpo might be traded to the Chicago Bulls this week

Second [favorite to land Giannis] is Chicago Bulls at plus three ten... the rumors of him to the Bulls have always kind of been there being like, he loves Milwaukee so much that he's not gonna leave living in Milwaukee and commute. Which he could do, but it would be the most ridiculous thing ever.

Lincoln Riley might be fired or leave USC soon

USC... I think Lincoln Riley might be out. I think there's guys that might leave the places they want to be, even though they're not doing bad. I think it's gonna be basically full on musical chairs.

The Buccaneers will beat the Lions in Detroit next week.

Early prediction for the game without them playing any plays is gonna be Buccaneers win in Detroit.

The Penn State firing of James Franklin was necessary

James Franklin fired Penn State... You had to because Ir because they're gonna have to recruit and get, like, you can't fire your coach... where's he gonna get drafted? I don't, I don't know. He should've left late. He's gonna, he would've been a first round pick if he went last year.

Curt Cignetti has to be the next head coach for Penn State

Sigge [Curt Cignetti] has gotta be the guy. They went to Oregon and they just fucking kicked the shit out of them. Sigge is a great coach, don't get me wrong. I don't think he has Indiana in his blood. I think that if Penn State called, he's picking up the phone.

The Miami Marlins might sneak into the MLB playoffs

The Miami Marlins... might sneak away into the playoffs. They're six games out of the Wild Card. I don't know, fun story going on in Miami.

The Oilers will win the Stanley Cup in seven games

I think it's Oilers. I got Oilers in seven. I think it's Oilers.

The Florida Panthers will win the Stanley Cup in five games

I'll go Panthers in five.

Brooks Koepka is my pick to win the Masters this year

I gotta pick for you guys... I'm thinking Brooks [Koepka]. I like that he's won there before. I bet Brooks every single year. I'm a loyal guy.

Aaron Rodgers will announce his signing with the Steelers on Pat McAfee's live show

The theory is that Aaron Rodgers is waiting for [Pat McAfee's Pittsburgh show] to come out on stage and say I'm going to be a Pittsburgh Steeler to fuck over the mainstream media. Which I would love. That would be awesome... I kind of like every now and then a player stealing it from the insiders and being like, I control my own message.

Jim Morrison might still be alive and faked his death in 1971.

My other who's back of the week is Jim Morrison, maybe. Oh, he might be alive. Apparently there's a documentary on Apple TV that claims that he's still alive. He says that he did not die in Paris in 1971. They said that he faked his own death and there was never an autopsy done. I think he lives somewhere in the Midwest right now. The liver king might still be alive.

The sun was switched out 40 years ago for a new, worse sun

I found guys... that think that actually this is a different sun that was, that we switched the sun out like 40 years ago and it's the new sun and it's worse for you... I gotta do some more research on the new sun guys.

Chernobyl was an inside job by Russia to discourage nuclear energy and protect their gas interests

I had one the other day that actually I completely believe that Chernobyl was on purpose. Everyone was doing nuclear power plants and Russia has a shitload of oil and gas and so they're like, Hey, let's blow up a nuclear PowerPoint plant and scare the fuck outta everyone about nuclear energy. And everyone stopped doing nuclear energy or inside job.

Beards are causing baseball injuries because the face is connected to the elbow

My who's back is baseball injuries 'cause Garrett Cole's out for the year... Bad Tommy John. They should never change the rules about shaving your face. Like this, this would not have happened if he was clean shaven. That's true. That's your, your face. Your face is connected to your shoulder, to your elbow.

JJ Watt will come out of retirement to play for the Cincinnati Bengals

JJ Watt is back. He is probably going to come out of retirement to play for the Bengals... I'm rooting for that to happen. I think he would be able to do it.

The Wisconsin Badgers are playing well enough to make a deep run in the NCAA tournament.

I have started to believe in the Wisconsin Badgers who are ranked and their offense is actually awesome and they wap threes... I actually believe that they could make a, a run.

