Takes

Puka Nacua's lawyer is the worst in America for admitting the bite occurred

Puka has hired an attorney who dismissed the conduct as horseplay, but admitted that the bite occurred. It left a temporary mark. So this is not a good lawyer. My problem is, is Puka Nacua has hired the worst lawyer in America to defend him against the biting allegations. Your lawyer should never step in front of a camera and say, 'yes, he did the shit.'

The UFL's three-point conversion and no punting rules are too gimmicky

The UFL just unveiled their rules today. A little bit gimmicky. They're doing a four point field goal for long field goals. You're not allowed to punt inside the 50 yard line. And then they've got one, two, and three point conversions. I don't like the banning of punting inside the 50. Field goals are worth three points. We don't want more field goals.

I love Ben Johnson for saying 'Fuck the Packers'

He was asked on Monday about his 'fuck the Packers' comments and everyone freaking out about it and he did not apologize. And I absolutely love it. ... I want Ben Johnson to be the outsider who like is like, fuck all of you, I'm here to do a job.

Caleb Williams' throw to DJ Moore was better than 'The Catch'

Caleb's Throw was better than Joe Montana's. He threw it from the 30. Joe Montana threw it from the 18. ... I liked it so much. I thought it was the catch. I sent it to Chris Berman. ... maybe a better throw and maybe a better catch.

Jamis Winston is the 'new Slash' because he is an elite athlete at multiple metrics.

Rob, my hot seat is Cordell Stewart, Denard Robinson. All these offensive weapons... because there's new sheriff in town who, Jamis. Yeah. Jamis... He is first in the NFL for yards per route run. He is third in the NFL for his percentage of carries going for 10 plus yards... he's the new slash.

The NFL is rigged to favor the Chiefs

The NFL is rigged. There was a study, UTEP did a study. It's statistically proven that the Chiefs... have gotten way more favorable calls in that timeframe. And they did the research that that did not happen with other dynasties in the past.

Jalen Hurts catching his own Hail Mary rebound would be the coolest play in sports history

The wide angle of the Hail Mary came out and Jalen Hurts tried to get his own rebound. ... I'll say this right now, if that ever happens, that will be the coolest play in all of sports. ... That was sports history. If there, the fact that he got as far down as he did was... if there was a, if there was two bobs, he would've been there.

Mike McDaniel's comments about being closer to death signal bad vibes for the Dolphins

Mike McDaniel's in a press conference yesterday said that today's a great day because we're one day closer to death... Do you think things are going well with the Miami Dolphins right now? Bad vibes.

The idea of the Ravens and Commanders sharing a stadium in Maryland is one of the dumbest ideas ever

Stephen A. Smith's idea was to build one stadium in Maryland and then have the Ravens and the commanders share it, which is maybe the dumbest thing that Stephen A. Smith has ever said... just maybe the dumbest idea ever.

High school football players should be paid

We've been complaining to the NCAA you gotta pay the players. We might have to just switch up to high school football now. You gotta pay the players. Pay these guys. Pay the high school players... babies should get paid.

The Buccaneers' 1976 throwback uniforms are top-tier and should move them up the jersey rankings

Inside this box is an early look at the modern nod to the original 1976 jersey... That thing is awesome. Those are crispy. No, those are crispy. They look great. I mean, that's hot. I know you guys were ranking jerseys the other day, I mean this has to get—we gotta go up the ladder.

Deshaun Watson mentoring Shedeur Sanders is like an old person getting a pet

Lucky for Shedeur Sanders, he found a mentor in Cleveland that's taking him quote under his wing. It is Deshaun Watson. Deshaun Watson has stepped up to show the young guy the ropes... I think this is maybe a situation like who saved who, like an old person getting a pet?

Joe Burrow's bad baseball throw was a paid viral moment

My spin zone is that Michael Rubin just paid off every single person that had anything to do with Fanatics Fest and... Joe Burrow, you're gonna throw a baseball poorly. I actually think that he probably bought viral moments. I actually think that he probably bought viral moments... It's titled Joe Burrow throws a baseball poorly and here's the offer sheet.

A touchdown scored by a 40-year-old player should count for an extra point

There should be a rule in like all sports if you like a a 40-year-old touchdown counts for an extra point. It's like, how are you still doing it?

NFL players are arrogant to think they can easily dominate international flag football competition

It's so arrogant for NFL players to think that they can just go in and dominate [flag] football. ... I'm just imagining like a, a Croatian dude trying to grab the flag of Lamar Jackson. ... he would never be down.

The NFL has ruined the schedule release by leaking too many individual games

I'm so sick of this fucking schedule release week. It sucks. It fucking sucks. Give me the whole schedule. Stop giving me a piece of a game here and there... They've completely ruined something that was kind of fun. And now it's just become, 'cause now I'm piecing it all together... Just gimme the whole schedule. They've completely ruined something that was kind of fun.

