Takes

The NBA is back to being irrelevant

Who's back? NBA being Irrelevant.

Dennis Allen is the worst coach in the NFL

We also need to talk about the fact that Dennis Allen might be the worst coach of all time. And that's not being facetious. That's not being like hyperbolic. That is, if you look at the stats, I think he is somewhere around the seventh to 10th worst coach record wise.

The 2023 Super Bowl might have been Jalen Hurts' peak

What if the Super Bowl was Jalen Hurts' peak? It might've been. That's what I'm saying.

Dylan Raiola is already a bust after his commitment poem

What is this? So fellow fans await with hope in the air for Dylan to choose his purpose to declare in a weekend's decision, destiny calls to fulfill his purpose. Where a new dynasty enthralls... He's already a bust in my eyes. I'm happy for Nebraska fans, but you can't be feeling good about that poem.

The Broncos are lucky frauds who I will bet everything against in the playoffs

The Broncos are the real fraud. That was an ass kicking up and down... they're playing the Patriots and the Chargers at home and then at the Raiders. If the Broncos making the playoffs, I will bet everything I have against them. They're, they're not good. They're lucky.

Matt LaFleur might be a coordinator killer

Do we need to talk about LaFleur as being a, a coordinator killer. You know how when you have a, a quarterback that's a coach killer? Yeah. That get slapped to that label. LaFleur might be a coordinator killer. So he's fired three coordinators in five years.

Whoever loses the Dolphins vs. Cowboys game is officially a fraud

I still think that whoever loses Cowboys Dolphins I'm out on officially. The loser of this game. No one will take serious. Yeah.

Brandon Staley has set the analytics community back 40 years

Really you could say Brandon Staley has set the analytics community back like 40 years. Because he's known as the analytics poster boy, the Wonder kid of the analytics movement and the fact that his teams have fallen apart so terribly really makes you think like, I don't want my head coach ever look at a number again.

The Philadelphia Eagles are actually frauds

Are the Eagles frauds? Are the Eagles frauds? [Max: No.] Are the Eagles frauds? [Max: Yes, like you guys like set this whole thing up.]

Zach Wilson will provide a 'spark' for the Jets upon his return

I think the Jets... Zach Wilson is a spark. I do. I think he's the spark... I keep thinking about it more and more and it's like, it's, it's, it's maybe less Zach Wilson and more just looking at the board and being like, everyone's gonna say Texans minus three and a half is the easiest bet.

Jake Browning is elite

Jake Browning has arrived. He is Elite. I got a question. Is Jake Browning him? He might be... 32 for 37. 354 yards. And a Bengals win.

The Blue Jays should be eliminated from the Shohei Ohtani sweepstakes for leaking their meeting

It came out that Shhe... visiting with the Blue Jays. And I think by Sho Hays rules, the blue Jay should be eliminated. See you buddy. See you. Blue Jays. What?

The NFL should allow players to wear either zero, one, or three-plus mouthpieces

Anthony Evans... was wearing not one, not two, but three mouthpieces at once on his person. He's got a red one in his mouth, yellow one hanging down, and then he has a third mouthpiece that's jammed into his left ear hole on his helmet. I kind of love three mouthpiece. Congress needs to step in. You can't do two. You can do three or more. You can do one, zero, or three or more. That's my ruling.

The Dallas Cowboys are basically the same team they were last year

Dallas fans are so confident right now, as they should be. You're a good team, but you're basically the same team that you've been, or that you were last year at least. Yeah. Well, well, Mike McCarthy is the same guy that he was last year.

I could catch 10 passes in an NFL game today if I played tight end

I mean, at tight end? Sure. I could get 10 catches receiver three... slant back shoulder type... being savvy and understand how to get in certain positions.

Peyton Manning did the NFL a disservice by creating an unrealistic standard for athletic quarterbacks

Peyton Manning did this league a disservice... by having like, you know, 350 yards passing... All right, here comes Michael Vick. Here comes a Cam Newton... athletic quarterbacks that we're going to get the yards elsewhere... it's not the prototypical way. We're used to seeing yards being made.

Arch Manning is so good that his receivers can't catch his passes

I think Arch Manning might be too good of a quarterback. I don't think that there are receivers out there that are good enough to play with Arch Manning. He had two touchdown passes... that were just fucking laser beams right on their hands bounced off their hands. It was too good of a ball.

Travis Kelce might surprise retire after this season to pursue stardom

I look the guy is thinking about his next career... you gotta know when to make the transition and when the window's open... and it may be that the window for him is never more open than it is right now, or will be after this season.

