Takes

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems... This guy went to the practice field with a gause meter. It read 8.5 plus milligauss.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

The 49ers are statistically the most injured team in the NFL over the past decade since moving to Levi's stadium... Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts. ... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems. ... This guy is saying that the Niners are just getting bombarded with electric waves all day, which is fucking up their bodies.

The Chiefs should just quit for the season now that Patrick Mahomes is out with a torn ACL

There's never been a team that like deserves to quit more than the Chiefs. They've been playing so much football for the last five years... Patrick Mahomes just tore his ACL. If you're a Chiefs player, listen to this right now. Just fucking quit. Just quit.

The 'torch' has been passed to Drake May and it cannot be passed back to Josh Allen

The torch has been passed and that's it. It's over... Drake may has the torch and then it will go until we pass it to someone else... It can't go back.

Shedeur Sanders isn't actually controversial; the polarization is driven entirely by external conversations about him.

The most controversial parts of Shedeur Sanders are actually not Shedeur Sanders. It's what other people say about Shedeur Sanders. ... As a guy goes, I don't think that Shedeur is the reason—it's everybody else talking about [him].

Matthew Stafford's 31 career pick-sixes is actually a complimentary stat

Matthew Stafford has 31 [pick-sixes]. Brett Favre has 32. And you're like, 'Ooh, that's a bad stat.' And then you realize... that means you're very, very good because you played long enough that it didn't actually matter. It's actually kind of a compliment that the rest of your game is so good that 31 pick-sixes are completely irrelevant.

The Texans' defense is the best singular unit of any team in the AFC.

The Texans might be the best singular unit of any team in the AFC. ... Their defense is for real. And it's, it's like, shit, man. They, they beat the fuck—what they did to Josh Allen a couple weeks ago was like, oh man.

The Italian race is essentially finished because they are too attracted to Latinas

He [Jersey Jerry] told me today that Italians were done in this country... because a lot of them are attracted to Latinas. And so then they have kids with Latinas and then there's no more Italians.

The Colts are the best team in football right now

The Colts who are the best team in football... Their offense is absolutely electric. They are like, they're just well-rounded all the way through.

Tua Tagovailoa has 'low eyes' which causes him to miss linebackers

I feel like this is why in the draft you measure quarterbacks up to the eyeballs. You don't measure 'em to the top of the head. Tua's got a lot of wasted space in the forehead. Makes him a little bit taller on paper than he really is. He's got low eyes.

Patrick Mahomes is officially washed after being under .500 for two days

Mahomes is washed. Washed. These two days under 500 he's washed.

Drake Maye will beat a winning team for the first time this week (Okie Doke)

I think this is the week that that Drake Maye finally beats a team that's above .500. I think he's done a great job getting to this place... he's put in the prep. This is the week where Drake Maye beats a winning team.

The 2024 Eagles are the worst 20-1 team in NFL history

Is this Eagle's team the worst 20 and one team in their last 21 games of all time... every, literally every negative thing that I've said about the Eagles this year has come from a place of extreme jealousy and also trying to stir Max up... I think the Eagles, yeah, they're the worst.

Jalen Hurts is the new Joe Flacco

I think he's, he's become the new Joe Flacco where he won a Super Bowl, but everyone's trying to fight. Is Jalen Hurts Elite sound off in the comments?

The Patrick Mahomes 'conversation' will be triggered if the Chiefs lose badly to the Ravens

At what point do we have to say there's maybe Mahomes isn't what he was... This is the conversation game. If they lose and it's close, then it's not the time for the conversation. Right. But we will have a definitive answer after this game.

Caleb Williams needs to take more shots and throw more interceptions

I wouldn't mind if Caleb had a couple more interceptions. We're getting to a point now where he doesn't throw interceptions and it feels like I'd like him to take some more shots. Just take a couple shots. Take like that hesitancy he talked about himself. Let it rip.

I am officially back in on Kyle Pitts this season

I'm officially back in on Kyle Pitts. Oh no. I'm officially back in. Hear me out... [Kirk Cousins] is a different quarterback than has been throwing the ball to Kyle Pitts over the last two years. He might be smart enough to realize that Kyle Pitts is really theoretically good at football.

