Takes

Jupiter GC Lynx will never win a TGL championship

I actually say right now, Jupiter's never gonna win one. Unlike Saturn, no rings. It is crazy that we got Tiger Woods and we can't win.

The NBA will expand to Seattle and Las Vegas by the 2028-2029 season

NBA expansion teams. Yes. Seattle and Vegas. I think it's 28, 20 29... Little bit, little bit of a shuffle [moving Minnesota and Memphis to the East].

Rams fans should be worried because Puka Nacua is focused on everything but football right now

My Hot Seat this week is gonna be Rams fans. ... Puka might be focused on everything but football right now. He's on an elite bachelor run. ... I just feel when you're on this kind of heater, I think it, it's gonna transcend and he, this is gonna bleed into the regular season football.

Heat 2 will be a 'disgusting' (great) film starring Christian Bale and Leonardo DiCaprio

My Cool Throne: Heat 2. Christian Bale. Leonardo DiCaprio. Disgusting film. Hell yes. I trust Jake Hamilton. He reported it. Christian Bale, Leo DiCaprio, Heat 2. I'm in. Awesome.

Tiger Woods will play in the Masters this year

Tiger Woods and the Masters. 'cause he has said that he has not ruled out playing in the masters this year. ... The way that he said it makes me think it's on, he's right. It's on. He's loading.

I might get evicted because my alarm clock went off for two days while I was on vacation

I accidentally kind of alarm clock too close to the sun recently... I had left my alarm clock plugged in... My alarm clock is going off like today and yesterday. We're gonna have to take like a meeting here... There's a world where like, I'm the worst neighbor of all time and I just left my irrationally loud alarm clock going.

The Bears, Saints, or Chiefs will win the Super Bowl next year

The Chiefs, the Bears and the Saints because since 2020 the only Super Bowl winners have been the Chiefs or NFC teams getting their second Super Bowl in franchise history. So that leaves us the Chiefs, the Bears or the Saints for next year. So I like that. I like my chances there.

Landon Dickerson and Lane Johnson will definitely be back for the Eagles next season

They'll be back. They'll be back... a couple months away from the game and you know, your body starts to heal up a little bit. You start to get that itch, they'll be back.

Sydney Sweeney will become a billionaire through her new bra business venture

Sydney Sweeney's getting into the bra game and it's over. It's a wrap. Probably the most No doubt... Sydney Sweeney bras, this is going to, she's gonna do well. Congrats to Sydney Sweeney becoming a billionaire.

LIV Golf will be defunct within five years

Do you think that that Liv will be around in five years? [Hank]: No.

The LIV Dam is about to break with Brooks Koepka's return to the PGA

Brooks is back. ... If one of [Bryson DeChambeau, Jon Rahm, or Cam Smith] flips, that's a second massive domino that it will be tough to come back from. ... The damn could break.

John Rahm will flip back to the PGA Tour

I think John Rahm's gonna come back. I don't know about Cam Smith, but Rahm feels like the next guy that's going to flip [from LIV to PGA].

JMU making the CFP will force a rule change to ensure it never happens again

JMU getting into this playoff, they will rewrite the rules for the playoffs. So this never happens again. And you'll be fine... But they're very upset that the ACC did not advocate strongly for Notre Dame.

LSU is Lane Kiffin's forever home and he will never leave the program

I don't think Lane Kiffin would ever leave. This is the one destination for him.

My ceiling as a golfer might be higher as a lefty

I might be more... I can maybe my my ceiling is higher. Potentially left-handed more good at golf. My ceiling is higher. Damn. We'll see.

Now is the time to buy stock in the 49ers looking at their upcoming schedule.

If you were trying to buy stock in something, there might be a spot where you could buy some stock in the Niners. 'cause they might, there's a chance the Niners could rip off some wins here in the next few games.

A 'hot blob' and an 'earth tilt' will make the Chicago winter catastrophic and uninhabitable

Apocalyptic winter might be upon us. Why? I think it's inhabitable winter. We might just have to go out of country... High pressure, massive ocean heat wave up in North Pacific. The blob... They're saying 2013-2014 had nothing on this blob.

