Takes

The Popeyes spicy chicken sandwich is one of the best sandwiches ever

Unpopular opinion that Popeye's chicken sandwich is good. I'll die on that hill. No, it's really good. And I need to have another one.

Melted cheese is the ultimate cheese hack for any food

Any type of cheese, if you melt it on top of something, makes it instantly better. I will go with melted. Just melted.

Nacho cheese is better the more unrealistic and neon it looks

I'm going to go with nacho cheese... I love it the more unrealistic the cheese is. Like the more yellow, the like neon yellow color you get with stadium nachos. Love that shit... like the radioactive goo.

Goat cheese is 'chick cheese' and not for guys

Goat cheese? Are you kidding me? That's chick cheese, bro. I disagree. That's a big time chick cheese.

Restaurants should replace gumball machines with 'Tumball' machines filled with Tums

An idea that's just, instead of a gumball machine, just out in restaurants, have it just be filled with Tums... I would take one every single time, even if I didn't have heartburn, just like knowing you might get it later... Call it a Tumball machine.

Junior Mints are S-tier because of their scarcity

The one thing I like about Junior Mints, I don't think you can get it everywhere... you go into even a liquor store, you can get a Snickers bar... it's just too easy to get. I like the fact you got to work a little for your Junior Mints.

Licorice is the best jelly bean to give to someone you hate

What are the best flavors of jelly beans to give to someone you hate? Oh, definitely licorice. Yep. You can have them all.

Poutine is not the national food of Canada

Poutine is not the national food of Canada. I have never had poutine before. Now suddenly everybody's Mr. Poutine. This is poutine. This side and the other thing.

St. Louis pizza is just a saltine cracker with ketchup and American cheese

I learned something new about the St. Louis culinary tradition every year, whether it's their pizza, which my understanding is like saltine cracker with ketchup, and then like a lunchable cheddar... American cheese.

Tiramisu is an overrated dessert

The dessert is weird. It's tiramisu. Tiramisu is overrated, by the way.

I am canceling Orange Vanilla Coke and will never drink it because of the excessive advertising

Orange Vanilla Coke I saw seven million times, and I hate it. I will never drink an orange vanilla Coke. I am canceling orange vanilla Coke.

Prime 47 is a better steakhouse than St. Elmo's in Indianapolis

Prime 47 versus St. Elmo's. I have Prime 47. I thought St. Elmo's is you go for the shrimp cocktail, but after that, the menu doesn't have a lot to offer.

Ketchup tastes better when it is refrigerated

I think ketchup tastes better when it's refrigerated. Yeah, but you don't need to [refrigerate it]. That's kind of one of those weird things.

Clemson being served fast food at the White House is awesome.

I just saw the plates full of Big Macs and Wendy's and pizza. I was like, this is fucking awesome. It looked like essentially being back in college and getting super high and being like, let's just order all the fast food. I'm fully in favor of this move.

A cold Filet-O-Fish is one of the most unappetizing things on Earth.

I can't think of too many things less appetizing than like a cold filet of fish. Yeah, excuse me, McFish. Don't put the filet of fish out there. That's a big time mistake.

Always buy an extra small fry to eat in the car so you don't dip into your large fry.

Pro tip for everyone out there... if you go to McDonald's, if you go to a drive-thru, the key is to get a large fry and then get a medium or small fry for just the car. Because you don't want to dip into your large fry when you get home.

Candy corn is absolutely delicious and should be a year-round candy

Candy corn is absolutely delicious. I think it should be a year-round candy, and I can't wait to eat it for the next month.

Animal crackers are cookies, not crackers

I think they're cookies. They're sweet. They're not savory, they're sweet... they're the worst cookie but the best cracker.

The Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich is the 'Granddaddy of them all' for chicken sandwiches

I'm going to go with a spicy chicken sandwich at Wendy's. I actually had this listed before Chick-fil-A on my big board. So it's a good value pick for me. I think it's kind of the granddaddy of them all as far as chicken sandwiches go.

McDonald's fries are the best fast food item

And then for my last pick, McDonald's fries. Can't believe I got that one in the fourth round. I know. I know.

The Whataburger Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit is the best breakfast sandwich in America

Big time honorable mention to Whataburger Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit. Yes. Best breakfast sandwich in America. People forget Whataburger, not the best thing on the menu, is not burgers. It's the Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit. And it is incredible.

Rosé cider is delicious despite being a 'chick drink'

Rosé cider. Kind of a chick drink, but it's just so delicious. I could drink it any day. Sometimes the ones in the can have a lot of sugar, though, so I try and go out of my way to find one with low sugar.

Riptide Rush is the only good Gatorade flavor

I'll go Mint Chocolate Chip and Riptide Rush... [Riptide Rush is] the only good one. No, it's the white one.

Cracker Jacks are the coleslaw of candy

Cracker Jacks are the coleslaw of candy. They're good for like a handful. Yeah, and nobody really likes it. It's more about the visual of walking around with a thing of Cracker Jacks.

I have eaten more bologna than anyone else in the world

I really believe that, at least at my age. I can say that for sure. No one can beat me in the bologna [eating competition].

Bologna is the ultimate comfort food and survival food

Whenever I want to feel good, I eat bologna. If someone said, what's the one food you're bringing in that bunker? Simple: Bologna. Because it can turn into so many other meals... I fry it... Once I fry it, I kill all that bacteria and I still got a great meal.

