Takes

Czechoslovakia is the original home of goulash

They say the Czech Republic or Czechoslovakia originally is the home of goulash.

Chick-fil-A would beat Popeyes if they released an extra spicy chicken sandwich

Develop an extra spicy chicken sandwich. If you go to market with extra spicy, that'll take all the buzz off Popeyes.

The Popeyes spicy chicken sandwich is one of the best sandwiches ever

Unpopular opinion that Popeye's chicken sandwich is good. I'll die on that hill. No, it's really good. And I need to have another one.

Orange is the best Starburst flavor

I will go with orange. Best Starburst flavor, color of fire, Charmander.

The color of Taco Bell's Baja Blast is a top-tier shade of greenish-blue

I had a better way to describe it. It is. It's a good color. I had it written down. The color of Baja Blast. That's my last pick. Baja Blast greenish blue.

The Four Loko hard seltzer isn't real

I think that the Four Loko thing is fake. I'm very woke on this because there was no link to the product whatsoever. It was a Photoshop that Four Loko put out there... here's why I think it's fake is because if you're going to make something 14% alcohol, why not just make it 20?

Provolone is the best and most versatile sandwich cheese

I'm going to go with provolone. I love a good provolone on like a turkey sandwich. I think it's the best sandwich cheese. It's the most versatile sandwich cheese. It's not a great cheese on its own, but it's a great [sandwich topper].

Melted cheese is the ultimate cheese hack for any food

Any type of cheese, if you melt it on top of something, makes it instantly better. I will go with melted. Just melted.

Nacho cheese is better the more unrealistic and neon it looks

I'm going to go with nacho cheese... I love it the more unrealistic the cheese is. Like the more yellow, the like neon yellow color you get with stadium nachos. Love that shit... like the radioactive goo.

Goat cheese is 'chick cheese' and not for guys

Goat cheese? Are you kidding me? That's chick cheese, bro. I disagree. That's a big time chick cheese.

Restaurants should replace gumball machines with 'Tumball' machines filled with Tums

An idea that's just, instead of a gumball machine, just out in restaurants, have it just be filled with Tums... I would take one every single time, even if I didn't have heartburn, just like knowing you might get it later... Call it a Tumball machine.

Kombucha is likely a prank started on the West Coast to see if the rest of the country would fall for it

I'm convinced there's a list of things that just start on the West Coast as pranks to see if everyone else will do it. And [Kombucha] is one of them. They're like, we'll just start saying kombucha's good and watch these fucking idiots in the rest of the country. We'll just pay way too much for this shitty tea.

Junior Mints are S-tier because of their scarcity

The one thing I like about Junior Mints, I don't think you can get it everywhere... you go into even a liquor store, you can get a Snickers bar... it's just too easy to get. I like the fact you got to work a little for your Junior Mints.

Licorice is the best jelly bean to give to someone you hate

What are the best flavors of jelly beans to give to someone you hate? Oh, definitely licorice. Yep. You can have them all.

Poutine is not the national food of Canada

Poutine is not the national food of Canada. I have never had poutine before. Now suddenly everybody's Mr. Poutine. This is poutine. This side and the other thing.

Acai bowls are a scam that make you fat because they are basically just ice cream

I found out about them [Acai Bowls]. They're awesome. It's basically ice cream. But then I found out they make you fat... Turns out it basically is ice cream. They're labeled as superfood.

St. Louis pizza is just a saltine cracker with ketchup and American cheese

I learned something new about the St. Louis culinary tradition every year, whether it's their pizza, which my understanding is like saltine cracker with ketchup, and then like a lunchable cheddar... American cheese.

The Domino's Pizza Tracker is fake

My hot seat is the Domino's tracker... Some big J journalist, independent journalist, went in, did some research, and was like stalking, would put in an order, and would follow the restaurant, follow the driver, and make sure that the tracker was up to date. And it's not. No. He foiled it. He foiled Domino's.

I'm setting the over/under for Hank's In-N-Out patties this week at 12.5

The number of patties of In-N-Out that Hank eats this week, I'm putting at 12.5.

Tiramisu is an overrated dessert

The dessert is weird. It's tiramisu. Tiramisu is overrated, by the way.

I am canceling Orange Vanilla Coke and will never drink it because of the excessive advertising

Orange Vanilla Coke I saw seven million times, and I hate it. I will never drink an orange vanilla Coke. I am canceling orange vanilla Coke.

Wahlburgers makes bad burgers

But his burgers suck. I didn't like the burgers. It was just a bad experience. I went to one in Orlando. I was like, eh, that's not very good.

Boneless wings are just chicken nuggets

A boneless wing... It's a fun fact. They're not even wings... They're chicken nuggets.

Prime 47 is a better steakhouse than St. Elmo's in Indianapolis

Prime 47 versus St. Elmo's. I have Prime 47. I thought St. Elmo's is you go for the shrimp cocktail, but after that, the menu doesn't have a lot to offer.

San Antonio and Memphis are the best barbecue cities in the AAF

I think overall I have the best barbecue situation, San Antonio and Memphis [in the AAF].

Clemson being served fast food at the White House is awesome.

I just saw the plates full of Big Macs and Wendy's and pizza. I was like, this is fucking awesome. It looked like essentially being back in college and getting super high and being like, let's just order all the fast food. I'm fully in favor of this move.

