Takes

The Washington Nationals are a team of destiny

I think the Washington Nationals are a team of destiny. I really do. Tonight was a big game, 5-4. To steal one in Houston with Gerrit Cole on the mound... that's got to feel good. They're a team of destiny and the Astros are like America's villain.

Game 2 might be the last game in Houston for the 2019 World Series

Do you know what we can say now [PFT] now that the Nationals won game one? Tomorrow night might be the last game in Houston. Is it Gerrit Cole's last game, last night in Houston? A lot of people are saying Garrett Kershaw. I'm not saying it, but it was trending.

If you are an assistant general manager, your name should never be making headlines for anything

I'm just gonna throw this out there. If you're an assistant general manager, your name should never be making headlines for anything—truth, good or bad. You don't do anything except scout and do your little fucking line graphs and work on spin rate. You should be on a spreadsheet in the back office in the worst lighting possible at all times.

Hallucinating and 'seeing ghosts' is a perfectly valid excuse for a quarterback's poor performance

I think it's actually good for Sam Darnold because the only explanation for being that bad is you were hallucinating. If the field was haunted, then that's a perfectly good reason to throw four interceptions in trouble.

The Patriots are going to walk their way to the Super Bowl

I think the Patriots are going to walk their way to the Super Bowl. But they'd have to play some teams with a pulse coming up and it'll be interesting to see what that looks like.

The visual NBA shot clock inside the paint on broadcasts is stupid and needs to go

This stupid shot clock in the key [on NBA broadcasts], that's gotta go. We as a community of sports fans need to come together and get the NBA to get rid of this. It reminds me of a Rock 'n Jock game.

Matt Nagy is cracking and losing his mind as the Bears head coach

My hot seat is Matt Nagy. He's cracking. He's losing his mind. He had the Bears throwing egg toss in practice. That screams like, 'Hey, I'm just trying to do one of those fun games that you do in training camp,' but it's the middle of the season. And yikes. He also told all the players to stay off Twitter.

If you ever have to publicly state 'I am not an idiot,' there is a high probability that you are actually an idiot

[Matt Nagy] also said in his press conference, 'I know we need to run the ball. I'm not an idiot.' If you have to say 'I'm not an idiot,' you might be an idiot at any point in life. Really. If at any point you have to just beg and plead to inform people that you're not [an idiot], you probably are.

Matt LaFleur is currently the most open coach to talk to in the NFL because he hasn't been burned yet

The most open miraculously, at least from the guys we've talked to this year, is Matt LaFleur of the Green Bay Packers. I believe that he doesn't know any better yet. He hasn't been burned yet... Matt LaFleur of the new people is easily the most open.

TV networks will eventually display live betting odds on the screen during sports broadcasts

I can see where they would have—I don't know, in golf—what are the odds of Rory McIlroy hitting the green at Sawgrass on 17? He's got, you know, whatever, it's 10 to 1 here and you can just on your phone, you hit down on that bet. I think TV networks eventually are going to pop that stuff up or it'll be a separate feed.

Being on Twitter is bad for your mental well-being, especially during the postseason

I just think [Twitter] is bringing down the world. I really. I know it's your lifeblood, but especially in the month of October, the idea of just getting on Twitter is just not good.

Jeremy Pruitt's facemask grab was a 'showboating' move

This is why you want Greg Schiano coaching your team and not Pruitt. My problem was he didn't use it as a teachable moment. He looked away. It was a showboating facemask grab. It was the Patrick Mahomes of grabbing your guy by the facemask. At least make eye contact and teach him something.

The controversy over Jeremy Pruitt grabbing a player's facemask is a 'nothing' story

As somebody who got grabbed by his facemask by his high school coach, I feel like I am obligated to talk about this. I think since it happened to me it needs to happen to everybody else... this is the most nothing story of all time.

It is 'kind of hot' to be physically outmatched and 'worked' by your girlfriend in a wrestling match

I beat [my boyfriend] wrestling... can I keep dating him knowing that I alpha'd him? [Big Cat]: He's your sex life now. I'll say it, that's kind of hot. You just get fucking worked by your girlfriend... it was hot when there was a second where I was like, 'Am I going to lose this?'

A secret Twitter burner is a healthy way for a sports fan to burn off steam

I think this is actually the healthiest way that a sports fan can burn off some steam. He's found a very normal outlet to be an immature sports fan, which is redundant because we all are. So just let him live.

The Detroit Lions' season is already effectively over

The Lions season might be Signed Sealed Delivered halfway through October as they're all out of ammo.

The Philadelphia Eagles are done

The Eagles might be done... they stink... I thought the Eagles were going to win straight to me too. But their defense is atrocious.

The Falcons are the worst team in the NFL

Are the Falcons maybe the worst team in the NFL? See they still have that lingering sense of they were winning in the Super Bowl a couple years ago... but they are really, really bad. Their defense is one of the worst I've ever seen.

The Buffalo Bills will win 10 games this season

The bills are going to be those are gonna win ten games.

Andy Dalton's time as the Bengals' starting quarterback is over

I think it's over with for Andy Dalton in Cincinnati. Yeah, it's tough. That's it. It's tough to watch the end. He's like an old pet that you've had for a while and he's just kind of always been around.

Nick Foles is a better long-term quarterback option for the Jaguars than Gardner Minshew

I think Nick Foles gives you the best option for the next couple of years. So now you can kind of work on Minshew and bring them in for big moments or trade him.

Kirk Cousins is all the way back

Kirk Cousins is all the way back... I put the done chain on them after it... I would like to apologize to Vikings fans and to Kirk Cousins.

Aaron Rodgers is the NFL MVP

Aaron Rodgers... he's MVP. No, this is MVP Aaron that we're seeing right now five touchdowns pretty good.

