Takes

The Houston Rockets got 100 times better simply by letting Dwight Howard leave

I went Dwight Howard. Like, he just left, and [the Rockets] got 100 times better. Addition by subtraction. I love it.

Joel Embiid will stop being funny on Twitter when he starts playing poorly or getting hurt more

I predicted like a month ago how Joel would not be so funny on Twitter when he starts fucking up. So this is the first one. He's injured like every other day. He's got a lot of time to go back and forth. Take away his umlaut over the Joel. You're just Joel now.

Grayson Allen will be a first-round NBA draft pick

Were we saying before that Grayson Allen's going to be a top 10 pick? Top first round pick? No. He's going to be first round pick. Maybe very, very late.

Phil Jackson is only at the Knicks because James Dolan is a sucker

I respect [Phil Jackson] for spotting the sucker in the room and basically saying, oh, James Dolan wants me to come and work for him, and I don't have to move, and I don't have to do anything, and he's going to pay me millions of dollars. What's the worst going to happen?

LeBron James will play in the NBA until his son Bronny enters the league

LeBron is going to keep playing until LeBron Jr.'s in the NBA... LeBron can be like, I always wanted to play in a game against my son, and they're going to do that whole fucking sappy-ass shit... and then we're going to be like, shit, we have another LeBron for another 20 years?

LeBron James pretends he doesn't care about the Warriors, but he cares deeply

LeBron said, no, we're not rivals. He basically just said, I don't want to talk about that. I don't care about the Warriors. They can do their thing. Meanwhile, I'm pretty sure LeBron made them put up a big poster right outside their locker room when they went to Cleveland earlier in the year, like the block and all that stuff. So classic LeBron. He's just pretending like he doesn't care, even though he cares deeply.

Boston sports fans would love Gordon Hayward because he is a white player

A lot of stuff in the news about Gordon Hayward and Boston fans booing Jae Crowder, cheering for Hayward. Then Bomani Jones got on the air and said that Boston fans would absolutely love Gordon Hayward, which I think they would. I don't think that's out of bounds.

The Knicks will never win as long as James Dolan is the owner

As long as James Dolan is the owner of the Knicks, the Knicks aren't winning shit. And you know that. I know that. Spike Lee knows that.

Jimmy Butler has gotten better every single year of his career

Jimmy Butler has gotten better like every single year of his career. And I know you're a hater... He's been awesome. He is the Bulls team.

The Charlotte Hornets will have a 4-1 record by Monday.

Actually, we're probably not going to have this interview until Monday, so what's your record going to be then? Probably 4-1.

If Jimmy Butler wins NBA MVP, PFT Commenter will get a sex change.

PFT says that Jimmy Butler is not a top 20 player and that if he – he's not going to win MVP, but he has thrown this out there that if Jimmy Butler does somehow win an MVP, PFT is going to get a sex change.

The Sacramento Kings and Brooklyn Nets will both fail to win 50 games this season

Neither the Nets nor the Kings are going to win 50 games this year... by the power in Pardon My Take and all that are curses and witchcraft.

I will get a sex change if Jimmy Butler wins NBA MVP

I'll put this out. I will go ahead and I'll have a sex change if Jimmy Butler becomes the MVP. I will become Marlon's woman. Done.

The 76ers should sit Ben Simmons for his entire rookie year

Honestly, I feel like they're not going to want to rush it. Like why would you rush back a number one pick and risk him getting hurt again? So why not just sit him out the whole year?

It's not time to hit the panic button on the Warriors yet

I said that it was going to take some time for chemistry to develop. Only one ball between the whole team. So I'd say that it's not time to hit the panic button yet, but we're getting close.

The Houston Rockets will win over 44 games this season

Hank, give me Houston's number. I'm going to take the over regardless of what it is. 44. Mike D'Antoni's first year, and they got rid of Dwight Howard, and they're moving James Harden to the point. That team's going to score like 120 points a game. I'm way over.

