Takes

Aaron Rodgers is currently top five in every major passing statistical category

Aaron Rodgers still top five in everything right now... touchdowns top five... yards top five... [I must have looked at it before they updated it].

Josh Allen and the Bills are the Miami Dolphins' daddy

Josh Allen and Sean McDermott and the Buffalo Bills continue to be the Miami Dolphins Daddy. Sean McDermott's now 15 and 2 against the Dolphins.

Dennis Allen is one of the worst NFL head coaches of all time

Dennis Allen is the third worst NFL head coach of all time. He's now 26 and 52 as a head coach. And there's only two head coaches in history who have coached as many games as he has with the worst losing percentage.

The 'Lions Hangover' is a real betting trend where teams lose the week after playing Detroit

Lions hangovers. I think it's a real thing... Rams played the Lions, then lost. Buccaneers beat the Lions, then lost. Cardinals lost to Lions, then lost. Seahawks lost to Lions, now they lose to the Giants.

Mike Evans is a lock for the Hall of Fame and could finish top five all-time in touchdowns

Mike Evans... is gonna go down like top five six in touchdowns and receiving yards. He's just so consistently awesome. Mike Evans deserves all the credit in that respect.

Wearing all-black uniforms at night in Baltimore provides an extra confidence boost

There was something about it, man, when you showed up, when you had the black jersey in your locker and it was a big game. You're like, it gave you that little extra like, nudge of confidence... we're definitely winning.

Sam Darnold would be second or third for MVP if the season ended today

If the season ended today, [Sam Darnold] might not be MVP, but he would be maybe second or third for MVP.

Patrick Mahomes is having the most 'fuck you' career by playing average regular season football and winning Super Bowls

Patrick Mahomes has not been very good. I have a fun stat for you. In the last eight regular season games, Patrick Mahomes is 11 touchdowns, nine interception... Which made me believe that there's a chance, Patrick Mahomes might just have the most fuck you career of all time to everyone who watches football and win like 10 Super Bowls and just play average football every regular season.

The Bruins lowballed Jeremy Swayman with a four-year, $6.2 million offer

I find out that the offer is four years times 6.2 crazy low ball. And that they, that they haven't talked in like three weeks. It's August camps in 10 days... I had the contract offer. Right. He [Don Sweeney] didn't argue that. So whether it was two weeks, three weeks, or 10 days, right. There's been enough silence in August with your star goalie that it's seriously alarming.

Mike Shanahan essentially acts as a 'shadow GM' for the 49ers by watching all film and meetings

I did spend a bunch of time with [Mike Shanahan] in May and June of 2022... there is something at 49ers headquarters referred to as the 'Shana-Cam', which basically means Mike Shanahan needs to watch meetings and practice ASAP virtually. So he's, some people think he's the shadow GM. I think that's an exaggeration. But he's... he's still got it.

Deshaun Watson has the worst contract in NFL history

Deshaun Watson will go down as the worst contract ever.

Lamar Jackson is 21-1 in his career against the NFC

Lamar Jackson now 21 and one against the NFC. He kills them. He kills the NFC.

Joe Burrow's wrist injury is 100% physical and he is lying about being 'good'

I disagree with you that it's mental, not physical. I think it's physical. No, I think it's 100% physical, physical, physical. And that when Joe Burrow says he's good, he knows he's not good and he's pissed off that he is not good.

Donald Trump did not actually get shot because his ear regenerated too quickly

No, he did not get shot... His ear is fully recovered... Have you seen pictures of his ears? A closeup of his ear currently? Evander Holyfield's ear has not regenerated. Trump is totally fine.

Deshaun Watson has the worst contract in sports history

Deshaun Watson might have the worst contract ever. Impossible to beat. I maybe not even the worst NFL contract ever. Maybe not even the worst sports contract ever. Deshaun Watson might have the worst contract ever.

I have been a Steelers fan my whole life

Steelers. Big time Steelers. Fan... [My whole life].

The Tasmanian Tiger is likely not extinct and lives in Papua New Guinea

The one that sits on the top reign supreme is an animal called a Thylacine. Tasmanian tiger... it managed to get a pilot and get picked up and turned into a series... because it used to range like 4,000 years ago... there are still ongoing reports from tribes and villages of striped dogs and all these things in Papua New Guinea. That's the area that I think needs the biggest exposure.

