Takes

LIV Golf players sold their souls and should be shunned by golf fans

I hope everybody in LIV dies in a fiery boat accident. I hate LIV, I hate the whole idea. But imagine you guys, if they took half the NFL and said, 'hey, half the teams are gonna move to Saudi Arabia, we're gonna pay 'em five times what they're worth'... That's what happened to my sport... Tiger didn't [take the money]. And so I love Tiger for that.

The Masters is the best major, but the American Century celebrity tournament is second

I'd go Masters still first. I'd go American Century second. I have Steph Curry this week to finish top 10... A good British Open is like tied second with a Ryder Cup for me. But I would say Masters first no matter what.

I blew the lead at the Masters because Blakes don't win anything

I decided to blow the lead at the Masters because Blakes don't win anything. Right? Yep. So I figured that that was my way in, unfortunately, a couple weeks before I won [the PGA], but yeah, I figured that was... Blakes haven't won anything.

Golf ball manufacturers should put tracking chips in balls to prevent loss

They need to make a fucking golf ball with a chip in it that you can locate on your phone when you lose it in the Woods or in a bush or in tall grass. ... Let's make a golf ball with a chip in it. We we're way overdue for that

Jordan Spieth is wearing a cheap $500 Instagram ad suit that hides 'fat and frumpy' bodies

Jordan Spieth has a lot, a lot of money. But I think I have that same suit and I understand what happened. ... I think he's wearing a $500 Instagram suit. ... It's a stretchy material that doesn't iron well. And so it's like, it's like a, it's like almost like a, it's like an Under Armour shirt in a suit form.

To fix a slice, you should just hit the ball as hard as you can

The biggest misconception is to swing easy and try to like, like if you're like, when I'm at my most nervous, sometimes I swing as hard as I can... especially if you ease into it, you're gonna slice, you're gonna hit it to the right. So if I was you guys, just hit it as hard as you can.

Golf is better when fans have specific players to root against like Brooks Koepka

Biggest pet peeves about golf is that no matter who wins, we all say yay at the end of it... You rally around one guy, right? And that's what you also need to be able to rally against one guy... Frankie has been going against Brooks for a few years now.

The Los Angeles Country Club was a terrible course for the US Open.

The Big Loser this weekend was the course. That course sucked. I disavowed that course. They should take it off because there was no big game feeling with this course. It was a soft course.

My struggles in Majors are due to being too anxious and trying too hard

I can just tell I'm like more anxious, trying too hard... it's not a mental block. It's like I know what I'm doing but I just feel more like high strung, more wound up instead of just playing golf.

Jay Monahan is the biggest scumbag in the world

Jay Monahan, the biggest scumbag in the world, the biggest scumbag in the world. He invoked 9/11 if they were to accept a hundred million dollars to go play golf on the LIV tour. So he said that to his players with a straight face. He brought in 9/11 families to act as a human shield for what he was doing behind the scenes, which was negotiating with the LIV tour.

Team golf doesn't work long-term

I still don't, I think the LIV knew that like team format doesn't work, team formats don't work in golf. It just doesn't. The way golf works is you have a bunch of guys competing against each other for the best.

Jay Monahan and Rory McIlroy are the biggest losers of the LIV/PGA merger

The biggest losers in this, Jay Monahan number one, probably Rory McIlroy number two. Not because Rory's a bad guy, just because he was the most vocal. And Brandel Chamblee, because he really dug his feet in on the take. It's one of the saddest days in the history of professional golf.

Brooks Koepka is the closest player to Tiger Woods in big moments

Obviously Tiger's the greatest... but I think Brooks is the closest to Tiger in terms of big lights showing up. Like the ice in his veins in these big moments. He's just there.

You play golf better when you're hungover

That just backs up, I think what a lot of us already know, which is you play golf better when you're hungover. Because you're like, get me the fuck out of the sun. I wanna get home. So you play faster.

Frost delays in golf are soft

If you can't just... frost delay. You see frost delay that's soft. That is soft. There's frost on the grass. We can't play.

A bomb disposal expert is the ideal person to be a golfer's mental coach

Having a bomb disposal, that's probably the best person in the world to talk to about remaining calm. Rom wanted to fix his temper because he has all these outbursts... and the bomb disposal guy was like, let's just not talk about golf. Let's just talk about your normal temper.

The Masters and The Open are the two tournaments I want to win most

The Masters is special... that in the open are my two favorite events... that would be, that would be definitely way up on that list.

You don't need to be the best at every area of the game to be successful in golf

You absolutely do not need to be the best at every area of the game to be successful. So I'm chasing something that I, I know like that that was unattainable to be that good at, honestly. But besides Tiger Tiger's the only person in history that's been the best at like four to five things in golf.