The Memphis Grizzlies will lose in six games in the first round of the playoffs

I have a prediction for the Grizzlies. They're going to play really good defense and lose in six games in the first round.

There will be no more national anthem protests in the NBA this season

I don't think we're going to see any. We've seen some like link to arms... but their sort of take is, great, Colin Kaepernick, they're pretty supportive of what he did as a group... but they need to do our own thing. And they've been trying to find sort of actual, you know, whether it's town halls... doing things like that that they think can make a real world impact.

The 2016 WNBA season was destined to be Candace Parker's year

If you follow the WNBA, you knew this was Candace Parker's season. The Los Angeles Sparks are your WNBA champions.

The Minnesota Lynx are an 'odd-year' dynasty

Are the Lynx still considered a dynasty, or was this their dynasty year because they won in 2011? 13, 15, people forget, odd year Lynx.

Team Australia went into the 2016 Olympics believing they could beat Team USA

I think we went in believing we could beat them [Team USA]. And I think we showed that, you know, we had the opportunities to. And we're a team that had played together for a lot of years. And I think that counts for something.

The Chicago Bulls have the only logo in the NBA that has never changed

The Bulls logo. Here's a fun fact for you, Hank. The only logo in the NBA that's never changed. And it's got blood on it, too. People forget. It's got blood on the horns.

DeAndre Jordan values an Olympic Gold medal over an NBA ring because he'll never win a championship

I like it because Carmelo [Anthony] and DeAndre [Jordan] are both guys who are kind of talented. But they're probably never going to win a championship unless they change teams. So what better way for DeAndre to capitalize on the surge of patriotism... than to say, yeah, you know what? It's all about the medal.

The Warriors window will open in a year and a half and they will be set for the next 5-10 years

This is basically a free agent signing for the Warriors. Like, getting the Cavaliers to commit this much money to [LeBron] right now... So the Warriors are going to be – their window is going to open up in like a year and a half. And then they're going to be set for the next like five, ten years.

LeBron James is going to leave Cleveland a second time

Well, I also saw on SportsCenter today people were saying they were using the phrase like this was almost as bad as LeBron the first time he left Cleveland... So would that imply there's a second time? Huh. Huh. We're just connecting the dots, people.

USA Basketball is definitively better than every other country

USA basketball in America, better than every other country. I'm not saying that just to say it. I'm saying it because we have a yacht where our basketball team sleeps.

I will be sad when LeBron James finally signs with the Lakers and the free agency update segment ends

And that was our LeBron James free agency update. I'm going to be really sad when it's over, when he finally signs with the Lakers and we have to stop doing it. It's going to suck.

LeBron James is playing a leverage game with his free agency

I think LeBron's playing a leverage game. And wouldn't you? Dude, I mean, that letter in Comic Sans, you can forgive, babe, but you don't forget.

LeBron James is still technically a free agent until he puts pen to paper

LeBron James is still a free agent sign. I had so many people coming up to me fact-checking me on that. I was like, nope, he hasn't signed. And then they'd be like, yeah, well, but he said he's going to sign. And I was just like, hmm.

The biggest takeaway from Kevin Durant's move is that the NBA now only has two teams

The biggest takeaway is it sucks for the NBA as a whole that there's basically only two teams.

Shaquille O'Neal used to walk around the Miami Heat locker room fully naked all the time

When he gets out the shower and stuff, everybody else is putting towels on and wrapping up. [Shaq] will come out just naked. Yeah, that's Shaq for you. I've seen him come in the locker room several times and do it.

The Cavaliers will beat the Warriors in Game 7 with a final score of 93-89

My prediction is I feel like the Cavs are going to take this one somewhere in the neighborhood of 93 to 89. I don't expect Love to have a big night scoring, but I do think he's going to make a statement on the boards. You can expect another triple-double from LeBron coming. Curry is going to choke big time again. I'd be shocked if he got above 17 points total.

The Warriors are dead and crumbling

The Warriors are dead. They're dead, and they have totally crumbled. They're falling apart at the seams. Steph Curry's throwing mouth guards at fans. Egregious act, by the way.