Patrick Mahomes would be worth over $100 million a year on a truly free market

If the NFL was truly free market capitalism, [Mahomes] might go to the Panthers. David Tepper... he might go for over a hundred million dollars.

The Matthew Judon trade is a loss for the Bears because he chose the Falcons over them

The Patriots gave Matthew Judon the option of which team he wanted to go to. And he chose the Falcons. New England believing the Bears and Falcons were in similar category... gave linebacker Judon his choice of being dealt to Atlanta or Chicago. And then Breer said Judon obviously picked Atlanta.

Robert Saleh is actually making football hard again for the Jets

My cool throne is for Aaron Rodgers because when we had Aaron Rodgers on for Chill Week, he told us 'make football hard again.' And he said that the Jets camp this year is much harder and maybe the hardest in the last seven or eight years of his career. And he said that Robert Saleh is like really cracking the whip.

Jayden Daniels is the real deal and Commanders staff are obsessed with him

I talk to Cliff [Kingsbury] all the time... Everyone's happy... holy shit bro, like, they're talking like this guy is the real deal in Washington and Jayden Daniels has been everything they were hoping for and more in training camp.

The 2024 White Sox are a historically bad anomaly, worse than the 1940s Phillies

The Chicago White Sox who are on a 20 game losing streak... If you just erased their 14 game losing streak and their 20 game losing streak, they would still have the worst winning percentage in baseball this year... Only two managers in baseball history have at least 200 games managed for the same team, and a winning percentage under 333... Pedro Grifol and a guy named Dr. James Prothro, who managed the Phillies during World War II.

Jumping at the last second in a falling elevator will save your life

If you're an elevator and it falls and you jump at the end, you survive... I just looked it up. It's not true. It's not true. You would die.

Chocolate milk comes from brown cows

I thought chocolate milk came from brown cows... I was up north driving past a brown cow and I pointed to my cousin, I said, you know, chocolate milk comes from those things.

I would have made more money than any actor in history if I had accepted the lead in 'Avatar'

I had a chance to be in Avatar... I probably would've made more money than any actor in history had I taken the part... It was 10% of the total earnings from the film... All I know is it made over 3 billion.

I would rather buy new clothes than walk through a spider-infested hallway to do laundry

I have to share that laundry room with three other units... there's spiders all the way up and down the wall... I'm afraid to go down there... So I bought new clothes, bought just essential stuff.

Dan Orlovsky had the worst sports take of the year on Mac Jones

The winner for the 2024 Take of the Year Takey is Dan Orlovsky. Dan Orlovsky incredible saying he believes Belichick will win another Super Bowl with Mac Jones at QB. Mac Jones is the best rookie QB that I have ever seen since doing this job when it comes to knowing where to go with the football, when to go with the football, and how to throw that football.

Passing on Josh Allen was the biggest mistake of my GM days

I loved him [Josh Allen]. Right? But it just, you know, didn't work out... and you're right. That was probably my biggest mistake of my GM days. Well, was not taking Josh.

August is the 'Month of Hate' in Major League Baseball

August is always the month of hate in the MLB. So no matter, you know, if your team's good or bad, you get, everybody wants to fucking kill each other. And it's literally, it's the month of hate just from being around each other for so much.

Joel Embiid believes the current LeBron James is not the same as the dominant version from years ago

The LeBron now is not the LeBron that was a couple of years ago. So it's a big difference. Everybody would also tell you, and you can see for yourself, the athletic LeBron dominant that he was a couple years ago is not the same that he is now.

Hitting too many 'dingers' caused my bicep tendonitis

I have bicep tendonitis in my right arm from hitting dingers... it hurts to lift my right arm. So the backswing, there's a lot of pain.

Tornadoes do not hit big cities

You gotta worry about the tornado—tornadoes don't hit cities though. That's good. Like big cities. I think it's something about like the wind or something in the big, in the buildings, buildings stopping it. I don't know... I think they—tornadoes do not hit big cities.

