Takes

The Milwaukee Brewers logo is the best in sports because of the hidden 'MB'

My favorite logo and all sports is though. It's a little bit more complicated the Brewers logo... It's got the middle. In there. Yeah. It's got the letters m and b hmm that blew my mind.

Any competent MLB team should sign Tim Tebow as a lucky charm mascot

Any competent major league baseball team would know that they need to bring Tim Tebow into their Clubhouse for their Major League Squad... He's like a walking breathing circumcising rally monkey.

Wearing a 'PMT Karate Black Belt' shirt is the ultimate life hack to avoid fights

I have an idea it dawned on me... we are going to start PMT karate and sell the shirt... you according to us. We are the heads of PMT. Karate you listening right now. You have a black belt. Yeah, so you are not stealing Valor... No one will fight you. That's the whole point of wearing the shirt.

ABC/Disney/ESPN are trying to trade for Al Michaels to pair him with Peyton Manning

ABC Disney... they're trying to get Al Michaels. NBC doesn't want to give him up but ESPN wants Al Michaels, maybe team up with Sheriff Peyton Manning, put them in the booth together and make TV magic happen.

Mike Tirico is an embarrassment of riches waiting in the wings for NBC

NBC has an embarrassment of riches with Mike Tirico waiting in the wings... so he can eventually take over the Sunday night job.

Mr. Portnoy is more valuable in a media trade than Dickie V

I would say. Mr. Portnoy is more valuable than Dickie V at this point... Mr. Portnoy still has like a decade left, at least.

Eli Manning had dinner with the Chicago Bears to discuss joining the team

Eli Manning was having dinner with the Bears last night. Allegedly Leroy heard that from a source close to the situation... I truly believe that Eli Manning was having dinner with some represented from the Bears last night.

Phillip Rivers would be the perfect NFL broadcaster because he's likable and never swears

I can't believe we've never even thought of this but is there not a more perfect guy? You don't have to worry about him ever swearing. He's likable. He's got the southern twang. He'll be animated. Phillip Rivers needs to be in a booth.

You are an idiot if you don't get Botox once you turn 40 and have money

I think what I think if you make a certain amount of money, you'd be an idiot not to get BOTOX if you turn 40 dude, if I was rich... I'd look strong know all these word. That's the whole point of being rich as you can take shortcuts on Life.

Twitter is losing a step because it takes them four years to copy features like Stories

This tells me that Twitter is absolutely losing a step if it took them like three and a half four years to copy a feature on another platform. You got to do that shit within like six months instantly.

Every actor wants to be famous; those who say they don't are liars

I don't like I said, I you know, there are two kinds of actors: actors who want to be famous and liars.

Hollywood marriages don't fail more often than normal marriages; we just hear about them more

Nobody has ever convinced me that marriages have a shorter shelf life in Hollywood than they do anywhere else. Let's face it. Marriage just doesn't work for most people... I haven't seen the statistics that indicate that it's any worse for celebrities; it's just that we hear about [them].

The Houston Astros robbed the Yankees of a World Series title

I know that my Yankees got robbed. Then there's probably a lot of other teams that got robbed right? I mean, it's out there... Altuve got MVP when it should have been Judge. Yes extra Stripes. Yeah, I mean there's a lot of things that people have to you know, they've lost focus on.

Pete Rose belongs in the Hall of Fame

I still go back to the Pete Rose, you know saying I know it was he wrong? Yes, but how is he not? You know saying in in the Hall of Fame, right?

Aaron Judge hasn't earned his Yankee Pinstripes yet because he hasn't won a World Series

He hasn't played a game [with Pinstripes]... he should have won a championship... You have to win a World Series [to earn them].

Coronavirus is an overrated, fraud of a disease

It's a bitch little disease... I agree. We called it out as being a fraud being overrated last week. I'm not I'm not changing that up... I'm not convinced about this Corona thing. I'll take coronavirus to the face right now.

Bill Clinton saw Tyson cry and decided to claim his White House sex was 'anxiety management'

Bill Clinton said today... that he received oral sex in the White House because it was managing his anxiety. Mental health is kind of buzzing right now... He saw Tyson cry and he's like, 'You know what? Yeah, I got sucked off because I was anxious.'

