Takes

The visiting clubhouse at Wrigley Field was extremely small and inconvenient

Same one. It's like this. Yeah, no. It's about this big. It really is like this wide... it wasn't just not good for the visiting team, the visiting clubhouse staff. Everybody that had to be in there, it was just making life difficult.

Josh Rosen has a slightly higher evaluation grade than any quarterback in the 2019 draft class

But I still think [Josh Rosen] is slightly, in terms of my grades, I've got him rated a little bit higher than the quarterbacks in this class.

9 inches is the absolute cutoff point for NFL quarterback hand size to be successful

Nine's the cutoff point for usually having success moving forward. So, yeah. I think there is a validity to that. Outlier would be Tony Romo, and you don't draft outliers.

I was wrong about Tiger Woods never winning another major

Hand up, I never thought I'd see Tiger back in this spot. I was definitely in the camp of he'll be in it maybe a couple times, maybe flirt with one... but he'll never win another major. I was very wrong.

LeBron is struggling to find co-stars for Space Jam 2 because players don't want to deal with him

He's having a very hard time recruiting co-stars to join the movie... Giannis denied him said he doesn't he doesn't like being Hollywood... they're worried about if they go to the movie then they're gonna have to potentially play with him on his team.

Tony Bennett has revolutionized Virginia's style of play using Wisconsin's influence

I mean, Dick Bennett, you know. Indirectly a little bit. I mean, you guys, you know, kind of revolutionized our style of play, right?

I chose the Rams over meetings with Denver and Baltimore

The Rams was the first one. And after kind of spending the day there, I knew that was where I wanted to be, so I kind of just shut it down and got it done... I had a meeting with Denver and then Baltimore were the next two.

The '7 seconds or less' Suns actually played good defense, but it was overshadowed by their scoring

We did play defense. That's the sad [part]. It got overshadowed because we were scoring so much... I think especially some guys play horrible individual defenders but great team defenders... Steve [Nash] was a great—he wasn't the best on-ball defender, but he's a great team defender.

Tom Dundon only bought the AAF for its gambling technology

Albert Breer said that the speculation was that Dundon bought the league just to get access to their gambling app that they were building. So $70 million for a gambling app seems like a shrewd investment.

LeBron James drinks enough wine to equal 70 cigarettes a week

LeBron James because a study just came out that a weekly bottle of wine is as bad as smoking 10 cigarettes. And for LeBron, that's like 70 cigarettes because he drinks a bottle every night.

Having sex doggy style makes you more likely to have twins

If you have sex doggy style, you're more likely to have twins. That's a fact. If she's on top, you're more likely to have a girl. If a guy's on top, you're more likely to have a dude because you're dominant.

You cannot get pregnant in a jacuzzi

Can't get pregnant in a jacuzzi. Pre-cum is a soccer player. All these are facts. These are just stone cold facts.

The Sixers are the second biggest team in Philly, behind only the Eagles

When the team was acquired by our group in 2011 – We were the fourth team in the market. It was 100%. It was Eagles, Phillies, Flyers, Sixers. Today, without question, it's Eagles, Sixers.

Mike Francesa invented the concept of a podcast co-host

He invented co-hosts. Mike Francesa, in addition to Daily Fantasy, has invented co-hosts. My idea.

The stripes on a college football enhance the look of a spiral compared to an NFL ball

The stripes on the college... because the college ball has extra stripes. It does enhance the ability of what a spiral looks like. Because you get the NFL, you really can't tell.

I was definitely willing to break the arm of the man trying to steal my car

Were you willing to break his arm? Because that's a true armbar. Oh, yeah. I was definitely willing to break his arm. Yeah, but he basically was like, stop and cry. He basically verbally tapped. Yeah, he verbally tapped, but that didn't stop me.

The 2019 NCAA champion will come from a group of seven teams: Virginia, Duke, Michigan State, UNC, Gonzaga, Michigan, or Kentucky

There has been no team that has ever won the tournament that hasn't finished in the top 20 in adjusted offense and adjusted defense. I'm going to give you the teams right now. So if you're waiting to fill out your bracket, here are the teams that you should pick from. Virginia, Duke, Michigan State, North Carolina, Gonzaga, Michigan, Kentucky.

