Takes

College basketball referees ruined the 2017 National Championship game

The refs ruined it so much. ... The refs ruined the game, and I can't stand when they do that, especially college basketball is the worst of all the sports. Everyone who watched that game was like, that sucked.

Kansas will win the 2019 National Championship

I'm going to go with Kansas [for 2019 champion].

San Diego State will win the 2019 National Championship

I like San Diego State. They got a decent class this year, great class in two years.

The biggest competitive advantage in baseball today is understanding players as human beings rather than just data

The ironic thing about that is it's kind of swung the pendulum back where I think the biggest competitive advantage now is actually understanding players as human beings, what makes them tick, getting the right kind of guys, building the right kind of chemistry, and then treating them the right way so that the team can take off.

Position players are significantly better first-round draft bets than pitchers

The best bets in the first round are position players. They return, on average, about twice as much value as pitchers. If we were going to put our resources... we wanted to do it with position players.

Media attention on Moneyball changed how baseball front offices operate by forcing owners to ask more questions

When Moneyball came out, it hit the New York Times bestseller list. And who reads bestsellers like rich dudes on their yachts who are the same guys who own baseball teams? So they all read the book. Then they started looking at their GMs. I was like, what the hell are we doing? ... It was an example of the media kind of changed in the way the game operates because they started asking questions.

Kyle Schwarber will be an average defensive left fielder

I think [the concern about his defense] is overblown. I think he'll be average out there in left. You know, he boxed those two balls against the Mets whenever everyone was watching. So everyone thinks he's brutal. So I'll actually probably surprise some people who haven't seen him play since then.

The 'clutch gene' exists, even if it can't be proven with numbers

You can't prove that it exists by the numbers because guys have tried, but I know intuitively there are guys I want up in the big spots, and it's not just the best hitters. There are guys who just keep their heartbeat low and kind of thrive in those moments instead of backing away. ... You can kind of tell who's scared and wants that big moment over with and who actually wants the ball.

The Cubs would not have won the 2016 World Series without the Game 7 rain delay

I buy it. I don't think we win the World Series without that [rain delay], but you can't prove it. ... If you blow a lead late in any game, it's hard to then come back and win... our players were shell-shocked... and that rain delay... they rallied each other.

College athletes should be allowed to profit off their own likeness

I do think that a player should be able to profit off their own likeness in some form or fashion. ... Put the money in a blind trust? ... Pay them after they get out of college?

Phil Mickelson intentionally reported Lexi Thompson's rules violation to ensure the PGA Tour was on notice

I think Phil Mickelson called in this rules violation ahead of the Masters to make sure everybody was on their game. ... Also stay woke. Maybe he was just making this quote to get the headlines that he paid $2 million to his bookie last year, pushed down a little bit on the Google search results.

Phil Mickelson will eventually play on the LPGA tour

Phil Mickelson might actually play on the LPGA. He's got the boobs, he's got the tits, he's got a rack. ... I like a guy with a nice rack. Phil Mickelson, he does it for me.

The 2017 UConn women's team are frauds

The UConn women's team lost. So they're bad for college basketball, but for a different way because they're frauds now. So I'm the first person on the Fire Gino train.

The Red Sox and Mariners will meet in the ALCS, the Cubs and Mets in the NLCS, and the Red Sox will beat the Mets in the World Series

I think the Red Sox and the Mariners are going to be in the ALCS... Cubs-Mets [in the NLCS]... Red Sox-Mets [World Series].

The Nationals will win the 2017 World Series

I've got the Nats and the Dodgers [in the NLCS]... and then I'm going with the Red Sox [in the AL]... Red Sox-Nats [World Series]. World Series champion? Nats.

The Cubs will win back-to-back World Series titles

I'm going with the Astros over the Red Sox in the AL and the Cubs over the Mets in the NL... Cubs over the Astros for the World Series.

