Takes

Barnett and Amber from Love Is Blind will not work as a couple

I want to talk about Barnett because Barnett... he's a fuccboi the very distant definition of fuck boy and he's found his girl in Amber Who is the very definition of a hot mess. So you got a fuccboi in a hot mess. And those are two Unstoppable forces that are just going to rub up against each other until they get into a fight. That relationship is not going to work.

Mark from Love Is Blind is turning into an 'incel' and a 'simp' on national television

Mark is turning incel in front of our eyes. Mark is—he's a [simp]. He's having to negotiate for the relationship to keep going every single conversation... I just want to caution anyone that's going to be around Mark again in the near future. I think he is turning incel.

Cameron and Lauren are the only normal couple on Love Is Blind

My favorite couple by far is Cameron. And what's her name? Lauren? Lauren Lauren. They're the most like hey. They're pretty normal as camera know is he's a weirdo born. He's a little to have your notice like every time they walk he like is way too close to her.

I still do not respect the Coronavirus

I still don't respect the virus. It's like a Ravens Steelers thing, like no love lost. I hate it so much. I want to beat the fuck out of it. It doesn't sound serious and I'm encouraging everybody to do everything that they can... but I still don't respect the virus.

Rudy Gobert's microphone-touching prank was just a harmless joke that I would have done myself three days ago.

I'm going to defend [Rudy Gobert] a little bit here. That's exactly something I would have done. That's exactly something I would have done three days ago. Now that I've understood the severity and what's going on, I would not do that anymore. But Rudy Gobert, I'm not going to just pile on this guy for doing something he thought was completely innocent; clearly it was not.

Duke canceled their season before the NCAA to upstage everyone like drama queens.

Duke, the biggest fucking prima donnas drama queens of all time, canceled their own season before the NCAA could trying to upstage everyone and be like, 'Look at me, look at us, we're Duke.' Then the tournament gets cancelled and then everyone gets to make the joke that Duke got eliminated first.

Belmont would have beaten Duke in the 2020 NCAA Tournament.

Duke Belmont. Belmont would have done it. That's probably why Duke did that. That's probably why they eliminated themselves.

Sports will return to American soil by mid-May 2020, likely starting with the XFL

The date would be mid-May, early May. I think that Vince McMahon did not want to cancel either the XFL or wrestling WrestleMania because you know how... I think the answer to your question is the XFL. [Big Cat]: Mid-May?

The DC Defenders are the official XFL East champions

I'm still absolutely claiming the XFL East for the DC Defenders. First place in the XFL East.

Professional and collegiate sports leagues got addicted to 'cancel culture' during the initial COVID-19 outbreak

I think they got addicted to cancel culture. It just felt very rash to be like everything's canceled forever. I would have almost rather they did just we're going to delay it two weeks and then two weeks later we're going to delay another two weeks until I get to football season. Let us just me asking it throughout the entire summer and give me the hope.

Roger Goodell is the big winner of the 2020 NFL Draft because he won't be booed in an empty arena.

I think they're probably going to have the draft in front of no people. It's just going to be Goodell, which is a major cool throne for him because he's not going to get booed.

I will add a second team to my Pinky Bet next year

I'll add a second pinky team next year. I'll add a pinky team officially I will add a pinky team next year for that. I think it's very fair.

Pardon My Take will thrive during the sports lockdown because our brains are built for it.

This is actually a beautiful setting for us because I've watched around Twitter... some radio hosts out there trying to crowdsource topics. We have brains that are built for a sports lockdown. It's almost better that there's no sports right now in a weird way.

The United States will get exponentially smarter during the COVID-19 crisis because people will finally start reading.

My thought is that the United States is going to get exponentially smarter during this crisis because we're all going to be shut in our homes and people going to start to read. It's gonna be weird.

Hockey will be the first major sport to return from the hiatus

Gambling with NHL is gonna be the first one back. Yeah hockey too. I'm surprised at hockey even... I agree they'll be back first. They will be back for sure.

Tom Hanks getting COVID-19 was the necessary wake-up call for America to take the virus seriously.

If there's one person that kind of shocked America into being like this is something real that we should pay attention to, it's probably just Tom Hanks. He's the most beloved person... most beloved celebrity. He played Mr. Rogers. He's as close as we get to Mr. Rogers in America.

