Takes

Midweek college basketball is better than the NBA

That's why I love college basketball so much, especially this time of year where every game feels so important... there's nothing like these college basketball games, a midweek game where the crowd and you get true home court advantage. And it feels like there's big, big time stakes.

Landon Dickerson and Lane Johnson will definitely be back for the Eagles next season

They'll be back. They'll be back... a couple months away from the game and you know, your body starts to heal up a little bit. You start to get that itch, they'll be back.

LeBron James is the face of the NBA until the day he retires

As long as LeBron's in the league, LeBron is not only the face of the league, but definitely has a weighted opinion on basketball... LeBron is the face of the league until he is no longer in the league.

LeBron James is officially obsessed with golf

He is checked out. He's got the bug. He's officially obsessed with golf. I would like to see his YouTube stats... I think he's deep into the Pop Does Sports Universe. He probably watched the Internet Invitational.

The Rams money line is the play because of Sean McVay's new baby

Sean McVay, they, the Rams money line's gotta be the play. ... Absolutely. New baby. Good vibes.

Trix Yogurt is an elite-tier snack

TRX Yogurt is elite. The best. No free ads, but that's a good free ads. Do they exist? ... TRX Yogurt was discontinued in 2016... but it's since returned to the market.

I have no confidence in the Phillies right now

I, I, I'm, I'm tuned in. I watch every game. It's just, I, it's, I don't know. They're frustrating squad... Dude, I just don't have a lot of confidence in this, in this team right now.

Installing a soft serve ice cream machine in the office is a life-changing move

I reassessed my life and I realized that a life without constant access to soft serve ice cream is not a life I want to live anymore... I trade [shooting a diamond out of my dick] in a heartbeat. I mean a soft serve machine. It's like a, it's a gold mine. It's a dream of mine. It's the best. I love soft serve ice cream. It's so good. And it's good for you.

The Wisconsin Badgers women's hockey team is a true dynasty

The Wisconsin Badgers women's hockey team won another national title. Four outta six years, eight total dominant. Dynasty for sure. That's the Dynasty.

Aaron Rodgers is repeating the Brett Favre path exactly

Aaron Rodgers... it is Cats in the Cradle with Brett Favre. He's just learning everything from [him] and he hated Brett Favre for it too. It's perfect.

I will be rooting against the Chiefs in the Super Bowl

I will be rooting against the Chiefs in the Super Bowl, but I also respect this greatness. But I'm rooting, I'm telling you right now, I'm rooting against the Chiefs.

Novak Djokovic is the undisputed GOAT of tennis

Carlos Alcaraz... he got fucking worked by Kovich the goat. Djokovic is 37 years old and I thought, big bad Carlos Alcaraz, no one can beat this guy. Not so fast.

The rumored Conor McGregor vs. Logan Paul boxing match will be a 'shitty money grab' that sucks

Conor McGregor tweeted that the rumors of about with Rio are false. I'm in preliminary agreements... to face Logan Paul in a boxing exhibition in India... It's probably gonna suck. I'm sick of it. This might be, so they fight someone who's actually like at the top of their game.

I love the NBA Cup courts and the point differential incentive

I am a full NBA cup guy... The courts I love. I like something different. I also love the fact, and this is probably because I like to gamble on overs that teams are playing for point differential. That makes it fun.

Klay Thompson is going to go nuts in his first game back at Golden State — taking every Klay over

I'm just gonna take every single Klay Thompson over. First time back in Golden State. He's gonna go nuts.

The Celtics are attacking the next title rather than defending the old one

Joe Mazzulla, Celtics coach, was doing an interview and they asked him about how he feels about defending the title and he basically just took down the term forever. He said the phrase 'defending a title' is a very passive-aggressive term. If you look at the animal kingdom, some of the strongest animals don't defend—they're the most aggressive and they attack the most. So we're attacking the title.

The first few weeks of college are the best time of your life and you should embrace it

Every year, no matter what, it's these last two weeks of August when I see kids going back to college, I'm like, fuck. That was, that's it. It is the fastest four years of your life. So just embrace it and like close your eyes and live in the moment. September is such a joke in college. You don't go to any of your classes. You don't have to worry about anything.

