Takes

The Mets are spineless pussies who couldn't get it done

The Mets are just a bunch of spineless pussies and they just couldn't get it done. Pete Alonso was out the door before the game ended. They're gonna get their teeth kicked in by the Dodgers.

Beards are causing baseball injuries because the face is connected to the elbow

My who's back is baseball injuries 'cause Garrett Cole's out for the year... Bad Tommy John. They should never change the rules about shaving your face. Like this, this would not have happened if he was clean shaven. That's true. That's your, your face. Your face is connected to your shoulder, to your elbow.

Rickey Henderson is the best lead-off hitter of all time

Rickey Henderson... was such a awesome, awesome baseball player to watch. All his base stealing records are just insane... Best lead off hitter of all time.

Juan Soto will sign with the Boston Red Sox

I'm seeing some tweets. I'm seeing some reports... Juan Soto's sister looking at apartments in Boston... Mick Kirk Han guy reported that he's a hundred percent signing with the Red Sox... I've just convinced myself we're getting Soto.

The 2024 White Sox are a historically bad anomaly, worse than the 1940s Phillies

The Chicago White Sox who are on a 20 game losing streak... If you just erased their 14 game losing streak and their 20 game losing streak, they would still have the worst winning percentage in baseball this year... Only two managers in baseball history have at least 200 games managed for the same team, and a winning percentage under 333... Pedro Grifol and a guy named Dr. James Prothro, who managed the Phillies during World War II.

MLB will fix the uniform lettering and sweat-wicking issues by the 2025 season

There was a report that came out that basically said Nike fucked up the uniforms. We're working to fix 'em. We're gonna get the bigger names in the back of the jerseys and everything should be fixed at the latest, at the start of the 2025 season.

Nestor Cortes' fake pitch is awesome because of how much it bothers baseball traditionalists

I'm Now on Cortez's side. All right. I Now think it's an awesome pitch. I didn't [know] it made people that mad. So, I mean, there's no way this is actually like a strategy that could like [work]... I Now think it's an awesome pitch. If it makes people mad, that rules.

The obsession with velocity is destroying MLB pitchers' arms

Everyone's obsessed with velocity... everyone just looking at the numbers being like, you gotta throw a hundred, you gotta throw a hundred. And arms are just getting pushed to this max at a early age and everyone's destroying their arms.

Shohei Ohtani to the Dodgers is not more impactful than Jackie Robinson

Ben Verlander... said that Shohei Ohtani to the Dodgers is the most important signing in Dodgers history... Jackie Robinson? ... Pretty impactful. The word impactful was really interesting to us. Most important, most impactful.

Every MLB free agent contract is technically an overpay but it doesn't matter without a salary cap

If the roles were reversed, you would be so over the moon about this. And yes, every contract free agent contract in MLB history is an overpay because you're paying for past accomplishments and who cares? There's no salary cap. It's not your money.

Jose Altuve is the most clutch baseball player since David Ortiz

Altuve might be the most clutch guy since Big Papi. Every big moment he comes up huge.

The Yankees should extend both Aaron Boone and Brian Cashman

I think they should extend Aaron Boone. Yeah. I think he's the steady hand and Cashman. I think Aaron Boone is a steady hand that the Yankees need to control their franchise. ... We official vote of confidence as they should extend both of them. Yes.

Signing Aaron Judge to a mega-deal was a mistake

Build around Aaron Judge. ... I don't know if you wanna build around Aaron Judge. He's like 32 isn't he? They just signed him to a mega deal. I know that was a mistake. ... He's gonna be 32 before next season. Okay. Whew. And he's got like 14 years left on his contract.

Every MLB team should be required to play a series in Mexico City

Every team should have to play like a series in Mexico City because it was awesome... The Giants and Padres played in Mexico City, which is 2000 feet higher than Denver. And on Saturday it was like a softball game. There were 11 home runs.

