Takes

I would un-retire and return to the Packers if they offered $1 million per game

If the Green Bay Packers called you up tomorrow and said, we'll give you a million dollars a game. Come back for the rest of the season. You doing it? Yeah, yeah, I'm doing that. I am un-retiring, yeah. If they're doing that, I'm back.

Jay Cutler will always leave fans wanting more with flashes of greatness before he inevitably self-implodes.

That's the cool thing about Cutler as a Packers fan and player. It was like he's going to leave you like – he's going to leave those Bears fans wanting more and like, oh, look at this. Look at this flash of greatness. And then he'll totally just self-implode.

Wilton Speight choked against Ohio State and is more to blame for the loss than the officiating.

Speight kind of blew it... He was choking about every series. He's tripping on his own feet, he's fumbling, he's throwing picks... I'm not on board with the whole officiating thing. I think that's ridiculous.

Greg Schiano failed as an NFL head coach because he focused too much on minor details

I think his biggest downfall as a head coach was he focused on way too many details. You kind of lost sight of the big picture. I was focused on, okay, if we recover a fumble, this is how my hands have to be and I need to tuck it into my body at a 90 degree angle. It was so many little details and you were on pins and needles.

Johnny Manziel needs to get sued or arrested every few months just to let us know he's alive

Johnny Manziel is being sued because apparently he broke some bartender's nose. Good to know Johnny Manziel is still alive. We need him to get sued or arrested every few months to let us know that he's alive.

RGIII is the most gullible person in sports and is the sucker in every room.

RGIII, I mean, he's basically just the sucker in every room. If you're in a room with RGIII, you're good. You're not the sucker... He would play three-card monte until the sun went down. He'd be Instagramming and laughing every time he lost.

A J.J. Watt jersey is the least intimidating jersey an NFL fan can wear.

The least intimidating jersey has to be a J.J. Watt jersey.

Voters are more likely to support political change when their local NFL team is losing

When your football team is good, you're more likely to vote for an incumbent. And when your football team's bad, you're more likely to vote for a new guy. The Jaguars and Dolphins sucked up until Election Day. Wisconsin voted Trump. Steelers sucked at the start of the year, Pennsylvania voted Trump. Carolina Panthers suck, North Carolina voted for Trump too.

Jeff Fisher has done a model job providing leadership and consistency for the Rams despite his losing record.

LA Rams COO Kevin Demoff said it's unfair to judge head coach Jeff Fisher on record. Kings stay Kings. Everybody will want to judge Jeff through the prism of just the record, but that's totally unfair... To provide leadership and consistency, he's done a model job.

The Rams will announce an extension for Jeff Fisher immediately following their next win

Right now, after the Rams' next win, they're going to announce the extension. He's getting out in front of the story right now, laying a nice mattress down so that nobody's shocked. Next win of the Rams, they're going to use that as the premise to announce an extension.

The NFL should award one point for a kickoff that goes through the uprights

John Harbaugh wants to make the kickoff worth one point if his kicker can kick it through the uprights. I like this rule though. We need more kickers. I've been saying for years that if you hit the upright, it should be worth extra.

Matt Barkley is a terrible quarterback

Let's face it folks, Matt Charles Barkley, the round mound of intentional ground, is terrible. Just terrible. Terrible, terrible. Terrible, terrible, terrible.

The Dallas Cowboys are the best team that sucks in the NFL

Dallas is still maybe the best team in the NFL, which is insane. They're the best team that sucks. In the NFL. They're the suckiest best teams, too.

The Super Bowl will feature some combination of the Patriots, Cowboys, or Seahawks

And it sucks to say this, but it's going to be the Patriots and the Cowboys or the Seahawks. Slash Seahawks, yeah. So some combination of that, that's where we're going to be in Houston.

Ed Orgeron is officially the greatest interim coach of all time

Is he officially the greatest interim coach of all time? His last head coaching stint at Ole Miss, where he went 10-25... he's won more games as an interim coach than a head coach.

The punt safety is the best play in football

I love the punch [punt] safety, by the way. Love it. The punch safety is probably my favorite play in football. And Harbaugh used it.

John Gruden is the ultimate coaching search leverage tool to help candidates negotiate higher salaries

John Gruden is like the fail-proof coaching rumor. When a team or a college can't leverage their coaching search against anyone, they're like, well, John Gruden's interested... He's always going to come back if a team needs him to negotiate against someone else.

