Takes

The NFL is better when kickers are erratic and unpredictable

We want to see Roberto Aguayo stick around because the NFL is always a better place. When there's a kicker that whenever he lines up, you don't know which way the ball is going to go. Like it might hit the ref in the head and knock him unconscious.

Watching Hard Knocks will lead to drafting a bust running back in your fantasy league

It is also the time of year where you watch Hard Knocks and you fall in love with a guy who's catching everything or the backup running back, and then you draft him in your fantasy league, and he sucks. It's called the Chris Polk.

JJ Watt might legitimately be forced into retirement by this injury

It's a tibial plateau fracture and as somebody with Google I can now report with confidence that he's fucked... This might be like legit retirement for J.J. Watt. Not Players' Tribune fakery.

Deshaun Watson is the best quarterback in the 2017 draft class

I like Deshaun Watson. I think Deshaun Watson has proven he can play in big games... I think Deshaun Watson is probably number one.

TJ Watt is definitively the best defensive player in football

For anybody who's been watching the NFL this year or the past three years... the best defensive player in football has been TJ watt. It's a fact.

T.J. Watt will be a better player than me if he stays healthy

If he stays healthy and, and I, I hope he stays healthy and I hope he does. He'll break every record I got and he'll absolutely be a better player than me. There's no doubt for a single season, for a single, like being able to do everything. I I I won't give up that title.

I would never want Kirk Cousins to be the quarterback of the Bears

I just don't want [Kirk Cousins] on the Bears. It's not a rule that just because the Bears don't have quarterbacks, I can't criticize other quarterbacks.

Running backs are better when they are dumb because they don't feel pain

If you're a running back, guess what? I like my running backs dumb. They're better when they're dumb. There's a reason Barry Sanders retired early, and Emmitt Smith got the record, because Barry started realizing... When you're smarter, you can tell when your body's hurt, and then you're like, hey, I better not play football anymore. When you're dumb, you don't feel pain.

The media is inflating the severity of Tom Brady's hand injury to give the Jaguars a reason for people to watch

If the Patriots are playing the Steelers and this hand thing happened, they wouldn't even be talking about it. But they know that the Jaguars, they need a storyline, they need a reason for people to watch, they need a reason to believe, so they're inflating the severity of his hand.

Deshaun Watson does not love playing the game of football

A lot of people were having the discourse. Does Deshaun Watson love football? Mm. Does he love, does he love being a football player or does he love playing football? Mm. I love that conversation... I think he just loves being a football player. Big Cat. He loves being paid like a football player... I don't think that he loves football. He doesn't love the grind.

Baker Mayfield is tipping off Adam Schefter with fake news tips to make him look like an idiot

Baker Mayfield... has been tipping off Adam Schefter with fake shit and making him look like an idiot because he knows we got a little rivalry with the P-Man.

Deshaun Watson was more dominant in the NFL than he was in college

Look at what Deshaun Watson did. Deshaun Watson was more dominant at the NFL level than he was at the college level. Nobody expected that.

The Vikings are a team to watch for trading up to draft a quarterback for the future

Another team that I would keep an eye on... Kirk Cousins' contract is done after this year... if the Vikings are looking for the future and one of these guys starts slipping past 10, past 11, past 12... maybe they move up and they go and make a move and get one of them. I wouldn't be shocked with that.

It is better to run trick plays as soon as they are ready rather than saving them for later

If you're gonna invest the time and the energy to install it [a trick play] and practice it on the field, then why wait? What could be another four weeks before you get actually get a chance to run it? You might as well capitalize on that opportunity right now.

I finally have a football game to watch every single week from now until the second week of February

We have finally gotten to the point where we will have a football game every single week until the second week of February. We have the Hall of Fame game on Thursday night. There will be a football game every single week.

Sammy Watkins is in a cult

My cool throne is Sammy Watkins being in a cult. ... As we've been speculating, we've been squatting on the take that Sammy Watkins is in the cult for like the last three years on the show. Sammy really... talked about all the weird stuff. ... So now he's happy that he's in a cult.

Deshaun Watson is the Michael Jordan of the NFL

When Dabo Swinney says [Deshaun Watson] is Michael Jordan, that's what he's talking about. The fact that he has that poise and that one play where he got sacked twice, spun around and made a play.