The MLB pitch clock makes fans feel rushed and ruins the 'fuck around' time at the stadium

I fucking hate the pitch clock... because I sit down there... I'm trying to chit chat, socialize like how I usually do... I feel like I'm rushed at a table, at a restaurant that's trying to flip table. I want there to be more fuck around time. So if I get food, I don't miss anything.

The Phillies will sweep their three home games and win the World Series without returning to Houston

I love my guys. We're gonna win the next three games. We won't even go back to Houston. ... We're gonna score so many runs this week.

The Dodgers' 2020 World Series title doesn't count

The Dodgers have not won anything. We can We agree The bubble, the bubble championship didn't, didn't count.

Aaron Judge will break the AL home run record in the final two weeks of the season

Aaron Judge, two more home runs today. He's at 59, two shy of Roger Maris. These final two weeks got to be locked in. Even if you're not a Yankee fan, it's history. 61 home runs the Yankee record and the non-steroid record.

Tennessee Baseball are clowns for missing the College World Series

I don't think... it's a fine line between being a bad boy and being a clown. I think if you don't actually make it [to Omaha], then you're a clown. Yeah.

Bet against the Pittsburgh Pirates in every single road game this season to make money

My algorithm is thus, you just bet against the Pittsburgh Pirates every single game... we're going to bet on road games, every pirates team under and for the other team to win Moneyline against the pirates. And we're going to all make a bunch of money.

Gerrit Cole is a loser for blaming a four-minute delay on a bad start

Garrett Cole said that the game being delayed four minutes was an unforeseen challenge for him. He said the festivities got a little away from the schedule... he's just a loser. Before he came to New York, everyone just assumed he was like the bad-ass dude... then he comes to New York and he's just, he's like sweaty. And he can't answer questions correctly.

The 'Sampson Effect' causes players to perform worse when they join the Yankees and have to shave

If you have to cut your hair or shave to change your personal appearance, I bet it throws you off Sampson effect. I bet you it's almost every player that goes there... Randy Johnson shave his beard when he sucked, when he was in the eighties.

MLB should adopt the Savannah Bananas rule where a fan catching a foul ball is an out

Banana ball rule number nine, if a fan catches a foul ball, it's an out and it happened and it went viral... I feel like the majors should consider... if they did that to the majors, that'd be, that would change the game with home field.

Tommy Tanks is the main attraction of college baseball

Tommy Tanks he's on NC state. I believe it's seven home runs in his first nine... he's kind of the main story, the main attraction of college baseball this year with no [MLB] baseball going on, it's getting even more heightened coverage.

The Braves vs. Astros World Series will not interest a national audience

I feel bad the sport of the MLB. Cause like, let's be honest, Braves Astros. Doesn't really get the needle moving for a national audience.

The Red Sox are going to win the World Series

I mean, the Red Sox, I think they're going to win the World Series at this point. I think everything that happens... doesn't it feel like they have those weird vibes going now?

High-fiving the opposing pitcher after hitting a home run is over the line

The high five of the opposing pitcher is over the line and I don't support it. The pitcher runs up to home plate, high fives the batter as he's running around... That's too much for me.

Tony La Russa will win MLB Manager of the Year

He's gonna win manager of the year. It's going to be so funny when that happens and everyone's going to be [pissed].

Triple plays should replace no-hitters because they are cooler.

Triple plays should replace no-hitters because they're cooler than no-hitters.

Defensive teams should score a run if they turn a triple play.

Actually, I think you should be able to get a run for a triple play. On defense, you should be able to score a run if you get a triple play... give us what the fans want, and that's defensive runs.

Anthony Rizzo's home run made everyone forget about his vaccination status

Anthony Rizzo was under fire on Friday because he didn't get vaccinated. But then he had like one of those 16-pitch at-bats where he had a home run... pretty much all is forgiven. And nobody's going to bring up the vaccination stuff after an at-bat like that.

There are more complete-game one-hitters than no-hitters in MLB history

I'll bet that there's more. [Complete game one-hitters]. I'm not a math guy, but I'm rolling with math on this one.