Mike Vrabel is a fraud who relied on Prime Derrick Henry

Mike Vrabel is proof that one smart clock management moment in a nationally televised game buys you five to 10 years of NFL media thinking you're a great coach... Prime Derrick Henry is not walking through the Patriots door... He was a Derrick Henry merchant.

Arizona State could go on a run in the College Football Playoff because they are so hot right now.

I think Arizona State's one of those teams that is so hot right now, and they were 11-1 with their starting quarterback. Why can't they go on a little run?

Juan Soto will sign with the Boston Red Sox

I'm seeing some tweets. I'm seeing some reports... Juan Soto's sister looking at apartments in Boston... Kirk Minihane reported that he's a hundred percent signing with the Red Sox.

Don't put any three-loss teams in the College Football Playoff

Don't put a team in that has that number three in the loss column. Don't... I don't want to see the dash three on a playoff team in college football.

I still believe I can dunk a basketball by January 1st.

I still think I can do it. I need to lose some weight... I still need like five inches. I'm 180 pounds. I was like 171 pounds in July. So I need to lose some weight basically.

Karl-Anthony Towns is a terrible fit for the Knicks

Was your initial reaction like mine, which was basically that KAT could not be a worst fit for this team?

New York is going to eat Karl-Anthony Towns alive

I think Knicks fans are going, I mean they were really mean to Julius Randall and if KA... I just don't think [New York] is going to eat him alive.

Texas is back and will win the College Football Playoff this season

Texas is back. Big time back. Texas is legit... Whoever wins that Georgia, Texas game, that's gonna be the winner. They're gonna win the whole thing.

Adding UConn to the Big 12 would make it the greatest college basketball conference ever

The UConn Huskies are seems like they're trying to get into the Big 12... it also would make the Big 12 the greatest college basketball conference of all time. because it would, now you'd have Kansas, you'd have UConn, you'd have Arizona, like Cincinnati. It'd be just crazy college basketball.

LIV Golf should allow all steroids and make the tour totally rule-free

I was shocked to know that Liv had a steroid policy... You have no rules. You play golf with shorts. They should, if you're the Liv Tour, make everything legal. Have it be steroids, but golf. Tackling. Yes. And a football and pylons.

The Sherrone Moore NCAA text deletion scandal won't be a big deal in a week

He [Sherrone Moore] deleted a couple text messages in regard to Connor Stalions and his possible knowledge on the situation... 52 text messages... I don't think anyone's gonna talk about this in a week from now.

I will not celebrate a Team USA gold medal if the semi-final or final games are within 10 points

I'm gonna say right now I will not, I'm not okay with just a gold medal. I want domination. I want utter domination... I will not be celebrating a gold medal if we win the semi-finals—if the semi-finals or the finals games are within 10 points. Either of them. I will not be celebrating this gold medal.

I want to see the US Men's Basketball team dominate the Olympics like the 1992 Dream Team

I want to see domination. Like the original dream team. That's the statement. Where you don't use a timeout at all. Just mow them down.

Rory McIlroy only wins the tournament immediately preceding a Major and then usually misses the cut

Rory, I feel like he's the king of winning the championship right before Major. Then everyone talks about him. It's a major week. Rory's back. He's go...

The US will be under a massive cyber attack soon, and everyone should withdraw their cash

I suggest you take out all your money outta your bank and stop using credit cards for the next few months until I can give you the green light again. We will be under a cyber attack sooner rather than later... I'm in communication with the very important person for one of, if not the biggest software companies in the world... I met a guy on a plane... He's a higher end for a major major software company... he just pretty much said like, I know too much, but I don't at the same time.

The eclipse and the CERN particle collider will send us into the fourth dimension

They're turning CERN on the day of the eclipse. And I believe the research is they're trying to reach a fourth dimension... Once the the moon covers the sun when it comes back, like we'll be in the fourth dimension. Like everything will be different.