LeBron James is exhibiting schizophrenic symptoms via his Instagram captions

His caption of him hitting that three-point shot... Me: I bet you won't. Me: Man who you talking to me. I'm talking to you... man you must not know me well... sounds like he's schizophrenic.

Skee-Ball is a bizarre hobby; get a girlfriend instead

[Listener:] I'm officially addicted to [Skee-Ball] to the point where I spend my Friday nights doing so, do you have any advice to knock this bizarre hobby? [Big Cat:] I would find a girlfriend.

DC Defenders fans will break the world record for the longest cup snake at Audi Field this weekend

I'm challenging DC Defenders fans to get a cup snake that goes around the entire Stadium... they can break the world record which as most as I can tell is a hundred yards... it's going to happen. We're going to get the cup snake going around.

Coach K is entering his 'senile' phase where he has no filter and is constantly angry at the media

I think we're going to get into very soon, if we're not there already like the ornery like super angry at the media, just mad all the time [Coach K senile]. We're entering... the Twilight phase of Coach K having no filter and finally saying shit that he really is wanted to say for a very long time.

I refuse to consider the possibility of Tom Brady leaving the Patriots until it actually happens

I don't want to think about living in a world where Tom Brady isn't on the Patriots. I'm not going to consider it a possibility until it becomes a reality. So that is my official stance.

Bruce Arians is a 'Rhino Hunter' who loves signing old, veteran quarterbacks

Bruce Arians did say he prescribes to analytics... and he does like older quarterbacks. So he's kind of like a cougar hunter... Bruce Arians is definitely a rhino Hunter. Yes, because he liked Carson Palmer, loved Peyton Manning. He likes these old guys.

Tom Brady will sign with the Buccaneers so he can play a 'home' Super Bowl next year

Tom Brady in a bucks uniform would look stupid itself, which is why I kind of hope that it happens... but he probably is like I want to play a home Super Bowl. [Tampa's] got the Super Bowl next year... That's a great storyline.

I am officially done disrespecting the Coronavirus and now respect it

I actually I am standing up right now and saying I respect coronavirus. I'm done disrespecting. I'm not I'm putting a respectful thing to her fraud... I am respecting coronavirus.

If you ever want to be humbled, you should read the comment section of an article about yourself

What I have done before is really bad. Now some of the Articles I've scrolled down and read the comments... Unbelievable the comments... Sometimes you want to be humbled read a comment. Yes right through that's a great quote... it'll be comment underneath [this interview]... probably Mass murderers.

I should have been ranked at least number three on the all-time Arena Football League player list

I was ranked number four AFL player of all time. I'm not very happy. I should have been at least three. [Eddie Brown] is number one. [Barry Wagner] is number two and I think [George LaFrance] is three and I'm four. That's bullshit.

Joe Burrow should have to play for the Bengals because that is why the NFL draft exists

Personally, I believe you're drafted there. We have a draft for reason and their number one for a reason they should have the their chance at the best player in the draft... Cincinnati is a great place. I coached there for three years. Mike Brown's heck of an owner. He's Fair he's loyal.

Saratoga is the best horse racing track in America and it's not even close

Saratoga for me is not even close [to other tracks]... I go to Saratoga and I used to go for the opening weekend... getting up early and watching those horses work out. It's beautiful there. The whole set up in the old school feel the town. Yes. It's so much history. There is such a beautiful place.

I believe I could give Kevin Durant a run for his money in a one-on-one basketball game

I'll most definitely... I actually like to make that happen. I actually think I give [Durant] a run for his money.

There should be a reality show called 'The Home Wrecker' where a hot woman tries to destroy marriages in a giant mansion

That's actually a good idea for a show just called the home wrecker. And have a giant mansion filled with happily married couples and then one just crazy hot chick. It's just comes in and just fucks everyone and also they destroy the house by the end of it... with like a wrecking ball.

Madison will win The Bachelor because she has the heart of a winner

I said Madison episode 1 of this... I watched the first episode and she said that she won four state championships in a row in high school. And I was like that is a heart of a champion. Even if she doesn't like this guy she's going to compete to win it's a winner and that's what she's gonna do.