Good health is more important than success, money, or power

Hyman Roth when you think about everything was a hundred percent correct. Good health is the most important thing more than success more than money more than power. If you have your health, you got it all.

The NCAA will use lost 2020 revenue as an excuse to avoid paying student-athletes

I think the NCAA probably will use this as a 'we can't pay the players' we lost 2020 tournament. Is there going to be like a trickle down effect here where they start crying poor or there's things get caught because they missed this much money.

Kansas was the best team in the country and would have won the 2020 National Championship

I need a John Rothstein certified NCAA champion who won the tournament this year... I would have picked Kansas to win a National Championship. Kansas was the team. In the last month we saw Kansas separate, they were as the best team in the country. They were a cut above everybody else.

I would postpone my wedding if the NCAA Tournament were rescheduled for July.

What happens tomorrow morning? We wake up your wedding is July... Mark Emmert says we're having the tournament July. [Rothstein]: I gotta postpone the wedding. Wow, okay on the wedding and we're not talking about kickball here.

It is ridiculous to postpone the NBA 2K league since the games can be played remotely.

The NBA 2K league is expected to announce tonight that it's postponing the start of its season... Hopefully video Gamers can figure out how to compete against each other in the privacy of their own homes. I don't know that seems like a pretty big technological step. We're going to have to make, but I have confidence that the people into k-league will figure out a way to let people play video games in their homes.

My recent gambling hot streak was the best of my life

I have never been hotter as a gambler in my entire life, 20 years of gambling, than I have been in the last three weeks and Coronavirus stopped it all. I honestly have two losing days in the last 21 days.

Exposure to the office 'pile' of trash has strengthened our immune systems.

I actually think that being around the pile has probably strengthened our immune systems without a doubt. My mom saw that on Twitter and texting me also if and when the pile in your office is cleaned, you will find it as full of niceness.

If they cancel March Madness, I will intentionally contract coronavirus the next day

If they cancel March Madness—I'm not talking about playing it with no fans—if they cancel it outright, I will get coronavirus the next day. I do not want to be healthy in a world where March Madness does not exist.

Intentionally contracting coronavirus is healthier than a normal March Madness routine

I think that intentionally contracting coronavirus at the start of March Madness is probably healthier on our bodies than what we normally do to it during March Madness, which is just live off nothing but chicken wings and delicious, copious amounts of Michelob Ultra.

Darren Rovell is legitimately losing his mind

Rovell is kind of a misunderstood but nice guy. I think he's losing it—like he is legit losing his mind. He's on a bender from non-alcoholic beer. This is what happens when you drink like 12 a day for a week straight.

The DC Defenders will beat the Dallas Renegades because it is rivalry week

DC Defenders still undefeated home first place in the XFL Beast. Okay, and it's Dallas week, rivalry week.

Adding football players to the Nebraska basketball team will change their morale and toughness

Nebraska, Fred Hoiberg has pulled out all the stops. Tomorrow against—I don't even know who—but Fred Hoiberg is bringing on Brant Banks and Noah Vedral to the basketball team. They are on the football team. I love that. He's adding toughness. At least it will be a bare minimum the morale and the attitude that the team will have will be significantly different.

The market for Tom Brady is not as hot as he thinks it is

I'm staying a little bit woke on the Tom Brady rumors everywhere. I feel like the market for Tom Brady is not as hot as he thought it would be.

The markets and real estate will crash in the next 6 to 12 months

Everything's going to crash over the next 6 to 6 months to 12 months. And then you buy it. Gold. Everything's gonna crash.

The Astros cheated way more than people realize

Did they cheat? Yeah big time. I'm not mad at them because they got somebody short like me on the Astro... he was wearing a buzzer that was telling what a fastball was coming allegedly.

Tom Brady will announce his return to the Patriots on July 17th

Tom Brady is going to announce that he's coming back to the Patriots on July 17th. It's the 199th day of 2020. [Reference to Brady being the 199th pick]

Mike Vrabel prefers a low-headline, mistake-free quarterback over a star like Tom Brady

I think that Mike Vrabel looks at quarterbacks the same way that he looks at kickers... which is I'd rather just have a guy that doesn't create headlines doesn't get like doesn't make too many mistakes and just trust my defense.