The New York Yankees have already won the World Series after their opening sweep of Houston

I'd just like to be the first to congratulate the New York Yankees on winning the World Series. Yeah. Four game sweep in Houston. Congrats. Juan Soto has been incredible. The Yankees have won it all.

Kate Middleton's absence was due to her getting a Brazilian Butt Lift

There's been some speculation about what Kate Middleton's been up to because she had abdominal surgery. Well, that's what people are saying that it might've been just giving her a little bit of that Pippa ass. She's been out of public though. She got a BBL. That's what people were saying. Streets are talking.

Flaco the Owl was likely murdered and didn't just die from a building collision

It says he didn't break any bones, but he sustained massive hemorrhaging inside his body. This seems like somebody else had a hand in it. We need to check the flight logs. Was Flaco on the list? This Owl probably had information that would've led to the arrest and subsequent conviction of Hillary Clinton.

The Wisconsin Badgers are going on a miracle run in March

I am all in on the Badgers. They're good... and I'm believing, I'm believing in a miracle March run. I'm usually pretty honest about where my heart is... I'm gonna be unsafe in March. If they keep playing the way they're playing, I'm gonna be emotionally unsafe.

Max Homa will win a major championship in 2024

Max Homa is gonna win a major this year. I think this year. Hundred percent.

Draymond Green has learned his lesson and won't punch anyone again

I predict that Draymond has learned his lesson. He won't do this again. I think that Draymond had a brief mental error, a brief moment where he blacked out a little bit, a heated gaming moment and he, he will not be making that mistake again. Draymond's a new man.

Indiana coach Curt Cignetti shouldn't have claimed the Hoosiers would be in the Big Ten title game next year.

He went to the Indiana basketball game and he said Purdue sucks, so does Michigan and Ohio State... He said 'I'd figure I should make this trip up here since we'll be playing in this game next year.' ... He should not have said that. That's stupid.

Francis Ngannou actually won the fight against Tyson Fury

Tyson Fury, they boxed Tyson Fury, Francis Ngannou this weekend... Francis Ngannou also has the, the perfect, he like champion fighters... Split decision. But a lot of people were saying that he won.

The Colorado Avalanche will win the Stanley Cup

I've got the B's avalanche. I'll go with you on the Avalanche Hank. I've got back to back. [Vegas] I've got the avalanche.

Donald Trump is the best golfer in the United States

Rick Re says that it wasn't actually 67. I don't be a hater, Rick. He says it was more like an 86... [Trump] is the best golfer in the United States.

Signing Aaron Judge to a mega-deal was a mistake

Build around Aaron Judge. ... I don't know if you wanna build around Aaron Judge. He's like 32 isn't he? They just signed him to a mega deal. I know that was a mistake. ... He's gonna be 32 before next season. Okay. Whew. And he's got like 14 years left on his contract.

The Ravens will win the Super Bowl

I see a play like that. I'm like, Raven Super Bowl. Yes I have. I have the Ravens for the Super Bowl. I've bought into the hype. It won't burn me at all.

There is a 25% chance Dan Snyder does not sell the Commanders

I'm realizing that there's probably like a 25% possibility that he does stick around for the rest of my life. Owns the team... and I'll probably die before he does.

Bob Huggins' legal defense that he never actually resigned from West Virginia is "brilliant" and "ironclad"

Bob Huggins is kind of back. ... He's employing a brilliant legal defense right now. He's claiming that he never actually resigned from WVU... that his wife sent an email saying that he was maybe gonna step down and that they ran with that. ... It sounds pretty ironclad.

Tom Brady is a 'trophy husband' who needs a sugar mama like Kim Kardashian

Tom Brady is a stay-at-home dad. He needs to find another sugar mama to pay his bills because he always likes women who make more than him. That's just the facts. ... He's a trophy husband. ... Now he's looking for someone to take care of him.