Takes

The guy in charge of measuring arm lengths at the NFL Combine is bad at his job.

There's a big story that's brewing under wraps at the combine... the guy that measures arm length at the combines is not good at measuring arm length. This is going to be two years in a row where the arm length that's measured at the combine does not add up to what happens at the individual workouts or the guy's pro days. He's got a short measurement.

E11even is a club with strippers, not a strip club

The national anthem at E11even last night... E11even is not a strip club, it is a club with strippers. So let's just get that clear. Because a lot of people were upset about it and I'm not gonna stand for it. Put some respect on E11even. It's a club with strippers.

I have a top-five basketball IQ in the NBA

I definitely 1000% have a top five basketball IQ in the NBA for sure... Myself, [LeBron], Joker... Chris Paul... and Luca.

The Broncos' wide defensive line alignment gives Josh Allen a free pass to scramble up the middle.

They line up super, super wide and when you line up super wide... it gives Josh Allen free reign to look at the guards, look at the center, figure out where he is gonna go... Josh is a guy who can drop back in a non non scheme anything and just be like, oh, the ends are by me. I'm gonna take what's given to me.

Exposing your 'boys' to sunlight increases testosterone.

Never tried it, but there is evidence that if you get sun on your boys, that your testosterone will go up.

The NFL engineered the Steelers' Monday Night Football winning streak

The NFL has engineered this streak for the Pittsburgh Steelers. The win-loss record, the winning percentage of opponents that the Steelers have played during the streak on Monday night football is 40%. That is by far the weakest schedule of any team that's played on Monday Night Football.

The current Seahawks defense is playing better than the Legion of Boom did in any seven-game stretch

The Seahawks defense in terms of... a seven-game stretch, they have actually played better in a seven-game stretch this year than the best seven-game stretch of the Legion of Boom.

Ayahuasca allows you to have real conversations with your ancestors in another realm

You go back, you go back and you have real conversations with your people. You know, you go to another realm... The medicine brought me places that definitely put me at peace with things that were, I had turmoil in my system.

The NFL is rigged to favor the Chiefs

The NFL is rigged. There was a study, UTEP did a study. It's statistically proven that the Chiefs... have gotten way more favorable calls in that timeframe. And they did the research that that did not happen with other dynasties in the past.

Obama calls 'bullshit fouls' in pickup basketball

I heard from someone that's hooped with him [Obama]... I heard that He calls bullshit fouls... In pickup. It is Mark against his person. No, absolutely... Weak ass fouls and pick up basketball.

I am currently in the best shape of my career.

[I am in the] best shape of my life right now. Was that partially because everyone called you fat online? No, don't care. Everybody Gotta have something to say. Something to talk about. That's just a life.

Nikola Jokic cares more about his horses winning than winning NBA championships

It was abundantly clear that [Jokic] cares more about his horse winning races than he does about winning NBA championships.

Getting hit by a pitch only hurts for about thirty seconds to a minute

My son looks at me, he goes, do you think that hurt? I was like, yeah, probably hurt. But it goes away after, you know, 30 seconds or a minute.

Cutting dairy from my diet cured my chronic knee pain in three weeks

I was having knee issues and I was... I needed to make some adjustments... I told myself, I'm gonna do it [go dairy free] for a month... probably about three weeks into it, honestly, I felt so much better. My body just felt fresher... I attributed it to the lack of dairy at the time.

I had no intention of hurting Ruben Tejada during the 2015 NLDS slide

There was zero intention to fuck anybody up on that play... Obviously the outcome was different than other slides that I've had. I didn't anticipate actually hitting him nearly as hard as I did... I had no intention of hurting him whatsoever.

CONCACAF is rigged to ensure the United States doesn't win the Gold Cup

I join the chorus of those who were saying CONCACAF rigged. They don't want to see the United States win the Gold Cup. They'd much rather have it be Mexico.

Bratwurst has the worst physical aftermath of any competitive eating food

There's a couple that like, I know going in, they're gonna be rough. Like anything with bratwurst, bratwurst, man, there's, they add extra fat in there and it, it's, it's running through you. It, it, it, it's, you're not in control. It's there. There's, there's accidents bound to happen there.