Ohio State is not a lock for the College Football Playoff if Penn State wins the Big Ten

If Penn State beats Wisconsin... I think you're looking at either two Big Ten teams in or you're looking at Penn State in and Ohio State out. Now, that's very, like, no one agrees with me on this... Kirk Herbstreit, those guys are saying, no, they're saying, you know, Ohio State's a lock... And I don't know how they can comfortably say that.

Based on the eye test, USC is one of the four best teams in the country

If you just look at teams, eye test, who's playing as good as anybody, USC is in the top four. And they're all like, what about September? It matters. But what about any losses?

The average lifespan of an NFL player is longer than an average American

The average lifespan of an NFL player is longer than an average American. No, even an average American. Like, it's longer. They live longer, healthier lives than an average American. CTE or not.

Playing football builds character in kids that other activities cannot replicate

People that play the game of football, I feel like it builds character in them that a lot of other activities don't build the types of character. [Big Cat: The Xbox and the millennial.]

College players should be allowed to transfer without penalty if their coach leaves

A quick fix for the NCAA for me to make things fairer for the players is to let them transfer if their coach goes they should be able to go too let them go i agree with that

Tom Herman will win a conference championship before Ed Orgeron

Who wins a conference championship first? Tom Herman? Coach O? Oh, I think Tom Herman. Because Coach O is – I need to see who he's going to bring in to run his offense... But the road that Tom Herman has to take is going to be so much easier in the Big 12.

Texas will be the favorite to win the Big 12 next season

I think Texas might be the favorite next year to win the Big 12. I know it's crazy to think that, but Oklahoma's going to lose Baker Mayfield. What are they going to do? But I think Tom Herman might be the pick to win the Big 12 next year.

The yellow first down line on TV is not an official line

People forget that the yellow line on the field isn't official. So people actually forgot that this weekend in the Ohio State-Michigan game. What? Great game by the refs forgot it as a matter of fact so they just said oh it looks like across the yellow line first down first down

Fox has a much better Thanksgiving broadcast than CBS because they use holiday graphics

CBS cheated us on that. I don't know if you saw it. But it came back. They didn't have it, and then Fox was like a bukkake of leaves on my face. Leaves and gourds just dripping... I actually got mad on Thanksgiving Day when I turned on the Lions game and it was just a regular scoreboard. How the fuck am I supposed to know it's a holiday if it's a regular scoreboard?

Roger Goodell's failure to suspend Aaron Hernandez is encouraging other players to mimic him

Players are starting to do the Aaron Hernandez crack the safe money toss touchdown celebration. I have. So stay woke. Roger Goodell in his negligence and failing to suspend Aaron Hernandez despite being convicted of murder... he's emboldened the players to mimic Aaron Hernandez. I wouldn't be surprised if there were some more murders.

The 2016 Big Ten Championship game is rigged for Wisconsin to win

The Big Ten titles game is going to be rigged in favor of Wisconsin this time. Because last time, the 59-0 Ohio State. That was rigged. Wisconsin. Gary Anderson was fired recently. Left right away. It all makes sense.

The 2016 Detroit Lions are a 'Haley's Comet' team that will likely get their asses kicked on Thanksgiving

Detroit, they're actually leading their division, and they're playing on Thanksgiving. I'm so used to watching shitty Lions teams. This is like Haley's Comet. It happens once every 75 years where you have a good Detroit team playing. You know what that means, though. They're going to get their asses kicked off.

NFL games in Mexico are much more electric than games in England

Mexico. I actually, that was an electric game. It was the exact opposite of football in England. England is so fucking boring. Everyone looks like it's a chore to be there... Mexico. They had the shot of the barbed wire. It felt like the Thunderdome.

I'm taking the Lions to beat the Vikings on Thanksgiving

I'm going to take the Lions because I took the Vikings on the Pick'em podcast. That's how you keep yourself even there.

I'm taking the Steelers to beat the Colts on Thanksgiving

I got the Vikings, I got the R-words, and I have the Steelers.

The next Texas head coach is already on the hot seat

My hot seat, the next Texas coach. Just throw him on the hot seat right away. Because guess what? Texas winning culture. Haven't won in a while.

The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade is the most overrated thing in the world

Macy's Thanksgiving Parade is the most overrated thing in the entire world. Even more overrated than the show Friends. It is the worst. I hate it.