Max is a crybaby loser for accusing me of cheating at the Lottery Ball

What Max is displaying right now is everything that's wrong with this country... Max is an excuse guy. Max is a loser. If he loses a game, instead of saying, I lost the game, he says, oh, well they cheated... It's pathetic. It's cowardly and it's disgusting... I will take away the, the, the winning 71... I will win it without looking at it before Max does.

Tommy DeVito might be a franchise quarterback

Tommy DeVito might be a franchise quarterback... he now has more touchdown passes than any QB playing in New Jersey this season. That's Zach Wilson. Obviously Aaron Rodgers got hurt. Daniel Jones, Tyrod Taylor. Yeah. Tommy DeVito might be a franchise quarterback.

Sam Howell is officially an elite NFL quarterback.

I might've just jumped past the whole Is he the guy conversation? I'm ready to ask if he's elite. Because there's as many insult graphics have been going around. There's a lot of complimentary graphics going around about Sam Howell. He's first in big time throws.

Michigan is 'America's Team' because they rely on clandestine surveillance

America loves the team that beats the odds, beats the adversity... well they yeah, they do rely on a network of clandestine surveillance to accomplish everything. I can see why that would align with the USA.

The Texas A&M head coaching position is the worst job in college football

I don't know what Texas A&M does now, because I think that might be the worst job in college football... the expectation is they're so crazy... you have to take that job knowing you're gonna get paid a lot of money and you're probably gonna fail because... the bar that they want to be at is so disconnected from where they are.

Connor McDavid is a 'coach killer'

Is Connor McDavid a coach killer? Big Cat, 'cause this is coach number four I think for him... I'm gonna say that he's a coach killer. Just because it's fun and I have no idea if it's true or not, but it's always good to just slap that label on a really good player.

The Jaguars are officially frauds

Jaguars. Are they frauds? I think they might be... they weren't really competitive against either [the Chiefs or Niners]. So yeah, I think they might be in the fraud tier.

Andrew Luck is the greatest football player of all time

I still think he's the greatest player of all time... He could do absolutely everything and would do anything for his teammates. Best leader. He was by far the best player on the field as a freshman.

Tom Izzo is an overrated basketball coach

We just squatted on a take and said, Tom Izzo is overrated. We don't actually believe it now, but just wait. 'cause the conversation's gonna happen. We wanna be the first ones to say it. Now I'm starting to believe it a little bit.

Sam Howell is a top 12 quarterback in the NFL right now

Sam Howell is firmly the guy. He's my guy. He's our guy. He's the guy in DC... Top 15 Quarterback. Top 15 Quarterback in the NFL. I would say top 12.

The NFL has finally figured out Travis Kelce

Has the NFL figured out Travis Kelce finally? Well, I think it's the, the NFL has finally figured out that the Chiefs might have some work in progress when it comes to wide receiver position.

The Cowboys are frauds if they lose to the Eagles

I say if the Cowboys lose this game. Frauds. Yeah. We're we're, we're gonna call 'em frauds. Yep. If the Eagles lose this game and it's close, we're gonna say, should you take out the panic button?

Josh McDaniels is a misunderstood genius whose offense only works with Hall of Fame players

I think maybe we're all wrong about Josh McDaniels. Maybe he is an offensive genius, but maybe there's just no players that are good enough to play football at the level that Josh McDaniels expects... his offense only works if it's Tom Brady and Randy Moss running it. And if it's anybody else, then it just looks like the biggest nightmare you've ever seen.

Tyrese Maxey is currently the best player in the NBA Eastern Conference

Tyrese Maxey is the best player in the Eastern Conference. Fact or fiction? ... hang the banner of the week. Hang, there's only been one week. If the MVP was given out today, he would win it.

Deshaun Watson does not love playing the game of football

A lot of people were having the discourse. Does Deshaun Watson love football? Mm. Does he love, does he love being a football player or does he love playing football? Mm. I love that conversation... I think he just loves being a football player. Big Cat. He loves being paid like a football player... I don't think that he loves football. He doesn't love the grind.

Justin Fields looks like an asshole for wearing sunglasses on the sideline while the team is losing

I didn't love that Justin Fields is wearing sunglasses on the sideline yet. I did love it. I know this is to makes me sound like an old guy... I don't know if you're, if you're at your job and you're wearing sunglasses, you are a piece of shit... Justin Fields wearing sunglasses and George looks like an asshole. I love Justin Fields. So, I I know. Listen, we've had 'em on the show... If I were standing next to him, I've been like, maybe what? Maybe if we're winning the sunglasses play when you're getting your ass kicked the way we got our ass kicked. Maybe take 'em off.

