Takes

Charlie Woods cemented himself as the future of golf after his hole-in-one

Charlie Woods is back. He got a hole in one on the third hole at Sawgrass today... Charlie Woods is the future golf. I think he cemented that today.

Rory McIlroy is back and this could be his year to win the Masters

My Who's Back of the week is Rory McIlroy. He's smashing. He won the AT&T Pro-Am at Pebble Beach. This might be his year... he might turn it around.

LIV Golf should allow all steroids and make the tour totally rule-free

I was shocked to know that Liv had a steroid policy... You have no rules. You play golf with shorts. They should, if you're the Liv Tour, make everything legal. Have it be steroids, but golf. Tackling. Yes. And a football and pylons.

The winners of the John Deere Classic always stay in the same rental home in Illinois

For the last three years, each winner of the John Deere Classic has stayed in the same rental home in Illinois. Whoa. It's officially the trophy house. Davis Thompson, SEP Straka, JT Poston.

Bryson DeChambeau will win the U.S. Open as an homage to Payne Stewart

I think this is it for Bryson [DeChambeau]. If Bryson comes and wears, because remember he used to wear the scaly cap. Payne Stewart. I could see it happening. As a homage to Payne Stewart. I'll call my shot right now.

Tiger Woods definitely used HGH to come back from his injuries

Tiger If you ever wanna come on the podcast... did Tiger ever do do steroids? You think I Why doesn't it get talked about though? ... He definitely, it's just out of respect for him. Is it, is it deference? He definitely used it to come back from stuff for sure. ... I think he without a doubt a hundred percent used HGH to come back from injuries.

Rory McIlroy only wins the tournament immediately preceding a Major

Rory, I feel like he's the king of winning the championship right before Major. Then everyone talks about him. It's a major week. Rory's back. He's gonna win a major and then he like misses the cut. Rory fooling us about him being back.

The Waste Management Phoenix Open should remain a drunken chaos event

This is what the Waste Management is and I always had the feeling that golfers begrudgingly said, like, we love it... don't try to change it. I want more. I want guys getting stronger, stealing golf clubs and shit.

Max Homa will win a major championship this year

Max Homa is gonna win a major this year. I think this year. Hundred percent.

Charlie Woods is going to completely transform the game of golf

I think when all is said and done, Charlie Woods is gonna be the guy that completely transforms golf. Agreed. Yeah. He's gonna break the, break the mold.

Donald Trump is the best golfer in the United States

Rick Re says that it wasn't actually 67. I don't be a hater, Rick. He says it was more like an 86... [Trump] is the best golfer in the United States.

Jordan Spieth is wearing a cheap $500 Instagram ad suit that hides 'fat and frumpy' bodies

Jordan Spieth has a lot, a lot of money. But I think I have that same suit and I understand what happened. ... I think he's wearing a $500 Instagram suit. ... It's a stretchy material that doesn't iron well. And so it's like, it's like a, it's like almost like a, it's like an Under Armour shirt in a suit form.

The 'pervert' chant at Max Homa is officially canceled and banned

We have to stop saying to Max Homa on the golf course that he's a pervert because it's getting a little weird... permission to shame that person, take a picture and send it to us... no more pervert. That is officially canceled.

Brooks Koepka is the hottest golfer in the world heading into the Masters

My, who's back of the week is Brook's Koepka. Yes. Brooks. Shout out Brooks. He won. He's hot. He's the hottest golfer in the world going into masters week. He's back. He won on the live tour. He battled off Patrick Reed to finish first place in Orlando.

LIV Golf should execute the last place team every week to fix their ratings

I have a very simple way to solve this ratings issue. Execute the last place team every week... The ultimate relegation. Yeah. To the afterlife... Or they don't have cuts but they could chop your head off.

LIV Golf will never be a team sport because golf is inherently individual

My four-year-old son Chris walked in the other day and he was like, dad, can we watch the ACEs? He's a Big ACEs player. I don't know why they thought like, golf is not a team sport. No. It's never gonna be a team sport. Ryder Cup is countries, America. People are watching for America on that one.

I will bet on Will Zalatoris in every golf major until he finally wins one

Will Zalatoris on the leaderboard. I was like, God fucking damnit. This is the year for sure. This is, I will bet him in every major until he wins a major. That is a guarantee.

Charlie Woods will have more natural ability and be better than Tiger Woods

I love Charlie Woods. I think Charlie's gonna be better than Tiger. I think that even Tiger would admit, Charlie's got more natural ability than Tiger ever had in his life.

