Takes

Madison Square Garden is the best place to play in the NBA

My number one pick, my favorite city always to visit is New York. The Garden is one of the most fun places to play. Just the energy, even when they're not as good or even if they have more hype. It's always a good crowd, great city.

Kevin Durant should lean into the 'fart face' rumors to be relatable

The reason why people hate you [Kevin Durant] right now is that you joined a 73-win team to win a title. Give us something to make you relatable. Be the fart face guy. It actually humanizes him a little bit, doesn't it?

Michael Jordan is the GOAT

Michael Jordan. The GOAT.

Draymond Green is an all-time classic heel

I'm a big fan of [Draymond Green]... all-time classic heel. He had a shirt that said Quickie in the Quicken Loans font... I need this feud, though, to keep going... because I think Draymond clearly gets under LeBron's skin.

LeBron James is still the best player in the NBA

I just want it on the record that I do still think LeBron is the best player in the NBA, but what Kevin Durant did in the finals was fantastic.

Kevin Durant lost his man card for spitting out a beer while celebrating

All the money in the world, all the championships in the world, they can't buy you back your man card. So he was in the locker room afterwards celebrating, took a sip of beer, and just spit it out all over himself.

Draymond Green is a poor man's LeBron James

Draymond is like a poor man's LeBron. Because Draymond is... a guy that can guard all five spots. A guy that can bring the ball up the court.

LeBron James is the greatest basketball player of all time

I think LeBron's the greatest player ever. You disagree with that, and we can have that discussion as well if you'd like.

LeBron James's legacy is intact only because the Cavaliers avoided a sweep

The two other stories we had, one is because the Cavs didn't get swept, LeBron's legacy is intact. It's a lot of legacy talk. If you get swept, the legacy is out.

LeBron James is a murderer and a scary dude on the basketball court

His intensity was night and day. Not just his intensity and his competitiveness. I mean, he has a killer instinct. He's a killer out there. He'll tear your head off and dunk it... He's an intense, scary dude. You don't want to get in his way.

The Ray Allen Game 6 shot in 2013 was the worst loss of my entire life

That Ray Allen shot and that loss was the worst loss in my entire life, easily... It was over. We won the championship. And then, bam, we missed free throws. They get offensive rebounds. They hit a couple threes, ending with that Ray Allen one. And we lost the game, and it was, like, just so crushing.

The Warriors are a better team without Riley Curry

By the way, Riley Curry, where has she been this postseason? Hasn't been facing the music. Is it a little false flag? Are the Warriors a better team without Riley Curry?

Hakeem Olajuwon could beat pretty much anyone in NBA history one-on-one

The answer is Hakeem because Hakeem could pretty much beat anybody. Oh, it was Hakeem versus Shaq. So Robert Horry went on his show and was like, hey, I think Hakeem is better than Shaq.

The Cleveland Cavaliers have the worst hair of any team in NBA history

It just occurred to me, the Cavaliers are probably the NBA team with the worst hair of all time, and they're matched up against the team [Warriors] with the worst facial hair of all time.

The 1990s Bulls would beat the 2017 Warriors if played under 90s rules

The Warriors are built for an era where there's no handshaking, where the defensive rules are different. If they played during the Bulls 90s era, I think the Bulls team was built for those rules. So they would win.

LeBron James ruined the competitiveness of the NBA and deserves to be swept

This fucking guy created this big three bullshit, this AAU friends and family banana boat in the summer bullshit. He started this shit. And now they created a big four... I hope they fucking swept. And then the nail will be in the fucking coffin. You're not like Mike. You're never going to be like fucking Mike.

Five Kurt Rambises with LeBron's brain would beat five Kurt Rambises with Michael Jordan's brain

Because it's slower and LeBron clearly has the size advantage... I just ran the numbers on my calculator, and I am going with LeBron on this. [Five Kurt Rambises with LeBron's brain versus five with MJ's brain]

The Kardashian curse is responsible for Tristan Thompson's poor performance

By the way, speaking of rebounding, Tristan Thompson, four rebounds tonight. Did you also hear that Khloe Kardashian's going around saying she's pregnant with his baby? So the Kardashian curse remains undefeated.