The Los Angeles Rams actually stink and were overrated due to a lucky Week 1 win

I have a theory that I would like to throw out there. The Rams stink... Every year there's like one or two teams that have a great week one and it sticks in our head for a while. Maybe too long. The Rams beat the Seahawks week one... Since then... their two wins after the Seahawks week one win was against the colts in overtime... and the Cardinals.

Tyrod Taylor is a better quarterback than Daniel Jones

Tyrod Taylor is better than Daniel Jones. It's so crazy how much the giants fuck that up. Like you had Daniel Jones for four years and he was, what the, somewhere between like the 15th and 20th best quarterback.

Desmond Ridder is playing much better than the public perception suggests

I do think Desmond Ridder has been better than what people think. Oh, he's been better, dude... 90% of the time this kid's played pretty good football and then there's 10% that they gotta figure out can they get rid of it or whatnot.

Dak Prescott is the most 'Mid' quarterback in the NFL

Number one, Dak Prescott for sure... I think that those guys could play as high as like a top seven, top eight, top nine quarterback. Or if, you know, my tackle's out and my number one receiver's not there, I might play as a top 12 or top 13 dude.

If the Super Bowl were played today, the Ravens would win it

If the Super Bowl were today, the Ravens would win it. I think so. They're our Super Bowl winner of the week.

The Dolphins are frauds until they beat a real team

I am of the firm believer. I love watching the Dolphins play football. They're very fun. They are on my fraud list until they beat a real team. ... they have played two teams that are at least playoff worthy teams in the Bills and the Eagles and got smoked.

The Jets are a better team than the Dolphins right now

I think the Jets are better than the Dolphins right now. ... I think the Jets play a style of football the Dolphins cannot play it. ... Good physical defenses is seems like it's [the Dolphins'] kryptonite. ... The Jets would maybe fuck up the Dolphins.

Sean Payton is intentionally tanking for Caleb Williams

Sean Payton is very clearly tanking this season... I think that the Broncos are intentionally tanking for Caleb Williams and it's maybe a smart move.

Julio Jones is currently 'Prime Julio Jones' again

I'm also fully back on Julio Jones... He's Prime Julio Jones... He said he is gonna dominate and if he says he's gonna dominate, then [I'm in].

Justin Herbert is basically Kirk Cousins in powder blue

I think we just need to intentionally recalibrate our Justin Herbert expectations. Like officially right now, Justin Herbert is basically Kirk Cousins in Powder Blue.

Players should be allowed to open-hand slap any fan who talks shit to them immediately after a loss

I really do think that Caleb Williams, like every player, if a fan goes up to you and talks shit after a devastating loss, you have like a ten second period where you can just open hand slap 'em. Yeah. Not punch. We're civilized. But I think that that would actually, if that just became a law and a rule, 'cause then fans would start acting accordingly.

The Chargers' social media account being too funny is hurting the team's culture

I think that the Chargers Twitter account is, is too funny. And and it's resulted in actual on the field losses for you. Yeah. Be serious. This is culture matters. ... If you're asking guys, Hey, is water wet when they come off the field, they're probably, that's gonna break their brains. ... I actually, I'm starting to think that Chargers truther, he might be true. It affects team culture.

If Tom Brady played for the Falcons right now, they could win a Super Bowl

I feel like if you could get Tom Brady away from some celebrity of function he's at right now and put him in a Falcon uniform, I feel like they could win a Super Bowl. Yeah. Like the quarterback is just, it's, it's too up and down. They got the town is ridiculous. ... London and what they have, like they've got a and they got a solid offensive line.

If the NFL hosts a Super Bowl in London, we should riot and reclaim England as a U.S. territory

If that happens, we riot. If we have to play a Super Bowl in England, we get all of England back as part of the United States. It's the Super Bowl. It's not the International Bowl.

The Browns might actually be better without Deshaun Watson and Nick Chubb

Do you think that the Cleveland Browns are better without Deshaun Watson, Nick Chubb and Joel Bitonio? They might be. And you had a lot of people talking about the 49ers being super injured today. Well, the Browns, they they got you beat when it comes to major injuries.

Jalen Carter is already better than Aaron Donald

Jalen Carter will be back next week... [Big Cat: Jalen Carter's already better than Aaron Donald?] Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, okay.