The best indicators for a recruit's success are the uncles on the mother's side

If you can meet mom and then if you meet one of her brothers. The uncles from mom's sides are usually the greatest indicators of what you're gonna get... DNA means a lot.

Montreal's Bell Centre is the loudest sports building in the world, louder than LSU's Death Valley

That is the loudest building I've ever been in in my life. That is, that's louder than Death Valley. LSU on a Saturday night... I was amazed from, from the time I walked in until the time that I left. Like, they're pissed off. They're loud, they're super knowledgeable. It's crazy.

Kidney stone pain is worse than childbirth

Also, the doctor again for the second time told me that this pain is worse than childbirth. Which I will not be saying to any women, but it's true... I've given birth to like 13 kidney stones. I'm as tough as Philip Rivers' wife.

NFL players prioritize money above Hall of Fame status and Super Bowl rings

Of course it's always about the money... I go around and ask players, rank 'em. I think they all rank first money... then Hall of Fame... and then the ring is third. You know what, they don't sell their money on eBay.

Pete Rose should be reinstated to MLB and the Hall of Fame because his 'lifetime' ban is technically over

It was a lifetime ban. Right. The operative word being life. Right. He's no longer alive. Right. He's dead. So the ban should have already been lifted.

I can definitely beat up my brother Matthew Tkachuk in a fight

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. [Big Cat: You could beat the fuck out of him?] I'll say and he'll see it and be like, yeah, he can. Oh, he knows. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The Jets are disgusted with Aaron Rodgers and want him to cut back on the Pat McAfee Show distractions

The Jets disgusted with Aaron Rodgers... How are we gonna do this Pat McAfee thing? We would really like you to cut back on a lot of this stuff, the distractions so we could all be one, keep it all out. New chapter, new New York Jets.

Miles Garrett wants to leave Cleveland because he doesn't believe in the Browns' plan

Miles wants to get paid... but he really wants to win. Like he's got this attitude like, it's not happening here in Cleveland. Like, I don't like your plan and I think we could all agree that the plan's not great.

I can currently squat 405 pounds

I probably could get 405 [squat] right now. Peak squat was probably like 455. [I still have] the thick lowers.

I'm actually getting faster as I get older

I'm getting better at sliding and protecting myself. And I'm getting more agile so I'm making some more people miss. I'm getting a little faster and I'm gonna continue to work on that.

Children reach a critical development stage at age seven where they absorb every word and begin making independent decisions

My aunt, she always told me that the age of seven is when the kids, they lose their subconscious and they start to really take in every word that you say and they go start making decisions on their own. So when I'm in my quiet time, that's the thing is I'm thinking about like, man, how can I serve my son who about to be seven? 'Cause I know it's his own time.

Power Slap is the most successful business I have ever been part of in such a short time

The most successful business I've ever been a part of in such a short amount of time. [Power Slap]

The Mike Silver story about Dan Snyder ignoring Kirk Cousins is 'fucking bullshit'

Mike Silver came on the show... and he told you this story about the Cleveland game. And it was a great game... and he told you a story about how Dan Snyder walked in the locker room and like damn near trucked Kirk to get to me and asked me if I was okay. That reminded me... it was a fucking over exaggeration of the story. Dan Snyder walked in the locker room... he didn't brush past Kirk Cousins. He walked to me... then he turned around and he congratulated Kirk Cousins on the job that he did.

Coaches in the NFL know zero about strength and conditioning

That's an underrated thing right there. Strength and conditioning thing. 'Cause guess what, guess how many coaches know anything about strength and conditioning? That'd be zero. Nobody does. But it's so damn important.

Playing golf in shorts is at least a two-stroke advantage per round

It's so much nicer [to wear shorts]... I'd say at least two [strokes]. Really. Yeah.

Patrick Mahomes would be worth over $100 million a year on a truly free market

If the NFL was truly free market capitalism, [Mahomes] might go to the Panthers. David Tepper... he might go for over a hundred million dollars.

Joel Embiid believes the current LeBron James is not the same as the dominant version from years ago

The LeBron now is not the LeBron that was a couple of years ago. So it's a big difference. Everybody would also tell you, and you can see for yourself, the athletic LeBron dominant that he was a couple years ago is not the same that he is now.