James Dolan staged the handshake with Spike Lee to create propaganda for the Knicks

I wouldn't put it past James Dolan. I would not at all this happens at all the time in spy movies and TV shows where you send somebody up to get long-distance snapshot of right looking like something inappropriate is happening and boom. You've got the propaganda right there.

I stand in solidarity with Princeton students who oppose Marshawn Lynch speaking at graduation because of his history of disrespecting the media

I stand in solidarity with the Princeton students... Lynch's reticence with the media and its terse responses at press conferences... 2015 Super Bowl media day Lynch famously responded to multiple questions with variants of I'm just here so I won't get fined... thank you for taking a stand on behalf of all the capital Js out there.

I think we're going to break the record this year for the amount of times 'This is March' is uttered

I think we're going to break a record this year for the amount of times 'This is March' has uttered shout-out to our friend John Rothstein for creating that phrase.

Tony Romo shouldn't have signed for $17M if it means he can't skip games for golf tournaments

Does [Romo] get to skip certain games to go playing golf tournament still? ... if he's getting paid that much ... Tony Romo can't sneak away to play in like the Bob Hope program ... is it really worth it?

ESPN wanted Tony Romo so the NFL would give them better matchups

I think they were just ESPN was thinking if we get [Romo] in our booth then maybe we'll get like some Steelers Patriots matchups on Monday Night Football figure it out later... having a guy that Roger Goodell likes working for your company will make Roger Goodell just like give you all the business advantages.

NFL Combine speed can have diminishing returns if it's used as a crutch

I had the thought while I was watching it is being really fast actually bad. Is there a point where being so fast is diminishing returns? Yes... the faster you are the faster you're out of position and you maybe you don't run the routes as well because you can't keep your body under control you learn it as a crutch.

Tom Brady is going back to New England

As we've said though on the show, he is going back to New England. Yes. We reported that we have reported that we put our reputation that we don't care about on that fact.

Kevin Ollie is the worst coach to ever win a National Championship

I assume Kevin Ollie's still looking for a job somewhere worst coach ever to win a National Title.

Gonzaga is finally making the Final Four this year

I want to put a take out there into The Ether real quick. I think this is your Gonzaga makes a Final Four.

I am ready for an Andy Dalton and Mitchell Trubisky QB competition

I am very ready for this. I would love for Andy Dalton to get in that room have little QB competition. No, but no wrong answers when your QB competition is Andy Dalton and Mr. Biscuit.

Tom Brady is going to check out all his options in free agency

I think I know he's going to check out his options. I can give you that much. Okay. Well ya know how many how many he's going to have probably 31 other options.

George Kittle is better than Travis Kelce because he plays in the trenches

[I would take] Kittle. he likes a good 30 in the London in the trenches... he picks up people and he drops them and when he got when he gets that ball he doesn't want to be tackled.

LeBron James added six years to his career by missing the playoffs last year

I swear to God last year like just probably added another six years to his career just being able to sit out... it's incredible that he's still [playing like this].

James Harden didn't poop himself; he just didn't wipe properly

I'm like a poop spatter analysis guy and to me that just looked like his prolonged exposure to small amounts of poop that was on his butt. I'm just thinking he didn't wipe well. That's not like I shit myself top-down stain.

Jayson Tatum's scoring increased by 9 PPG since he connected his beard

Since Jayson Tatum fully connected his beard... first 42 games in the season he was averaging 21 points per game... The 11 games after he connected it 30.5 points per game. So he jumped up a full nine points... it is the true definition of look good feel good feel good play good.

The reason people don't laugh at Tim Tebow when he fails is because they treat him like a charity case

They want to support [Tebow] because like if you laugh at someone after that, that's just like you're one of the guys. Not being laughed at in that moment is like you're a charity case. You're out here. We're just doing a make a wish for you to play baseball.

Tom Brady hates everyone in the Patriots organization and wants to get out fast

I'm reading that as Tom Brady hates everyone in the Patriots organization is looking to get out of town as fast as possible.

The Buccaneers have the weirdest uniforms of any potential Tom Brady landing spot

The buccaneers [are one of the teams that would piss off Patriots fans most] because I actually think that there are the weirdest uniform that I could ever imagine Tom Brady in. [The Vikings] purple would be jarring, but that's a list.