Takes

I could still hit 4 home runs in a full MLB season today

Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do too... maybe I do have a chance. I would just need a couple ambulances. 'Cause after the games, I'm gonna have to like going to take care of my body.

Yamamoto is the first pitcher to win 3 World Series games since Randy Johnson in 2001

Yamamoto is not human. ... Denny comes back and pitches game six and then he comes back and wins game seven. It's insane. ... Randy Johnson in 2001, Mickey Lolich in 1968, Bob Gibson in 1967 and Lou Burdette in 1957. ... He won three games in the World Series, hadn't been done since I think Randy Johnson.

Aroldis Chapman is officially unhittable again

I didn't know Aroldis Chapman was just like Unhittable again. ... He's like truly unhittable again. ... 0.33 ERA over his last 30 appearances. That's insane.

The Milwaukee Brewers never lose

The brewers do just never lose. I said it on Wednesday and they still haven't lost. They don't lose. They never lose. It's crazy. This team never loses.

Getting hit by a pitch only hurts for about thirty seconds to a minute

My son looks at me, he goes, do you think that hurt? I was like, yeah, probably hurt. But it goes away after, you know, 30 seconds or a minute.

I had no intention of hurting Ruben Tejada during the 2015 NLDS slide

There was zero intention to fuck anybody up on that play... Obviously the outcome was different than other slides that I've had. I didn't anticipate actually hitting him nearly as hard as I did... I had no intention of hurting him whatsoever.

The Home Run Derby's current timing format is too exhausting for players

I don't think people appreciate how exhausting it is for the players to take that many swings that fast. So it's something we will talk about with ESPN regarding changing the format.

Fixing blackouts is at the top of Major League Baseball's priority list

Blackouts number one are at the top of my list in terms of things we need to deal with. Ideally where you would like to be is if you have a digital home for baseball, you can go there and buy what you want to buy.

The Cincinnati Reds have an illegally flat pitching mound to gain an advantage

Cincinnati's tough. That mound is so flat. I know they're supposed to have regulations on how high the mound is, but whatever they're doing, they're cheating for sure. Because it's way lower. Our mound at home feels like a mountain compared to Cincinnati.

Beards are causing baseball injuries because the face is connected to the elbow

My who's back is baseball injuries 'cause Garrett Cole's out for the year... Bad Tommy John. They should never change the rules about shaving your face. Like this, this would not have happened if he was clean shaven. That's true. That's your, your face. Your face is connected to your shoulder, to your elbow.

Pete Rose should be reinstated to MLB and the Hall of Fame because his 'lifetime' ban is technically over

It was a lifetime ban. Right. The operative word being life. Right. He's no longer alive. Right. He's dead. So the ban should have already been lifted.

The Yankees lost Juan Soto because they were disrespectful regarding family suites

The Yankees lost out on a generational talent just because they were disrespectful... The Yankees wouldn't budge on giving Juan Soto a suite in Yankee Stadium saying that if they don't do it for Derek Jeter, they're not gonna do it for him.

I can throw a fastball 64 miles per hour

What how fast do you think my fastest pitch was? [64]. Oh boy. That's gonna be a lot of home runs... I guess [my fastest was 64].

The 2024 White Sox are a historically bad anomaly, worse than the 1940s Phillies

The Chicago White Sox who are on a 20 game losing streak... If you just erased their 14 game losing streak and their 20 game losing streak, they would still have the worst winning percentage in baseball this year... Only two managers in baseball history have at least 200 games managed for the same team, and a winning percentage under 333... Pedro Grifol and a guy named Dr. James Prothro, who managed the Phillies during World War II.

August is the 'Month of Hate' in Major League Baseball

August is always the month of hate in the MLB. So no matter, you know, if your team's good or bad, you get, everybody wants to fucking kill each other. And it's literally, it's the month of hate just from being around each other for so much.

Baseball has the highest amount of celebratory ass slaps in sports

Baseball for sure. Football probably second... baseball, that's how they shake hands.

Playing in the MLB London Series means you won't win the World Series

Haven't every single team that's lost a London game has not won, gone on to win the World Series. I think that's a fact. That's a fact. Right. Playing in the London series means you won't win the World Series.

MLB will fix the uniform lettering and sweat-wicking issues by the 2025 season

There was a report that came out that basically said Nike fucked up the uniforms. We're working to fix 'em. We're gonna get the bigger names in the back of the jerseys and everything should be fixed at the latest, at the start of the 2025 season.