Deshaun Watson will not have a great season due to his ACL recovery timeline

I didn't think that Deshaun Watson was going to have a great year this year because Adrian Peterson screwed it up for everybody by coming back from that ACL so quickly... It's going to be like a year and a half before he gets back to normal.

The Pro Bowl has reached a point where it is more fun to joke about than to actually watch

I think it's reached a point where it stinks so bad that it's more fun to joke about the Pro Bowl.

The Patriots should draft Travis Hunter with the number one overall pick

If the season ended today, the mighty New England Patriots would be on the clock... I think you probably got to go with the best player in college football, Travis Hunter. [The scouts] know.

The Rams are one of the most fun teams to watch because Matthew Stafford is so volatile

Oh, I love the Rams. You know why? Because they don't score 20 points every week. They like sometimes score, like sometimes Stafford is like 40 points and then some weeks, nothing. It's so fun.

If you have a problem watching Patrick Mahomes, you have a problem watching football

If you have a problem watching [Mahomes] play quarterback, you have a problem watching football. That's true. I mean, you don't have to root for him. But don't, ah, appreciate greatness. No, stop it.

J.J. Watt will catch at least two touchdowns against the Bengals

My prediction is J.J. Watt scores two touchdowns because the Texans have three tight ends that all have concussions. So J.J. Watt's going to catch some balls tonight.

Adam Thielen becoming a Steeler was the fulfillment of a Mike Tomlin 'soup spoon' prophecy

Mike Tomlin will say something like, 'we can't eat soup with forks, we need spoons.' Then the Steelers will sign a 2018 Pro Bowler... You [Adam Thielen] were a Pro Bowler in 2018. This tweet was put up on November 30th, 2025. You became a Steeler December 2nd.

SkyCam is the superior way to watch football because it shows the verticality of the game

Football's a vertical game. You need to see how it goes downfield. You don't get that from the sideline camera angle. Us all 22 guys, we live for the Skycam.

Travis Hunter will be drafted as a cornerback and only used as a part-time 'spot' wide receiver in the NFL

I think when he gets drafted, [Hunter], they will draft him as a corner. And they would spot play him as a wide receiver. Because if he gets on a pro team, he can legitimately be your best corner, but he's probably gonna be your third best receiver.

Watching Super Bowl tape as motivation before a rematch is a bad move by Kyle Shanahan

Kyle Shanahan forced the team to watch the Super Bowl this week and said, I think everyone understands that we've lost two Super Bowls [to] them. So, I mean, that can give you a little post-traumatic stress when you turn on the tape. I don't know. I don't know if I like that. ... In what world does that improve morale? Zero. I I guess you could just hope that it's gonna piss 'em off.

Deshaun Watson has overcome too much in his past

I disagree with him [Johnny Fanta] about Deshaun. If there's a knock on Deshaun, he has overcome too much in his past.

The Cowboys are depressing to watch and need to 'sage the place' to fix their vibes

The Cowboys are depressing to watch now. I cannot watch them. They have some bad, it's a bad vibe on them. They need to Sage that place. They have everything that you would need on offense, but something doesn't work. They need to Sage it.

I am officially walking around inside J.J. Watt's brain right now.

I'm, I'm, I'm walking around in J.J. Watt's brain right now. I'm drinking the beers, but that's in J.J. Watt's brain. [I] clogged his brain's toilet right now.

Roger Goodell will go 'God mode' and prevent Deshaun Watson from playing even if he gets traded.

My prediction is that Roger Goodell is going to go God mode. He has that power to be like, 'You're not playing. You're never playing.' I'm putting you on my secret list... He is absolutely itching to just be like, 'I am your Lord. You are not allowed to play.'

The Jaguars might be a top-tier team after winning three games in a row

The Jags looked good. Their defense looked very good... credit to the Jags. Two games in London, one against the Bills, and then coming back home. They've won three in a row. They've righted the ship after that Chiefs/Texans double loss... the Jags might be good.

If the Giants and Dolphins game had better weather, I'd bet the over 48.5

I love the over in this game, just because I don't know if the Giants, the Giants have played really good defenses, by the way... I think it's a bounce back game for the Dolphins.

Deshaun Watson should want to play for the Eagles over the Panthers or Saints

If I'm Deshaun Watson, I don't want to go to the Panthers. Cause Matt Rhule's on the hot seat... I really do like the Eagles as a destination because the division's not the strongest. The conference is weaker than the AFC top to bottom. I think that if I had to pick which team I wanted to play for, I'd say the Eagles.