The Packers are the best team in the NFL by far and will win the Super Bowl

I'm gonna take the Packers in this game. The Packers are the best team in the NFL. I don't even think it's close. Not close. They're gonna win the Super Bowl.

Patrick Mahomes might be washed

Mahomes might be washed. He just discussed, he didn't play great at the end of the year. They choked in the Super Bowl.

Jaden Daniels is the fifth best quarterback in the NFL

I watched an hour of his highlights in the 4th of July... I think he's five. I think just, yeah, he's five.

Aaron Judge is not a true Yankee because he hasn't won a World Series

I would go even further and say he's [Aaron Judge] not a true Yankee. Which is funny because he's had some of the best seasons of all time by any offensive player. Still not a true Yankee... You can't be a true Yankee in the regular season. The Yankees season starts in October.

Jalen Brunson is the next 'Can't Win The Big One' guy in the NBA

How about this one? Hank, you're gonna like this one. Jalen Brunson. Mm. Does that do anything for you? Yeah. Not clutch at all... I'm trying to predict where the narratives are gonna go next... The Knicks were built to beat the Celtics this year.

Kevin O'Connell is a regular season merchant who can't win in the playoffs

Kevin O'Connell. Can't, can't win in the playoffs. Oh. He's a regular season merchant... Bringing the best out of him. Getting high seeds, losing the playoffs. Just something to keep your eye on. Keep an eye on.

TJ Watt's injury might be a psychological 'Art of War' ploy to trick the Ravens

I have a theory about TJ Watt's injury... I think this could be an Art of War situation. Sun Sue Art of War. Make your enemy think that you were weak when you were strong... Start throwing out the one in 10 without TJ Watts Stats... Let people start thinking during the week of practice. Maybe TJ's not gonna be playing this week.

The Jaguars +14 against the Lions is the NFL makes no sense game of the year

I think so. This is like, this is the 'NFL makes no sense' game of maybe the year... NFL makes no sense. There's not like stats behind it. I am very close. But that, but it happens every year. There's always games where it's like, how the fuck did the Lions lose to the Jaguars when the playoffs come?

Jerry Jones should trade Micah Parsons to reload on draft picks

If I were Jerry Jones, reload on draft picks and trade Micah Parsons. You have to pay him and your problem right now is it seems like you have lack of depth going forward. What's gonna happen yet? You locked up Dak, you locked up CD, you're gonna have to pay Micah Parsons. You could probably get a lot for him.

Mike Tomlin is starting Russell Wilson against the Jets so he can fail and Tomlin can go back to Justin Fields

Mike Tomlin, a man of his word, is like, I know I have a better chance with Justin Fields, but I promised Russell Wilson he's the starter. ... He's gonna throw him out against the Jets to basically have him suck. And then he is gonna be like, 'see you guys told me that I need to start Russell Wilson. I told Russell Wilson it wasn't his job to lose. He sucks. Justin Fields.'

Having a slow pass rush is actually an advantage against Lamar Jackson because it maintains contain

Is it maybe sneaky a good thing that our pass rush on the end sucks against Lamar [Jackson]? Because you naturally keep contain because you're not good enough to get downfield and turn that corner. They're so slow they can't physically give up contain.

Jayden Daniels is already thinking about Super Bowls with the Commanders

I'm sorry. I don't like thinking about the Super Bowls with Jayden. My bad.

The Eagles' coaching staff is currently talentless and should just consist of coordinators with no head coach

[The Eagles] are a player led team. It's true. Just coordinators. No head coach. [The coaches] are not talented right now... talent's not something you can just, like, it doesn't go up and down. No. Yeah, it's not a hot and cold thing.

The Mountain West stinks and the conference's teams will lose every game in the NCAA Tournament

The Mountain West stinks. Mountain West loses every game. UAB plus six and a half. ... UAB is a pretty good program. ... I think UAB's pretty good.

Connor Stallions has been working for the Baltimore Ravens since resigning from Michigan

Do you think that there's any chance at all that Connor Stallions has been working for the Ravens since he resigned from Michigan? I think it's not a 0% chance... I'm just gonna float it out there with absolutely no backing behind it. Besides the fact that McDonald's used to coach at Michigan. And Connor Stallions is a hardball guy for life.

