Takes

Jared Stidham might have a vestigial tail that acts as a biological gyroscope for his balance

J Stidham might have a tail. An actual tail. ... Everybody was thinking that J Stidham might have a tail. ... if you have a tail, it helps you balance. It acts like a stabilizer. When you're twisting, when you're throwing, it's a biological gyroscope.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems... This guy went to the practice field with a gause meter. It read 8.5 plus milligauss.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

The 49ers are statistically the most injured team in the NFL over the past decade since moving to Levi's stadium... Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts. ... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems. ... This guy is saying that the Niners are just getting bombarded with electric waves all day, which is fucking up their bodies.

The 'torch' has been passed to Drake May and it cannot be passed back to Josh Allen

The torch has been passed and that's it. It's over... Drake may has the torch and then it will go until we pass it to someone else... It can't go back.

The Colts are the best team in football right now

The Colts who are the best team in football... Their offense is absolutely electric. They are like, they're just well-rounded all the way through.

Patrick Mahomes is officially washed

Mahomes is washed. Washed. These two days under 500 he's washed.

The 2024 Eagles are the worst 20-1 team in NFL history

Is this Eagle's team the worst 20 and one team in their last 21 games of all time... every, literally every negative thing that I've said about the Eagles this year has come from a place of extreme jealousy and also trying to stir Max up... I think the Eagles, yeah, they're the worst.

The Buffalo Bills are going to go undefeated and win the Super Bowl

Bills have the easiest schedule now. Undefeated. Would it, wouldn't it be funny if the bills went undefeated? It's week one. I'm not gonna overreact, but I think that the Buffalo Bills are gonna go undefeated. Win the Super Bowl.

The Packers are the best team in the NFL by far and will win the Super Bowl

I'm gonna take the Packers in this game. The Packers are the best team in the NFL. I don't even think it's close. Not close. They're gonna win the Super Bowl... If the Packers somehow don't win the Super Bowl, which it's would be pretty crazy. If they don't, I will be first in line saying I was wrong.

Patrick Mahomes might be washed

Mahomes might be washed. He just discussed, he didn't play great at the end of the year. They choked in the Super Bowl.

Jaden Daniels is the fifth best quarterback in the NFL

I watched an hour of his highlights in the 4th of July... I think he's five. I think just, yeah, he's five.

Jalen Brunson is the next 'Can't Win The Big One' guy in the NBA

How about this one? Hank, you're gonna like this one. Jalen Brunson. Mm. Does that do anything for you? Yeah. Not clutch at all... I'm trying to predict where the narratives are gonna go next... The Knicks were built to beat the Celtics this year.

Aaron Rodgers is currently top five in every major passing statistical category

Aaron Rodgers still top five in everything right now... touchdowns top five... yards top five... [I must have looked at it before they updated it].

Jerry Jones should trade Micah Parsons to reload on draft picks

If I were Jerry Jones, reload on draft picks and trade Micah Parsons. You have to pay him and your problem right now is it seems like you have lack of depth going forward. What's gonna happen yet? You locked up Dak, you locked up CD, you're gonna have to pay Micah Parsons. You could probably get a lot for him.

Washington will win the Big 10

Washington Huskies plus 8,000... I'm gonna go with the conference, our local conference. The big 10, little long shot.

I am betting $5,000 on a Kyle Juszczyk anytime touchdown and Marquez Valdes-Scantling first touchdown parlay to win $1 million

I'm gonna parlay [Kyle] Juszczyk anytime touchdown with Marquez Valdes-Scantling first touchdown. Five grand to win $1 million. Done.

Connor Stallions has been working for the Baltimore Ravens since resigning from Michigan

Do you think that there's any chance at all that Connor Stallions has been working for the Ravens since he resigned from Michigan? I think it's not a 0% chance... I'm just gonna float it out there with absolutely no backing behind it. Besides the fact that McDonald's used to coach at Michigan. And Connor Stallions is a hardball guy for life.

Sam Howell is officially an elite NFL quarterback.

I might've just jumped past the whole Is he the guy conversation? I'm ready to ask if he's elite. Because there's as many insult graphics have been going around. There's a lot of complimentary graphics going around about Sam Howell. He's first in big time throws.

Julio Jones is currently 'Prime Julio Jones' again

I'm also fully back on Julio Jones... He's Prime Julio Jones... He said he is gonna dominate and if he says he's gonna dominate, then [I'm in].

The Bears vs. Bucs game is the biggest in Bears franchise history

I was premature. The Bears going to Tampa Bay is the biggest game in Bears franchise history. I'll just say that right now. I was a week early on my prediction of biggest game in Bears franchise history. This is a must win.