Quarterback draft analysis should be based 100% on hand size

I might just do my draft analysis 100% based on [hand size]. I don't see a problem with that. Like I don't care about any of your stats. I don't care how far you can throw just give me your hand size if it's over nine and three-quarters. I'm drafting you.

Quenton Nelson will catch a touchdown pass this season

I'm squatting on a take: Quenton Nelson is going to catch a touchdown pass some time this year. He repeated as eligible today... he was in the end zone when Eric Ebron caught that touchdown. He deserves it.

Pat Shurmur is a terrible coach and should be fired

I think [Pat Shurmur] is a terrible, terrible head coach and I think he should be fired... Eli Manning was essentially like a body shield for Pat Shurmur... Daniel Jones seems to be pretty good, you have Saquon Barkley, you had [Evan] Engram back, Golden Tate and you stink.

Daniel Jones is not a good quarterback

Are we sure that Daniel Jones is good? ... I don't think he's good. He did get sacked eight times. And if your offense gives up anything to the defense eight times... that's a bad day.

The San Francisco 49ers are a legitimate, top-tier elite team

49ers... their defense is pretty pretty good. They have held the last three games to zero today... they have been crushing teams. They are very very good and I believe in them.

The Tennessee Titans will make the Wild Card round

The Titans are back kind of... they're going to be one of these teams that goes on a run and pisses me off. Their butt cheeks are going to play in the Wild Card round.

The Baltimore Ravens are not frauds

Hand up, the Baltimore Ravens are not frauds... That was an impressive win, an impressive road win... they are real.

The Steelers will still be in the mix for the AFC North title

I think the Steelers are still going to get back in the mix because their defense is coming round.

Matt Nagy is a horrific play caller

I think some of the blame has to be Matt Nagy because Matt Nagy is a horrific play caller. As far as I've seen this year, he ran the ball seven times... you can't know if the running game worked when you run it seven times.

The Chicago Bears are destined to never have a franchise quarterback

The Bears are destined to never have a franchise quarterback. It will never ever happen. It will never happen. The fact that we had DeShaun Watson and Patrick Mahomes in that draft class, it will never happen. It is destined. It is preordained.

Gerrit Cole is going to 'shove' in the World Series

Gerrit Cole is about to show you... he's gonna shove. I'm saying it's gonna shove.

The Jets will be competitive against the Patriots on Monday Night Football

I think the Jets are going to be competitive tonight. Sam Darnold adds a little bit of pep in the step in the building... everyone's feeling a little more well rested.

Fall is the best season and the perfect time of year

My who's back is fall weather. This weekend was like the perfect fall weather and this is the time you can mark your calendar... that first weekend where it's so good. It was a perfect 60 degrees outside.

Wind is terrifying and has almost no benefits

I hate wind because wind scares me. I'm anti-wind and the wind is always bad. Name one good thing wind has ever done besides sailboats? Sailing, I don't do it. I'd rather be a motorboat.

Wisconsin will probably lose to Minnesota if they beat Ohio State

If we beat Ohio State we'll lose to Minnesota. That's how it will go. That's the calculation, give and take.

I am betting heavily on the Patriots tonight because Tom Brady is under attack

Tom Brady somebody asked him a question about it at his locker... and he looked like he was going to cry... All I have to say about that is I'm betting heavily on the Patriots tonight.

Patrick Mahomes' knee injury will only keep him out for 3 to 4 weeks

Patrick Mahomes has a knee... hopefully it's only gonna be like three or four weeks. But if he has a ligament [tear] then it's more.

Joe Flacco's body language is the most concerning thing about the Broncos offense

The most concerning thing about Joe Flacco tonight was his body language overall. He has a face that he looks like he's always looking for his car in a big parking lot... He looks like he knows that his body is not capable of doing anything anymore.

John Elway is so good at evaluating quarterbacks that he chooses to never draft them

John Elway owes somebody a lot of money and he's actually very good at evaluating quarterbacks. He's so good, in fact, that he never drafts [one].

The Astros are better than the Yankees in every facet: rotation, lineup, and relievers

As a scout, I am afraid of the Houston Astros. I will say it, I'm afraid. Their rotation is just as good as the Nationals and their lineup is better and their relievers are better.

Aaron Judge is too tall to be a consistent hitter

My hot take [is] that Aaron Judge is too tall... Altuve would be basically at his tits and [Judge] can't like get his body down that low... the strike zone is much bigger. It's a fact that the strike zone is bigger.

The Giants, Niners, and Seahawks will all win to complete a 'Can't Lose Parlay'

I got the Giants... I got the Niners guaranteed... and I got the Seahawks against the F-word Ravens frauds.

Field goals go farther during night games

My prop that's been hitting at about 75 percent this year... over three-and-a-half field goals. Field goals go farther at night. I don't know how, but they just do.

Kirk Cousins will have a typical 'bad' game against the Lions with one TD and two INTs

This feels to me like a Cousins one touchdown to two interceptions game, maybe get Adam Thielen killed on a cross route... a very hilarious fumble six...

Pete Carroll is the number one 'Dap' coach in the NFL

I would say number one. Dap. Number one dap coach would be surprising to you guys. I think I think it's Pete Carroll... I don't think he's ever missed when he's like that.

LeBron James only defended China to protect his Space Jam 2 ticket sales

LeBron is so transparent that he only wanted to say nice things about China because he wants to sell his stupid movie Space Jam 2. Space Jam 1 is better.

Wisconsin's first game against Ohio State is a recon mission to prepare for the Big Ten Championship

In a weird way, I want to use this as a recon mission and get close and then beat them in Indy, go to the college football playoffs and then win the national championship. I'll just die of happiness.