Zach Wilson's return will provide a spark for the Jets, if only because the other options were so much worse

I think the Jets... Zach Wilson is a spark. I do. I think he's the spark... I keep thinking about it more and more and it's like... everyone's gonna say Texans minus three and a half is the easiest bet. Zach Wilson might be a spark.

The Eagles and Cowboys matchup will be a 'battle of fraud defenses'

I also, I think this is the battle of fraud defenses... In five games this year against [bad] teams, [the Cowboys have] given up eight points per game. And the other seven games are giving up 27 points... I love this over.

The Cowboys are frauds if they lose to the Eagles

I say if the Cowboys lose this game. Frauds. Yeah. We're we're, we're gonna call 'em frauds. Yep. If the Eagles lose this game and it's close, we're gonna say, should you take out the panic button?

The Los Angeles Rams actually stink and were overrated due to a lucky Week 1 win

I have a theory that I would like to throw out there. The Rams stink... Every year there's like one or two teams that have a great week one and it sticks in our head for a while. Maybe too long.

Tyrod Taylor is a better quarterback than Daniel Jones

Tyrod Taylor is better than Daniel Jones. It's so crazy how much the giants fuck that up. Like you had Daniel Jones for four years and he was, what the, somewhere between like the 15th and 20th best quarterback.

Sean Payton is intentionally tanking for Caleb Williams

Sean Payton is very clearly tanking this season... I think that the Broncos are intentionally tanking for Caleb Williams and it's maybe a smart move.

The Eagles' Kelly Green jerseys are worth an extra seven points on the field

I've done the computer models, everything that I, I've, I've put into the numbers, crunched 'em all. I think that Kelly Green Jerseys are worth seven points. Seven Points.

Julio Jones is currently 'Prime Julio Jones' again

I'm also fully back on Julio Jones... He's Prime Julio Jones... He said he is gonna dominate and if he says he's gonna dominate, then [I'm in].

You must fade any team the week after they score 70 points

I might just put this in my gambling portfolio: any team that scores 70, fade them the next week. If you score 70 points in a game on 71 plays, you can't tell me you don't go into the facility the next day like, 'We're the best, we'll just run the same plays.'

The Bears vs. Bucs game is the biggest in Bears franchise history

I was premature. The Bears going to Tampa Bay is the biggest game in Bears franchise history. I'll just say that right now. I was a week early on my prediction of biggest game in Bears franchise history. This is a must win.

The Commanders defensive line is better than the Eagles defensive line

The commanders, I think, have a better defensive line than even the Philadelphia Eagles do. Rivera's gonna be on the war path and it's gonna be nice and I think the commanders in that defensive line, which is the best in the NFL across, across all divisions.

Anthony Richardson is a 'follower' because he copied Will Levis hitting the ceiling at his pro day

Anthony Richardson did it and said that he hit the roof on purpose because Will Levis did it. This is my red flag. I want my quarterback to be a leader, not a follower. Like he was copying someone else. He was like following the lead.

Mark Davis will sign Tom Brady and include a clause requiring them to hang out together once a month

Mark Davis would sign Brady and there would be a clause in his contract... you have to hang out with me once a month. Like we have to go out together once a month.

JJ Watt is a better football player than he is a person

He was a much better player? Yes. He was like one of the top three all-time players... He has three defensive player of the year awards Only one man of the year award. So I'd say he's a better, the stats don't lie. He's a better player than he is a person.

Weather is not real and the Bills vs. Dolphins game will go over the total

Hank weather isn't real. Also over 44... This is going way over. I'm a big believer in, it's one thing I know... Saturday night. Great game weather doesn't matter. This is going way over.

Removing ping pong tables from the locker room makes the Bengals a lock to beat the Browns

This is a ping pong table game for Cincinnati. No distractions. I'm a big believer in ping pong tables. If you, it doesn't matter if you put the ping pong tables into the locker room or if you take them out of the locker room, if you're moving a ping pong table around that week, I will bet on your team.

Mike White's ceiling is Tom Brady

So I like Mike. His ceiling is Tom Brady. I said this when he got his ceiling is Tom Brady.

The Jets actually come back worse at their job when they have a bye week

The Jets are 0-6 straight up off the bye since 2015. I think that's like the Jets... when they take a week off work, they actually come back worse at their job. They should bypass the bye.