Rory McIlroy did not deserve to win the 2022 Open Championship

If you're Rory and you're leading the Open and in the back nine, you only have one birdie... He didn't necessarily choke, but he didn't, he didn't deserve to win. Like he didn't, he didn't play the back nine like a champion.

The smart play on the 17th hole at St. Andrews is to aim for the 18th tee

On the 17th hole. You actually wanna miss it left of the green. The play is you actually hit it on 18 tee and it's a pretty easy chip shot. So again, not super simple when there's people standing over there. But if you were playing for a score, like playing on an open today, you wanna bail it out left and you give yourself a pretty easy check.

Rory McIlroy is the favorite to win because he truly understands and values golf history

I love Rory this week because I think that Rory's played well lately. And Rory is the kind of guy that actually cares about sports history. Unlike so many athletes, I mean, he dives into this stuff. He eats it up. He knows what it means to win at certain places. So, you know, for people that aren't big golf fans winning at St. Andrews, I'd say is probably the biggest accomplishment in golf outside, even of winning the masters.

Crown Prince Muhammad bin Salman is the most annoying guy in golf for ruining the game

One crown prince Muhammad bin Salman. He's an annoying golf [guy]. He is annoying. He's taken. He's just ruined the game of golf for everybody. Really. He's probably the most annoying golf guy. And if he hears me say this, he probably saw my arms off. Yes.

Familiarity with Brookline was a massive advantage in the US Open

[Knowing the course] Massive. Yeah. I just feel like, because I had success there before I just felt, I did feel like really confident throughout the whole week. I just felt I was so comfortable where I needed to go... There wasn't one shot out there that I felt intimidated by.

I am a huge LIV Golf fan because the golfers are good and it's free on YouTube

I've been watching the LIV Tour since it started. I will continue to watch it. I'm a huge LIV fan. I'm just like put sports in front of me if they're entertaining and good golfers, I'll probably tune in, especially if it's free on YouTube.

Will Zalatoris has to figure out his putting based on vibes

I actually afterwards said that Will Zalatoris has to figure out his putting... I do strokes gained by vibes. He missed a big putt. He, I would say he lost somewhere around $50,000 worth of strokes gained for me personally.

LIV Golf is the tour for people who are in debt or recently divorced

Somebody pointed out... they said that it was the tour for people who were either heavily in debt or recently divorced. And that's exactly right. Like if you need to make alimony payments, you're going to the fucking LIV. You're going to take the money and run.

I'm actually into watching the LIV Golf tour

I mean, if a fan, like I'm watching it... it's entertaining. I can't, I'm not gonna sit here and say, it's not.

Mito Pereira's PGA meltdown wasn't as bad as Jean van de Velde's in 1999

He does have the fact that it's not the worst 18th hole meltdown of the history of the majors that will forever be [Jean] van de Velde, the French guy that ended up taking off his socks. I wish that Mito had tried to do that.

Danny Woodhead is better at golf than Tony Romo

My guy Danny Woodhead... He is very close to qualifying for the U.S. Open in golf. ... He's better than Tony Romo at golf.

America needs night golf with floodlights on 18-hole courses

Why in America do we not have night golf? ... you can get a short, you know, a four or 5,000 yard, 18 hole course. So they're all short par fours or par threes and play golf at night. Tee off at 10 o'clock with your buddies.

Winning tournaments when no one is watching is my MO

I fly way, way, way under the radar. I'm glad this tournament didn't sound like a video game... I saw the Derby yesterday. Everyone's very, very focused on other things other than the golf. And that's, I feel like when I'm the most, most powerful.

I would shoot a 13 on the 18th hole at Augusta if I was lucky

I think I'd go 13. I would, I documented I'd slice it into the woods. I would hit it into a tree... piece of shit, one good shot. Then I'd just go bunker, bunker, maybe like, like a, sorry, a sand wedge that I can't hit for shit for five yards. Then another one on then I'd put like five times 13.

Tiger Woods is the only person who can pull off a mock turtleneck; anyone else would look like a tube of cookie dough

The mock turtleneck, short sleeve, tight shirt, people are going nuts over and you're going to see a lot of guys that try to pull off this look that Tiger's got right now. And it's only Tiger that can pull this off. If you or I showed up, it would look like we got a big tube of cookie dough that got left out in the sun for three days.

The Masters at Augusta National is tarnished by letting Dude Perfect and Bryson DeChambeau film content there

The course at Augusta National Georgia... tough look over the weekend. Bryson DeChambeau and Dude Perfect got together... and they went to Augusta's Amen Corner... I actually am on the side of golf hardos that like, if you say that exclusivity is your thing and it's sacred, you can't have this.