Miguel Cabrera will win the AL MVP

I think Miguel Cabrera is going to be the AL MVP because he's in that nice spot. He's like 33, maybe getting up there in years, little steroids, getting a little second life.

Mark Few will win the Jim Nance tie in 2017

UNC's going to win, but Mark Few's going to get the tie. That guy is all class... I think the winning team has to get the tie. [But] it's someone who represented great character and leadership... Sounds like Mark Few to me.

Gino Auriemma was secretly happy UConn lost to relieve the pressure of the win streak

I think Gino [Auriemma] was actually happy they lost that game. Well, if you saw after the shot went in, his immediate reaction was a smile. Right. So it took all the pressure off.

The Capitals will sweep every round of the 2017 postseason and won't lose a game

I'm going to need to go to some Caps games. They're only going to be four per round because they're going to sweep. They're probably not going to lose a game this entire postseason.

Losing in college hurts more than the pros because you aren't millionaires yet

In professional sports, if you lose, there's no real losers in the NFL, MLB or NBA hockey... you're all millionaires... it's like, well, I'll go home in my Maserati and call it a night. And college, it's different.

Adam Morrison is the 'Godfather of Crying' in NCAA tournament history

Do you consider yourself kind of like the godfather of crying? You were a true revolutionary when it comes—the first person gets all the shit, and then everybody else kind of reaps the rewards. Now everyone's like, wow, look at this emotion.

The biggest difference for the 2017 Gonzaga team is their commitment to defense

They play defense. For years, we were always really good offensively, obviously, and we weren't terrible defensively, but we really didn't completely buy into it. I think that's the biggest difference that this team does is they rotate... overall, the attention to detail on defense has just made it a difference.

Gonzaga will beat North Carolina 75-71 in the National Championship

I'm going to go... Gonzaga, 75. North Carolina, 71.

Derrick Rose will be playing in China with Stephon Marbury in a couple years

Except here's one silver lining I'll throw out there. Stephon Marbury versus Derrick Rose in China in a couple years. That'll be good.

Roy Williams is a great cultivator of talent but is overrated as an in-game coach

I'm going to get a lot of heat if UNC wins because I've been on the Roy Williams is overrated train. I think he's actually a great cultivator of talent. He gets the most out of his guys. I still don't think he's the best at the end of games, timeouts, X's and O's.

The NFL should let fans call in penalties from their couches like the LPGA

I love this rule. This is my favorite part about golf by far. Anybody at home has deputized themselves as a rules official... the NFL could deal they could adopt this rule I want to sit at home I want to call face masks from my couch and i want dean blandino to have to review the tape.

South Carolina is a guaranteed winner in the Final Four

Bet it on South Carolina. That's a guaranteed winner. Let's go.

JJ Watt did a Twitter Q&A solely to set up his PMT interview appearance

I'm totally woke on the fact that [JJ Watt] was doing this, I think, just so that he could say – he knew that he was going to get HeyJJ'd in his replies. So I think he was just setting up this entire Q&A for the question about Pardon My Take so he would say, I will go on the show.

Playing the Final Four in football stadiums ruins the players' shooting

My favorite thing that the Final Four to the NCAA basketball does is they play the entire season in arenas, and then they're like, hey, let's play in a football stadium and screw up everyone's shot.

I'm taking Gonzaga -7 and North Carolina in the Final Four.

I've got Gonzaga winning. Minus seven? Yeah. And then I've got UNC.

Oregon is a bad matchup for North Carolina due to a lack of size

I do think North Carolina is going to win. I think they're the better team. And they're a bad matchup for Oregon... [Oregon] has athleticism. They do not have—they have a little length. A lot of athleticism. No size.

North Carolina will win their Final Four game by 20 and the championship by 10

I think [North Carolina] are going to win this game by 20. And then I don't care who they play in the finals. They're going to win by at least 10.

