Takes

Ludvig Åberg is a choker who can't win on Sundays under pressure

Ludvig Åberg. Can't win the big one. Yeah. Big time. Can't win the big one. Another choke. Choke to the masters... He stinks on Sundays. I don't know what it is about him... just when he gets under pressure he just melts down.

I'm never betting on Ludvig Åberg again after his Masters choke

I put him on my list of guys I will never bet again after he choked in the Masters and then I forgot about putting him on the list. Bet him again this week. And yeah, it was, it was a nightmare choke job.

John Rahm's win in Hong Kong wasn't a coincidence after rumors he was unhappy

John Rahm won the individual event. First time winning on Liv. It's huge. Huge for him. Definitely not a coincidence. No, he did not say he chose to stay on Liv, but he won. It sounds like they're keeping him happy.

Phil Mickelson will win a LIV Golf event this year

Phil's gonna win one this year. Phil's gonna win one this year. They're getting him ready to... if you just say you want leave, they'll just give you a win.

Charlie Woods cemented himself as the future of golf after his hole-in-one

Charlie Woods is back. He got a hole in one on the third hole at Sawgrass today... Charlie Woods is the future golf. I think he cemented that today.

Brooks Koepka is my pick to win the Masters this year

I gotta pick for you guys... I'm thinking Brooks [Koepka]. I like that he's won there before. I bet Brooks every single year. I'm a loyal guy.

Rory McIlroy is officially back and this will be the year he finally turns it around to win the Masters

My Who's Back of the week is Rory McIlroy. He's smashing. He won the AT&T Pro-Am at Pebble Beach. This might be his year... he might turn it around. [Golf doesn't start until the Masters] This might be his year to win it.

Bernard Langer is a 'hustler' for using the senior tees to win the PNC Championship

This guy's a hustler, but yeah. Charlie Woods sick hole one. He gets an initial like 120 yards on every drive. I'd have too much pride to do that. I wouldn't hit from those tees.

LIV Golf should allow all steroids and make the tour totally rule-free

I was shocked to know that Liv had a steroid policy... You have no rules. You play golf with shorts. They should, if you're the Liv Tour, make everything legal. Have it be steroids, but golf. Tackling. Yes. And a football and pylons.

The winners of the John Deere Classic always stay in the same rental home in Illinois

For the last three years, each winner of the John Deere Classic has stayed in the same rental home in Illinois. Whoa. It's officially the trophy house. Davis Thompson, SEP Straka, JT Poston.

Bryson DeChambeau will win the U.S. Open as an homage to Payne Stewart

I think this is it for Bryson [DeChambeau]. If Bryson comes and wears, because remember he used to wear the scaly cap. Payne Stewart. I could see it happening. As a homage to Payne Stewart. I'll call my shot right now.

Replacement caddy is the easiest job in professional sports

I feel like a replacement caddy is the easiest job in sports... You need a guy that's just gonna do the job and this guy... That's a man that can do the job.

Tiger Woods definitely used HGH to come back from his injuries

He definitely, I think he without a doubt a hundred percent used HGH to come back from injuries. I like this. Maybe this is the summer of getting all of our goats... They all use steroids. That's fine.

Rory McIlroy only wins the tournament immediately preceding a Major and then usually misses the cut

Rory, I feel like he's the king of winning the championship right before Major. Then everyone talks about him. It's a major week. Rory's back. He's go...

The Waste Management Phoenix Open should remain a drunken chaos event

This is what the Waste Management is and I always had the feeling that golfers begrudgingly said, like, we love it... don't try to change it. I want more. I want guys getting stronger, stealing golf clubs and shit.

Max Homa will win a major championship in 2024

Max Homa is gonna win a major this year. I think this year. Hundred percent.

Charlie Woods is going to completely transform the game of golf

I think when all is said and done, Charlie Woods is gonna be the guy that completely transforms golf. Agreed. Yeah. He's gonna break the, break the mold.