Wisconsin Football will be bad for at least the next five to seven years

I'm starting to think now they're gonna be bad for five to seven years minimum. And if they just keep going down this path, it's gonna be a decade. To the sunk cost fallacy of essentially saying, we made a mistake... let's throw more money at it.

LeBron James will not retire until the 2028 Olympics in Los Angeles

I was talking to [Mark] Titus about it... he was saying that he doesn't think LeBron's gonna retire till 2028 when the Olympics are in LA. That's so much more LeBron. ... He will, that will be the last basketball. He plays the Olympics in 2028.

Planet Earth needs an alien invasion to unite humanity

I've said that about wars and aliens. I think Planet Earth could use a good alien invasion because we're sick of beating each other up. It would unite us. We're sick of hitting each other. We wanna take out [the aliens].

Paul George will be the biggest bust in Philadelphia sports history

Paul George, Playoff P, Pre-season P has injured himself again... he's probably gonna go down as the biggest bust in Philly history. Him and Andrew Bynum... Ben Simmons... Markelle Fultz. Playoff P is in the running right now for biggest bust.

Brian Rolapp is being sent to the PGA Tour to eventually facilitate Saudi investment in the NFL

What's the biggest challenge facing golf right now? Getting everyone to play in one league. He's being brought in I think in large part to figure out that framework, make a deal so that Liv and PGA get back together... and then he is gonna come back to the NFL in a few years and be like, okay, we're opening up the potential investors in NFL teams to foreign investment funds.

Apple is going to force brain chips on everyone and we'll have no choice but to accept them

I don't want it, but it's coming. It's gonna happen and I'm gonna have to get it... So it's chip or be left behind. Correct. No choice. We just have to chip.

Charlie Woods will win more than five and a half career majors

Charlie Woods over under five and a half career majors... Over, over. Smash. Easy. Smash it easy.

Paige Bueckers will be a better WNBA pro than Caitlin Clark because she's more athletic and explosive

I do think that she [Paige Bueckers] might be a better WNBA player than Caitlin Clark. I think she's more athletic. She's more explosive. Caitlin Clark obviously shoots better from the outside... but in terms of, I'm talking about winning.

Paige Bueckers will be a better pro than Caitlin Clark

I still think Paige Bueckers gonna be a better pro. I know, I know, she, I think Paige is gonna be better.

The Big 10 and SEC are likely to add Florida State once the ACC officially dissolves.

If Clemson and Florida State leave the ACC, they're not gonna survive. So the Big 10 and SEC basically are saying we don't want 'em unless the ACC is gone. Which if they leave, they'll be gone. In which case we want 'em.

Jim Harbaugh will lead the Chargers to an AFC Championship game within the next 5 years

The chargers, they're gonna be good. Harbaugh will be in an AFC championship game over under five years... I think we'll do it in the third or fourth year. I think it's three.

JJ McCarthy has the potential to be the greatest quarterback of all time because of his winning pedigree and untapped upside

JJ McCarthy's a perfect quarterback where you can look at it and if you wanna look at it glass half full, he could be the greatest quarterback of all time. 'cause you can essentially say he played winning football, he made the throws he needed to make, and they also asked him not to do anything. So there's so much more. There's upside.

If Mike Evans plays 3 to 5 more years, he will be on the Mount Rushmore of wide receivers

If he plays another 3, 4, 5 years, he will be in the conversation for Mount Rushmore of wide receivers in terms of like his total numbers and the dominance he's had every single season.

Dylan Raiola is already a bust after his commitment poem

What is this? So fellow fans await with hope in the air for Dylan to choose his purpose to declare in a weekend's decision, destiny calls to fulfill his purpose. Where a new dynasty enthralls... He's already a bust in my eyes. I'm happy for Nebraska fans, but you can't be feeling good about that poem.

Charlie Woods is on pace to win 40 majors

Charlie Woods just won a tournament. Charlie won a tournament... right now he's on pace to win 40 Majors, which is pretty incredible.

Tyreek Hill will become a porn star after he retires from the NFL

Tyreek Hill... came out today and said that when he retires he wants to just kind of get outta the limelight and enjoys retirement in peace and also be a porn star. I would watch.

