Takes

The US should lobby to cancel Olympic hockey so we can remain the permanent gold medalists

Let's try to, if we win again, let's just try to get hockey canceled in the Olympics. So it just stays ours from now on. Like honestly, it's not good for the health and safety of the NHL players. It should go back to just being amateurs.

Hockey is only America's fourth most important sport and we still beat Canada

I choose to win with class. Does it hurt for Canada that I graciously said hockey is our fourth like the fourth sport we're best at? We're football, baseball, basketball... and then hockey. I love hockey, but it's our fourth most important sport. And Canada, Canada's everything. And we fucking beat you. And we have the gold.

Connor McDavid's specialty is winning individual MVPs while losing championships

Connor McDavid winning MVP of the entire Olympics in another losing effort. That's just what he does now. It is funny that this is now twice McDavid has won MVP in a losing effort. That's his thing. That is officially his thing. Anytime I play in a big game, I'm gonna be the best player. Not that I'm gonna win it, but the best player out there.

Connor McDavid is currently incapable of winning the big one

I feel bad for [Connor McDavid]. He's an incredible player, but as of right now, I'm just going on the facts that I see — has not won the big one. And we're being a little tongue in cheek, but obviously this will be the, the, the prevailing story of can he win the big one.

Connor McDavid is the greatest hockey player of all time

I just started running around the room... running around greatest hockey player of all time. I just started tweeting that like, it's just, it's incredible to watch him.

Alex Ovechkin should not have been on the power play during Game 5

Ovy did not look well on the ice tonight. He looked pretty slow... I almost think that he shouldn't even be on the power play right now. Because he wasn't, he did not look like he was moving around like the Ovy that we saw in the regular season.

Carolina cannot win the Cup because Sebastian Aho is not a true superstar

Carolina fans are kind of all always all over biz. And I, and I gave them a bunch of props... and all those fans tell me aho aho I'm like, I love aho. But I just, he's like one little notch beneath like the true superstars. And, and so I don't, I don't even think if Carolina gets by Washington, like they can win the cup.

The Capitals are going to 'skull fuck' Paul Bissonnette and the Maple Leafs in the Eastern Conference Finals

Paul Bissonnette, you better hope that you get your ass kicked in the second round because I wouldn't like nothing better than the skull fuck you in the Eastern Conference finals. And I will, I will skull fuck you. Tom Wilson will skull fuck you.

International hockey tournaments like the Olympics are not legitimate without Russia involved

The worst part about four nations and the Olympics next year. Do you guys know? No, it's no Russia. Oh. So nothing is really that legit because best on, best on best hockey? Like you need Russia involved. It's just, you know what I mean?

Leon Draisaitl is more valuable to the Oilers than Connor McDavid this year

I'm an Oilers guy and Leon Draisaitl has just to me been the best player in the league. The most valuable player of the Oilers McDavid's had this great year still, but not McDavid. And then he's leading the league in goals by a lot.

Auston Matthews has become 'too Canadian' and that's why the US lost the Four Nations tournament

My takeaway from this game is that Austin Matthews has become too Canadian. And that's why we lost the game. Because he's a Maple Leaf and Maple Leafs never win anything. And we saw that... in overtime just getting robbed.

The San Jose Sharks are not a real franchise

The San Jose Sharks... they had a picture of [Macklin Celebrini] in the Sharks jersey. And I was like, this isn't a real franchise. It's like, let's make a franchise. I don't know. You just put on the [jersey].

Connor McDavid cannot win the big one

[Connor McDavid] cannot win the big one. That part is unfortunately true unless you count the Conn Smythe trophy as the big one.

Hockey is a significantly tougher sport than soccer, and it isn't even a close conversation

In terms of toughness, we're not gonna talk about soccer with hockey players. Not taking it away from soccer. But it's not even, we're, they're not even in the conversation. ... These players, they're the warriors... dealing with the pain and the aches that they have to deal with for the rest of their lives.

Connor McDavid 'can't win the big one' until he proves otherwise

Has Conor McDavid [won a title]? I think we won. No, he has not. Okay. Alright. So there, the discussion... we have to, as our job say, he can't win the big one... He won the big one and now he's the guy that can win the big one.

There is a 0% chance the Rangers win the Stanley Cup

[Big Cat: What are you gonna do if the Rangers win the cup?] They're not gonna win the cup. [Big Cat: How could you say a team that's up three one in the second round has a 0% chance to win the cup?] Who cares? [Islanders] won four in a row.