The San Francisco 49ers have already 'clinched' a playoff berth after Week 3

The Niners have clinched a playoff berth. Congratulations to the San Francisco 49ers. That's huge.

J.J. Watt rejected the Top 100 players list only to show everyone how humble he is

J.J. responded to it and said, I only played three games last year. What a joke this list is. So J.J. gets it. He's going to make sure that everybody knows how humble he is. And he's rejecting the title of a top 100 player. While also letting everyone know that he made the top 100 list.

Deshaun Watson is ruining the team he wants to be traded to

You're essentially saying, I want to be traded to a team that then will give up a bunch of draft capital and then hurt my ability to play for a winning team. In a way, yeah. He's almost kind of shitting in his own house and then buying the house.

No team should trade four first-round picks for Deshaun Watson

I think that you would be screwing yourself so royally over for the future if you give up four first-round picks... I wouldn't do it for four.

J.J. Watt's extreme health and diet routines are a cover to hide that he uses steroids

J.J. Watt doing a new health thing just to make pretend he's non-steroids. So last year it was like nine avocados a day or whatever... he was like sleeping in that bed in the middle of the day during Hard Knocks.

Deshaun Watson is a disgusting human being who also happens to stink at quarterback

Either he is the victim of the biggest, most coordinated, most ruthless smear campaign against an individual maybe in the history of sports, or he's a disgusting human being who should be in jail. Either way he stinks at quarterback.

Starting Deshaun Watson now will ruin him because the Texans' offensive line is terrible

It's also the most perfect Houston Texans thing of all time to wait to play your good quarterback [Watson] right when the offensive line is at its absolute worst. Yeah, ruin your franchise quarterback. This is going to be perfect because it's almost like an inside job. The timing is a little bit too convenient. So what's going to happen is Deshaun's going to go out there, get fucking killed, and not look good, and then O'Brien's going to be like, I told you, you can't start a rookie.

You are a fake fan if you don't watch Thursday Night Football because of a 'bad' matchup

If you're the kind of fan that doesn't watch Thursday Night Football because you've got work tomorrow morning or it's between two of the worst teams of the past 25 years or some other excuse like that, guess what? You're a fake fan. Fake. Fraud. Shame.

Larry Fitzgerald will come back later this year and play for the Cardinals

I do think that [Larry Fitzgerald] is going to come back later on this year and play on the Cardinals... especially if there's an injury.

The Cardinals will have a very good, fun-to-watch offense this season

I think the Cardinals' offense is going to be very good this year... I think they might be one of those really fun teams to watch. They might not win seven or eight games, but they give us some great red zone late witching hour moments.

JJ Watt should sign with Cleveland or Buffalo to achieve legendary status

Cleveland does, you know, we discussed it when he became a free agent. Like, that is the... franchise you can go to that will embrace him... If you're the final piece to bring a Super Bowl to [Cleveland or Buffalo], it's a totally different level than signing with the Titans or with the Packers.

NFL Draft prospects must understand they are CEOs of Fortune 500 companies

You've got to understand for the next, you know, four or five months, this is locked in time... You are going to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, essentially. I never looked at it that way. Of course, I see it completely different now, and that's the way you have to look at it. You are the head of a foundation, of an organization, and you can be for a long period of time.

Deshaun Watson does not have it in him to actually sit out games to force a trade

I don't think [Deshaun Watson] has it in him, though. I really don't. I just think he wants to play football.

I have never wavered from the Patriots making the playoffs

I have never wavered from the Patriots making the playoffs. And I still think that.

The Chiefs, Lions, Falcons, and Chargers are the funnest teams to watch because of the inevitable chaos

I would put like the Chiefs, the Lions, the Falcons, and the Chargers as like the funnest teams to watch in the NFL, knowing that some crazy shit's going to happen. Like a 21-point lead [blowing it]. Some sort of heartbreak occur to the Lions franchise.

The Giants are better without Saquon Barkley

So what you're basically saying is that the Giants are better without Saquon Barkley. Yes. I forgot he existed. I legit, before you said that word, holy shit... with those two guys' [Gallman/Morris] skill sets, it's actually a plus improvement over losing Saquon Barkley.