Thanksgiving should be a full holiday, not just a meal as Will Muschamp suggests

Will Muschamp came out and said for South Carolina, Thanksgiving's a meal, not a day. We're going to practice in the morning... I also totally disagree with that. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, and it is fully worth having a full day for.

The loss to Kansas is the definitive end for Charlie Strong at Texas

I want to do basically what I think is the dagger in Charlie Strong's contract and job there in Texas... Kansas, the dagger in Charlie Strong's heart. Can you believe it? A new coach is now going to be at Texas and at LSU.

Mississippi State doesn't need to fire Dan Mullen, but the assistant coaches must be evaluated

If we do make a change, I don't think it needs to be Coach Mullen... I don't think we need to go to the extreme of getting rid of him but I think the assistant coaches need to look... he needs to take a hard look in the mirror.

The Rangers' hazing incident where a teammate was 'jerked off' is just standard locker room talk

I know that a lot of people are like, wow, that's horrific, but guess what? That's locker room talk. That's guys just jerking each other off. What else are you supposed to do? How am I supposed to know that you have my back when we're playing a baseball game if I've never jerked you off?

If the NCAA vacates Notre Dame's wins, they should also vacate Brian Kelly's history of killing a kid

If they vacated all these wins, then Brian Kelly never killed that kid. Goes both ways, right? If you're going to take away the good stuff, you've got to take away the bad stuff. Just be consistent.

J.J. Watt’s Players' Tribune article is basically erotic fan fiction he wrote about himself

One was wearing a 99 jersey with my name on the back, and another was wearing shoes with my logo on them... That was some fucking fan fiction erotic art shit for J.J. Watt. He hired a J.J. Watt mega fan to write that passage.

J.J. Watt released the first-ever non-retirement announcement for a retirement nobody expected

J.J. Watt just had the first ever non-retirement announcement. No one was wondering if he was retiring. But he's like, hey, guys, if any of you are wondering, yeah, I'm not retiring.

I officially called the Browns being mathematically eliminated from the playoffs back in August

I actually broke that news back in August. The second they announced RG3 as their starting quarterback... I said, okay, they've just clinched last place in the AFC. They've clinched the first draft pick, and they're mathematically eliminated right now.

I'm jumping on the Cowboys train and betting on them for Thanksgiving, which means they'll probably lose

How long am I going to keep doubting the Dallas Cowboys? They're now nine and one against the spread... I'm going to bet on them Thanksgiving Day. And they're going to get, I don't know if they'll lose, but they're not going to cover the spread.

Dak Prescott picking up his Gatorade cup proves he is a classy young man

How about Dak Prescott showing his leadership by picking up the cup of Gatorade that he tried to throw away? It's just a class act, a precocious, classy young man.

Russell Wilson is a bizarre human being who would be in a mental institution if he weren't an athlete

The person who woke him up every hour and a half, the voodoo people, the hypnotist, the concussion water, the strength coach... he's just a bizarre human being... if he wasn't an exceptional athlete and he did all this shit, he would probably be in a mental institution.

Nick Saban would actually kill a reporter on camera if it didn't stop him from coaching the next week

Nick Saban actually would kill a reporter, I think, on camera. If he could still coach next week, if he could coach in the Iron Bowl, even though he killed a reporter at halftime, he would do it.

Ben McAdoo is a watered-down fraud trying too hard to sound like a real football guy

Ben McAdoo seems like he's trying real hard as a first-year head coach to be a football guy. I think he's overextending himself a little bit. He sounds like a fraud. He's like a watered-down football guy. If this was like Coughlin doing this, then I would absolutely accept this is a football guy.

Bill Belichick 100% pays attention to metrics but acts like he doesn't for his brand

He absolutely pays attention to metrics. 100% he does, but he acts like he doesn't. So he's playing a double mind game... he's like I'm going to make them think that I'm even more of a football guy than I really am when behind the scenes I've got my spreadsheets set out.

It is a breath of fresh air for a Penn State coach like James Franklin to keep things in-house

I think it's a good breath of fresh air for a Penn State coach to keep things in-house. What happens in the locker room stays in the locker room. You don't need to be bringing that home.

Snow football is the key to driving NFL ratings back up

I think that this is absolutely the key to driving ratings back up is get a couple snow games in people will watch snow football all day.