The Capitals technically won Game 1 against the Rangers if you ignore three specific minutes of play

If you take out like three minutes in the second period, we actually tied this game. One. One. ... If you take out that 10 seconds and the two and a half minutes in the second period, the caps actually won. This game won nothing... and it turns out that we technically kind of actually won that game.

The Penguins faked the Jaromir Jagr bobblehead truck hijacking because they forgot to order them.

I've got a car filled with Jaromir Jagr bobbleheads that I'm trying to get rid of... I don't think the bobbleheads existed. I think maybe I, I think that maybe there were no bobbleheads and the Penguins were like, 'fuck it's bobblehead night, we forgot to order these things.' It's Jussie Smollett head night. They're like, 'well we don't have—oh yeah, the cops, we called the cops, they're looking into it right now.'

Cutter Gauthier is a 'pussy' for refusing to play for the Flyers

That guy's a cutter's a pussy. That's a, that's a fact. Because... he told Philly that he wanted to play for Philly and then change his mind two months later.

Connor McDavid is a 'coach killer'

Is Connor McDavid a coach killer? Big Cat, 'cause this is coach number four I think for him... I'm gonna say that he's a coach killer. Just because it's fun and I have no idea if it's true or not, but it's always good to just slap that label on a really good player.

The Golden Knights and Panthers playing each other represents the 'Cocaine per Capita' championship

The two cities with maybe the most cocaine done per capita. Vegas, Miami playing against each other and saying like, oh, Brooks [Koepka] will be on his best behavior.

Connor McDavid and Leon Draisaitl are the best duo since Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen

I say he's Pippen and Jordan, I say the best duo since Pippen and Jordan. Wow. They're gonna, I think they're gonna win win a championship.

The Maple Leafs' round one series win doesn't count if they get swept in the second round

Do we count the Leafs getting into the second round if they don't win a game? I don't think it counts. If they don't win a single game in the second round, I don't think they got to the second round.

A team of 20 Connor McDavids would easily win the Stanley Cup

If there were let's say 20 Connor McDavids on a team... Do they win a Stanley Cup? Yeah. Not even close. [Ooh, now Whit disagrees with you] 20 of them.

Canadians run funny because they skate from such a young age and don't look like athletes when they are off the ice

The chaos are a team of Canadians and what's really funny is they all run funny because they're all Canadians and Canadians all run funny cuz they all played hockey. Yeah. So you see them trotting around. This is true... hockey development from skating from such a young age and they don't run. Right. This is true. I've never seen hockey players like play pickup basketball... they don't even look like they athlete off the ice.

If Connor McDavid doesn't win the Stanley Cup this year, he is a 'bum'

My big bet is gonna be on the Oilers... because I'm sick of you telling me how Connor McDavid's the best athlete in all of sports... this is a personal one-on-one legacy match... If he doesn't win the cup this year, he is a bum.

There is a good chance the 1980 Soviet hockey team threw the Miracle on Ice game for money

I was thinking what, there's probably a pretty good chance that, that Russian team threw the game. Right? Cause like they were, they were bigger, older, stronger professional hockey players... It wouldn't be above like corrupt Russians to take a shitload of money on the side.

The NHL beat writer who celebrated with the Stanley Cup should be fired for a lack of integrity

There was a Colorado Avalanche beat writer that picked up the Stanley Cup and celebrated with the team and called it one of the best nights of his life. And frankly he should be executed. Yeah. Send him to the LIV tour. They should chop his head off. That's not what journalism is supposed to be in America. It's supposed to be fearless truth tellers, impartial scribes.

The Lightning are the worst back-to-back champions of all time

The idea that the, the lightning might be the worst back-to-back champions of all time. If you look at the bubble when put an asterix on that, and then you look at them playing like maybe one of the worst Stanley cup champion or say like a finals teams in recent memory, like last 30 years and the Canadians, and now they finally run into a wagon in the Stanley cup finals.

Evander Kane should have been suspended for the remainder of the series for his hit on Nazem Kadri

My opinion on it, because [Nazem] Kadri is out the rest of the series, [Evander] Kane should be out the rest of the series. ... It was a dirty play, whether it was by accident or not.

The NHL is potentially rigged for certain ratings-friendly matchups

The whole debate that we were having last night about the NHL being rigged? Because I think that you're insane for not thinking... the NHL would prefer to have caps first penguins. One last showdown between [Ovechkin and Crosby].

Daryl Sutter doesn't want the distraction of players having children during the season

If you want to be on [Daryl] Sutter's bad side, you would have a kid born in the midst of the season. If you knock up your wife and she's gonna give birth during the course of the season, you might as well just fucking ask for a tray [trade]. He takes it away and doesn't want, he doesn't want any distractions.

