Takes

My Early Final Four: UConn, Florida, BYU, and Akron

I'm gonna go Yukon, Florida, BYU, Akron... I'm gonna take Akron to win it all.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems... This guy went to the practice field with a gause meter. It read 8.5 plus milligauss.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

The 49ers are statistically the most injured team in the NFL over the past decade since moving to Levi's stadium... Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts. ... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems. ... This guy is saying that the Niners are just getting bombarded with electric waves all day, which is fucking up their bodies.

The Chiefs should just quit for the season now that Patrick Mahomes is out with a torn ACL

There's never been a team that like deserves to quit more than the Chiefs. They've been playing so much football for the last five years... Patrick Mahomes just tore his ACL. If you're a Chiefs player, listen to this right now. Just fucking quit. Just quit.

Pardon My Take's video content will be exclusive to Netflix starting in January 2026

Major news. ... in 2026, January, we don't have the exact date, but we have come to a deal with Netflix. So, Pardon My Take is going to be on Netflix. ... the podcast video will be exclusively on Netflix. ... literally nothing is changing [for listeners].

The 'torch' has been passed to Drake May and it cannot be passed back to Josh Allen

The torch has been passed and that's it. It's over... Drake may has the torch and then it will go until we pass it to someone else... It can't go back.

The Italian race is essentially finished because they are too attracted to Latinas

He [Jersey Jerry] told me today that Italians were done in this country... because a lot of them are attracted to Latinas. And so then they have kids with Latinas and then there's no more Italians.

The Colts are the best team in football right now

The Colts who are the best team in football... Their offense is absolutely electric. They are like, they're just well-rounded all the way through.

Patrick Mahomes is officially washed after being under .500 for two days

Mahomes is washed. Washed. These two days under 500 he's washed.

The 2024 Eagles are the worst 20-1 team in NFL history

Is this Eagle's team the worst 20 and one team in their last 21 games of all time... every, literally every negative thing that I've said about the Eagles this year has come from a place of extreme jealousy and also trying to stir Max up... I think the Eagles, yeah, they're the worst.

The Patrick Mahomes 'conversation' will be triggered if the Chiefs lose badly to the Ravens

At what point do we have to say there's maybe Mahomes isn't what he was... This is the conversation game. If they lose and it's close, then it's not the time for the conversation. Right. But we will have a definitive answer after this game.

The Buffalo Bills are going to go undefeated and win the Super Bowl

Bills have the easiest schedule now. Undefeated. Would it, wouldn't it be funny if the bills went undefeated? It's week one. I'm not gonna overreact, but I think that the Buffalo Bills are gonna go undefeated. Win the Super Bowl.

The Packers are the best team in the NFL by far and will win the Super Bowl

I'm gonna take the Packers in this game. The Packers are the best team in the NFL. I don't even think it's close. Not close. They're gonna win the Super Bowl.

Patrick Mahomes might be washed

Mahomes might be washed. He just discussed, he didn't play great at the end of the year. They choked in the Super Bowl.

Jaden Daniels is the fifth best quarterback in the NFL

I watched an hour of his highlights in the 4th of July... I think he's five. I think just, yeah, he's five.

Jalen Brunson is the next 'Can't Win The Big One' guy in the NBA

How about this one? Hank, you're gonna like this one. Jalen Brunson. Mm. Does that do anything for you? Yeah. Not clutch at all... I'm trying to predict where the narratives are gonna go next... The Knicks were built to beat the Celtics this year.

The Raiders will beat the Chiefs on Black Friday because 'the NFL doesn't make sense'

This might be my, 'the NFL doesn't make sense' game. I'm taking the money line. I don't feel confident in them winning. I am going to do it because I want the rush of being right about something... Raiders money line.

Aaron Rodgers is currently top five in every major passing statistical category

Aaron Rodgers still top five in everything right now... touchdowns top five... yards top five... [I must have looked at it before they updated it].

Jerry Jones should trade Micah Parsons to reload on draft picks

If I were Jerry Jones, reload on draft picks and trade Micah Parsons. You have to pay him and your problem right now is it seems like you have lack of depth going forward. What's gonna happen yet? You locked up Dak, you locked up CD, you're gonna have to pay Micah Parsons. You could probably get a lot for him.