Duke will not reach the championship game because their three-point percentage is too low

Duke's three-point percentage is 30.2. It is the lowest in Division I men's basketball... no team, I repeat, no team has ever gotten to the championship game with a three-point percentage that low.

Zion Williamson is the closest thing to LSU-era Shaquille O'Neal in terms of physical dominance

I've never seen anything like him. The closest thing I can remember to Zion is when Shaq played at LSU. And not in terms of how good a player he is, but just the cartoon character nature of this kid's physical dominance.

Stephen A. Smith is horny all the time

Stephen A. Smith addressing his horniness... He's now clarified he's only horny some of the hours. He said a couple hours a day... He responded to someone saying, 'Sexy photo too. Evidently, you're trying to get yourself in trouble,' winky face. He's fucking horny. Dude is horny.

NFL owners, not Roger Goodell, will decide Robert Kraft's punishment

I don't think it's going to be Roger Goodell that does the things regarding Robert Kraft. I think it's going to be owners that do the things. The fellow owners. Roger Goodell, his bosses are the owners. And I believe his bosses will ultimately decide how the situation is handled.

Roy Williams has been a better coach than Coach K since 2003

Three NCAA titles as opposed to Dukes' two since Roy Williams went to UNC. ... UNC has five Final Fours as opposed to Dukes' three since Roy Williams got there. And UNC has eight regular season titles to Dukes' three since Roy Williams got there.

Michael Jordan never took days off or missed games whereas LeBron James does

Michael, no matter what, he compete, no matter what. LeBron, you can see LeBron, what he's doing. He don't even play defense anymore. He don't give a fuck. Michael played every fucking day, every day, every game. LeBron's taking days off.

Adam Schefter is helping Robert Kraft by reporting there is a 'bigger name' in the prostitution sting

Adam Schefter says there's a bigger name involved, and somehow we don't have the bigger name, which leads me to believe that Adam Schefter is doing Robert Kraft a favor by basically sending everyone on a wild goose chase to figure out if Tiger Woods got jerked off.

I am one of the top five hash makers/pressers in the world

I'm one of them. [Top five hash squishers]. For sure. There's no doubt about it. It's like the Kobe beef of making hash. I press the hash. I do the Revlon. But that's also a talent and an art in itself.

The Rams didn't add a single wrinkle to their offense for the Super Bowl

I couldn't believe that either. They really didn't do not one wrinkle... They got so many good players. They got so many things they've done all year. And the one play they gave us, which was a wrinkle, was the Brandin Cooks screen that hit for a little bit. And that was it.

The QuadrigaCX Bitcoin CEO fake-died in India to steal everyone's money

The Bitcoin guy... Big Cat goes, he's still alive. And they are investigating his death because they don't think that he's actually dead... This guy is alive. He has all your Bitcoin. If you have Bitcoin with him, I'm sorry, but he's fake dead and you're shit out of luck.

The Bitcoin exchange CEO who reportedly died with the passwords is not actually dead

There's no way he's dead, right? There hasn't been a good fake death in a while... He is living it high with, he's probably fucking whales with John McAfee in wherever the hell they are.

Todd Gurley is definitely injured despite his denials

Todd Gurley was, I think he's hurt. He denies that he's hurt, but I'm pretty sure that he was—there's something wrong with him. He's getting the Steph Curry benefit.

I can still kick a 60-yard field goal and play in the NFL on third downs

I think I could play maybe third downs... I'm good from 60 right now still. [The Bears need a kicker] Yes, they do. Come back.

LeBron James clearly tampered with Anthony Davis

Anthony Davis and LeBron James had dinner together. Wouldn't that seem kind of perfect that they waited about a month after their dinner for Anthony Davis to demand a trade? ... LeBron James probably doesn't have to pay an agent's fee. He probably owns part of Clutch Sports. And guess what? Anthony Davis is going to go to the Los Angeles Lakers... LeBron James completely tampered here.

The ground is flat but the earth is round

Ground is flat, but the earth is round.

Colton Underwood from The Bachelor is not actually a virgin

I received corroborating evidence in the form of a screenshot from someone's camera roll showing that they had that Snapchat that Colton sent back in 2014... I think that dick's been soaked before.