I could last a two-minute shift in the NHL, but I'm not sure I'd actually score a goal

If we threw you out there, could you last a shift in the NHL? It's like two minutes, right? Yeah. I think I got that. I mean, for fighting for 30 seconds of this shift... I don't know if I get you a goal. I mean, some of the scores are 1-0, 0-0. So I don't know. I don't want to disrespect the NHL guys out there. Maybe just crash the net.

The Maple Leafs will finally get over the playoff hump this year

I'm confident that they're going to be able to get over that edge this year... I've doubled down on my four skin challenge where I'm going to double down and you can chop my whole cock off and keep it if that fucking team can't make [a run].

Stanley Cup is 'Coming Home' for the Montreal Canadiens because they are America's team

I think the Canadiens are now officially America's team. It feels like it's coming home. Is it coming home? It's coming home. It's coming home for the Canadiens.

The Colorado Avalanche were the greatest team to never win a Stanley Cup

The Avalanche were the greatest team to never win a Stanley Cup. Yep. I like that. I mean, lamed out... we were told the Avalanche were just going to shit-pump everybody.

The NHL should suspend players for dirty hits but allow them back for one 'grudge' game

I think they should do this more often... suspend him for enough games where he can come back and then everyone can tune in to watch him have fights all night. I think the rule should be if you get suspended for a dirty hit in the playoffs, you should be forced to start the next game, skate one shift, and then after that point, your suspension begins.

The NHL should thank Tom Wilson for making the league relevant right now

If anything, the NHL should be thanking Tom Wilson for making the game relevant right now because people are talking about it.

If a Canadian team wins the 2020 Stanley Cup it gets an asterisk, but an American team winning is legitimate

I'm going to say right now if a Canadian team win the Stanley Cup it gets an asterisk. Yeah. If it's American team we earned that shit.

Hockey is not one of the major four sports

No hockey doesn't count hockey doesn't count. Not one of the major four sports. What's the fourth? MLS?

Alex Ovechkin is officially better than Wayne Gretzky now that he has 700 goals

Ovi just scored his 700th goal. ... I'm predicting. I'm going to be at the Caps game on Saturday night. I'm going to see him score two more goals. ... And then it's going to happen. Now he's officially better than Wayne Gretzky.

If the Hurricanes lose their playoff series, Big Cat will track down and kill Hamilton the Pig.

If the hurricanes lose, I'm going to try to track down the pig and kill it... I'll kill a pig. Let's do bacon until it dies of a heart attack.

NBA players and fans are soft for cheering an injury comeback that NHL players do routinely

I saw that asshole from the Cavs [Kevin Love]... broke his nose and came back with a fucking mask on and got a standing ovation. Are you shitting me? Ryan Malone on Pittsburgh... got a slap shot directly in the face... shoved a couple tampons out there and came back, no mask, no standing ovation for him.

The Washington Capitals killed the Eastern Conference

Did the Washington Capitals kill the Eastern Conference? Not just the Penguins, who, by the way, they haven't won a game in the playoffs since the Caps beat them... Nor have the Tampa Bay Lightning.

The 2019 Tampa Bay Lightning were scared of being embarrassed by the Capitals again

I do give credit to the Penguins and to the Lightning. It's a smart move to not want to get embarrassed by the Capitals again. So just getting the fuck out of the playoffs as early as possible.

Fighting is dead in hockey because social justice warriors have taken over and influenced the league

Fighting is dead in hockey... all these social justice warriors have kind of taken over and directed the league in a certain way. I feel bad for league officials... because it's just a constant barrage of people bitching about everything.

Patrick Kane is the greatest American-born hockey player ever

Kane, holy shit, he keeps getting better. It's the best I think it's the best he's ever been. It's just he's the best American-born player ever. That's my hot take of the day.

NHL players skip the All-Star game to win titles, while NBA players go to 'get kills' and get recognized

NHL players care about their team and trying to win the Stanley Cup. And by skipping the All-Star game, they're going to save themselves a cross-country flight and Alexander Ovechkin will be ready to play in the playoffs as opposed to wasting energy going back and forth across the country. NBA players just want to try to get some kills in a city where they're going to get recognized because they're all 7'1 and have huge wrenches.

The 2018 Washington Capitals were a dynasty and perhaps the best hockey team ever assembled

The Washington Capitals. So the Caps year wins year of the year. Truly a magical run. A dynasty. Maybe the best hockey team of all time ever assembled. Great coaching, great executing, great fans.

The Washington Capitals dynasty has already begun

The dynasty has already begun.