Mike Tomlin is starting Russell Wilson against the Jets so he can fail and Tomlin can go back to Justin Fields

Mike Tomlin, a man of his word, is like, I know I have a better chance with Justin Fields, but I promised Russell Wilson he's the starter. ... He's gonna throw him out against the Jets to basically have him suck. And then he is gonna be like, 'see you guys told me that I need to start Russell Wilson. I told Russell Wilson it wasn't his job to lose. He sucks. Justin Fields.'

The Eagles' coaching staff is currently talentless and should just consist of coordinators with no head coach

[The Eagles] are a player led team. It's true. Just coordinators. No head coach. [The coaches] are not talented right now... talent's not something you can just, like, it doesn't go up and down. No. Yeah, it's not a hot and cold thing.

Washington will win the Big 10

Washington Huskies plus 8,000... I'm gonna go with the conference, our local conference. The big 10, little long shot.

I bet $10,000 that I can dunk a men's basketball on a 10-foot rim by the end of 2024

I'll bet you $10,000. You can't do it by the end of the year. Yeah, I'll match... Men's basketball, 10 foot rim... Deal, deal, deal... I'm due to follow up on one of these things and make it happen.

I am betting $5,000 on a Kyle Juszczyk anytime touchdown and Marquez Valdes-Scantling first touchdown parlay to win $1 million

I'm gonna parlay [Kyle] Juszczyk anytime touchdown with Marquez Valdes-Scantling first touchdown. Five grand to win $1 million. Done.

Connor Stallions has been working for the Baltimore Ravens since resigning from Michigan

Do you think that there's any chance at all that Connor Stallions has been working for the Ravens since he resigned from Michigan? I think it's not a 0% chance... I'm just gonna float it out there with absolutely no backing behind it. Besides the fact that McDonald's used to coach at Michigan. And Connor Stallions is a hardball guy for life.

The Bills are incapable of winning a Super Bowl under Sean McDermott after the 9/11 motivational speech revelation

Everything I said about the bills winning the super Bowl I'm throwing out... I'm gonna say you can't win a super Bowl if, if that happened. I'm gonna agree with that. I'm gonna go, you know what? So everything we said, we we're no more glazing... Glaze has been removed on this podcast.

The Eagles' Kelly Green jerseys are worth an extra seven points on the field

I've done the computer models, everything that I, I've, I've put into the numbers, crunched 'em all. I think that Kelly Green Jerseys are worth seven points. Seven Points.

Julio Jones is currently 'Prime Julio Jones' again

I'm also fully back on Julio Jones... He's Prime Julio Jones... He said he is gonna dominate and if he says he's gonna dominate, then [I'm in].

The Lions offense is about to explode and I'm calling a 45-point performance this week

I think the Lion's offense is about to explode. I think we're on explode Watch. I'm gonna call a 45 burger this week. I'm taking it.

The Bears vs. Bucs game is the biggest in Bears franchise history

I was premature. The Bears going to Tampa Bay is the biggest game in Bears franchise history. I'll just say that right now. I was a week early on my prediction of biggest game in Bears franchise history. This is a must win.

PFT and I are doing a tattoo bet on the Bears vs. Commanders Week 5 game

Pft, the bears and commanders play week five Thursday night football. ... We should make it a tattoo bet. ... Tattoo bet for week five. Thursday night football. ... I'm in.

Anthony Richardson is a 'follower' because he copied Will Levis hitting the ceiling at his pro day

Anthony Richardson did it and said that he hit the roof on purpose because Will Levis did it. This is my red flag. I want my quarterback to be a leader, not a follower. Like he was copying someone else. He was like following the lead.

Hendon Hooker will be the best quarterback of the 2023 draft class

Hendon Hooker wins... I think Hendon Hooker has the best combination of falling to a bad spot and having good enough talent to like make it in the long run.

Mark Davis will sign Tom Brady and include a clause requiring them to hang out together once a month

Mark Davis would sign Brady and there would be a clause in his contract... you have to hang out with me once a month. Like we have to go out together once a month.