Mint chocolate chip is the best ice cream flavor

My number one flavor... It's mint chocolate chip. Best ice cream flavor there is. Number one pick.

Phish Food is the best Ben & Jerry's flavor

I would die on this hill: Fish Food. It's got the marshmallow. And you know what I like? The crunch element is the chocolate-covered caramel fish.

Zing Zang is the superior Bloody Mary mix compared to handmade versions

I've discovered that the best mix by far for Bloody Mary is Zing Zang mix. There are a lot of places that tout their Bloody Marys as being handmade, and I always say, no, I'm not going to deal with that. I want Zing Zang.

Skyline Chili is terrible and only worth eating for the laughs

If I never stepped foot into Skyline Chili again, that would be fantastic. But then whenever we're in the Ohio area, PFT's like, it would be funny if we went to a Skyline. ... [We] sit there silently trying one bite and being like, nope, still terrible.

Chili is not a soup

Is chowder a soup? Is chili a soup? Chili's not a soup. Chili is a chili. You eat it with a spoon, it's soupy. No, but you don't call clam chowder soup. Just trust me. Chili's not a soup. If I say that chili's a soup, do you know how many chili fans there are on the internet? They're the fucking worst.

There should be a 'Paperboy' style app where food trucks throw pre-made burgers out the window to drunk people

So my drunk idea is... You guys remember that video game Paperboy?... it's a slow creeping car that just drives up and down busy like bar streets... you hit the button and you order like a burger. They just roll down the window and toss it. They have pre-made burgers, pre-made hot dogs, pre-made pizzas, and they just throw it out the window.

High-end restaurants are doing it wrong by not having pictures of the food on the menu

What would you guys say is the one thing that tells you a restaurant is classy?... It is pictures on the menu, so you know what the food looks like. So I went to a really classy dinner last Friday, and they didn't have pictures on the menu... they need to have a picture option. So it's like a Denny's or an IHOP, but you're eating at a Michelin-rated restaurant.

The Pringles and Italian sandwich munchies are elite-tier

My number one would probably be steak and cheese... I'm going to go Pringles... I'm going to go with... frozen yogurt. That whole like when you go to the frozen yogurt bar and you get everything. It's actually not so much. It's just candy.

Dry, crisp cookies are better than soft, soggy cookies

I'd rather dry with a crisp than soft, like a wet, soft, soggy cookie in my mouth.

Macaroni and cheese is always an acceptable Thanksgiving side dish

By the way, the answer is yes, macaroni and cheese is always an acceptable side dish.

Stuffing is the greatest thing in the world

I'm going stuffing. I fucking love stuffing. Stuffing is the greatest thing in the world. Why don't we eat stuffing every day? Make the turkey out of the stuffing. It's so good.

Freezing Reese's Peanut Butter Cups is the best way to eat them

Reese's, put them in the freezer, kids. That's the next level stuff. Everyone knows that.

Whataburger's actual burgers are trash

Whataburger is trash... Whenever you talk about a burger joint, you're talking about the burger. You can't say you've got to try Whataburger, but the chicken's really good. I know this great rib joint, but you've got to try the salmon.

A solo hungover Chinese food order must be at least $75

If you order Chinese food by yourself, by the way, when you're hungover and you are under $75, you're doing it wrong. Because what you need to do when you're hungover and you're ordering Chinese food is you order every single thing that you might just want a little taste of.

Ice cream is the most efficient way to cool your core down during a hangover

I'm going to go with just ice cream because it's so easy. You don't have to worry about chewing it... it cools your core down when you get that hangover where you're dehydrated and you have that lava core. You're sitting on your couch sweating, but if you have the ice cream, it cools you down more efficiently than anything else could.

Oatmeal raisin is the number one cookie of all time

Number one of all cookies ever is oatmeal raisin cookies. I love the texture of oatmeal and cookies. I think it adds something to the texture that I like.

Oatmeal raisin is a trash-ass cookie

Because that's a trash-ass cookie. That's a trash ass cookie. Oatmeal raisin is not a Mount Rushmore cookies cookie.

Honey Nut Cheerios are the greatest cereal of all time

I've got a great value pick at number two: Honey Nut Cheerios. I think they're the goat. I'm just gonna say that... you forget the bee puts his honey in there for you.

Apple Jacks milk is the best leftover cereal milk on the list

Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Apple Jacks are both not only good cereals, but the milk in the cereal bowl after the cereal's gone is better than any other cereal on the list.

Zing Zang is the only acceptable Bloody Mary mix

The things I hate the most about bars, number one, when they make their own Bloody Mary mix instead of using Zing Zang. Because Zing Zang... It's the perfected Bloody Mary mix. There's no topping it. It's perfect all around.

Kansas City has the best barbecue in the country

Kansas City, best barbecue in the country? I think so.

Buffalo Wild Wings is making a comeback with larger wings

Their wings got bad there for a little while. They're coming back, though. The wings are good. They got bigger wings.

The Pimento Cheese sandwich at Augusta is overrated

I'm on record as saying it's not my thing. I tried it because it's like, hey, when in Rome, but when I... I'm a consistency person, and if I don't like the consistency then I'm just not going to be able to get with it, and pimento and cheese just doesn't work for me.

Pimento cheese sandwiches at the Masters are probably overrated

I know what a pimento cheese sandwich is, but I'm guessing that it's not as unbelievable as everyone's making it off to be.