Takes

Colin Cowherd knows exactly who PMT is and is doing a bit by pretending not to

He is now going on seven years of the running gag of pretending he doesn't know who we are... he described me as a standup comedian, big guy, big physical presence. And I like, at this point I respect Cowherd for doing this because he is so committed to it... for him to pretend he doesn't know what the number one sports podcast is. I actually tip my cap. Like it's funny.

The Daily Show was the most dysfunctional place I have ever worked

The daily show was easily the most dysfunctional place I've worked because the network set it up the wrong way. They hired the executive producer first and then they didn't, they hired me second. And so it was very dysfunctional. I just ignored it and scored on the air and got out of there.

The Derek Jeter documentary will be boring because athletes produce their own content

Documentaries that are made by the people just suck... When you have you need to have a neutral third party director for these documentaries or as they're all like the same... Derek Jeter's going to do that thing where he's like you guys, I was famously private... now I'm going to, and it's just not going to be anything.

I've officially signed a new contract with Barstool and the show will go on

I signed a contract on Thursday. So I'm coming back. The show goes on, start all the haters who are crying and weeping. This is the place... I love doing this show. There's no more fun place to work. So I'm happy to be sticking around here.

Pardon My Take should do a 'Worst Of' episode featuring the most awkward interviews

We've tossed around the idea on this show... that we should do a worst of where it's like literally our worst interview. Narrate maybe around it... I'm going to guarantee that for the audience, we're going to do a worst thing.

Skip Bayless is the biggest Luka Doncic hater on the planet

My new favorite takeout there is how skip Bayless is now the biggest Luka hater on the planet, on the fucking planet. He's kind of, he's doing that exact same thing where he just like, he cherry picks the perfect stats to talk about Luka. He's like, he will not forget the games that the Mavericks lost in this series.

EA Sports FIFA is dead because of the rebranding to EA Sports FC

EA Sports and FIFA are dead. 2023. It's been rebranded as EA Sports FC.

John Sterling's botched home run calls are so bad he should consider retiring

Stanton hit a bomb, but not deep enough... 'high, far, gone, but caught' is what the call was. Hilarious. Like just a funny clip on the other end. Yankee fans... not exactly the clip you would put on a hypothetical resume. Right? Some people saying he needs to hang them up... His eyes are shot.

Elon Musk's involvement with Twitter will be good for trolls and memes

I think [Elon Musk] just going to make it easier for trolls online. I think he likes trolls. He likes memes. He likes trolls. I think this is good for us. Happy to see old Elon getting on board.

The NFL should put Carson Wentz in Washington just to watch PFT's soul leave his body

Carson Wentz. I, I think we should put them in Washington just to see PFT's soul leave his body.

Troy Aikman will leave Fox to join ESPN's Monday Night Football

ESPN will be Chris Fowler and Troy Aikman.

The halftime show was specifically designed for people aged 30 to 45

They basically were like, let's do a halftime show where anyone between the age of like 30 and 45 is going to be like, this is the greatest halftime show ever. And it, it worked. Cause I was like, they played every hit from like every portion of our lives.

Deliberately scheduling a 'congratulations' tweet for the losing team is a genius move for social media engagement

That is a genius plan to get people talking about [us]... every account should do that... schedule a tweet for 12 hours later and be like 'Congratulations to the [losing team]'... and everyone be like 'Oh, when scheduling tweets goes wrong.' And then sweet interactions.

I am going to partially ditch wearing my sunglasses on camera

I told him something that I've been thinking about for a while here, which is the sunglasses at, at some point can be a big hindrance to me... So I'm trying to think of ways to partially lose the glasses. And I'm also thinking that people are going to be pissed when they see my eyes, at least for a little bit. Not because they're like free guys. I think I'm a pretty normal looking guy.

A Manning will be on every American television screen for the next 40 years

Eli and [Peyton] are doing that thing on ESPN, the simulcast for Monday Night Football. I also think Cooper is going to get involved at some point. You're not going to be able to turn on a television in America and not have a Manning staring at you.

Trying to cancel Joe Rogan only promotes his show

It is the dumbest thing ever that they try to cancel Joe Rogan every other month. And then a bunch of people just tweet out Joe Rogan clips that probably just make new Joe Rogan fans. They're just doing his promotion for him.

I am officially opting out of all Simone Biles discourse

I'm opting out of all discussion about Simone Biles simply because there's like, it's one of those discussions where it is either all the way on this side or all the way on that side and there's literally no nuance or actual discussion being had. As soon as you see it happen and people start screaming at each other, no one's actually having a conversation. So I've opted out of all Simone Biles discussion because no one is actually trying to change each other's minds.