Baseball suffered the most from having no fans in attendance

I'm very excited about baseball season because baseball, I think, was the sport that suffered the most not having fans in attendance. It didn't feel real with nobody in the stands. There's something about going to a baseball game in the middle of the day in the summertime.

The Chicago Cubs prospect Jesus Camargo was likely a front for a drug cartel

Jesus Camargo was arrested after police found 21 pounds of meth in his team equipment bag... Is this something that's an organizational thing where he was assigned to do that? I wouldn't put it past Ricketts to make money any which way. It would not shock me. It'd actually be good for baseball if the Chicago Cubs were just straight up like the Juarez cartel.

Mystery teams in MLB trade rumors are never actually real

I don't think these mystery teams ever real. Swooping in last-second franchise mode... I guess the mystery team is now the front-runner.

Gerrit Cole is going to 'shove' in the World Series

Gerrit Cole is about to show you... he's gonna shove. I'm saying it's gonna shove.

Joe Maddon will not return as the manager of the Chicago Cubs.

Joe Maddon out as Cubs manager... Joe Maddon will not return as manager of the Cubs. What's your Source? My brain.

Regional Little League World Series games are more exciting than the actual World Series in Williamsport

I don't know if this is a hot take or not, but the regional part of it before the actual Little League World Series is almost more exciting because... the America versus America, like Kentucky, Iowa versus Minnesota, those games are electric.

Bartolo Colon is definitely going to return to MLB

So he [Bartolo Colon] is going to be back. It's a pre-laden back. I saw a tweet saying that he was signed with the Tigers, and then everyone's like, that's fake news... but he is going to be back.

The Vladimir Guerrero Jr. hype will get old by mid-season

MLB, I will say, they're kind of overdoing. Every time he does anything, they're like, Vladimir Guerrero, Vladimir Guerrero... I think halfway through the season, it's going to get a little old.

Albert Pujols is the best Angel of all time

3,000 hit club, Albert Pujols, Los Angeles Angels. Probably the best angel of all time, right? [PFT:] Angel for life. [Big Cat:] Move on. Best angel going into Cooperstown with that bronze angel hat.

Derek Jeter will not last five years as Marlins owner

I'm being told by some other people I know in baseball... We don't think Jeter lasts the five years. We think that the owners and investors have a pressure on him.

The Philadelphia sports winning streak will end when baseball season starts

I mean, I don't know when this run is going to cease. Probably baseball season. Hopefully. Definitely baseball season.

Tim Tebow will play in the Major Leagues

Tim Tebow is back big time... their GM said that he thinks that Tim Tebow will play at the major league level. This is ridiculous. And you know what? Why not? If you're the Mets, I actually think it's borderline negligence that they haven't had Tim Tebow play in a major league game yet.

Washington sports teams will win the World Series and Stanley Cup this year

Washington is back. It's the Nats year. It's the Caps year... So they're going to win the World Series. They're going to win the Stanley Cup.

Bryce Harper will lead the Nationals to a surefire World Series title

He's coming back to lead the Nationals to a surefire World Series. It's the Nats year. This is the year that Natitude is back.

Brawls are necessary for people to care about baseball

Brawling in baseball is good for baseball. It's great for baseball. ... Brawls need to happen in baseball for people to care about baseball more than they do right now.

I almost got a tattoo of Javier Baez on the back of my neck after seeing his slide against the Blue Jays.

Javi Baez had such a good slide for the Cubs to win an extra inning... In that time, I almost got myself an El Mago tattoo. ... Maybe on the back of my neck like his MLB tattoo.

The Aaron Judge slump is caused by participating in the Home Run Derby

The Aaron Judge, did he fuck up his swing, is fully back. He's like one for 14 right now. I think we called that before the home run derby even started, right?

Clayton Kershaw is the 'asshole' of Major League Baseball

For Clayton Kershaw, he's just like the – would you consider him an asshole?... every pitcher, if they're going to be a really good pitcher, they need to have a streak of being an asshole. Yeah, so we'll call Clayton the asshole of Major League Baseball.