Anthony Richardson is a 'follower' because he copied Will Levis hitting the ceiling at his pro day

Anthony Richardson did it and said that he hit the roof on purpose because Will Levis did it. This is my red flag. I want my quarterback to be a leader, not a follower. Like he was copying someone else. He was like following the lead.

Hendon Hooker will be the best quarterback of the 2023 draft class

Hendon Hooker wins... I think Hendon Hooker has the best combination of falling to a bad spot and having good enough talent to like make it in the long run.

JJ Watt is a better football player than he is a person

He was a much better player? Yes. He was like one of the top three all-time players... He has three defensive player of the year awards Only one man of the year award. So I'd say he's a better, the stats don't lie. He's a better player than he is a person.

I will give Billy $10,000 if the Buccaneers beat the Cardinals 14-12 exactly

I will give you $10,000 if that's what happens in this case... 14 or 15 to 12 Bucks. Beat the Cardinals. Yes. For $20,000. Christmas.

Weather is not real and the Bills vs. Dolphins game will go over the total

Hank weather isn't real. Also over 44... This is going way over. I'm a big believer in, it's one thing I know... Saturday night. Great game weather doesn't matter. This is going way over.

Mike White's ceiling is Tom Brady

So I like Mike. His ceiling is Tom Brady. I said this when he got his ceiling is Tom Brady.

Zach Wilson is 'overqualified' for the NFL and that's why he struggles

The guy is so capable of throwing absolute bombs and dimes that when he can't and has to make the start decision and not make a gigantic play... he's so talented that he doesn't like other... people with less talented arms work on being game managers. They can't do what he does. He's almost, they need to create a new football league, a better football league that he could play in because he's too good for the NFL.

Malik Willis is a hybrid of Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson

I think Malik Willis is going to have a really good NFL career... I think he's what they advertise him as he's Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson hybrid.

Malik Willis is a combination of Lamar Jackson and Josh Allen

Malik Willis has been said to be, in my opinion, a combination of Lamar Jackson and Josh Allen. This is what the people are saying. If you look at Malik's throws from the combine, insane, absolutely crazy type stuff.

NFL teams should sit their starting quarterback when playing against Aaron Donald to avoid injury.

Anytime a team plays Aaron Donald, they should sit their starting quarterback.

I will cut off the tip of my pinky if the Houston Texans win the Super Bowl this year

If the Houston Texans win the Super Bowl this year, I will cut off from the nail up tip of my pinky left hand. It's on.

Aliens come from the center of the Earth, not outer space

Honestly, there's aliens of courting the government but I don't think the aliens come from outer space. I actually think that they come from within the center of the Earth... they are beings at the center of the earth that are coming to the surface.

Wearing a 'PMT Karate Black Belt' shirt is the ultimate life hack to avoid fights

I have an idea it dawned on me... we are going to start PMT karate and sell the shirt... you according to us. We are the heads of PMT. Karate you listening right now. You have a black belt. Yeah, so you are not stealing Valor... No one will fight you. That's the whole point of wearing the shirt.

I might get an NFL call-up as a 'camp leg' based on my XFL kicking film

I'm also thinking that there's an outside chance that with what I've put on film already and what I will continue to put on film, maybe I get a call for a training camp for an NFL team. Maybe I'm a camp leg... They need camp legs. I'm not worse than Vinatieri. I'm a better kicker than the greatest kicker of all time.

The Falcons will win outright against the Saints

My platinum six star under... Falcons are going to be scoring a lot. They're going to win the game.

The Panthers should cut Cam Newton if they lose to the Browns

Panthers, by the way... if you lose this, maybe cut Cam Newton. Cut him. Straight up cut him.

NFL punts into the end zone should be worth two points if the punter weighs over 300 pounds

If you should have a guy who's over 300 pounds punting the ball and if they can punt it into the end zone, it's worth two points no matter where you are on the field.

Adam Thielen is better than Calvin Johnson

Adam Thielen's better than Calvin Johnson. True. Fact. His best record just got broken by Adam Thielen, bro.

I am not a Patrick Mahomes guy

I want to be on the record that I am not a Mahomes guy. Okay. Put me on the record. Put me in the history books.

The US will win the 2018 World Cup

I'm going with the U.S... They could still come back. You never count the U.S. out until they're totally out.

The Warriors will beat the Cavs in the Finals in only three games

I'm going Cavs-Warriors again, and the Warriors win in three games.

Bob Huggins will have a heart attack in the finals because of the desert heat

Bob Huggins is going to have a heart attack during the game or at the end of the game. Leave it all out on the court, and they're going to win... And it's in the desert, too. Way too hot for Huggie Bear.