Rory McIlroy acted like a bitch at the Ryder Cup and I personally do not like him

Rory's a bitch. He acted like a bitch. I don't like Rory. He's, I know that everyone fucking loves him. I don't like him. I'm sorry. I don't like Rory. ... I personally do not like him.

Donald Trump is the best golfer in the United States

Rick Re says that it wasn't actually 67. I don't be a hater, Rick. He says it was more like an 86... [Trump] is the best golfer in the United States.

Jordan Spieth is wearing a cheap $500 Instagram ad suit that hides 'fat and frumpy' bodies

Jordan Spieth has a lot, a lot of money. But I think I have that same suit and I understand what happened. ... I think he's wearing a $500 Instagram suit. ... It's a stretchy material that doesn't iron well. And so it's like, it's like a, it's like almost like a, it's like an Under Armour shirt in a suit form.

The LIV Golf relegation system is just the PGA Tour and Q-School with a different name

LIV golf is tweaking their rule format that they have. They are now instituting relegation and promotion in LIV golf league... which is great... LIV Golf just invented the PGA Tour. So you're not like guaranteed a spot on LIV golf. They invented qualification school.

The 'pervert' chant at Max Homa is officially canceled and banned

We have to stop saying to Max Homa on the golf course that he's a pervert because it's getting a little weird... permission to shame that person, take a picture and send it to us... no more pervert. That is officially canceled.

Brooks Koepka is the hottest golfer in the world heading into the Masters

My, who's back of the week is Brook's Koepka. Yes. Brooks. Shout out Brooks. He won. He's hot. He's the hottest golfer in the world going into masters week. He's back. He won on the live tour. He battled off Patrick Reed to finish first place in Orlando.

LIV Golf should execute the last place team every week to fix their ratings

I have a very simple way to solve this ratings issue. Execute the last place team every week... The ultimate relegation. Yeah. To the afterlife... Or they don't have cuts but they could chop your head off.

Golf is not a team sport and it will never be one

I don't know why they thought like, golf is not a team sport. No. It's never gonna be a team sport. I'm my four-year-old son Chris walked in the other day and he was like, dad, can we watch the ACEs? He's a Big ACEs player. I don't know why they thought like, golf is not a team sport.

I will bet on Will Zalatoris in every golf major until he finally wins one

Will Zalatoris on the leaderboard. I was like, God fucking damnit. This is the year for sure. I will bet him in every major until he wins a major. That is a guarantee.

Charlie Woods has more natural ability and will be better than Tiger Woods

I love Charlie Woods. I think Charlie's gonna be better than Tiger. I think that even Tiger would admit, Charlie's got more natural ability than Tiger ever had in his life.

The PGA Tour should allow LIV tournament winners into all four majors

I think that the PGA tour should actually, they should have exemptions for any player that wins a LIV tour event to come back and play in every single major. Let them back in. Let hashtag let them play.

Max Homa must be on the Ryder Cup team

If max isn't on the Ryder Cup team... we riot. It's a travesty of justice... He went four and oh in his matches, he had an electric walk in putt on the 18th green on Friday to win his match and the USA dominated and won the Presidents Cup.

Max Homa is a top 10 or 20 favorite to win the 2022 U.S. Open

Max [Homa] is legitimately good. He's probably, he's gotta be like top 10, top 20 favorites to win the us open.

Danny Woodhead is better at golf than Tony Romo

My guy Danny Woodhead... He is very close to qualifying for the U.S. Open in golf. ... He's better than Tony Romo at golf.

The Masters at Augusta National is tarnished by letting Dude Perfect and Bryson DeChambeau film content there

The course at Augusta National Georgia... tough look over the weekend. Bryson DeChambeau and Dude Perfect got together... and they went to Augusta's Amen Corner... I actually am on the side of golf hardos that like, if you say that exclusivity is your thing and it's sacred, you can't have this.

The Waste Management Open is the best sporting event crowd scene in the world

Waste management opening was this weekend. One of the best, I think sporting event, crowd scenes, that I've never been to that looks so, so, so much fun... you know, I went to showers, beers, throw beers, have to delay and clean them all up. It looks unbelievable.