Max Homa must be on the Ryder Cup team

If max isn't on the Ryder Cup team... we riot. It's a travesty of justice... He went four and oh in his matches, he had an electric walk in putt on the 18th green on Friday to win his match and the USA dominated and won the Presidents Cup.

Danny Woodhead is better at golf than Tony Romo

My guy Danny Woodhead... He is very close to qualifying for the U.S. Open in golf. ... He's better than Tony Romo at golf.

The Masters at Augusta National is tarnished by letting Dude Perfect and Bryson DeChambeau film content there

The course at Augusta National Georgia... tough look over the weekend. Bryson DeChambeau and Dude Perfect got together... and they went to Augusta's Amen Corner... I actually am on the side of golf hardos that like, if you say that exclusivity is your thing and it's sacred, you can't have this.

The Waste Management Open is the best sporting event crowd scene in the world

Waste management opening was this weekend. One of the best, I think sporting event, crowd scenes, that I've never been to that looks so, so, so much fun... you know, I went to showers, beers, throw beers, have to delay and clean them all up. It looks unbelievable.

Tiger Woods is back

I was backs tiger woods. And so on. The golf club is deep. People went crazy... He swung a golf club. I've won one crazy.

The USA is back because they 'skull fucked' Europe in the Ryder Cup

The USA, United States of America. We are back thanks to the Ryder cup team. Absolutely skull fucked Europe, 19 to nine biggest wins since 1975.

Jordan Spieth is now a likable underdog because he has been so bad

Everyone likes Jordan Spieth because he's been so bad and such a head case for so long that he gets the pity... now he's an underdog despite the fact that he's won millions and millions of dollars playing golf.

Brooks Koepka will dominate The Masters

My who's back is Brooks Koepka. Yeah Brooks Koepka is back. It's a major. He's gonna dominate I'm certain of it... Masters are here. He's locked in and for the first time in a long time, it looks like he has an actual rival.

Bryson DeChambeau worries too much about angles and should just play golf

He does like the compass and the he does like all the math behind his shots. Just go out and shoot the ball, dude, maybe if you stop thinking about it, you'd be like Brooks [Koepka] and wind shit... You worry too much about angles buddy.

Tiger Woods will win the Masters this year

Tiger will win the Masters this year. [If he doesn't] I'll get Hank two years of tuna fish for his cat.

Tiger Woods is all the way back

Tiger Woods is all the way back. He won the Tour Championship... Tiger Woods still was able to break through to anyone who's even watching football who doesn't even care about golf.

Sergio Garcia will choke in the big moments of The Masters

Sergio, I think this ship has sailed for him. He chokes every time he's in a big moment. It's Tiger. You know, it's a mental thing at this point. The second he hears Tiger sneaking up on him... he's going to melt down.

Justin Thomas is a 'pussy' for having a heckler kicked out

Your day's done. Had him kicked out. Had him kicked out. What a fucking dick. Which just means that hecklers are inside Justin Thomas' head, even though he won... What a little pussy that guy is.

Tiger Woods getting a 'bad boy' warning from Trump is good for his street cred

Tiger Woods' bad boy status, when other men are saying, watch out for him, it's like Costanza putting on the Yankees jacket. It's like, you got to watch out... getting this back into circulation is good for his street cred. It's great.

Tiger Woods will win at least one more Masters

We're now getting the Tiger Woods is going to win at least one more Masters takes. So I think that that means Tiger is like all the way back. When people are actually debating how many more Masters or, you know, championships you're going to win, I think that's exactly where Tiger is back.

Tiger Woods' DUI arrest gives him street cred

I didn't think that Tiger Woods could have any more street cred, but he certainly does now. Now he's got it all.

John Daly's career has been awesome and if you think otherwise you're a hater

My favorite take is when people say, oh, what a shame, John Daly's career. He really could have had it all. John Daly has had it all. His career actually has been awesome. If you think otherwise, then you're just a hater.

Tiger Woods missing the cut is actually good because he can't get injured during the final two rounds

Other spin zone, he only played two rounds because he missed the cut. So that's two less rounds you could injure himself in. Less wear and tear. Smart move getting ready for the Masters. Way to save yourself.

The Masters' theme music is the instant cure for insomnia

It's also just good for dads out there to have, instead of having to rely on Ambien or something to go to sleep, if a dad turns on the Masters music, he's going to fall asleep within five minutes. Best nap of the year. Instant cure for insomniacs.