Shohei Ohtani to the Dodgers is not more impactful than Jackie Robinson

Ben Verlander... said that Shohei Ohtani to the Dodgers is the most important signing in Dodgers history... Jackie Robinson? ... Pretty impactful. The word impactful was really interesting to us. Most important, most impactful.

Shohei Ohtani's contract is actually a natural progression from Aaron Judge's, valued around $460 million in real dollars

This is a 450-460 million dollar contract because of inflation and interest... If you actually think about it, this is a natural progression of contracts. Shohei Ohtani signed for 10 years, 460 million. That's a natural progression from Aaron Judge's nine for 360.

Gary Sheffield had the most intimidating and unique sound off the bat in baseball

I coached third when Sheffield was with San Diego. This is back what, 93, 94. And oh my goodness, the sound of coming off his bat. It's just different. And you know, those guys, the elite players, you, you, you can tell when that ball's hit who, who's hitting sometimes.

The Paige Spiranac bobblehead night saved the Brewers' season

The Paige Spiranac Bobblehead completely turned around the Brewer's season... on June 16th, the Brewers hosted the Pirates... they were 34 and 34. They beat the Pirates that night... and they wound up winning the NL Central with a record of 92 and 70. And they were 58 and 36 after the Paige Spiranac Bobblehead night.

Hitting a home run foul is a sign that the batter will likely strike out later in that plate appearance

If anybody ever hits a foul homer during that bat, they're fucked the rest of that bat. ... There's three options from that point on: it's another homer, which is like a small percentage, or a punch out or a walk, and the punch out is the highest percentage there. ... You're like, 'Damn it, that was my one chance. I'm fucked.'

The Yankees treated Anthony Rizzo poorly by playing him through a concussion for two months

In the 53 games before this concussion, he had 11 home runs, was batting .304. In the 46 games since this concussion... he had one home run and was batting .172. It's just interesting the timing where it's after they're pretty much done for the season. They did my guy Rizzo wrong.

Aaron Judge is cheating and stealing signs again

My other hot seat was Aaron Judge got caught cheating, stealing signs again, Yankees back at it again.

Stan Musial invented the fist bump

I learned something the other day. I don't know if you guys heard this. Do you guys know who invented the fist bump? Stan Musial invented the fist bump. How crazy is that?

The New York Yankees were given juiced baseballs for Aaron Judge's home run chase

A report came out saying that the Yankees were beneficiaries of having juice balls all last year. The Yankees were getting juice balls. Asterisks on his home run record, on his AL home run record. I mean, Jake, how can you discount that? They were purposely giving the best balls in baseball to the New York Yankees last year.

Lance McCullers Jr. was tipping his pitches against the Phillies

Lance McCullers was tipping all of his pitches tonight. And you saw it from the start. Like Bryce [Harper], when he went yard, he told everybody in the Phillies dugout, he's like, This guy's tipping his pitches. A bunch of stuff went viral online where you could see like the high leg kick. You could see the back leg being straight and the Phillies hit all their home runs off sinkers curves, changeups things like that.

I don't believe Chris Sale actually fell off a bicycle

I just don't believe it. I was gonna say like, gut, just going off my gut right now until I see video evidence. I think he was like playing basketball. I think it was something else. Yeah, no I do. I do not believe because Chris Sale... he just is the king of weird injuries. So I, I don't, I don't really buy it.

MLB has been secretly switching to more 'lively' baseballs during specific games

I think they've like secretly been like switching in some good balls. Cause certain games, like on certain times, I don't want to say anything specific, but Or a lot of hard hit balls and they're going out of the park... off your bat... sometimes like there's balls that we hit and we're like, oh, that's gone. And then next thing you know, it's caught.

Robotic umpires are less accurate than human umpires

The biggest problem with this K-Zone system is it's not exactly accurate. ... They grade the umpires on a machine for home plate every game. ... We didn't have a single umpire—not one umpire—that scored under 95%. ... They already know [the robotic computer] misses 7% of the pitches. We don't have an umpire missing five.

I am officially retiring from professional baseball

Well, I haven't signed the papers, man, but I'm done. It's time for me to step away from the game at some point. The uniform goes to somebody else. And it's just my time really... yeah man, I'm done.

Ken Griffey Jr. is still the sixth highest paid player on the Reds

The reds are on my cool throne, because they're, if you look at their salary this year, they have a hall of Famer as their six highest played player... Ken Griffey Jr. So yeah, the reds are, anytime you get a guy who's been in the hall of fame and retired for like 15 years as your sixth highest paid player, he's getting paid like $4 million till 2024.