I saw a bright circle UFO in Austin, Texas

Literally like, we got the, the screen on the car's real bright... Emily's in the passenger seat. She's looking at her phone, this like, like circle shape object. Like bright as hell. Literally just goes from right here and goes straight down. She was looking at her phone... it was so bright that she looked up and saw it too and it just like disappeared. Like completely disappeared.

Adam Schefter is one of the few media members you can actually trust with off-the-record information

Adam and I actually are close... he's one of the media members you can actually trust that if it's off the record, it's not going anywhere. Like he actually will keep it close to the vest.

Baseball has the highest amount of celebratory ass slaps in sports

Baseball for sure. Football probably second... baseball, that's how they shake hands.

Taxes are optional in Greece

In Greece, taxes are optional. And then their economy just crumbles every like 10, 15 years. They're like, Hey, we should probably start paying taxes. ... I looked, I just, I just Googled that. Yes. Currently more than half of Greek households are exempt from any personal income tax.

The winners of the John Deere Classic always stay in the same rental home in Illinois

For the last three years, each winner of the John Deere Classic has stayed in the same rental home in Illinois. Whoa. It's officially the trophy house. Davis Thompson, SEP Straka, JT Poston.

I am 120% stronger than I was two years ago

[I am] 10, 15 pounds [bigger]. I feel a lot stronger. ... If I was a hundred percent strong two years ago, I am 120% strong now.

Lobster meat is definitely meat because it is a crustacean

Lobster meat is considered meat because it is a crustacean and a type of seafood. ... [To Max] You grew up in a dumb household [if you think fish isn't meat].

I could have played D1 basketball for Auburn if I had focused on it

I would like to think just my competitive nature that I could have gone and played D1 basketball. If I put as much time and effort as I did into baseball, into basketball, I felt like I had a really good chance at doing that. And being an Auburn fan, I would've loved to go to the Auburn Tigers and play basketball there.

I earn $150,000 per episode of Pardon My Take

$75,000. But actually that was three years ago. We make 150,000. Literally the truth.

Kentucky should have guarded me full court and denied every catch

Yeah, like you would think that a guy like, like me or, or him that's, that's really just stroking it like that they would pick him up full pretty much. Like deny every catch and, and just make it tough for him. Like, don't let, don't let him catch the ball. Don't let him get a shot up because you know the result is gonna come from that.

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There was a 30% chance Taylor Swift would attend the Beer Olympics

I've heard from multiple reports that Will said there was a 30% chance that Taylor Swift was gonna come to the beer Olympics... You never know. I think there's still a chance she might show up... when Dave was really wasn't on board, he was like, you could get me back. If you get Taylor Swift there. Right. Okay. So we're like, okay, there's a shot.

I can chug a beer faster than Taylor Lewan

I can chug faster than Taylor... [Lewan] put it down in like 3.8 seconds... the boot? ... I can't [do] that. One beer. [But] I beat Dana Beers too.

The Boston Celtics championship parade was the biggest in NBA history

Biggest, biggest parade in NBA championship history. Is that a fact? 1.5 million people.

I wasn't going to fake a celebration for the cameras just because the Celtics won the championship

I just don't know really. Like I was thinking that what should I do? And I kind of knew that that was gonna be the reaction, but I also wasn't gonna fake it. Like I wasn't gonna drop to my knees and be like, you guys knew you were gonna win after game three.

Zach Wilson is genuinely in the mix for the starting job in Denver

Zach Wilson is currently in the mix for the starting job. What? In Denver. Which is crazy because Sean Peyton, he compared Bo Nix to Peyton Manning and Drew Brees. So imagine how good Zach Wilson has to be to be competing to start over a combination of Peyton Manning and Drew Brees.

Playing in the MLB London Series means you won't win the World Series

Haven't every single team that's lost a London game has not won, gone on to win the World Series. I think that's a fact. That's a fact. Right. Playing in the London series means you won't win the World Series.

Tiger Woods definitely used HGH to come back from his injuries

Tiger If you ever wanna come on the podcast... did Tiger ever do do steroids? You think I Why doesn't it get talked about though? ... He definitely, it's just out of respect for him. Is it, is it deference? He definitely used it to come back from stuff for sure. ... I think he without a doubt a hundred percent used HGH to come back from injuries.