Robert Saleh is actually making football hard again for the Jets

My cool throne is for Aaron Rodgers because when we had Aaron Rodgers on for Chill Week, he told us 'make football hard again.' And he said that the Jets camp this year is much harder and maybe the hardest in the last seven or eight years of his career. And he said that Robert Saleh is like really cracking the whip.

Brandon Aiyuk does not want to come to the Patriots

Brandon Aiyuk rumors were were hustling and bustling... a report came out today, which isn't official that it's gonna happen with the Steelers. I think it means he doesn't want to come [to the Patriots].

If Tarik Skubal gets traded to the Dodgers, my Cy Young bet is in trouble

Tarik Skubal, who is the presumptive Cy Young favorite... is possibly gonna get traded... I bet it right then and there. So I have plus 400. I think he's like minus 125 now. But he might get traded to the Dodgers. If he gets traded to the Dodgers, I'm fucked. You don't want him in the National League. They only base their voting on what you did in your new league.

Human beings just become worms after they die

I think what happens after you die is you get eaten by worms. We all just become worms.

Three beers is the perfect amount for playing a round of golf

Drank three beers and then the round ended and he ended up in a playoff and won the playoff... he was like, three beers are gonna make me play perfect. Like yes. It's the perfect amount. It is... for the people that say like, I need, you know, you hit a bad shot or you have a couple bad holes. You're like, I need to drink three beers.

The winner of the US Open will shoot between minus five and minus one

No, I would like minus five to minus one. [to win]

Jared Goff is no longer a bridge quarterback after proving everyone wrong with the Lions

When the trade happened, everybody was saying like, they're gonna use Jared Goff as a bridge quarterback. Now he's he's not a bridge. ... it felt like there was Yeah, when he got traded for the Rams, it's like, oh, his career's over and now he's he's proven everyone wrong.

Caitlin Clark is going to increase WNBA revenue enough to improve rookie salaries

The w NBA draft, the, the, all the rookie wages getting tweeted out and everyone's like, what the fuck? It's like, well, this is what Caitlin Clark might be able to fix. She might be able to prove things a little bit. Like if people watch and then it starts making more money, then they get to pay more.

Team USA will win every Olympic basketball game by 50 points

USA announced its Olympic roster for 2024 in Paris. And it is stacked. Yeah. They're looking to win every game by 50.

Fanatics MLB jerseys are complete pieces of shit

It's starting to bother me now that I'm watching a little more baseball. Just like not being able to read the pitcher's jersey. And it seems like every single night there's a new example of the jerseys just being pieces of shit.

I am not scared of Chicago winters after my first year living there

I just, I don't know. It, it's been incredible. There's been four bad days and two of them had playoff football on. I lived in Massachusetts, New Hampshire. Those are way worse. I'm not scared of the winter here. That's my point.

Grown men getting ice cream by themselves is actually great

Do you know grown men who go get ice cream by themselves? I don't. It's very strange. [Big Cat responding to Clay Travis quote] Literally all the time I get ice cream. I'm gonna do that as a protest tonight. I'm gonna get ice cream by myself... Ice cream by yourself is actually great.

UMass moving to the MAC is great for 'MACtion' and weeknight football

My cool Throne is Mion, we're getting more Mion because UMass is getting added, which means more games back... more weeknight football eventually.

Notre Dame will never get higher than a 5-seed in the 12-team CFP

If Notre Dame is the best team in the country, they get the number five seed. [Because] the four highest ranked conference champions will be seeds one through four.

The Taco Bell Cheez-It Crunchwrap will be elite

Let me just say that The Cheez-It Crunchwrap looks elite. Yes. It looks, I without tasting it, I can tell you that's probably on my Mount Rushmore of Taco Bell Foods.

MetLife Stadium is cursed

My Hot Seat is MetLife Stadium. It was recently announced that the very cursed stadium in the NFL world will be hosting the 2026 World Cup final... however, I believe they're switching it to grass. Correct? They are. But it's still cursed.