There are more complete-game one-hitters than no-hitters in MLB history

I'll bet that there's more. [Complete game one-hitters]. I'm not a math guy, but I'm rolling with math on this one.

Shohei Ohtani is the modern-day Babe Ruth

Shohei Ohtani is fucking electric. He throws one-on-one in the first inning, and then he hits a fucking ball... bomb in the bottom of the first... he's like the modern day Babe Ruth.

More than 80% of Major League pitchers doctor the baseball in some way

What percentage of non-athletics pitchers in general do you think are doctoring the ball in some way, shape, or form? I would say probably somewhere in the north of 80%... In terms of guys that just like that would use pine tar or something of that nature.

Tommy Pham is only alive because he has too much muscle to be killed by a knife

Doctors told Tommy Pham after he was stabbed that if he wasn't so muscular, he would maybe be dead or paralyzed, which is the greatest flex of all time. Being like, if I was a weak fucking scrawny bitch boy, I'd be dead. But instead, I'm an alpha male with a shitload of muscles so I can handle a stabbing.

The blood on Curt Schilling's sock in the 2004 ALCS was fake paint

My conspiracy is the Curt Schilling sock because there's actually some smoke to that. There's some evidence that the blood on the sock was not actually blood... I do think that it's a shitload of paint that got put back there to make Curt Schilling look like he was pitching his absolute balls off.

Jose Canseco is not a real fighter; I have seen him hide in the dugout during brawls

Jose is not a fighter. I see personally drill him. Drill him. And half of the team was in the middle of the field when we turned around. Jose is still in the dugout. Jose is not a fighter. Jose just wanted you to show him respect and love when he was playing.

Baseball was actually my best sport

I always feel like baseball is actually my best sport... if I really had focused on baseball, you know, out of high school, I was going to be a top pick out of high school... I never really got to fully blossom fully in my baseball career... out of high school and stuff that baseball was actually my best sport.

The Washington Nationals are still the current regular full-season World Series champions

I'd also like to say that the Washington Nationals are still current regular full season World Series champions that is for the record that I've gone to game seven. What the fuck? What happened?

Scott Boras effectively runs the MLB players' union

He [Scott Boras] can plead ignorance all he wants... he makes all sorts of ridiculous claims about... it doesn't matter which agency you're actually with, I run the union [MLBPA] anyways, you're going to have to deal with me.

MLB owners hide revenue by investing in ancillary businesses like hotels and RSNs

What each franchise does is somewhat of a secret... you have ancillary revenue streams that are being created that under the rules they do not them to be a part of Revenue sharing some investing in hotels and restaurants and casinos... I'll pay my team 75 million for that $300,000,000 right [for the RSN], I'll own the RSN and I'll keep that money at the RSN so I don't have to share with my other owners.

Lenny Dykstra's reputation is so bad that it is now a legal asset

Lenny Dykstra, it was ruled by an actual court of law in the United States that you cannot libel Lenny Dykstra because his reputation is already so bad that you can't make it worse... He shot the moon with his reputation. It's become so bad that it's actually an asset.

A-Rod used to buy three custom suits for every rookie on his team to teach them how to dress in the big leagues

A-Rod every year would buy every new player on the team, every rookie who was coming up, three new custom-made suits... he'd take them to his tailor, he'd buy them three suits and say 'this is how you have to dress, you're in the big leagues now kid.'

Tim Tebow is better at baseball than Michael Jordan was

Better than Jordan at baseball, yeah. Oh, the stats will bear me out.

The 2019 World Series is a 'Cuc Sweep' because the road team won every game

The first ever cook [cuc] sweep in the history of American Sports for games won on the road and the other man Stadium. Yep, The cuc Sweep has occurred.

MLB changed the baseballs for the playoffs to reduce home runs

The baseballs are not going as far in the playoffs. There's a measurable wind resistance factor that was not there during the regular season... What they're saying on Baseball Prospectus is that they change the balls before the playoffs. Raise the seams... Get everyone to tune in for the explosive regular season and then they kind of have a sense of guilt like we're ruining baseball.

Fastball torque is the primary cause of Tommy John surgeries

They just found out that fastballs are the main reason for all these Tommy John's now. It's actually not curveballs and sliders like they were talking about... They did this whole study on all these Tommy John's and they're saying it's fastball torque. So really I don't have to worry about that.

The Nationals are a better team without Bryce Harper

Listen, the Nats are a better team without Bryce Harper. That's a fact. It is a fact.