The growth of legalized sports gambling is the best thing that will happen to sports broadcasting

I actually think that the growth of gambling and accessibility is going to be the best thing that happens to our business because nothing's going to be meaningless. There is no meaningless. It doesn't matter what the score is. It also doesn't matter what the game is. It matters what the handle is, where the juice is, where the action is.

Jay Williams' 'hacked' excuse is an all-time idiot move

Jay Williams, all time idiot, like dumb tweet. And then on top of all that, he deletes it and waits like three hours and says... I did not post that. And my passcode has now been changed. So just like every hacker usually sets up, they spend years at hacking school so that they can one day tweet from Jay Williams' account that the Celtics hired the first black head coach.

Lacrosse should use the term 'power play' rather than 'man-up'

People keep coming at me being like, hey, dude, it's man-up. It's like, dude, they say power play. It's a fucking power play... because what you have then on the women's game is they're saying woman up. And it's become a gender thing... Nope. It's a power play. They're on the power.

I am retiring from professional lacrosse very soon

how long how much longer are you gonna play for real? Not much longer. Really? Yeah. I'm 35... I get checked now, and I have bruises that last for weeks. So it's actually going to... My hips crack in the morning, my knees crack.

I will be the play-by-play announcer for the PLL doubleheader on July 31st

It is happening. July 31st, a doubleheader. I'm [on] Peacock. I will be doing the play-by-play. It would not be possible without all of you guys in here. Paul Rabil was a big advocate.

Robert Griffin III has found his future career as an analyst

So ESPN and Fox are in a bidding war for him as an analyst. Whoa. So it looks like he found his future career. ... The executives were, quote, blown away by his audition.

The media will soon claim that sports were better without fans in the building

I'm going to level it up. I'm going to say by the time you're hearing my voice, if it's in the afternoon tomorrow... somebody will have already written the take that sports were better when there were no fans in the building.

I will not be a 'mail it in' employee during my final days at ESPN

I wouldn't do that. I have too much [pride]... even on the days where you show up late and you're kind of scattered, like when it's time to do the show, like I have pride in what I do... I absolutely always give effort.

The PMT YouTube channel will not hit 500,000 subscribers by August 15th because listeners don't have it in them to watch

The listeners don't have it in them. Yeah. They don't have it in them. We're not going to hit 500,000. We're not gonna be able to do the live stream. They're listeners. They're not watching.

ESPN's new hockey coverage will feature a 'safe' and poor imitation of Ryan Whitney or Paul Bissonnette

My prediction is that they're going to need to find somebody to fill like the Paul Bissonette, Ryan Whitney. There's definitely a meeting going on right now at ESPN where they're like, 'we need to get our Biz Nasty or Ryan Whitney of our own on ESPN.' But, you know, like a little safer than them. And they're going to go out there and try to find somebody. And it's going to be the worst impression of Paul Bissonette and Ryan Whitney that they have on the set.

Podcast rankings are misleading; people should check episode rankings for true listener stats

How come some podcasts randomly go higher than you guys in the podcast ranking sometimes? Does that mean they get more listeners? No, it does not. So if you start a new podcast, your podcast is always going to be... It just goes to number one. That's just how it works. The way to realize the success of shows is episodes. So if you go to the episode page, you can see where shows are ranked. Just look at the episodes, bitch.

Drew Brees will not be a good broadcaster

I got a hot take. I don't think Drew Brees is going to be that good in the booth... There's going to be a wave of people being like, and as much shit as we give Tony Romo, he's objectively good... I don't think Drew Brees has a personality. I would sell all my stock on Drew Brees being good in the booth.

The return of the EA Sports College Football game is a monumental and universally loved day

The best day I haven't seen the Internet universally love something more than this game returning. It is so fucking great. It is going to take like two or three years, which who cares? ... This was a monumental day. This is a great day.

In-person interviews will likely return after the Fourth of July

Would you guys say over, under, Fourth of July? [for having people back in-person] Over, probably, if I'm being realistic, yeah. I really hope that it does [happen].

The PLL and MLL merger is a monumental moment in lacrosse history

I think that this is actually probably like a huge moment in the lacrosse history. This is like when the NFL and AFL merged.

Camo Crocs are sick and making a comeback

Camo Crocs are sick. Crocs might be making a comeback.

Gen Z's lack of cable is the primary reason for declining sports TV ratings

Our biggest fan base comes from gen Z and younger Millennials... consume more basketball and NBA than any sport online but they don't have cable. They don't have satellite and so they couldn't even get ESPN and TNT. So that's a real problem for us... it's not about making excuses, the reality is this is just a different year.