Caleb Williams being seen with supermodels makes him a QB1 over Jaden Daniels

Caleb Williams was in Miami and he got out of a car at a restaurant with three different like supermodels. Hell yeah. That's that's that's a QB one you want. Yeah. That's QB one actually. That's Aura. Not a helicopter mom. 24-year-old.

Jim Harbaugh is the perfect ambassador to convince 'football guys' to embrace analytics because he treats math as an objective truth.

Analytics because our friend Jim Harbaugh said on analytics, math tells the truth. Yeah. If Jim Harbaugh's big on analytics, like you can't, he's our shining beacon when it comes to football guy who also adopts analytics.

Aaron Rodgers is repeating the Brett Favre path exactly

Aaron Rodgers... it is Cats in the Cradle with Brett Favre. He's just learning everything from [him] and he hated Brett Favre for it too. It's perfect.

Travis Hunter playing both ways is more impressive than Shohei Ohtani pitching and hitting

Travis Hunter at the combine said that him playing offense defense, it's harder than Shohei playing offense defense... Being a professional cornerback and a professional wide receiver at the same time playing in the same game... I think there's a better chance of another Shohei coming around than another Travis Hunter.

The Matthew Judon trade is a loss for the Bears because he chose the Falcons over them

The Patriots gave Matthew Judon the option of which team he wanted to go to. And he chose the Falcons. New England believing the Bears and Falcons were in similar category... Judon obviously picked Atlanta.

Brian Flores is a 'terrible person' for how he treated Tua Tagovailoa

[Tua] went on Le Batard show and basically said that Brian Flores was doing mental torture on him. And he said, if you woke up every morning and I told you that you suck at what you did... Brian Flores actually came out and said like, 'I've evolved and yeah, I kind of fucked that up.' [PFT says Tua said he was a terrible person]... It sounds like Tua is to Brian Flores as Big Cat is to the chat.

Dak Prescott is only wearing a walking boot as a precaution to avoid getting into vacation fights

Maybe Dak Prescott is wearing the walking boot because in the past he has gone on vacations and got his ass beat. So if he puts on the walking boot, it's kind of a like, 'Hey, I'm not here to fight guy.' You're not gonna hit a guy who's handicapped... it's a precautionary 'don't want to get my ass beat like I did on spring break'.

Caleb Williams has too much aura

You can't say that Caleb Williams doesn't have aura. He has so much. If anything, he's got too much aura.

Caleb Williams lost all his swag the minute he put on a Bears uniform

The minute Caleb Williams put on the Bears uniform and they had him running around as a quarterback, he lost all his swag. He's gotta figure out how to overcome the Bears quarterback uniform. People were tweeting about it like 'this guy's got no swag anymore.' I kind of agree.

The NFL's electronic first down measurement system is bad for the sport because it removes human anticipation

This is bad. And here's why. The chain and the stick is awesome. It gives you another play. It's a free play that you get... the anticipation. That's another stop of them running out... That's what we love about football is the weird shit. If we were starting football from scratch right now, there's no chance in hell there would be three old guys with sticks.

The Broncos released bad jerseys to distract fans from the Zach Wilson trade

They actually are really smart with what they did because they released Bad Jerseys and then they traded for Zach Wilson all on the same day. And you don't know which one to be mad at. They just split the vote. Like that was so smart of them to do those in basically a matter of hours with each other where they're like, which one you want to choose?

Caleb Williams having a pink phone and pink nails is cool and masculine

Speaking of Caleb Williams, he's got a cool pink phone... He was at the USC game last night. He has a pink phone. Got people really upset. I say maybe think differently. He's so advanced. He knows that pink phones are cool.

MetLife Stadium is cursed

My Hot Seat is MetLife Stadium. It was recently announced that the very cursed stadium in the NFL world will be hosting the 2026 World Cup final... however, I believe they're switching it to grass. Correct? They are. But it's still cursed.

Panthers HC Dave Canales made a mistake writing a book about his infidelity and porn addiction

This is kind of a lesson in like, maybe don't ever get that big job. 'cause then people will start looking at your life. Dave Canales co-wrote a book with his wife about marriage... Canales admits to having had multiple affairs earlier in his life... also described in the book the addictions he once had to both pornography and alcohol. It sounds like his wife made him write a book. If you're co-authoring a book with your wife talking about your porn addiction, it's like a self-flagellation.

You must always defer the coin toss if you win it

Why would you not defer, why would you not get the ball back to, to start the second half? I just assumed that was like a, a cardinal fundamental rule. And then when you look at the stats... I think you should just defer every time.

The Gillette Stadium lighthouse is real as a symbol and a beacon of hope

Technically by definition, some would say that this lighthouse is not real. But there's some that would say that it is real... Just because PFT says this lighthouse isn't real, it doesn't mean you can't, it doesn't have to be real to you and as a region... Patriots fans, new Englanders, they'll recognize this lighthouse as a real thing, as a beacon of hope and as a symbol of our team.