Dwyane Wade and Victor Oladipo are the best and most versatile players I've coached

The best guys – were the most versatile guys because they made everybody else better. And I think the thing about a guy like Dwyane Wade, the thing about a kid like Victor [Oladipo], Jerel McNeal and Wes Matthews were like this for us at Marquette. Those guys didn't have to score and they didn't have to be making shots to have their presence felt in a big way.

LeBron James is in a unique ballpark of basketball intelligence

Dwyane said this about LeBron. Dwyane is very smart, incredibly smart player... Dwyane said, I'm smart. He said, I know I'm smart. I'm not even in the same ballpark as this guy. And he's pointing at LeBron in the sense of how smart he is on the court... LeBron's in a very, very unique place for his mindset.

LeBron James is maybe better than Michael Jordan

And LeBron James... better than Michael Jordan, maybe. Tune into FS1, Colin Cowherd will tell you about it for the next four hours.

LeBron's 7 straight finals don't count because they were in the East

Asterix, asterix. They're all against the East. True. So let's not crown them just yet.

LeBron James threw Game 3 against the Celtics to help the Celtics' ticket sales

LeBron James threw Game 3 just so that all of Boston had to buy tickets for Game 5 so that he could buttfuck them in public.

Kyrie Irving wouldn't have gotten off the bench for John Wooden in the 1960s

If [Kyrie Irving] played back in the 60s, he wouldn't have got off the bench on John Wooden's team. Dribbles between the legs too much. A little bit of a ball hog. A little bit of a flashy showboat. But I guess if you score points in today's day and age, that's all you need.

I am officially off Greg Popovich because of how he treats the media

I'm off of him. I'm off of Pop. No, but it's picking up a little steam. Greg Popovich just being a dickhead to people while everyone says, wow, Pop tells it like it is. He's so funny. And then he says a long political statement without really saying anything. And everyone's like, man, Pop keeps it real.

Kevin Durant is staying under the radar but he is still a 'baby back bitch'

Not a lot of talk about Kevin Durant being a baby back bitch. Nobody says. He's under the radar right now. Just don't forget the sloucher, the Durantula, the servant... It's all falling in nicely for Kevin Durant, though. He's staying under the radar, so just keep your eye out.

Banning the dunk ruined the game for basketball fans

I thought [the dunk being banned] was just made to deal with me... But no, it ruined the game for the fans. So that wasn't smart.

LeVar Ball's exploitation of his son Lonzo is bothersome

I don't know what [Lonzo Ball] is all about up here because of his dad. His dad gives me the willies. Parents like that really bother me, just trying to exploit their kids like that.

The Warriors' championship will have an asterisk because they cheated by injuring Kawhi Leonard

The Warriors were dead, and then they decided to cheat and came back to life... I, for one, am very happy that this happened because now I'm ready to put an asterisk on the Warriors championship. Just like that. They had a cakewalk through the West. They ran into a hobbled Spurs team.

I am sick of the internet's obsession with everything Greg Popovich does

I'm sick of Greg Popovich... It's the fact that everything he does, everyone says is incredible. Like Greg Popovich is a dick to a reporter. Oh, that's Greg Popovich. He's so funny. He tells it like it is... I hate how everything he does gets applauded by the internet.

Kevin Durant joining the Warriors didn't change the mindset because they were already the team to beat

When [Durant] went there, I think it surprised everybody... but it's the same mindset. You already knew Golden State was the team to beat, and now they're still the team to beat with Kevin Durant. So the mindset didn't change. It was how are we going to beat them.

MJ is the greatest of all time

As much as I obviously don't want to get in the debate because I obviously everyone knows where I stand. MJ, greatest of all time.

Kobe Bryant is the greatest of all time

But I think to avoid this debate, the stance of this podcast is just going to be Kobe. We're just Kobe guys. Kobe is the greatest of all time. Just so we never have to debate this again.

The NBA Eastern Conference is boring and predictable because of LeBron James

I haven't watched a single Eastern Conference game in full because it's so boring and it's so predictable and it's just going to be LeBron James ducking his head, driving to the hole... getting fouled, making the layup half the time, and the other time crying because he didn't get fouled.