Andy Reid will never retire because he has no hobbies except football and cheeseburgers

Andy Reid, who is not gonna retire. This is all he does. I'm trying to get Andy to play golf. I'm trying to get him to go hunting. He just won't do it. Andy Reid also has a bucket list... it's just eating in different countries. My prediction, they win the Super Bowl, he probably goes to France. Eats his way through France.

You must always defer the coin toss if you win it

Why would you not defer, why would you not get the ball back to, to start the second half? I just assumed that was like a, a cardinal fundamental rule. And then when you look at the stats... I think you should just defer every time.

Liberty Football's 2.96 GPA is actually good for a team GPA

Liberty Football. They tweeted ... 2.96 cumulative GPA. ... It's actually not terrible for a team. It's really good. ... football team. It's the old, 'I didn't play school'.

Nikola Jokic is the best player in the world

Yoic. Did you know that He leads the NBA in points, rebounds, and assists right now. Jesus. It's fucking insane what Yoic is doing. He's so good. I think, I feel like we're in the trap of not appreciating how great Yoic is. Yeah. He's the best player in the world.

The NBA In-Season Tournament is a success

My Cool Throne is the NBA in season tournament because it kind of rocks... It was an awesome crowd. The crowd was awesome... I was critical at first. It didn't make sense in the beginning, but now that it's more organized... I'm a fan.

Eagles vs. Chiefs on Monday Night Football will be the highest rated game of the season

I'm gonna say Eagles Chiefs Monday Night Football is going to be the highest rated game of the season moving forward. Ooh. Also there's a potential of Taylor appearing. In Prime time standalone. It has to be Super Bowl rematch.

There will be a massive tick population this year due to the mild winter

We had a very mild winter. There's a lot of ticks. The winter didn't kill the ticks. There's gonna be a lot of ticks. Tick-borne diseases are no joke. Be careful out there. Do tick checks. Get a buddy, get naked.

Five straight days of playoff football in January is the best schedule ever

College football playoff announced today 2024 and 2025. ... Semi-finals would be played on Thursday and Friday of super wild card weekend. ... Saturday, Sunday, Monday. ... Five straight days of playoff football.

The Celtics own the Sixers and it's frustrating

We would get smoked. The Celtics just fucking own us and it's so frustrating. I just fucking hate the Celtics so much.

Tom Brady should practice for the broadcasting booth with me

Tom Brady reportedly is starting to pursue a career in standup comedy... Tom, if you're watching this, you should be spending that time with me practicing in the booth. Let's make it happen.

The NFL should use the chip in the football to definitively judge goal line plays

The fact that there was just casually mentioned there's a chip in the football and they can actually see if it goes over the goal line... According to the chip in the football, the closest the ball got to the end zone was 0.6 yards from the goal line. What the fuck are we doing? We've been asking for the chip forever.

I will take Liver King back if he admits he used steroids and was just trying to recover from injury

If he just says like, yeah, guys, I'm 50 years old... I needed this stuff to like, you know, come back. Like if he basically does the, I was injured and I wanted to get back with the team real fast. Like, if he does that, I'll take him back. I'll be like, what? Fuck it, dude. Like at least you're honest now.

The rats run New York City, not the humans

I think the rats run the city. If you have to say that [the rats don't run the city], I think the rats run the city.

Neon is officially back this summer

I feel like this summer neon is back. The eighties are coming back. Like for real, it's going to be crazy... I do think that this is the summer where everyone's like, man, finally COVID is over. We're going to do neon now. And look, it's been enough time where you can look at us. Neon looks good if you have a tan, it just does.

Zach Wilson is looking extra crispy in Jets training camp

Cool throne, Zach Wilson has been having great training camp. He went for nine 11 on 11 drills. So we're saying that he's looking extra crispy in camp. It's a pretty serious.

Indianapolis is the best city for the NFL Combine and it should never move

It is the best city for it. We, they should never move it from Indy. It's perfectly set up for it.

EA Sports FIFA is dead because of the rebranding to EA Sports FC

EA Sports and FIFA are dead. 2023. It's been rebranded as EA Sports FC.