Jimmy Butler is a relevant NBA player

He is a relevant player, so stop. And I know I just said that twice, which makes it seem like I'm trying to convince myself he's a relevant player, but he is a relevant player. That was the third time.

I predict LeBron James and the Cavaliers will win Game 7

I unfortunately think LeBron is going to win game seven, and it's going to be torturous to watch.

Game 3 of the 2016 NBA Finals is a 'can't lose' for the Cavaliers

I think it's a can't lose because if they lose it, then the series has officially begun and then Steph Curry is going to just put the nail in the coffin in game four. So they have to win it because if they lose it, then they won't win another one.

The 1990s Bulls are the best team of all time based on combined regular and postseason records

If you add up the regular season and the postseason record, the Bulls already have the title for best team of all time. This chicken is fucked. Put to bed. Tucked in. Like a cigarette.

Cavaliers in 7 over the Warriors

I unfortunately have the Cavs in 7. I think the Cavs are going to win.

Kevin Durant will leave the OKC Thunder

I'm finished with him. I think that Durant's going to leave, and I hope that he does, and he's going to go to the Wizards or the Celtics or the Clippers or the Lakers or the Spurs or the Rockets.

Chris Humphries will never win an NBA title

If Chris Humphries is ever going to win a national championship, I don't think that he'll win a title. Curse. Curse. Sorry, Chris. You're on the list.

The NBA and Kevin Durant should stop exaggerating player heights

When did Kevin Durant become seven feet tall? He's six foot nine, right? They used to call Ben Wallace a seven footer and it's like he was at least six, I don't know, ten or something like that. Kevin Durant's... that's giving him more than a few inches. I often hear this with LeBron... they add 10 pounds and they add at least one inch every time they talk about him. I hope we can pull back from that on Kevin Durant.

People forget that Steven Adams is only 22 years old

People forget that Steven Adams is 22 years old. It's unbelievable because he looks like he's 37. It's crazy.

LeBron James is the first player I would pick to start a team today

If you're starting a team today... the first person I'd pick right now would still be LeBron James.

If Steph Curry loses in the finals, the public will turn on him and call him a fraud

Everybody rooted for him last year because he was the skinny kid... Now he's so confident in his abilities, people are starting to turn on him. If he loses in the playoffs or in the finals, they're going to be like, I guess he couldn't hang with the big boys. Guess he's a fraud.

Tim Duncan will never actually retire; he will just keep showing up to the gym through inertia

There's a chance that Tim Duncan just forgets to retire and just by like... through inertia, he keeps showing up at the gym. I think that's more likely than him actually retiring. The last thing I would ever expect is for Duncan to do like an announcement before the season and then play the rest of the season. No way. Duncan just wants to sit at home when he's not playing basketball and not be bothered by anybody.

The Cavaliers could beat the Warriors in the Finals

The entire season has been about the Warriors and then a little bit about the Spurs. The Cavs, they can do like the whole nobody believes in us shit, which is unreal with a guy like LeBron on your team. And I don't know, man. I wouldn't be shocked if they beat the Warriors. I really wouldn't.

Chris Bosh is a first-ballot Hall of Famer because the Basketball Hall of Fame lets everyone in

The Basketball Hall of Fame lets in basically anyone who played basketball for more than 10 years. So Bosh is a first ballot then. There's really no rhyme or reason... 50% of the basketball world is a Hall of Famer.

The Bulls will give the Celtics a really good series in the playoffs

I think the Bulls are going to give the Celtics a really good series.

Everyone in the NBA is tradable

I played this game. Everybody's tradable. It's not like – You know, some guys, you know, when you're a broadcaster, you never played. I played in the NBA. I've been traded. So it happens. It's a business.

Yale vs Duke Under is my lock of the century

That's my lock of the century. Put the money in the bank right now. It's done... if you start a good place to start is by betting the under on two teams that you hate. [Yale vs Duke]