Antonio Brown is the hardest practicing player I've ever seen in my life.

I loved AB. He is the hardest practicing player I've ever seen in my life. He practices hard. He competes at just a different level. And you know, hopefully he's a hall of famer. As a player, he's insane.

I make up fake stories to motivate myself like Michael Jordan did.

My caddy who was my best friend, he is like, 'you're a psychopath.' Because like, I'll make stories up. I see Jordan do that. He's like, I make stories up. Like yeah, they thought I couldn't do this... those are two plays... that fuel you.

I saw a bright circle UFO in Austin, Texas

Literally like, we got the, the screen on the car's real bright... Emily's in the passenger seat. She's looking at her phone, this like, like circle shape object. Like bright as hell. Literally just goes from right here and goes straight down. She was looking at her phone... it was so bright that she looked up and saw it too and it just like disappeared. Like completely disappeared.

Adam Schefter is one of the few media members you can actually trust with off-the-record information

Adam and I actually are close... he's one of the media members you can actually trust that if it's off the record, it's not going anywhere. Like he actually will keep it close to the vest.

Baseball has the highest amount of celebratory ass slaps in sports

Baseball for sure. Football probably second... baseball, that's how they shake hands.

I am 120% stronger than I was two years ago

[I am] 10, 15 pounds [bigger]. I feel a lot stronger. ... If I was a hundred percent strong two years ago, I am 120% strong now.

Lobster meat is definitely meat because it is a crustacean

Lobster meat is considered meat because it is a crustacean and a type of seafood. ... [To Max] You grew up in a dumb household [if you think fish isn't meat].

I would have been a D1 basketball player for Auburn if I had prioritized it over baseball

I would like to think just my competitive nature that I could have gone and played D1 basketball. If I put as much time and effort as I did into baseball, into basketball, I felt like I had a really good chance at doing that. And being an Auburn fan, I would've loved to go to the Auburn Tigers.

I wasn't going to fake a celebration for the cameras just because the Celtics won the championship

I just don't know really. Like I was thinking that what should I do? And I kind of knew that that was gonna be the reaction, but I also wasn't gonna fake it. Like I wasn't gonna drop to my knees and be like, you guys knew you were gonna win after game three.

Tiger Woods definitely used HGH to come back from his injuries

He definitely, I think he without a doubt a hundred percent used HGH to come back from injuries. I like this. Maybe this is the summer of getting all of our goats... They all use steroids. That's fine.

Chevy Chase once kicked me off his trampoline for jumping too high

freshman year of high school... I'm gonna impress [Chevy Chase] by how high I can jump on this trampoline... And instead he goes, get off my trampoline. You jumping too high. It's dangerous. And I was like, oh man. And I get off the trampoline and then he just jumps on the trampoline with my friend and I was just standing there.

Gronk is actually a savant with numbers

I'm telling you right now. Gronk knows numbers, bro... whenever we used to talk contracts... I would always bust his balls like, yo, what's square root of this, Gronk? 144. He'd be like 12, dude! Like, he really knows numbers pretty well, dude. Not joking.

Approximately 27 to 30 NBA players could lead a 16-seed to a National Championship

I was gonna go like triple. Way more triple, triple that maybe. 30, maybe 40... guys in the NBA are so good, man. Yeah, yeah. Like you gotta automatically think bigs have an advantage 'cause it's college. So like the big is back, right? Yeah... We'll go with this. 27. 27.

The worst shooter in the NBA would be the best shooter on any college team

I've seen JaVale McGee and Dwight Howard go shot for shot from the three point line to five spots... and y'all would never trust them to shoot like outside in the game... the worst shooter on the NBA team would be the best shooter on a college team. Yeah. And like that's even including big men.

The average person has zero chance of recording five rebounds in an NBA game, even if offered $10 million to do so.

You could give you $10 million right now... or you had to go get like five rebounds in the NBA game for like $10 million. And people are like, I think I could do it. You couldn't, bro... I'm six five and somewhat athletic and like pretty heady... I average like three and a half rebounds at night... you're not getting five.

Caitlin Clark currently faces ten times more hate than Duke.

I don't even know how, how people have found this much hate in their heart for [Caitlin Clark] again. She she has like Duke Times 10 hate. Yeah. It's crazy.