The Cavaliers only won the 2016 NBA Finals because of Draymond Green's suspension and Andrew Bogut's injury

I really don't think Cleveland wins if Draymond doesn't get suspended and Bogut doesn't get hurt. So sometimes you've got to have, like, a little luck in the playoffs. Not to say that Cleveland didn't deserve to win. I think they did... But, I mean, it's just – you can't really decide, like, who's going to win the finals until you actually get to that point.

Kelly Olynyk's face makes people want to punch him the moment he steps on the court

He's the kind of guy that steps on the court and everybody wants to punch him from the get-go. You're looking for an excuse. When Kelly Olynyk is on the court with you, you're taking any excuse that you can get to just punch him in the face.

Isaiah Thomas should get a gold tooth or no teeth at all to save money on mouthguards

I think [Isaiah Thomas] should go no teeth overall. Gold tooth. Save a shitload of money on mouthguards.

Tyronn Lue has Stockholm Syndrome and has absorbed LeBron James's mentality

It sounds to me like he [Tyronn Lue] has Stockholm Syndrome. Because this is something that LeBron James would say about himself. Like, leading this Cavs team is the hardest job... I think he's kind of absorbed his stars mentality a little bit.

Isaiah Thomas might not be a great second-half player, but rather a terrible first-half player

I'm not ready to say that [Isaiah Thomas] is a great second-half player. I think he might just be a really shitty first-half player.

Trading Jimmy Butler would be 'categorically insane' for the Bulls

The idea of trading Jimmy Butler is so absolutely categorically insane.

Russell Westbrook distrusts his teammates more than any player I've ever seen

I don't think I've ever seen—and don't tell him I said this because he'll get very upset at me—I don't think I've ever seen one player distrust his teammates more than Russell Westbrook. Unbelievable season, but he really was like, these guys fucking suck, and I need to make sure they never get the ball.

The NBA first round this year has been far superior to the NHL first round

The NBA first round this year has been far superior to the NHL first round. I know there's been a lot of overtime games, but like you said, there's no Game 7s. And the NBA feels like... last year was really bad. This year, there have been some really compelling stories, and we have a lot of fights going on.

LeBron James feels scripted and forced compared to the cool cockiness of Michael Jordan

I respect [LeBron] as an athlete... I just feel like he's a little scripted. Everything he does is calculated where I feel like people compare him to Jordan where I'm like, Jordan was so much cooler. He just carried that cool cockiness where I feel like, it's forced by LeBron.

LeBron James should be in the GOAT conversation with Michael Jordan

I'm one of these guys who says that LeBron should be in the conversation with Jordan. ... Michael Jordan, probably the best NBA player of all time... but [LeBron] should be in the conversation.

LeBron James has a fake Instagram account for creeping on people

LeBron said that Coachella looked fun, but LeBron isn't on any social media. ... ZeroDark3023. So no Twitter, no Instagram, but Coachella looked fun. ... LeBron James has a Finstagram out there that he uses to creep on people. He has a fake Instagram. ... Shocker. LeBron James, not on social media, but says that Coachella looked fun. Hmm.

LeBron James has never actually read The Godfather book

You read the Godfather book for the 7,000th time in a row, even though I don't think you ever read it the first time.

You have to suck for a long time before you are allowed to be good in the NBA

I'm a big pay your dues guy. So I can appreciate that. You have to suck for a while before you're allowed to be good at it. Those are the rules. It took Jesus like 30 years before he started washing whores' feet and making miracles. You got to pay your dues. You got to go out there. You got to be a carpenter for a while before you can be a messiah.

Tony Romo is a coward if he doesn't check into the Mavericks game

I'd just like to say that if Tony Romo doesn't play, if he doesn't choose coach out to get in that game, he's a coward. Doesn't love the game.

The Steph Curry 'Oxblood' shoes aren't actually that bad

I don't think they're that bad. That's all I was saying. I wouldn't wear them and buy them myself, but the way the internet freaks out about them, it's the worst thing in the world. There's been much worse NBA player shoes.

LeBron James only wears protective gear to look tough or have an excuse for losing

He literally just wears these things so that then he can say these things were screwing with me... or he can look tough in front of the cameras and everybody's like, oh, look at him. He's not even taking his own health into consideration.