The butt is the easiest hole to get any disease through

I think the—let's be honest—the butt is the easiest hole to get any disease through. Yeah, I would say stay away from that if you're trying to fuck around with someone who's got Corona. All holes no go.

People who never change their car or microwave clocks are 'True Time Warriors'

Every single year. It's like who are the true time Warriors out there that don't change their clocks and the cars are there microwaves or they're already out on your wrist.

Daylight Savings Time adds an hour of sun to the day

Hank thinks we've added an hour of sun with the change we have. [Hank:] We have an extra hour of sun this afternoon. Correct.

Washington and North Carolina are the dark horse teams of the conference tournaments

By the way, Washington, if you're looking for Long Shots, Washington and UNC. Those are the two teams and their conference. [PFT:] You don't think UNC...

The Lakers are going to the NBA Finals

The Lakers are in the NBA Finals. So congratulations to them as first reported by Magic Johnson. He said Laker Nation after seeing what I saw today from the Lakers defensively and offensively they are going to go to the NBA finals. There you go now there he did. Just beat the in this week. And they just beat the What would most people would say are the second and third best team in the league.

The Lakers are better off without Magic Johnson in the front office.

Would you say that the Lakers are better without Magic Johnson working in the front office? Because it kind of turned it around ever since he quit being team president to be full-time Tweeter. [Big Cat:] Yeah, it's like both sides... win-win situation.

Chugging Tito's Vodka can help prevent Coronavirus

I think it's a bitch. I'm going to chug. I think I saw some people that were making their own hand sanitizer out of Tito's vodka and like aloe vera. Okay, so I think if you stay drunk then it's going to kill all the incoming virus and it won't be able to attach ourselves. Right? This is alcohol is an anti. Yeah antiviral.

I should intentionally get this round of Coronavirus to build up antibodies before it mutates.

I have considered just intentionally getting this round or coronavirus because all I know about infectious diseases from the movie outbreak... I know that it's going to mutate at some point and I want the first one that's the easy one and then I'll have all the antibodies in my system.

Kyrie Irving is a coach killer who got Kenny Atkinson fired

My other whose back is coach killer Kyrie. Oh, so Kenny Atkinson who was many people were saying was one of the better coaches last year took a young group... He got fired yesterday and people are saying it's Kyrie and KD... Kyrie change seventh head coach in nine NBA season Kyrie Irving.

The drop in oil futures is a direct result of Shell oil getting 'woke' for International Women's Day.

International Women's Day today... we talked about Shell oil is now 'She-ll' and now oil is down. So you have to wonder is there a link between that did Shell get too woke and take our eye off the bottom line of their business and now oil futures are down 30%?

ESPN+ is a terrible service that constantly glitches out during major events.

ESPN plus sucking shit. I don't know if you guys bought the MMA fight on Saturday night... ESPN plus was absolutely trash as it kept glitching out every like five seconds.

The Wisconsin Badgers are a legitimate Final Four contender

Wisconsin is back. I actually said I think I said this two weeks ago. I was sniffing around it. I am fully believing in this team. I am all the way in... I could see final four. I'm all the way in.

Eli Manning is a Hall of Famer because he played very well in big games.

He's a guy who played really well in big games. I mean if you guys got to vote would you vote Yes? It was not the whole very good and he was very good... he played very well in big games.

Urban Meyer will never coach football again.

Do you think he's going to coach again? [Vrabel:] I don't think so. I think he's enjoying his family. I think he enjoys the TV... but you he's gonna coach? I don't know.

Central Time is the best time zone for watching sports.

Central time is the best time to watch sports. No question. [Big Cat:] No question.

DK Metcalf is like an aircraft carrier: powerful but unable to turn

I like to compare you to are. Craft carrier so I can you get you go you're powerful and you go straight and then you turn by degrees of like 1%... You tell everyone they're like, hey tomorrow we're going to turn and then they stay turn the aircraft Kurt.

The new LA Rams logo is terrible and looks too much like the Chargers logo.

First of all I thought it was the Chargers logo. It looks like it's got a C... So it's a ram horn shaped in a C... It looks like the Chargers.