JJ Watt is a better football player than he is a person

He was a much better player? Yes. He was like one of the top three all-time players... He has three defensive player of the year awards Only one man of the year award. So I'd say he's a better, the stats don't lie. He's a better player than he is a person.

I will give Billy $10,000 if the Buccaneers beat the Cardinals 14 or 15 to 12 exactly

I will give you $10,000 if that's what happens in this case... 14 or 15 to 12 Bucks. Beat the Cardinals. Yes. For $20,000. Christmas.

Weather is not real and the Bills vs. Dolphins game will go over the total

Hank weather isn't real. Also over 44... This is going way over. I'm a big believer in, it's one thing I know... Saturday night. Great game weather doesn't matter. This is going way over.

Mike White's ceiling is Tom Brady

So I like Mike. His ceiling is Tom Brady. I said this when he got his ceiling is Tom Brady.

Logan Thomas will score two touchdowns and the Commanders will have two special teams touchdowns against the Falcons

Logan Thomas is gonna feast on the subpar linebackers from the Atlanta Falcons. Probably gonna have, probably gonna have two kick returns for touchdowns. Oh no. I think our special teams is gonna be locked and loaded... Logan Thomas probably at least two touchdowns, special teams, at least two touchdowns.

The 2022 World Cup will be canceled or moved from Qatar before it finishes

I don't think the World Cup's gonna finish. I think it's gonna get canceled for some reason... I don't think it's gonna be finished in Qatar... It sounds like the literal fire fest. I'm getting Fyre Fest vibes.

Zach Wilson is 'overqualified' for the NFL and that's why he struggles

The guy is so capable of throwing absolute bombs and dimes that when he can't and has to make the start decision and not make a gigantic play... he's just so good... he's overqualified for his job. Seriously. It's like, it's like he's so talented that he doesn't like other, I got it. Like people with less talented arms work on being game managers.

Malik Willis is a combination of Lamar Jackson and Josh Allen

Malik Willis has been said to be, in my opinion, a combination of Lamar Jackson and Josh Allen. This is what the people are saying. If you look at Malik's throws from the combine, insane, absolutely crazy type stuff.

The Detroit Lions will beat the Los Angeles Rams outright

I think they're going to win this one outright. The Detroit Lions... [I am] sprinkling the shit out of the Moneyline. Heavy sprinkle. Heavy pour on the moneyline and Salt Bae on the moneyline.

I will cut off the tip of my pinky if the Houston Texans win the Super Bowl this year

If the Houston Texans win the Super Bowl this year, I will cut off from the nail up tip of my pinky left hand. It's on.

Aliens come from the center of the Earth, not outer space

Honestly, there's aliens of courting the government but I don't think the aliens come from outer space. I actually think that they come from within the center of the Earth... they are beings at the center of the earth that are coming to the surface.

Wearing a 'PMT Karate Black Belt' shirt is the ultimate life hack to avoid fights

I have an idea it dawned on me... we are going to start PMT karate and sell the shirt... you according to us. We are the heads of PMT. Karate you listening right now. You have a black belt. Yeah, so you are not stealing Valor... No one will fight you. That's the whole point of wearing the shirt.

I might get an NFL call-up as a 'camp leg' based on my XFL kicking film

I'm also thinking that there's an outside chance that with what I've put on film already and what I will continue to put on film, maybe I get a call for a training camp for an NFL team. Maybe I'm a camp leg... They need camp legs. I'm not worse than Vinatieri. I'm a better kicker than the greatest kicker of all time.

Alex Ovechkin is officially better than Wayne Gretzky now that he has 700 goals

Ovi just scored his 700th goal. ... I'm predicting. I'm going to be at the Caps game on Saturday night. I'm going to see him score two more goals. ... And then it's going to happen. Now he's officially better than Wayne Gretzky.

The Bears vs. Rams Sunday Night Football game will have at least eight combined touchdowns

Sunday Night Bears Rams absolute slugfest the quarterbacks would be going back and forth touchdown touchdown lighting it up minimum eight touchdowns combined between them.

Trent Richardson's Pro Football Hall of Fame comeback starts this weekend in the AAF

Hall of Fame comeback starts this weekend for Trent Richardson.