Max Homa would be the worst golfer of all time to win the Masters if he pulls it off

Max [Homa] would be the worst golfer of all time to win the masters... I'm saying this from a place of love, max would max home of the be worst golfer of all time to win the masters.

Phil Mickelson is naive and selfish for his Saudi comments

I love what a dumb ass Bryson is... Phil Mickelson, oopsie... I thought Phil Mickelson was naive, selfish, egotistical, and ignorant because he, you need to kick him when he was down... he actually wrapped all the contexts in the world around that quote.

The Waste Management Open is the best sporting event crowd scene in the world

Waste management opening was this weekend. One of the best, I think sporting event, crowd scenes, that I've never been to that looks so, so, so much fun... you know, I went to showers, beers, throw beers, have to delay and clean them all up. It looks unbelievable.

I would rather be on 'Team Brooksy' than Bryson DeChambeau

Oh, my gosh, man. Brooksy all day... because Brooks puts on this thing where he thinks he's a Superman, but he is such a teddy bear behind the scenes. Yes, he is. He's a beautiful man.

Having PFT and I as caddies will be a huge advantage for Brooks Koepka

I honestly think that having me and PFT on the bag is going to be a huge advantage for [Brooks Koepka] for at least like the first hole until Big Cat and I get too tired. It's gonna inevitably ask him to just carry his own club. It's going to be an emotional jolt for about 15 minutes for him.

Tiger Woods' nickname is better than any other because it's synonymous with his dominance

This one is another synonymous name. It's an all time nickname... it is Tiger Woods. He's Eldrick Woods. His nickname is Tiger. It was given to him when he was a kid. There's nothing better. Like when he's in his red shirt on a Sunday hunting down his prey, Tiger Woods.

Winning The Open Championship is arguably more prestigious than winning The Masters

It's a low-key great trophy. I actually have a part of me that thinks I would rather win the Open Championship than the Masters. It's just so much class... just for so many years after the fact, you just get to hear Scottish people address you as the open championship winner.

Phil Mickelson is the only reason The Match is successful

Phil Mickelson, he's the guy. He's the guy who makes [The Match] go, and he gets all the credit in my mind for being just fun to be around.

I will never be 'Team Bryson' and his caddy quitting is his own fault

I will never in my entire life be team Bryson ever... If he keeps having everyone in his life quit on him, I will continue silently feeling a little bit bad for the guy because I have a heart. [But] the guy makes millions of dollars playing golf and he's got [no friends] because of himself. That should be a wake-up call.

Bryson DeChambeau is a mentally weak golfer and a quitter.

We call him a lot of stuff, but we've never called him a quitter until today. And he quit when his giant cleats didn't save him... At that point, Bryson was like, I don't want to be out here anymore. And he quit. He is a mentally weak golfer.

Bryson DeChambeau is a 'pussy' for refusing to play with Brooks Koepka

Bryson sucks today. Brooks is awesome. Bryson sucks. Brooks was tied for the lead. And then because Bryson didn't want to play with Brooks because he's too big of a pussy to do it, he had to play with a harder course in the afternoon, which basically skulls fucked him.

Bryson DeChambeau's U.S. Open win is a 'Mickey Mouse' major championship

Also Bryson, he has a Mickey Mouse U.S. Open. Can we admit that? Oh, here's something I'll just throw out there. It's a Mickey Mouse major championship. There are no fans.

Tony Romo is a genius when it comes to the mechanics of a golf swing

The guy is a genius when it comes to the mechanics. Like he understands people's golf swings better than I even think some coaches do with their students just because he sits there and he studies them nonstop.

Tiger Woods would have won the 2021 Masters if he had been able to play

I think Tiger [Woods] would have won this Masters, I'll be honest with you. I agree.

Brooks Koepka is a hero for playing the Masters on one leg

We should also say the real winner of this Masters is Brooks Koepka. Competing on one leg like a warrior. Walking paralyzed man. Exactly. So the fact he was even able to get out there and play two rounds of golf. That's impressive.

Augusta National is the Kardashians of golf courses

I think that Augusta National is the Kardashians of golf courses because everyone talks about it all the time. It's perfectly manicured. It always makes sure that it's presented in its best light. Even with the papers that they give you, they give you a wrapping paper for a pimento cheese sandwich... That's green, so even if it falls on the ground, you don't see all the trash getting blown around. It's always got its best foot forward, and they will go out of their way to make sure that it is never presented in a frumpy light.