A man cave should function as a legal safe haven where murder doesn't count

I think being in a man cave is basically like a lawyer's office for dudes... Murder doesn't count in a man cave. I don't know what they were doing. They were hanging up St. Pauli girl neon beer signs... whatever, just guys being guys in the man cave.

Brands always fail when they try to be funny on April Fool's Day.

I love April Fool's because brands think that this is a good chance for them to be funny and they always fail.

The Washington Wizards abandoned the Bullets trademark, so it is now open for public use.

I i i would say uh give it a shot [selling Bullets merchandise]... I would say the argument would be they've abandoned it [the trademark]... it makes sense to me.

Large companies use 'company policy' as a way to project fake government-level authority and deny consumer rights.

But these big companies, they tell you, you know, I wanted to return something. And they say, you can't. And I said, who says? They said, that's our company policy. I mean, the company policy, they make it sound like the government has set this up and this is the way it's going to be forever.

The waiter at Legal Seafood knew they were out of rice pilaf and intentionally gave me regular rice without saying anything.

I ordered the rice pilaf, and [the waiter] knew they didn't have it. And instead of telling me that, he just gave me the other... Regular rice. And the thing I was mad at myself is why didn't I say anything? I was mentioning it to my wife five days in a row.

Sheetz is definitively better than Wawa

I do think Sheetz is better than Wawa. That's the Homer in me.

Every single movie in the Rocky franchise is good, including Rocky V

I'm actually one of the few that likes every single movie out of the whole franchise... [I like Rocky V] I do.

Tim Tebow is technically a father because of the number of Filipino boys he has circumcised.

I wouldn't say Tim Tebow's not a father. What's the exchange rate for the amount of Filipino boys that you circumcise before you become a father? ... It creates an entire child. And that is how Tim Tebow is a father.

Eating dinner with a woman who isn't your wife is a form of cheating

I think that eating is a form of cheating. I think eating is actually worse than sex. Because if you think back to cavemen, cavemen, they wouldn't share a meal, right? But they go around fucking everything. That's guy stuff. Guys like to fuck... But eating, it's like, no, this is my sacred energy source. I'm not going to share it with you.

There is no such thing as an expatriate; if an American works overseas, they are still ours and must pay taxes.

I guess the technical term, [Christian Pulisic] works overseas, so he's an expatriate. But as we discussed earlier with Chris Long, there are no such things as expatriates. So we'll claim him. Someone make sure that he's paying taxes.

The Golden State Warriors are a worse team with Kevin Durant.

I said that they were going to be worse with [Kevin Durant]. I said that. I was the only one. You called me an idiot. Guess what? The black hole is leaving Oakland, but he's the new black hole.

John Madden is actually dead and the NFL is just faking his endorsements

I think that John Madden's actually dead. I think that the NFL is just attributing quotes to John Madden when they make changes to the game of football so that everybody would be like, oh, well, John Madden's a football guy. He approves of this change.

Twitter intentionally releases bad updates just to generate free publicity through news articles.

The Twitter update... is awful but I think Twitter just does this once every few months so people will write articles about Twitter. That's really it. That's just kind of pokes the bee's nest... I think the long con is going to work.

The phrases 'you can be anything' and 'there are no stupid questions' are complete bullshit.

Two of the dumbest things that were said to every kid. You can be anything when you grow up. That's just bullshit. And two, there are no stupid questions, only stupid answers. Also bullshit. There's a ton of stupid questions.

Legalized gambling will be available across the country in five years.

Football in Vegas, I'm saying, calling your shot five years, say five years, legalized gambling all across the country, it's going to be great.

London is the next city to get an NFL franchise.

I guess this puts London as next city up, right? Yeah, because the NFL got rid of its two scary boogeymen out there, Los Angeles and Las Vegas, for wh...

The Cavaliers will win the Eastern Conference.

So they're [the Cavs] going to win the East. ... It's every single year this happens. Whatever team LeBron's on, they have a little swoon and everyone's like, uh-oh, hit the panic button. ... And then they'll win the East.