LeBron James wants to reunion with Kyrie Irving on the Lakers

LeBron Instagram storied a song called Rewind and said, 'this is that shit, Kyrie Irving.' ... LeBron James wanted to go back in time, press that rewind button, and have Kyrie on his team.

I successfully recruited Carmelo Anthony to the Chicago Bulls

It took five years, but I have gotten Carmelo Anthony to the Chicago Bulls. Congratulations. Thank you. We're going to wave him, and he's never going to play for the Bulls. But I did recruit him in the summer of 2014... last laugh, me.

Sean McVay owes the hosts a Super Bowl suite and a ring for birthday week

Sean McVay said that he would get us a ring if the Rams win, get us a suite at the Super Bowl... I don't think he fully took off the table that we can call the first play. [PFT]: Well, he said that we could call the last play as a kneel down.

If Tom Brady wins on the road Sunday, he will tie Mark Sanchez for road playoff wins

If Tom Brady wins on Sunday in Kansas City, he will finally tie Mark Sanchez for road playoff wins. That is elite company. The elitist.

It is bad luck to say 'good luck' to an actor before a performance.

One thing I will say, because you'll see actors kind of wince if you say it, you're not supposed to say good luck before a performance. That is bad luck to say good luck when you're talking to an actor.

Vikings GM Rick Spielman's game day routine is absolute insanity

Rick Spielman... eats the same breakfast sandwich: fried egg, bacon, and peanut butter on a wheat round. He shaves the left side of his face, then the right. He puts his shoes and socks on before his pants. Leaves his house at the same time so he can arrive at the stadium at 8... uses the same pump, and makes sure always to end his purchase on a zero. Zeros are just good.

The NFC North is currently a league of coaches named Matt

The next one is going to be – fuck, I wrote down the name. I think it's going to be Zach Taylor... But bonus point, if your name's Matt, because now the NFC North has three Matts as their head coaches. Three out of four Matts.

I will keep making the pinky bet until I actually lose the tip of my pinky

I'm addicted to it, and next year I'm going to pick a team to cut my pinky off if they win the Super Bowl. ... I will not stop this bet until I cut off the tip of my pinky.

The Ravens' run offense is only successful because of Lamar Jackson's threat

The holes are ginormous. Like, and that's the thing that's unbelievable about a running quarterback is you don't have to block certain people because his fake will block a lot of people. You don't have to block the DN [defensive end] to the left because a DN to the left has to, he has to acknowledge Lamar.

The Freedom Football League will give fans who buy season tickets equity in the team

One of our main things is when people buy season tickets, they get part of the team. It'll be like owning a stock. So in the future, if the team is successful and sponsorships are coming in and the league is growing, fans are going to get a check in the mail.

The 2018 Bears defense is statistically better in every category than the 1985 Bears

What I found was this team [2018 Bears] is statistically better in every single defensive category than the 1985 Chicago Bears. This is the best defensive team that Chicago has ever seen.

Cam Newton is clearly playing through a severe shoulder injury

If you have two eyes and a brain, Cam Newton is very, very hurt... Different guy since he got hit by T.J. Watt in that Thursday night football game.

The Chicago Bulls are viewed as a 'joke' around the NBA

Nick Friedell is our insider today... He said, around the league, when you go around and talk to people, the word they use talking about the Chicago Bulls is a joke.

The Dolphins always lose the week after beating the Patriots

this game will be interesting because the Dolphins, after a win against the Patriots, they stink, historically. Last three games, three times they beat the Patriots. That's their Super Bowl. 24-16, they lost. 29-10, they lost. 19-0, they lost.

No NFL team has ever gone 0-3 then 8-0 and failed to win the Super Bowl

Has any team ever gone 0-3 and then 8-0 and then not won the Super Bowl? It's never happened. It's never happened before.

If you had vaccinations, your genitalia wouldn't look like cauliflower

In terms you can understand [Reggie Bush], if Kim Kardashian had gotten the Gardasil vaccine, then your dick wouldn't look like a cauliflower.

Chinese food lacks cheese because of lactose sensitivity in Asia

I actually know the answer to this. Because Asian people, by and large, are more sensitive to lactose. So when they first opened up ice cream shops and stuff like that over in China, most people got sick and went out of business.