The Chargers' social media account being too funny is hurting the team's culture

I think that the Chargers Twitter account is, is too funny. And and it's resulted in actual on the field losses for you. Yeah. Be serious. This is culture matters. ... If you're asking guys, Hey, is water wet when they come off the field, they're probably, that's gonna break their brains. ... I actually, I'm starting to think that Chargers truther, he might be true. It affects team culture.

Philip Rivers would have won the Super Bowl if he started for the 49ers last season

Kyle Shanahan's plan that he had in place. If the 49ers had made the Super Bowl and Brock Purdy was injured, Philip Rivers was going to start the Super Bowl. ... He probably would've won. ... It would've been the very best thing to ever happen to the NFL. ... We would've had to go to the Super Bowl and root for the Niners and wear Phil Rivers Niners jerseys.

If Philip Rivers had started the Super Bowl for the 49ers, he would have won because he is too slow to slip on the turf

Do you know why he would've won? Philip Rivers doesn't move fast enough to have the graspy slippery be a problem. That's very true. He would've won. ... It would not have been an issue. He's so slow.

The Tuohys only brought Michael Oher into their family because of his football talent

This has always kind of been the logical explanation of what happened. Like they didn't bring this kid into their home because he was homeless and they wanted to be great people. They brought 'em into their home because they're like, 'oh shit, this guy's awesome at football. And we're the biggest Ole Miss fans in the world. So we might as well adopt him. And then just funnel 'em down to Oxford.'

I am officially coming out of the closet as a Kirk Cousins fan

I'm coming out of the closet as a Kirk Cousins fan. I've buried it so deep that I overcompensated for loving Kirk Cousins by hating him so much these last few years. I love Kirk Cousins as a person. One of the greatest dudes, hard not to root for.

Jordan Love made a massive mistake by making a Father's Day video for Bears fans

My Hot Seat is Packers fans trying to get me to somehow admit that I was wrong about the Jordan Love video. ... Aaron Rodgers never would've done that. You gotta say no. ... As much as I hate Aaron Rodgers, he tortured me, he's fucking owned me... he respected the rivalry. He never gave an inch. Jordan Love you gave an inch. I'm gonna take that inch.

Every NFL team should claim they wanted a quarterback after the draft just in case they're good

If you're an NFL team and you can always just throw out there like, we wanted to take this guy on draft night, nobody will remember that if he ends up stinking in like three years. But in the chance that he is good, you can always point back and be like, we actually had him.

Eric Bieniemy must be the world's worst interviewer since he keeps getting passed over for head coaching jobs

At this point, I don't know what to think about Eric, but he must be the world's worst interviewer of all time. I, I don't know what's, what's been happening with him... there's gotta be some reason why he's been through this every single off season and he's never gotten the gig.

Tanking in professional sports objectively works.

Tanking works. It objectively works. If the Redskins had lost that Dolphins team, yeah. I would have Joe Burrow right now. That's just a fact.

The NFL should use the chip in the football to definitively judge goal line plays

According to the chip in the football, the closest the ball got to the end zone [on the Tyler Huntley play] was 0.6 yards from the goal line. What the fuck are we doing? We've been asking for the chip forever... the chip is there.

Safeties should be worth four points because they are so difficult to achieve

Safeties should be worth four [points] because the safeties are so hard to get. ... Two points is like a spitting in the face of the defense.

Big Ben is poorly suited to play for the 49ers compared to every other quarterback

I think that you could name a quarterback in the NFL right now and they're probably better suited for the 49ers than Big Ben. Yes. Doesn't matter who you are. Right. No, that doesn't mean I wouldn't watch it. No. If he played I'd watch every second.

Zach Wilson and Patrick Mahomes would have a competitive game of PIG/HORSE

On that take, I will say if you took Zach Wilson and Patrick Mahomes and made them compete in a horse or pig like game where they had to complete certain throws probably not covered. They'd probably have a competitive game.

Aaron Rodgers is blaming his teammates for the Packers' struggles

Guys who are making too many mistakes shouldn't be playing. Gotta start cutting some reps. So it's not his fault, it's his teammate's fault.

Being a field goal holder is an easy job that even freshmen can do

I've been a holder. Really? Yeah. When I was like third string quarterback. It's an easy job. If you're a decent, if you're like can catch like they put like freshman as holders.

Seattle is a bad sports town because they booed a quarterback who won them a Super Bowl.

My hot seat is Seattle. Just bad sports town. Booing, booing or Superbowl quarterback... one super bowl was plenty. That should be enough to be a legend in your town forever. And that's why they lost NBA team.

The best career move for a backup QB is to have one great game and then immediately get injured

When you're a backup quarterback in the NFL, the best thing you can do is have an awesome game and then immediately get injured and secure your like status as an NFL quarterback for 10 years.

The only mock drafts worth trusting are the ones released immediately after the actual draft ends.

These are really the only mock drafts that I truly trust are the ones that come out right after the actual draft, looking ahead to next year. I think they always get that exactly correct.