Sports will never return to a state where players don't use their leverage for political activism

I don't think it's ever going to go back to players not using their leverage in terms of getting into political arguments or political discussions or activism or that sort of thing. So at this point it's like you can either stop watching sports entirely or you can just kind of accept that this is going to be the new normal. You're putting your head in the sand if you think that it's ever going to go back to more of the way it was when these two things didn't interact as much.

Thom Brennaman will lose his job for his hot mic slur

So if you're living under a rock he... had a hot mic situation where he used a homophobic slur and probably is going to lose his job.

Kirk Herbstreit and Chris Fowler on Monday Night Football will be phenomenal

One positive. Let's finish this with one positive Kirk Herbstreit, Chris Fowler on Monday Night Football will be phenomenal. They're a great Monday Night Football both they and they're going to call Monday night.

Jay Glazer 'held the world hostage' with a dud scoop about a player getting COVID

Jay Glazer held the world hostage for 24 hours thinking he was going to break the biggest news ever and then just told us a guy [Brian Allen] got coronavirus. But he was fine. Hundreds of thousands of, I think millions, yeah, millions of people have had coronavirus and he was like, big news coming tomorrow.

Tim Tebow is a guaranteed ratings draw regardless of what sport or team he is playing for

It doesn't matter if [Tebow] is on the Mets or if he's playing for the Nets, people will tune in and watch Tim Tebow.

Joe Rogan is officially uncancellable

Twitter decided to go full send and I'm going to tip my cap to the cancel brigade because they went for the final boss, Joe Rogan, and failed... He is uncancellable because he would actually let's say that Twitter was able to get his contract with Spotify canceled, right? He would just take that wave of publicity, go back to what he was doing before and still make a shitload of money.

Tearing twins apart at birth causes permanent psychological separation anxiety

I think the reason they didn't open up the study is that they realize that by tearing twins apart actually made them crazy. Remember when they said they had separation anxiety? I think that's what they found out... you tear apart two twins they get fucked up from it.

Lance Armstrong is exactly like Pete Rose in how he only admits to what he's already been caught for

[Lance] actually reminds me a lot of Pete Rose in the way that he deals with things where he wants he's like caught red-handed he'll admit something and maybe he'll give you like a little bit past what you already know about right but then you ask them well what about all this other stuff and then he'll put up like one blocker but like no I never did that.

I will guest on one random podcast with 100-200 followers every day next week

I will do one random podcast per day starting on Monday. And the criteria is it has to have between one and two hundred followers on Twitter. So it can't be like a brand new podcast, more random the better. I'll do five podcasts and then I'm done.

Fake crowd noise in sports broadcasts is a good idea with no downside

I'm totally down with the fake crowd noise. They had it for the Bundesliga. I thought it was awesome. It really does make it seem like a real game... I don't see any downside. I know the opposition to that is we want to hear the players talk, but as soon as players know that they're on a live mic, they're not going to talk the same way.

The camera angles for Washington Huskies football and basketball games are the weirdest in sports

The camera angles, both for football and basketball, are the weirdest camera angles ever. The basketball camera angle when you're watching a Washington Huskies game is insane. I don't understand how – I'm a degenerate gambler, so these are the weird things that I notice.

I'm surprised there has never been a Call of Duty branded movie

I'm surprised there's never been a Call of Duty movie, to be perfectly honest. ... I know [there are war movies], but there's not like a Call of Duty branded [one].

News websites are exploiting engagement by phrasing headlines as 'alley-oop jokes' on Twitter.

News websites have started to exploit the ratio, and they're starting to do like alley-oop jokes on Twitter. ... When companies are tweeting out like an article that they just wrote, they're phrasing their tweets in such a way that they know they're going to get replied to and a shitload of quote tweets.

Eli Manning was the biggest 'celebrity problem' for Entourage because he ghosted the production after requesting a cameo.

The real biggest problem I had was Eli Manning. ... After they won the Super Bowl... my cell phone rings and it's Eli Manning. He's like, 'It's my favorite show, I want to be on it.' I'm like, 'Well, then you're on it.' Now cut to six months later... Eli does not call me back. I've now written a script... I'm calling his agents. Nothing.

I almost killed off Vinnie Chase in the series finale

I thought about killing Vince to end the show. ... Mark [Wahlberg] sat me down and goes, we're going to make a movie. We're going to make a Broadway show. We're going to make an animated show. You can't fucking kill Vince. So that ultimately was probably the right decision.

The bump against Goldberg at Super ShowDown 2019 was inches away from being catastrophic

The bump that I had in Saudi when I was working with Goldberg over there. I think that one was a couple inches from being probably catastrophic. It kind of sent out nerve impulses to all my injuries at once, like an electrical charge went through my body.