Baron Trump will eventually be the first overall pick in the NBA Draft

How awesome would that be if Baron Trump was the first overall pick in the NBA Draft. We were right. It was gonna happen.

The city of Philadelphia will never win a championship in any sport ever again

My Cool Throne is the city of Philadelphia never winning anything ever. Joel Embiid, our prince... made comments the other day that he wants to win a Championship in Philadelphia or anywhere else... It seems like if he doesn't win this year in Philly, he's probably out.

The Knicks should not retire Carmelo Anthony's number; doing so would be 'soft'

You should retire numbers for, for winners. Not like nice guys that you're... I'm just saying it's soft.

The US Men's National Team will win the 2026 World Cup because of Folarin Balogun

We got a big defection... Folarin Balogun. He's on the arsenal, he's on the arsenals and he's a striker. And we don't have a striker... so it's coming home 2026. Hell, yes. Way to go, dude.

If Big Cat and PFT lose their playoff picks bet, they will each eat six hot dogs for Jake's bowling total

If we beat you, Ray Allen tweet. If you beat us, we will both eat six hotdogs on your behalf when you're bowling. That's 60 pins we will take down for you.

Charlie Woods will win at least two major championships in his career.

Will Charlie Woods win a major? I would say yes. Hammer absolutely. Multiple over one and a half. Yeah. Majors over for Charlie Woods. ... Just bet on him to be better than Tiger. Charlie Woods's gonna be the greatest.

Pardon My Take will do a show from the Maui Invitational within 5 years

I'm gonna proclaim it right now. Within the next 5 years. This podcast is doing the Maui tournament. Yeah, I'm, I'm in Hawaii for Thanksgiving. We'll get a big fucking pig with with pineapple.

NFL jerseys will eventually have advertising patches like the NBA and NHL

The NHL, like the NBA, is adding advertising to the front of the jerseys in 2022. I feel like it's inevitable for NFL.

Tom Brady will run for President of the United States in the future.

I will have a comment on [Tom Brady's] performance at the White House. He looked great standing up there speaking to our nation. I could see it happening in the future. I really can... I am running for President. He was great dropping jokes. Good looking guy. Everyone loves him. Winner.

Matthew Stafford is a Hall of Famer

Dude, I'm rooting for Matt Stafford because there's a few takes that we all have out there that are just lingering, and Matt Stafford being a Hall of Famer, I could retire on that take.

The NFL will eventually expand to an 18-game schedule

My hot seat is the 16-game schedule for the NFL because it looks like we're going to 17. And my cool throw will be the 18-game schedule because as soon as we go to 17, we're going to go to 18. It's the greatest, like, sleight of hand that the NFL is doing here.

I would 100% beat the shit out of Jake Paul in a boxing match

By the way, I'd 100% beat the shit out of Jake Paul. He wouldn't touch me. They'll never fight me because I actually would beat them. They only choose guys they know they can strategically win with reach.

Kim Kardashian has a better chance of being President than Kanye West

I actually do think that I don't think it's going to be Kanye. I would actually think that Kim [Kardashian] has a better chance of being pressed. Absolutely. In like five, ten years, 100%.

A golf match featuring OJ Simpson and Tiger Woods would be the highest-rated television show of all time

Tiger Woods and OJ Simpson as a team? Who is not watching that? I do believe that that would be the highest-rated television show of all time.

Texas A&M will win a national championship before the University of Texas

If I had to do gun to my head right now, I would definitely say Texas A&M is going to win a national title before Texas. [They] got the road. Jimbo [Fisher]. I would say neither, but if I had to go in the next hundred years, I would just pick the team that's playing the SEC.

Gender reveals will backfire in 15 years when children see their parents' disappointed reactions to their sex.

I have a theory that we're going to reach a point in society and probably 15 years where this whole wave of gender reveals going to come back to bite everyone in the ass... they grow up and they have the ability to go online and they see their video and they're like, 'oh so you didn't want me? You wanted me something else.'

Rob Gronkowski will make a 69 joke on his Fox Sports set before Week 9

Over under week nine, [Rob Gronkowski] makes a 69 joke on set. [I'll take the] under.