A cold Filet-O-Fish is one of the most unappetizing things on Earth.

I can't think of too many things less appetizing than like a cold filet of fish. Yeah, excuse me, McFish. Don't put the filet of fish out there. That's a big time mistake.

Always buy an extra small fry to eat in the car so you don't dip into your large fry.

Pro tip for everyone out there... if you go to McDonald's, if you go to a drive-thru, the key is to get a large fry and then get a medium or small fry for just the car. Because you don't want to dip into your large fry when you get home.

The ultimate fast food meal is a Whataburger chicken biscuit with McDonald's fries and Whataburger spicy ketchup.

You go to Whataburger and you get your honey butter chicken biscuit. But you've got to time it right at 10:30, so you drive directly from Whataburger to the McDonald's and you get the McDonald's fries... McDonald's fries are so good, but you use the Whataburger ketchup. The spicy ketchup. The better ketchup.

The best way to deep fry a turkey is to make sure it is completely frozen

The best way to prepare a turkey, in my opinion, is by deep frying it... If you deep fry it, make sure that it's completely frozen... A lot of people burn their house down every year, so make sure it's totally frozen. And then drop it from a high surface area and make sure it all spills over and do it indoors.

The 'Farm to Table' label is a crock of shit because it isn't legally defined

[Farm to Table] is a crock of shit, because most of it isn't farm to table. For example, the spices come out of a jar... unfortunately, those terms aren't legally defined. So you can say them and get away with a lot of gray fringe bullshit on those.

American cheese on a breakfast taco is the best type of cheese

American cheese on a breakfast taco is the best type of cheese. We need to, here's what we need to do. We need to start eating more breakfast tacos in America.

Candy corn is absolutely delicious and should be a year-round candy

Candy corn is absolutely delicious. I think it should be a year-round candy, and I can't wait to eat it for the next month.

Animal crackers are cookies, not crackers

I think they're cookies. They're sweet. They're not savory, they're sweet... they're the worst cookie but the best cracker.

Grapes are the real frauds because they don't actually taste like grape

Grapes are the real frauds. Grapes don't taste like grape anymore. They got cucked out of their own taste... You're drinking a grape soda, but it is not grape. It doesn't taste like grapes. It tastes like purple.

If you don't like mayonnaise, you are probably homophobic and misogynistic

If you don't like mayo, you're actually, well, and also, you're probably kind of homophobic and a little misogynistic. Because you're just like, your masculinity is threatened by having this creamy, delicious spread just down your throat.

The Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich is the 'Granddaddy of them all' for chicken sandwiches

I'm going to go with a spicy chicken sandwich at Wendy's. I actually had this listed before Chick-fil-A on my big board. So it's a good value pick for me. I think it's kind of the granddaddy of them all as far as chicken sandwiches go.

McDonald's fries are the best fast food item

And then for my last pick, McDonald's fries. Can't believe I got that one in the fourth round. I know. I know.

The Whataburger Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit is the best breakfast sandwich in America

Big time honorable mention to Whataburger Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit. Yes. Best breakfast sandwich in America. People forget Whataburger, not the best thing on the menu, is not burgers. It's the Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit. And it is incredible.

Allagash White is my number one micro-brew and I am responsible for making the brand famous

But the last one is Allagash White, which I made famous. I mean, it's a little bit of a cliche, but I mean, I have two or three Allagash Whites a week. I mean, it's good beer. What more can I tell you?

Rosé cider is delicious despite being a 'chick drink'

Rosé cider. Kind of a chick drink, but it's just so delicious. I could drink it any day. Sometimes the ones in the can have a lot of sugar, though, so I try and go out of my way to find one with low sugar.

Riptide Rush is the only good Gatorade flavor

I'll go Mint Chocolate Chip and Riptide Rush... [Riptide Rush is] the only good one. No, it's the white one.

I would eat three steaks a day for 30 days for $10 million

If you've got $10 million you want to put up, I'll have three stakes a day for an entire 30 days. Wow. It's out there.

A hot dog or sausage at a stadium is incomplete without grilled onions

You can't get a hot dog or a sausage in a stadium without doing the grilled onions. I'll walk to the ends of earth. There'll be one stand that has grilled onions. You've got to get to that stand. If you don't do that, you're just a rookie.

Cracker Jacks are the coleslaw of candy

Cracker Jacks are the coleslaw of candy. They're good for like a handful. Yeah, and nobody really likes it. It's more about the visual of walking around with a thing of Cracker Jacks.

The best stadium food is anything you can throw the shell or remains of on the floor

The best is just any food that you can eat and then throw away. Throw away the shell of it and you don't give a shit.

I have eaten more bologna than anyone else in the world

I really believe that, at least at my age. I can say that for sure. No one can beat me in the bologna [eating competition].

Bologna is the ultimate comfort food and survival food

Whenever I want to feel good, I eat bologna. If someone said, what's the one food you're bringing in that bunker? Simple: Bologna. Because it can turn into so many other meals... I fry it... Once I fry it, I kill all that bacteria and I still got a great meal.

Raisins are just rotten grapes

You've been had just like raisins are just rotten grapes.

Mint chocolate chip is the best ice cream flavor

My number one flavor... It's mint chocolate chip. Best ice cream flavor there is. Number one pick.