Tiger Woods is back

I was backs tiger woods. And so on. The golf club is deep. People went crazy... He swung a golf club. I've won one crazy.

The USA is back because they 'skull fucked' Europe in the Ryder Cup

The USA, United States of America. We are back thanks to the Ryder cup team. Absolutely skull fucked Europe, 19 to nine biggest wins since 1975.

The media treats Jordan Spieth's return to form like a miraculous medical recovery when he was actually just playing bad for a while.

Watching somebody overcome a situation that you've put them in... They acted like he was... He battled back from having a severe back injury or he was paralyzed and now he's learned to walk again and he can win... They were acting like it was a feel-good story like that, not just a guy that was good, then he was bad, now he's good again.

Jordan Spieth is now a likable underdog because he has been so bad

Everyone likes Jordan Spieth because he's been so bad and such a head case for so long that he gets the pity... now he's an underdog despite the fact that he's won millions and millions of dollars playing golf.

Brooks Koepka is officially back

Brooks Koepka. Bruxy is back. He went lights out today.

Brooks Koepka will dominate The Masters

My who's back is Brooks Koepka. Yeah Brooks Koepka is back. It's a major. He's gonna dominate I'm certain of it... Masters are here. He's locked in and for the first time in a long time, it looks like he has an actual rival.

The rivalry between Bryson DeChambeau and Brooks Koepka is great for the game of golf

For the first time in a long time, it looks like [Brooks] has an actual rival. It's good for golf. ... Having rivalry and pressure really brings all the best qualities out of Brooks that we know and love.

Bryson DeChambeau worries too much about angles and should just play golf

He does like the compass and the he does like all the math behind his shots. Just go out and shoot the ball, dude, maybe if you stop thinking about it, you'd be like Brooks [Koepka] and wind shit... You worry too much about angles buddy.

Tiger Woods will win the Masters this year

Tiger will win the Masters this year. [If he doesn't] I'll get Hank two years of tuna fish for his cat.

Tiger Woods is all the way back

Tiger Woods is all the way back. He won the Tour Championship... Tiger Woods still was able to break through to anyone who's even watching football who doesn't even care about golf.

Tiger Woods basically finished second in the U.S. Open if you don't count the first and second holes

If you had taken out the first and second hole, Tiger [Woods] would have finished second in the U.S. Open. So he's kind of back.

Patrick Reed hasn't taken off the Green Jacket since he won the Masters

He showed up in the green jacket at the Rockets game. He has not taken it off. Well, yes, you're right. He has not showered. He has not done laundry. That's pure Patrick Reed for you.

Sergio Garcia will choke in the big moments of The Masters

Sergio, I think this ship has sailed for him. He chokes every time he's in a big moment. It's Tiger. You know, it's a mental thing at this point. The second he hears Tiger sneaking up on him... he's going to melt down.

Justin Thomas is a 'pussy' for having a heckler kicked out

Your day's done. Had him kicked out. Had him kicked out. What a fucking dick. Which just means that hecklers are inside Justin Thomas' head, even though he won... What a little pussy that guy is.

Tiger Woods getting a 'bad boy' warning from Trump is good for his street cred

Tiger Woods' bad boy status, when other men are saying, watch out for him, it's like Costanza putting on the Yankees jacket. It's like, you got to watch out... getting this back into circulation is good for his street cred. It's great.

Tiger Woods will win at least one more Masters

We're now getting the Tiger Woods is going to win at least one more Masters takes. So I think that that means Tiger is like all the way back. When people are actually debating how many more Masters or, you know, championships you're going to win, I think that's exactly where Tiger is back.

Phil Mickelson is skipping the U.S. Open for his daughter's graduation to mock Tiger Woods' lack of a family life

Phil is saying he's not going to play in the U.S. Open because his daughter is giving the commencement speech at her high school graduation. ... Phil's like, oh, I'm not only healthy enough to play in tournaments, I'm just now saying I'm not going to play because I love my family so much. ... [He's] twisting the knife a little bit.